Love Love (26 page)

I lay in Clark’s bed,
naked, awaiting his return. I stare at the beautiful diamond on my
finger. I’m going to be Mrs. Clark Thompson. A huge grin spreads
across my face. This is the moment I’ve dreamed about for seven
years. I can’t wait to tell the world. My parents won’t be happy
about it, but I don’t care. I’m happy. Happier than I’ve ever
been.

I must’ve dozed off,
because in my sleepy state, I think I hear my cell phone ringing. I
crack open my eyes and glance over at the clock, noticing two hours
have gone by and Clark isn’t beside me. Where is he? I wish he’d
hurry up. My cell phone continues to ring. I reach over to grab it
from the table beside the bed. It’s probably Clark.
“Hello?”

A hysterical voice is on
the other end. “Gabby…this is…Mmmrs. Tttthompson.”

I bolt upright in bed.
“What’s wrong?”

“
Gabby, whhhere are
you?”

“
I’m at your house waiting
for Clark. What’s wrong? You’re scaring me!”

“
Mr. Tthhompson is going
to come over there right now…There’s been an accident…
Gabby…sweetheart…it’s our Clark…”

My whole body freezes.
“What about Clark?”

“
Sweetheart, I’m so
sorry…there was a head-on...collision…he didn’t…make
it.”

I drop the cell phone to
the ground and all I hear are my own screams.

I’m moaning loudly and feel shaky.
Sweat is gushing from my skin and tears are spiraling off my
checks. Brad sits up quickly and flips on the light. “My God,
Gabby, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

I can’t speak and uncontrollable sobs
are the only thing that make their way out of my body. Brad holds
me in the safety of his arms for what seems like seconds, minutes,
hours. I lose track. When I finally stop shivering, he sits back
and lifts my chin to meet his gaze.

“
Gabby, talk to me. Please.
What is it that’s got you so upset?”

I take a couple of deep breaths, and
with a shaky voice it all pours out from the overflowing river of
my mind; I tell Brad about Clark. “Clark was…he was everything to
me. My first…love. Back in those days, the person I thought would
be my life. We dated all through…high school…and college. He asked
me…asked me to…”

“
Shhh, baby, it’s
okay.”

But I have to do this, I can’t stop
now. “He asked me to marry him…that night. He left me…and then he
never came back…an accident…he died…” Pausing, I swipe the tears
with my arm. “After that, everything went…black for me. I became
numb. It’s been…well…over three years now and it’s been stuck
inside of me. I haven’t been able to let it go.”

Brad cloaks me with his arms. “I’m so
sorry, Gabby. I’m sorry you lost Clark, and that you’ve lived with
this pain buried inside for so long.” He holds me close and gently
strokes my hair with his fingers. “It's okay, baby. There's no time
limit on grief. Breathe it, feel it, let it seep into you. When
you're ready, and only when you're ready, you’ll be able to let it
go. And even then, it will stay with you, somewhere in a part of
your soul. The part where you don't want to ever forget, because
there's no forgetting love, especially a love like that.” He wipes
a stray tear with his thumb before he continues. “I understand what
you’re feeling, though. Grief can be overwhelming. I felt like that
when my mom and sister died. There’s a part of me that didn’t want
to go on living, not without them. I kept seeing their faces
everywhere, feeling them, breathing them. I wanted them back so
desperately. It took me a long time to come to terms with it.” Brad
lays me back down and wraps his arms around me, letting my tears
soak into his chest and fall onto his heart.

***

My
puffy eyes are disturbed by the bright sunlight trying to break in.
I rub the sleep away and try to crack them open. When they come
into focus, I see that Brad is gone. There’s a handwritten note on
the table.

Hi Baby,

I had to open the shop
early but didn’t want to wake you. Hope you managed to get some
sleep. I slept well knowing you were in my arms. I’ll remember how
beautiful you looked all day.

Brad

I’m exhausted, but for the first time
in a long time, I feel like I can breathe again. Brad’s support and
understanding lifted me. He made me feel safe, like the world
couldn’t hurt me anymore.

I sit up in bed, feeling the full
weight of my emotional exhaustion. My head and body hurt and my
eyes are sore from crying. It feels like I’ve got whiplash. All I
want to do is go back to bed. It’s a work day, so no such luck. I
drag myself out of bed to shower. As soon as I open my bedroom
door, I see Fran standing in the hallway, smiling wickedly and
tapping her fingernails against my doorframe, fresh from her
shower. “So…I bumped into someone this morning when I woke up…a
cute someone with a dimpled grin.”

My lips turn up into a ginormous
smile. “Oh, him?”

“
Don’t ‘oh him’ me, Gabby!
Did you have sex?”

“
NO…we didn’t!”

“
So what were you guys
doing in there then?”

“
Uh…sleeping. I called him
after I found out about Dane’s fiancée.” I walk to the bathroom and
Fran follows behind me. Grabbing a towel off the shelf, I pull my
sweatpants off and slide my t-shirt over my head.

“
His WHAT?”

Reaching through the shower curtain, I
turn the water on then look back at Fran. “Yeah, he’s freaking
engaged to be married, Fran.”

“
What a fucking asshole,”
she growls, seriously annoyed.

Hopping in the shower, I close the
curtain and let the warm water wash over me. “I couldn’t have said
it better myself.”

“
So what
happened?”

“
Nothing. After I met her,
I stormed out of the hotel. I actually feel sorry for her. She’s in
for a future full of heartache and God knows what else.”

“
Honey, I’m so
sorry.”

I smile as I massage shampoo through
my hair. “I’m not. I told Brad about Clark last night.”

“
How did he react?” She’s
concerned and has every right to be. I’ve never told anyone about
Clark.

“
He was compassionate and
understanding. God, Fran, he was so amazing. He held me all night
while I sobbed.”

“
I’m glad you finally told
him, Gabby. You’ve been holding on to that for way too long. You
needed to let it out so you can be rid of it once and for all, you
know.”

I sigh deeply. “I know.”

Stepping out of the shower, I cover my
body with a towel. Fran walks over and wraps her arms around me, my
hair dripping on her shoulder. “Thank goodness. Now maybe you can
start letting yourself be happy. Clark would want you to be happy.
You know I love you so freaking much.”

“
I love you,
too.”

She pulls back and scans my face. “So
getting back to this no sex thing…you really didn’t do
it?”

“
No. He was a perfect
gentleman.”

“
I’m sorry to hear
that.”

I stick my tongue out at her. “It’s
different with him, Fran. It’s hard to explain, it’s just
different. In a good way.”

“
I know, chickie. It’s all
good, and I’m happy for you. But, when it does happen, I want a
full report.”

“
You’ll be the first one to
know,” I respond. “Promise.”

When Fran leaves the bathroom and I
see myself in the mirror, I’m mortified. A blotchy face accompanied
by dark circles and puffy eyes jump out at me. I reach in the
drawer for my makeup bag and attempt unsuccessfully to cover it all
up.

I’m almost finished dressing when my
phone rings, and I immediately regret answering it when I hear
Dane’s voice. “Gabby, I want to explain everything. I need to see
you. Please tell me you’ll meet me.”

I’m tired of this crap. “Dane, there’s
no need to explain,” I snap. “I have absolutely nothing to say to
you. Besides, whatever we had is over. I told you that I’m
interested in someone else. Go back to your fiancée and leave me
alone!” I hang up abruptly. That was annoying, but I refuse to let
him get under my skin. I have somewhere important I need to
be.

That familiar jingle alerts Brad to my
presence. His eyes immediately meet mine and I see that smile; the
one that opens the door to my heart. Brad skips over and locks his
lips with mine. It’s a good thing there are other people around,
because I have an intense desire to pull him close and deepen the
kiss.

He leans in and studies my face with
concern. “How are you?”

I exhale a large breath. “I’m better
now.” I am better now. I feel different. Lighter. Freer.

He takes my hand and leads me to a
booth. “I’m gonna make you a latte. I’ll be right back.” When he
comes back, he moves in and sits close to me, taking my hand in
his. “You look so tired, baby. Did you manage to get any
sleep?”

“
Yeah, a little bit. I’m
more emotionally exhausted than anything else.”

He brings my hand to his mouth. “Thank
you.”

Why is he thanking me? “For
what?”

“
For opening up to me. I
knew there was something deep troubling you, but had no idea what
it was. I can’t imagine what the past three years have been like
for you.”

I move in closer and rest
my head on his shoulder. “Thank
you
.”

“
For what?”

Picking my head up, I look in his
eyes. “For being here, and being you.”

***

This
week has flown by, and it’s been the best week I’ve had in a long
time. It’s Friday, and I know that for two reasons. One, I’m seeing
Brad this evening, and two, I saw the pink lilies courtesy of
Kyle’s Friday delivery sitting on the coffee table this
morning.

First though, I have to get through
the day. My annoying red light is blinking, but I only have
thirty-two voicemail messages, and nobody needs anything yesterday.
Robby has completed a couple of penthouse redesigns and has two
very satisfied clients. Needless to say, he’s in a very good mood,
which is precisely why I choose this time to talk with him about
Dane.

I walk nervously over to his office
door and then hesitate, biting on my lip. “Hey Robby, can I talk to
you?”

“
Sure, dahling, come on in.
Have a seat, sweetheart.” Robby says absentmindedly. He’s
concentrating heavily, typing away at his computer while he eyes
design plans on his desk.

I sit down, cross my legs, and begin
playing with the fabric on the chair. “Well, I’m not sure how to
say this, but…”

He continues to type without looking
up. “Gabby, if you’re handing me your resignation, you can forget
it. I won’t accept. You’re my most valuable asset here,
dahling.”

Pausing, I’m even hesitant to say his
name. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s actually about Dane
Rhodes.”

Now he stops and meets my gaze. “Yes,
what about Dane?”

“
Well, I’m wondering if
there’s any way Valerie can take over his project? We had
a…”