Love Me Broken (14 page)

“There’s only one,” he says contemptuously.

Erica looks over to him. “Excuse me?” she asks.

“You only got her one ticket.” Chad shoves the card back to Nicole. “You can’t expect Nicole to go across the country without me.”

Erica blinks. I can tell she’s fighting with herself to give Chad a somewhat respectful answer, but I’m sure she’s thinking what we’re all thinking: this is Nicole’s gift. It has nothing to do with Chad. He’s acting like a child.

“I’m sorry,” Erica says eventually. “I didn’t have enough money for both.”

“Well, that’s not much of a gift,” Chad sneers.

“Watch it,” I say, stepping forward. Chad meets my eyes, and I can tell at once he’d love nothing more than to start a fight.

And I’d love nothing more than to give him one. Except I feel Erica’s hand on my arm, and I’m here for her, not my ego.

“Let’s go inside,” she says, and then to Nicole: “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” Nicole says. “
I
love your gift.”

I tear my eyes away from Chad’s, and follow Erica inside. “That guy’s a jerk,” I say almost at once. “I know she’s your friend, and I don’t know her at all, but she can do better.”

Erica lets out a sigh. “Yeah. I know. I’m sure Nicole knows too.” We step up onto the porch and head back into the kitchen. “But it doesn’t really matter. None of her boyfriends last more than a few weeks anyway. I think she just likes having someone around.”

I look at Erica and wonder if she thinks of me the same way. She catches my eye and guesses what I’m thinking.

“I don’t approve of it,” she says. “I think she should look for someone who treats her right.”

I nod, and we go back into the main house. My mind quickly returns to the idea of Erica leaving for college. When was she planning to tell me?
Was
she planning to tell me?

We pass the noise of the main living room and take a seat on a bench in front of a window. Erica takes a small sip of her drink. Honestly, I’m not sure she’s done more than put the liquid to her lips. It’s just the appearance of drinking, of having fun at the party. She’s looking around at the other people with obvious discomfort. Some have said hello to her, so I know she knows them. But I get the sense that she hasn’t hung out with them for a while. Yet again, I get the feeling that there is something else going on, something bigger, that she’s not telling me. There’s so much she’s holding back.

“So,” I say, after a minute or so of her watching the crowd, and me watching her. She turns to me and gives a small smile. “So,” I repeat, “Columbia?”

Her smile drops and her eyes fill with pain. “Yeah,” she says, and instantly looks away. “It was sort of a last-minute thing. I’m—I’m actually not that—I mean, I think Nicole is more excited about it than I am. I just, I just can’t live in this town anymore.”

“Astoria?”

She’s still not looking at me. She nods.

“What’s wrong with Astoria?”

A tense smile forms on her face, and she looks like she’s about to cry out of nowhere. Then she turns to me. “You want some more soda?”

I blink, then say, “Sure. If that’s what you want.”

She’s up in a flash and I’m following her back to the kitchen. She refills the few drops that she’s already sipped, and I refill the third of my glass that I’ve drunk. She’s still got that awful tense smile on her face, and she’s not saying anything. It’s starting to make me seriously uncomfortable, so I cave and try to change the subject.

“How’s the search going for Pete’s owner?” I ask.

She lightens immediately and gives a sardonic laugh. “Oh, not so good. No calls yet.”

“Even after all those posters?” I ask, flashing her a grin. She takes the bait and grins back. This time it’s a real smile.

“Even so.”

“He still scratching you?”

She holds up her arm. There’s the line of scratches from before. “Nothing new,” she says proudly. Then she drops her arm. “But he still won’t let me near him. I’m starting to think I’m a horrible person for keeping him.”

“He didn’t seem like a cat that could make it on his own,” I tell her. “He needs you.”

This makes her feel almost all the way better. She looks up at me, and it’s like all the air has gone out of the room, replaced with static and energy.

She sets her cup on the kitchen counter. I set mine down.

She’s looking at me, meeting my eyes and opening herself up in a way that she hasn’t until now. Her eyes are so green, so hopeful. She looks so innocent and confused and full of longing. She seems so alive, so loud with life compared to other people. I can’t walk away, even though I know I should. She can’t be that serious about me if she’s holding back so much. She must not trust me at all. But still I can’t look away. I can’t even think properly when she’s near.

She bites her bottom lip, and I instinctively reach up a hand and run a fingertip along it. Her breath catches, and we inch closer to each other. She closes her eyes, and I inhale through my nose, my heart racing. I lean in, and—

There’s a crash in the next room, followed by shouting. Erica and I pull away from each other abruptly and look toward the living room. There are voices yelling. After a moment, I recognize them as Chad’s and Nicole’s.

We leave our drinks behind and head into the living room. Nicole is by the door, blocking it, and Chad is trying to get past her.

“Give me the keys!” he shouts. His voice is slurred, and when he tries to lurch toward Nicole, he stumbles and has trouble catching himself. Chad is very obviously wasted. He reaches out to Nicole—more than reaches, his fist punches through the air—and swipes at her side. Nicole is too fast, and pulls up her hand. There is a set of keys in them that jingles as she lifts them.

“No, Chad,” she says. “You can’t drive. You’re drunk!”

“I feel
fine
,” he says, and then gives a loud belch. “Stop being such a bitch and give ’em to me.”

The scene is trashy and loud, and the other party guests are laughing and hooting. I look over to Erica, who looks like she’s going to be sick.

Chad yells again, this time his voice getting meaner. “You’re going to give me my keys,” he growls, “then you’re going to get in
my
car and shut the fuck up. You understand?”

He raises a hand to Nicole, and Erica gasps.

This has gone too far.

I cross the room and say, “Hey, dude, there’s no need for—”

But before I can finish, Chad spins around and punches me in the face.

Nicole screams. Adam is stumbling back into the room, and every head at the party is turning in his direction. Chad’s taking a step toward him.

“Stop it!” Nicole yells and tries to hold him back. “Chad!”

He doesn’t seem to hear her. He pushes her away and she falls backward. If she weren’t so near the door and able to grab the handle, she would have been knocked to the ground.

Adam rises to his feet and looks up just in time to duck another blow from Chad. When I see the fist coming toward Adam, I wince, as if I’m the one about to be hit. But Adam doesn’t seem as shaken as I am. With surprising speed, he whirls on his feet so that he’s standing behind Chad and out of immediate danger. Chad rebalances after his punch and turns to sneer at Adam. Adam gazes at him calmly, but I see the vein on his neck pumping. He is in full fight mode, ready to react in a split second.

“You’ve had too much to drink, Chad,” Adam tells him in a level voice. “Why not just stay and let Nicole enjoy her party?”

Chad wrinkles his nose. “Don’t you tell me how to treat my girl,” he snaps. But he looks like some of the fight has gone out of him.

Adam just stares at him. I can feel the heat of his anger from here, but he keeps his face blank, controlled. “I wouldn’t have to,” Adam says in a low voice, “if you knew how to treat her already.”

I can’t help it: I gasp. There are a few chuckles around the room, and Chad tilts his head slightly. “You’d better mind your own business, buddy, or you’ll have another black eye in the morning.”

I look over at Adam, but I can’t see his far eye from my position. Does he really have a black eye? Does it happen that fast?

Adam doesn’t flinch. His face is still that blank calm. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at Chad.

Chad, who was trying to provoke a response, now shrinks a little under this silent treatment. Nicole seems to catch on to what is happening, and reaches for the door behind her. She catches eyes with me as a sort of good-bye, then turns to open the door. She’s running away from her own party.

“Fuck no,” Chad screams, and tries to reach past Adam to grab Nicole.

That was a mistake. Before he can touch her, Adam’s arm extends through the air silently. All I hear is a smack as his fist connects with Chad’s jaw. A line of blood splatters against the wall behind them, and Chad falls to the floor. Adam has knocked him out with one punch.

The room is silent. Nicole is no longer trying to get out the door. She’s looking down at Chad with about as much shock as everyone else in the room. Then, collecting herself, she takes a step around Adam and puts out her hand to shake. Adam looks down at it for a second in confusion, and then he takes it.

Nicole smiles at him. “Thank you, kind sir.” She looks over at me. “If you don’t want him, Erica, I’m next in line.” Adam blushes, and Nicole is already moving on as two of Chad’s friends drag him out the front door. He begins to regain consciousness, and seems a bit bewildered and dazed. He looks like a child that had no idea that anything could hurt him. Then he’s gone, with Nicole following to oversee his disposal.

As soon as he’s out, Adam’s posture changes. He turns to me with an embarrassed half-grin, and it’s now that I see his left eye.

“Ouch,” I say.

His eye is already swelling up and turning a ripe shade of purple. The bruise is a dark half-moon beneath it.

“Let’s get some ice on that,” I say, and he nods and follows me into the kitchen. Outside, I hear the stereo being turned back up. The party goes on.

I search through the drawers to find a Ziploc bag, then toss in a few ice cubes and wrap it in a dishtowel. “Here,” I say, holding it out to Adam.

He’s looking at me. His gaze is filled with incredible longing. It’s then I realize how deep his brown eyes look, like gazing through a dark woods. There’s so much about him that I don’t know. There’s so much there.

Then he glances down at the ice in my hand. Instead of taking it, he guides my hand to his eye, so that I’m holding it against his face. He keeps his hand lightly on my wrist, and we stare at each other.

“Is that okay?” I ask him, my voice barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” he says. “I feel great.”

My eyes drop to his lips, and my body reacts to the incredible closeness of his. I want him. I realize that I want him to take me and to do things to me right here. This thought should surprise me, embarrass me even. But it doesn’t. It feels right that we should be together.

But once again, we are interrupted.

“Well!” huffs Nicole, stomping into the kitchen. “
That
was something!”

I turn to her, taking a step away from Adam. He holds the bag to his own eye. “What happened?” I ask.

“A couple of the guys tossed Chad into the back of their truck, and they just left to take him home.” She gives a sly smile. “But not before I told him we’re through.”

“Thank goodness,” I say, and both of us crack up.

“Yeah,” agrees Nicole. “I mean, can you believe him? What was all that with the ticket? It reminded me of when my brother would demand to get presents on my birthday too. But he was seven at the time! Chad’s just an ass.”

Nicole quiets, her eyes flicking from Adam to me. Adam hasn’t said a word. At her glance, he gives her a friendly smile. From underneath his bag of ice.

“Oooh,” Nicole coos. “I’m
so
sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No problem,” Adam says.

Nicole looks at him as if considering something. Then she smiles. “Well, I’m going to follow the guys out to Chad’s. I want to return his car now so he doesn’t have a reason to come back.”

She smiles at me. At first I smile back, but when she turns to leave, my mood darkens.