Love Me? The Trust Me? Trilogy (33 page)

"You'll be fine, honey. Aiden will take good care of you," Mom says, hugging me gently.

I slowly ease myself into the car, this time sitting at the window seat, not in the middle next to him like I normally do.

Aiden hugs Mom and Sarah, and they both smile at him supportively when he gets into the car. He looks and notices me as far away from him as I can possibly get. He sighs and closes the door. Mike gets into the car and starts the engine, and we're off, back to the apartment. Aiden looks at me the whole ride home, but I keep staring out the window, not saying a word. The tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife. He puts his hand out on the seat between us. I think he's hoping for me to take it, but I shuffle as close as I can to the window.

We arrive at the apartment, and Mike opens my door for me. I slowly ease out of the car and move away from Mike as quickly as I can. He watches me with his brows creased.

"Miss Taylor, are you alright?"

I nod and walk to the elevator, not waiting for Aiden. He steps out of the car and makes his way over to me as I frantically push the button for the elevator. Finally, the doors open, and I step in, Aiden hesitantly follows while Mike watches me closely.

"It's good to have you back, Miss Taylor."

I nod in response. I move sideways in the elevator, away from Aiden as he continues his relentless staring at me.

"Stop it," I whisper.

His eyes widen. "Stop what?"

"Your relentless staring. It's making me uncomfortable."

He looks away from me and sighs. "Jeni, I—"

"Don't," I say loudly, stopping him mid sentence. He huffs and folds his arms as the doors open to the apartment. The table is still smashed, and the flowers are all over the floor. I gasp as I look into the room. He looks in and instantly rushes in to clean up the mess.

"I forgot Marissa is on vacation. I was so worried about you I stayed at the hospital and forgot to clean this up before you got here. I'm so sorry you had to see this again."

I don't say anything and walk past him to the bedroom.

I sit myself down on the bed as memories of Jason walking out of the elevator fill my mind. I start to shiver as Aiden walks into the bedroom. He stands in the doorway, blocking my way out. My breathing becomes shallow as he stares at me.

"I think we should talk," he says quietly, walking into the dark room. I freeze when he approaches me, and my breathing quickens as I start to shake. He senses my rising fear and stops walking, putting his hands up.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I never could." He walks around the other side of the bed and sits on the edge, opposite me.

"Jeni, talk to me, please?" he begs.

I look at him and feel the tears forming.

"Baby, don't cry. I want to help. What can I do? Tell me, anything, I'll do anything," he pleads with me as tears fall down my cheeks. He edges closer to me, and I flinch back. He pulls back and watches me closely. "Why don't you want me to touch you?"

"Because I'm afraid you'll hurt me," I whisper.

His body slumps as he realizes I'm scared of him.

"You're scared of me?" he asks, trying to understand the concept in his own mind. "Jeni, you have no reason to be scared of me. I love you, more than anything in this universe. I adore you. Don't you understand? I'd never hurt you, not ever." He edges closer to me on the mattress, I stand up and take a step away from him; he stands up, looking at me, his face full of pain and hurt.

"Aiden ... I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me," he whispers.

I shake my head as I back away from him. He walks around the bed and toward me while I keep stepping backward. My back hits the wall, and I freeze as he continues to walk up to me quickly. My breathing quickens as panic sets in.
Oh my god, he's going to hurt me.
I wince when he reaches me and pulls me to him in a massive bear hug. I scream against him and cry as he holds on to me tightly. I bang my fists against his chest, trying to escape his tight hold.

"Let me go,
" I yell as he holds on to me tighter.
"Let me go, let me go,"
I say struggling in his grasp. His knees give way, and we both fall to the floor. He starts to sob, distracting me from my fit. I hear him saying something as he starts to rock me back and forth.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," over and over again. I stop struggling and give in to the embrace, and he nuzzles into my neck.

"I can't lose you," he whispers into my ear. Tears stream down our faces. I gulp and he gently lets me go. I crawl away from him, and he stays stationary on the spot where I leave him. He looks broken. I've broken him. I swallow a lump in my throat while I cry uncontrollably.

"Why weren't you there?"
I yell at him, suddenly feeling an outburst of anger.

He looks at me. "Where?" He scratches his head, while his brows furrow.

"Here? When Jason came in, you were only going to be five minutes.
Why did you take so long? Why? Why didn't you protect me? You said you would never let anyone hurt me,
" I yell at him, and it hits me. I'm angry, angry with him for leaving when he did and not protecting me, and I realize that I think it's his fault. It's a revelation to both him and me.

"I keep asking myself the same question, baby. All I want to do is protect and love you and keep you safe, and I failed. I know I did. I'll take the rest of forever to make it up to you, to prove that I love you beyond a shadow of a doubt and that we belong together. You know it's true, don't you?"

I stand up and make my way past him and to the closet to get a suitcase.

He stands up and walks in behind me. "What are you doing?"

"I have to go. I can't stay here. There are too many memories, and I can't stay here with you. I'm too angry," I say piling my clothes into the suitcase.

He touches my arm, and I don't flinch. I turn around and stare into his eyes.

"You did this." I point to my face.

He gulps and shakes his head. "Jeni, Jason did that," he rebuts.

"Yeah, but you could've stopped it. This is your fault, Aiden, and I can't be with you."

He holds my arm softly. "Jeni, no!"

I shake my arm to push him off.

"Jeni, please," he begs.

I continue packing my suitcase. I take the suitcase and make my way to the en-suite. He follows me every step of the way.

"Jeni, c'mon, we can talk about this. You don't have to leave. I'll sleep on the sofa. Anything. Just don't leave me."

I sigh and shake my head. "I have to. I can't stay here."

"Then we'll go somewhere else. We can go on a vacation, just you and me, anywhere you want to go."

I shake my head as I pack my toiletries. "No," I respond simply.

He looks around the room, frantically searching for something to help him with his plight. "What about us? What does this mean?"

I shake my head.

"There is no us. I can't trust you." I move back into the bedroom and he follows like a lost puppy.

"Trust. We're back to you can't trust me?"

"Yes, I can't trust you. You weren't here when I needed you."

He shakes his head in disbelief. "I'm so sorry, and I wish I could've been there sooner. I don't even know why I took longer than five minutes, and I'll regret that for the rest of my life."

"Wishing never gets you anywhere. It doesn't change the fact that you weren't there."

"I'll always love you. Don't leave. Please, I can't do this without you," he says, his eyes full of tears.

"You'll have to learn how to," I say as I zip up my luggage and walk out of the bedroom.

He follows me to the elevator.

"I tried, Aiden. I did, but I can't bear to be near you at the moment, and I definitely can't be here."

"So there is hope then? You'll come back after you've had some time, won't you?" he begs.

I shrug. "I don't know. All I do know is I can't be with you right now."

"So maybe later on?"

I shrug again and I put the suitcase down on the floor. He exhales, and his eyes brighten as I step toward him. I take my engagement ring off and place it in his hand. He looks at the ring and then up at me. His breathing quickens as a tear runs down his face. His bottom lip starts to quiver and I close his hand over the ring, lean in, and kiss him on the cheek. I step back towards the elevator and press the button. Aiden stands staring at me as I enter.

"Goodbye, Aiden."

He drops to his knees, the sight breaking my heart as he clutches my ring and the doors start to close.

"Don't do this please. I love you. Jeni, do you still love me?"

"I do."

Coming soon

All of Me?

The Trust Me? Trilogy

All of Me? The Trust Me? Trilogy

Content is subject to change with publication.

Chapter 1

A clap of thunder cracks above me. The day is dark and dreary. I slowly sit up; my head is aching and foggy. I hear Sarah and Chris giggling away in the other room as I get out of bed and put on my robe. I walk from my room to the bathroom, and silence falls between Sarah and Chris when they see me. I ignore them and continue to the bathroom. I turn on the cold-water tap and splash my face, soothing my sore eyes from the crying that I've succumbed to. I look in the mirror. My face is still slightly bruised, my eyes swollen and red, and my hair a tangled, oily mess. I look terrible, but I don't care. I don't care about anything. Nor have I cared about anything since my ex, Jason, beat the living shit out of me because I wouldn't take him back.

I haven't seen or spoken to Aiden for the past week since I left him broken at the apartment. He's called me over fifty times, but I ended up turning my phone to silent. I try not to think about it, as I'm already in a depressed state, and thinking of him just makes life harder. I miss him. I miss him so much, but I can't be around him. I'm not strong enough.

I dry my face and walk to the dining room, where Sarah and Chris are eating lunch. They look at me and quickly turn away. I don't think they know what to say to me, so they say nothing. I walk to the fridge, open it and take out a jug of cold water, and pour myself a glass. I feel their eyes on me, watching me intently. I put the jug back into the fridge, walk with my cup to the living room, and sit on the sofa. I pull the little blanket over me. I drink the icy-cold water and sit, staring at nothing. Sarah eventually comes over and sits next to me. She puts her hand on my leg.

"I didn't think it would hurt this much," I mumble to her, catching her attention. Another rumble of thunder cracks above the house.

She puts her arm around me. "Jeni, sweetie, if it hurts this much, then maybe, if you search deep down, you know it's not right?"

I shake my head. "I can't be with him. I can't. I just..." I sputter then I start to cry.

"Okay, okay, it's okay, Jeni," Sarah says, stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For being like this. I can't seem to shake it."

She looks at me sympathetically. "Sweetie, take as much time as you need. You know Chris and I are here to support you, no matter what. We love you." Sarah holds me and I cry into her shoulder.

Sarah stays with me the whole time, and eventually my crying subsides. Poor Chris, he's probably sick of me occupying all her time, taking her away from him. He probably hates me by now; it wouldn't surprise me. I absolutely hate myself. The landline rings, which is very rare, making Sarah and I jump.

Chris answers it. "Hello? Hey, dude, how are you? Yeah, guessed as much. She ... um ... she's not that good. I don't think that's a good idea, not yet. I know, man, she's miserable too."

I swallow hard, knowing he's talking about me, and that it's probably Aiden on the phone.

"To be honest, I don't know. She's pretty wrecked. Yeah, I will. Look after yourself. You have my cell number if you need to talk, anytime. Yeah, man, I'll tell her. All right, see ya," Chris says and hangs up the phone.

Sarah looks back at Chris while I stare into nothingness.

"Jeni," Chris says.

I look at him, knowing what he's going to say.

"That was him. He said ... he said to tell you that he loves and misses you."

My stomach wrenches when Chris says the words. Tears well in my eyes again as images of Aiden on the floor clutching at my engagement ring flood my mind. I start to breathe heavily and I feel panic set it. Sarah notices what's happening. She pulls my face with her hands to look at her. I flinch, as it hurts my fractured eye socket.

"Jeni, this is ridiculous. You love him, and he loves you. What's the issue?"

"Sarah,"
Chris yells.

"No, she needs to wake up to herself; this is craziness, Chris. Jeni, why are you avoiding him?"

I sigh and shake my head. "Because he wasn't ... he wasn't there."

"Wasn't where, Jeni?"

"He left just before Jason did ... this." I point to my face.

"So, how exactly what it that he was supposed to know
that stupid, pathetic
son of a bitch
Jason would do this to you?
How is this Aiden's fault? Explain it to me, Jeni.
" Sarah yells, getting frustrated with me.

I look at her sternly. "It just is."

I get up and storm to my room, as quite fittingly another clap of thunder sounds. I slump down on my bed and curl up in a ball. I hear a knock at my door. I ignore it.

"Jeni?" I hear Chris say.

I look up at him and instantly feel relieved that it's not Sarah. "Come in," I say as I sit up on my bed. He sits down on the edge.

"Jeni, I know you blame Aiden for what happened, and I certainly see where you're coming from, but do you think you should talk to him? I can come with you if you don't feel comfortable going on your own. I think he needs to see you and hear whether you really want your relationship to be over or not."

I know Chris is making sense, and his offer of going with me is tempting.

"I know. I want to see him, but I'm afraid if I do then I'll give in and go running back into his arms."

"Is that such a bad thing?"