Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) (39 page)

“What’s this?” I ask Nova picking up the book on the side in the en-suite.

“It’s my new diary,” she replies from the bedroom.

I say nothing.

She walks back into the bathroom and takes it from me. “When I didn’t have my memories, I didn’t have my past, so I kept a diary. I checked it every day, against the previous entry and the date. I needed to know I hadn’t lost any more days. It was what scared me the most,” she tells me and I hug her, gently kissing the top of her head.

“As long as you don’t forget me. Or this,” I tell her grinding my rock hard cock against her stomach.

She giggles. It’s a sound I fucking love. Knowing I give that to her.

“Sometimes, when I think about my past, about forgetting, about losing all those years, I can’t believe how lucky I am that you still loved me. When I came back into your life and you realised, I didn’t know you…you could have moved on. Nobody would’ve blamed you for that. But you gave me my second chance with you. You wouldn’t give up on me. I guess I didn’t know at the time, hell…I didn’t even know
me
at the time, but looking back now I’m surprised you didn’t move on over those years. Get married. Have children.” There are no tears from Nova, but I can hear the emotion as her breath hitches.

“I can’t explain it, how much I love you, why nobody else ever compared. All I know is that I want to be everything you’ll ever need, because what I feel for you is all encompassing, it goes beyond the fabric I’m made from. When you weren’t around my life was black. It was okay, but it wasn’t beautiful. That’s what you are for me. You’re my light and as long as I have you by my side, loving me, then the darkness has no power.”

Nova rises to stand on her tip toes, but as she’s still a short arse, she has to pull me down to her, until she’s holding my face.

“You’re gonna have such good sex tonight big guy. All the dirty stuff,” she tells me winking and we both laugh.

“I love you, Nova.”

“I love you too, Dane. Thanks for finding the real me.”

It’s a crisp September morning, the day I bury my brother. I can feel Con’s arms around my shoulders, keeping my aging body warm from the wind. I have one hand fisted in my pocket while the other holds the tissue I use to repeatedly wipe my eyes. I wasn’t surprised the day Lottie called to tell me Dane was gone. I had watched him give up on everything once Libby lost her battle with cancer only two months ago. The doctor said he died from natural causes. That’s what they say when they have no medical reason. I know that he died from being heartbroken. He told me after she passed that he had lived without her for over ten years once, he wasn’t about to live that life again. His passing was what he wanted. It released him so he could be with her. I look up at the sky. I know they’re somewhere looking over the rest of us. Once again happy.

I feel sorrow at his passing, but not in the way most people would. The sorrow is there, but it’s surrounded by peace. They had a long, happy life, were married for what would have been thirty-nine years this Christmas. They had three beautiful children, who are now all grown. Charlotte Elizabeth—Lottie—their first, now thirty-seven herself. She has a loving family, her husband Harry and their fifteen-year-old twin boys Jase and Jonah. Dane and Libby’s twins, Max and James are thirty-two soon and have yet to settle down, living half the year in Dubai working on God knows what. Their girlfriends stand dutifully by their sides, crying softly.

I glance over to Eleanor and see her sobbing, luckily her husband Chase stands close much like Con with me and supports my big girl. She has always adored her uncles and aunts and to lose both Libby and Dane within two months has hit her hard, even at forty-one. My grandchildren Mollie, ten months and Charlie, who’s three, are with their dad’s parents today. My younger daughter Liv, stands on the other side of Con, burrowing into her dad, gaining his strength. Her cousin Isaac rubs his hand up and down her back.

Liv was a surprise for Con and I. We had Eleanor and that was enough, then when I was forty-four she came into our world. She’s nearly twenty-three now and still hasn’t settled down. She’s close to Soph and Saul’s kids, especially Isaac. After fostering for years, they finally wanted to adopt when three brothers came to stay at their house. What started as foster kids ended as their adopted children. Isaac was six, Tobias five, and Lawson was only eight months. Liv was nearly two by then and latched onto her new cousins easily.

I can see Saul and Soph clasping hands, this is hard for them, I can see it on their faces. Tobias supports his dad while Lawson holds his mum’s other hand. Rounding off our inner circle of family, all of whom surround the coffin as the priest talks, is Eric and Rich. Rich holds an arm around his husband as Eric quietly cries into his chest. As I have, many times over the years, I once again feel my heart swell with the love I carry for my family.

Our family has grown a lot and today we once again realise loss, but we will always be there for one another. Always holding each other up and loving each other unconditionally. Always remembering this is the family we chose, this is the family we wanted. These are the people that have got us through every obstacle we’ve faced. Together. If I went back to the beginning, I wouldn’t do a thing differently. I’ll love these people forever and I know they’ll love me. We have a fierceness that cannot be broken. It will never wither and die and we will pass that onto our children.

James Bay – Scars

Christina Aguilera – Bound To You

Ed Sheeran – Afire Love

A Great Big World – Say Something

Breaking Benjamin – Without You

Andrew Belle – In My Veins

Red- Never Be The Same

Demons – Imagine Dragons

Civil Twilight – Letters From The Sky

Jason Walker – If I Told You

Jason Derulo – Fight For You

Hozier – Take Me To Church

Maroon 5 – Animals

Guns N’ Roses – November Rain

Katy Perry – Unconditionally

Otis Redding – These Arms Of Mine

Breaking Benjamin – Dance With The Devil

Justin Timberlake – Until The End Of Time

I want to start as always by thanking my husband and daughters, for supporting me unconditionally. I love you.

To my Beta's – Beth Lemilliere, Kerry Adamson, Heidi Bocarisa, Stacey Tester, Donna Tutin, Giovanna Bovenzi Cruz, Sharon Dawson, Annmarie Thomson, Yvette, and Laura Jones. For reading my book chapter by chapter, giving me feedback, suggestions and guidance and loving my characters as much as I do. For supporting me wholeheartedly and believing in me but most of all, for just being my friends. <3

To Kelly O’Connor, Laurie Breitspreacher and Lucy Andrea Taylor, for reading the book once it was finished and your unwavering support. <3

To Maria’s Misfits - my Street Team. You have hopefully by now realised how important you all are to me seeing as this book is dedicated to you! I love you guys. As I’ve said before, you’re an absolutely amazing bunch of people. You support me tirelessly and I adore you! Thank you for making this so much fun and for bringing me up when I’m low.  Mainly, thank you for interacting and becoming friends with each other! I love you guys!
Thank you to Beth and Amanda, who always support me and keep my sanity in check (mostly).

A special thank you to Analia, Giovanna, Emma, Laurie and Penny from my Misfits, who pimp me constantly. Love you ladies!

To my Instagram family. Your support knows no bounds. You are all amazing and I hope one day we can all meet - sorry if I forget anyone!
 

Booksandbandanas – Yvette I seriously love your face!

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Francessca Webster from Francessca’s Romance Reviews, you rock!

Kaylene Osborn from Swish Design & Editing. Thank you for everything!

To every single blogger who has been willing to promote me in one way or another, I know how busy you all are. I know you take time away from family life to support authors. I think what you do is truly amazing. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lastly, thank you to all the readers who have taken, and will take a chance on me. You are the ones who will truly make my dreams come true.