Authors: Cecelia Ahern
Who?
Not
who
but
what
.
.
.
What
,
then?
Jack
Russell
the
Jack
Russell.
Oh
yeah
.
.
.
Next
time
I
see
him
I’m
going
to
wring
his
neck.
Oh
you
can’t
do
that.
I
can
do
whatever
the
hell
I
want
to
that
post-nicking
little—
He’s
dead.
The
postman
kicked
him
in
the
stomach
a
few
mornings
in
a
row
completely
by
mistake
(I’m
a
witness)
and
on
the
final
morning
he
did
it,
Jack
just
stopped
moving.
Alex:
Rosie:
Alex:
Rosie:
Alex:
A
bit
of
justice
in
the
world
after
all.
I’m
not
sorry
to
hear
that.
I’m
sorry
though
Alex.
Me
too.
Friends
again?
I
never
stopped
being
your
friend.
Me
neither.
Well
unfortunately
I
have
to
go
because
my
baby
is
pouring
his
breakfast
on
his
head
and
massaging
it
into
his
scalp
with
a
look
of
pure
concentration
on
his
face.
I
fear
it
may
be
nappy-changing
time
again.
Rosie:
Oh
no!
I
don’t
envy
you
that
job!
FOR
OUR
BEAUTIFUL
DAUGHTER,
WE
LOVE
YOU
WITH
ALL
OUR
HEARTS,
HERE’S
TO
A
NEW
YEAR,
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY,
ROSIE!
GOOD
LUCK
WITH
YOUR
EXAMS
IN
JUNE,
WE
HAVE
OUR
FINGERS
CROSSED
FOR
YOU.
LOTS
OF
LOVE,
MUM
AND
DAD
338
FOR
MY
SISTER,
Cecelia
Ahern
YOU’RE
FINALLY
CATCHING
ME,
ROSIE,
WHICH
I’M
GLAD
OF
BECAUSE
I
DON’T
WANT
TO
BE
THE
ONLY
ONE
NEARING
FORTY!
BEST
OF
LUCK
WITH
YOUR
EXAMS,
YOU
HAVE
TWO
MONTHS
TO
LEARN
IT
ALL,
YOU
CAN
GET
IT
DONE.
I’M
SURE
YOU’LL
FLY
THROUGH
THEM!
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY,
LOVE,
STEPHANIE,
PIERRE,
JEAN-LOUIS,
SOPHIA
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY,
MUM,
HOPE
YOU
LIKE
YOUR
PRESENT.
IF
IT
DOESN’T
FIT
YOU,
I’LL
HAVE
IT!
LOVE,
KATIE
TO
A
SPECIAL
FRIEND,
HAPPY
36TH
BIRTHDAY,
ROSIE,
I’M
WORKING
ON
A
NEW
EXPERIMENT
TO
SLOW
DOWN
TIME,
FANCY
JOINING
IN
WITH
ME?
ENJOY
YOUR
DAY
AND
I
HOPE
TO
SEE
YOU
SOON!
ALEX
TO
ROSIE,
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
AGAIN.
AFTER
THIS
CELEBRATION
THERE
WILL
BE
NO
MORE
DISTRACTIONS,
YOU
HAVE
TO
PASS
THESE
EXAMS
WITH
STRAIGHT
A’S.
YOU
CAN
DO
IT
AND
YOU’RE
MY
ONLY
HOPE
OF
GET-
TING
OUT
OF
HERE.
I’M
STILL
DREAMING
OF
THAT
JOB
AS
AN
ENTER-
TAINER
AT
THAT
FINE
HOTEL
OF
YOURS.
LOVE,
RUBY
You
have
an
instant
message
from:
ROSIE
Rosie:
16.
My
little
angel
is
16.
What
the
hell
am
I
supposed
to
do
now?
Where’s
the
rule
book?
love,
rosie
339
Ruby:
Why?
It’s
not
like
yesterday
she
was
2
years
old
you
know.
You