Love Through LimeLight (4 page)

“Don’t play dumb with me, Barry. I have friends at Peroig.
You should have known better; this is a small town and I work in the industry.”

“I…Fallon, I’m so sorry. Look, sometimes I get a certain
itch that can’t be scratched any other way. I’m not trying to hurt you, baby. I
just wanted to spare you the truth.”

I close my eyes, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “Do
you like it in the ass?”

“What?” I can tell that’s not what he expected.

Did he think I would get hysterical and scream at him? What
would that solve? How would that fix the situation? It wouldn’t and I know
that. Even though it’s hard, I force myself to stay calm. To keep logical.

“I’ll repeat myself,” I say in a voice that is steady and
even. “Do you like it in the ass?”

Barry gulps so loud I have to move the phone away from my
ear. He’s never heard me talk like this. I’ve never been so bold with him and
maybe that was part of our problem. We could have worked on it, if he had
bothered to come and talk to me. But trust goes both ways and it’s obvious to
me that he doesn’t trust me.

“Babe, I…yeah. Okay? Sometimes I like it in the ass.”

I swallow back my bitter laugh. “Well, if you had come to
me, we could have done that. I’ve worn strap-ons before and if you had given me
the chance, I would have been able to make you come like that too.”

He coughs hard and even through the phone I know his face is
beet red. I shake my head at how ridiculous the situation is. Suddenly I’m a
lot less sad about the loss of Barry. Now I see him as a pathetic, small man
who couldn’t just be honest. Is being true to yourself really that scary? Maybe
for weak, insignificant people.

“Fallon, I—”

“Don’t bother.” I cut him off. “It’s bad enough that you
lied to me. That you snuck around behind my back and that you
cheated
on
me. I would have never forgiven you for that. But to top it all off, you’re
being fucked by guys and then coming back to me and kissing me.”

Barry starts crying. Some big, tough biker guy he is. I roll
my eyes. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cheat on you. I thought other guys
wouldn’t count.”

What a bunch of shit. If that were true he wouldn’t have
tried to cover it up. “Whatever. It’s over. We’re through. You should be
grateful that I’m not putting you on blast, but I know how devastating that can
be to a person. Just remember that, Barry, when you are doubtlessly approached
by trashy magazine representatives trying to get dirt on me.”

My threat reads loud and clear and Barry’s crying dries up
into soft sniffling. “This is why I was afraid to tell you, Fallon. You’re
cold. You used to be such a warm, sweet person. I watched you on
Cheer
Battle
. You used to think the best of people and now you’ve got an icy
heart. What happened to you?”

Even though I give no indication that his words affected me,
it hurts more than I’d like to admit that he would compare me to the old
Fallon. That Fallon came before the gossip, before being used by the evil porn
industry and lied about by the corrupt mainstream media. That was before she’d
been betrayed by almost everyone she ever trusted.

“People like you happened, Barry. Goodbye.”

I hang up with a click and fight the urge to throw my phone
against the wall. Exhaustion beats at me. The kind of soul-deep sadness that
won’t go away with a hot bath and a tub of ice cream. I’m so tired of the way
this world seems to work and of not trusting anyone. I just want to be happy.

I drag myself to bed and throw myself against my silk
sheets. I don’t bother to get undressed and the supple material slides against
the fabric of my jacket. I should take it off but I can’t muster enough energy
to care.

I bury my face in one of my pillows and suddenly tears and
screams explode from my face. I muffle the sounds of my frustration and
sorrows, letting my emotions run their course.

The room is dark by the time I move again. I must have
fallen asleep there in my tear-soaked pillow. I roll over, feeling drained but
not wanting to sleep. I know what I’ll dream of. I’ll dream of a happy,
fulfilled life. A life where I can spread my wings as a successful business
woman but also get all that I need just as a
woman
. I’ll dream of a man
who can handle my busy schedule and my high-octane sex drive. A man who wants
me more than seems possible.

My own prince.

My mind drifts back to Johnni and Kyle. That. I want that. A
man who wants me so badly that he is ready to skip the socially accepted steps
and drown in just being with me. Who is all-in from the beginning and would do
anything, give anything, to be with me.

That’s what I deserve. I’ve been through hell trying to
establish myself in every avenue of my life. I’ve had to fight, scratch and claw
for every inch I have gained. Is it too much to ask for one aspect that is
just…stable? Perfect.

I bite my bottom lip, looking at the ornate crucifix I have
hanging above my bed. It’s a modern design, not gaudy or loud but obviously a
symbol of my faith. I believe that God is in all things and that if I wait
patiently, He will show me my course and fulfill all my needs.

The crucifix is there to remind me of that…and it does.

I roll back over on my side, forcing my breathing to even
out. I know that if I continue to work hard and have faith that I will
ultimately find the peace. I will find exactly what makes me happy, what makes
me whole. And I will make it mine because I have earned that.

I just have to be patient for a little while longer.

I drag my pillow closer to my chest after I shrug out of my
clothes. I would normally get up and fold them, but this time I decide it will
be okay if I let the maids deal with it. My eyes drift shut and I settle in for
the night. Tomorrow will be a better day.

When I get back to the office, the first thing I realize is
that there are doughnuts in one of my conference rooms. I have an important
Skype call in less than ten minutes, and the huge conference table is covered
in icing and crumbs. I grit my teeth and look back over my shoulder at the
reception desk. Of course Arianna isn’t there. The phones are ringing off the
hooks and she’s probably in the bathroom smoking, something I’ve told her a
hundred times not to do.

I keep from lashing out and start to focus on a solution. I
make quick work of cleaning up the mess and prepare for the meeting by myself.
None of the notes that I need laid out are prepared. The presentation slides I
need uploaded to the screen are still not available. I scramble to get it all
done, hitting the Call button just as my alarm begins to sound.

An hour and a half later, I leave the conference room in a
great mood. Despite the lack of preparations, I nailed the proposal and wowed
the executives of the companies I wanted to merge with on a few projects. I’ve
found that business isn’t nearly as challenging as it’s made to seem. Really,
it’s all about giving people what they want and making sure you get something
out of the deal.

It’s a lot like sex, which I am damn good at.

Maybe that’s why I’m such a natural when it comes to
building my brand and expanding my empire. I love to make people happy, even if
they are old, frumpy men who begin every conversation while looking down their
noses at me. I learned a lot about these power-hungry men during my time as a
Sugar Baby. All they really need is for someone to flash them a pretty smile
and tell them no.

I have them all wrapped around my little finger.

My reception room is no longer empty when I step into it.
Two men I have never met before, dressed in shabby street clothes, are spread
out over my expensive couches with their feet up on my coffee tables.

Arianna is laughing with them but when I clear my throat she
is quick to move back. “Fallon. You’ve met Chazz and Jeoffry Wheeler, right?
Their father is Paul Wheeler.”

I cringe. Paul Wheeler is a small-time business owner who
manages several ghetto clubs in bad neighborhoods. I’ve run into him a couple
times at charity functions. He is a snake-like, slimy guy who is always looking
to further his agenda by throwing someone else under the bus. I wouldn’t be
surprised if he is also pushing drugs.

He is not the kind of man I want to be associated with in
any of my businesses. Just having his sons in the same room as me makes me feel
like I need to take a hot shower. Even so, I have to be professional.

I offer each of them a pointed stare and glance down at
where their feet rest on my magazines and books. They drop their feet like
guilty children, loudly slamming the soles of their shoes against the ground.
“No, we haven’t met before. It’s a pleasure, gentlemen.”

They mumble unintelligent responses and I have to fight the
urge to roll my eyes. I look over at Arianna and she’s either oblivious to how
unhappy I am at the situation or she doesn’t care. She continues chattering.
“…so I thought you might want to talk to them about the real estate options.”

I frown. I wasn’t listening to what she said but I know that
I don’t like where this conversation is going. “I’m sorry but I think there’s
been a miscommunication here. Any properties I have are being leased by a
select group of individuals. Unfortunately, I don’t have any vacant real estate
options at this time.”

Arianna opens her mouth, doubtlessly ready to contradict
what I’m saying but I give her a look that would silence a rabid dog. The
brothers don’t seem to notice the exchange and one of them stands to offer me
his hand. “We completely understand. Thank you for agreeing to see us without
an appointment, at any rate. Should anything change, don’t hesitate to drop me
a line. Thanks again.”

I nod, surprised by how elegant his exit is. He must be used
to being told no on a regular basis. Suddenly, I feel foolish for jumping to
conclusions. Isn’t that exactly how people treated me when I first wanted to
branch out?

“Wait, just a moment.” I call after them. The man—Chazz, I
think his name is—stops just as he pulls open the door. He turns and waits for
me to walk to him. I hand him a card. “Call me next week and we’ll set up a
proper meeting. I would love to hear what you have in mind.”

Chazz grins at me, and I get the distinct feeling that he
knows exactly what went through my mind just a few minutes ago. He and I might
just be cut from the same cloth, and I can really respect someone who is eager
to make change in his life.

“You got it. Thanks again.”

I nod and close the door behind him and his brother. When I
turn around, Arianna is basically bouncing from foot to foot. “That went so
great! I knew you would like him as soon as I met him. Did you check out his
ass? I bet he can do squats for hours.”

Arianna giggles and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She
brought both of them in for such a stupid reason? This is a business, not a
dating service. I open my mouth to respond to that but close it without saying
a word. Arianna looks mildly confused when I walk past her and head for my
office.

I come back less than two minutes later with a packet I have
already prepared. Truth be told, I prepared it weeks ago and have been torn
between using it and throwing it out. I give it to her in a motion that speaks
of confidence I didn’t know I had until right then.

“What’s this? Tickets to something?” Arianna turns it over
in her hand, prepared to rip open the envelope.

“It’s your severance packet and a copy of the non-disclosure
you signed, in case you’ve forgotten the legalities of ceasing your employment
here.”

Arianna’s dumb smile stays plastered on her face, and it’s
painfully clear that she doesn’t understand what is happening. I decide to help
her out a little bit and head to the utility closet where we keep all of our
office supplies. I give her a big white box. “Please empty your desk. You can
carry all of your stuff out in this.”

That does it. Arianna’s eyes go wide and fill with tears.
She opens her mouth and I hold up my hand. “Don’t. Seriously, don’t even
bother. I could fire you based on just what has happened today. You failed to
prepare the notes for my meeting. You left the conference room a mess. You
invited people in for a business meeting without consulting me and in the
process you potentially gave out sensitive information. Which, by the way, is
illegal according to the contract you’re holding. Just get out. Quietly. Leave
and this won’t have to get ugly.”

Arianna’s mouth closes slowly and without another word she
heads toward her desk and empties it of all of her personal belongings. I have
no doubt that she would have either stolen or broken something on her way out,
had I not be standing right there. Instead, she makes her way to the door
without even looking at me again.

When she closes the front door, I woodenly walk around the
office and turn off of the main lights. Then I lock the door and sit down
carefully on one of my couches. Laughter bubbles out of me before I can stop
it. It swells in my throat and spills out of my mouth in huge guffaws.

It feels so good that I let it build and build until the
entire space is echoing with the sound of my mirth. I imagine that if anyone
else saw me right now, they would think I’m crazy. But I don’t feel crazy.
Stressed, worried about replacing my assistant, and tired of being beaten down,
yes. But I don’t feel crazy.

Instead, I feel strangely empowered. Like Arianna was one of
the last vestiges of the old me. The me who cared more about people’s asses
than what was in their head. The me who didn’t think one missed deadline was
the end of the world.

I am growing. As a woman and as a person.

And that is a good thing. I lean back against my couch in
the dark, grinning like a fool even though I have an insane amount of work that
needs to be completed today. I feel liberated.

And I have myself to thank for that. No one else.