Lover of My Dreams (61 page)

“The years have been hard on both of us, Rachel, but don’t ever doubt that you were in my thoughts and were tucked in my heart. When I saw you again at the campground, all the old memories of you and the times we shared came back full force. I thought I could keep things under control and step back to give you the freedom that you deserved, but life seemed to keep throwing you into my arms.”

Rachel’s eyes were staring up at him with guarded feelings of hope and desire. She was afraid to talk. She didn’t want to interrupt what he was finally admitting to her.

“I kept trying to keep you away from me, but that stopped the minute you sat and had dinner with me in my camper the second day you were in the campground.” He was dead serious as he spoke to her. “You hold a place in my heart that no one else could ever have. When I think of you, or dream of you, you are all woman, and you are mine.”

There was a huskiness to his voice as he spoke, and he could see the flicker of something ignite in Rachel’s eyes as he finally opened his heart and spoke his feelings for her. He did nothing more than tell her the truth.

“Please forgive me. I should have told you how I really felt. If I had let my guard down and told you how much you meant to me and how much I loved you, Allison’s words would never have convinced you that I only wanted you to give me children. I love you, Rachel. I love you as my friend, my wife, and my lover. So much that my heart hurts—because I lost you.” He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled something out to grip it in his hand tightly. “One more thing.” He opened his hand, palm up. “This belongs to you.”

Rachel looked at the wedding band that she had worn what seemed like forever ago. She wanted to reach out and take it, but she was afraid.

“Please take it, Rachel,” Sam whispered to her. “And take me with it.”

Sam watched her silently, seeing the indecision in her eyes. He could tell that she was battling with her thoughts. An eternity passed and his heart hurt when she made no move toward him. He almost closed his hand in defeat when she reached forward hesitantly to take the ring from his hand. He watched in silence as she placed the ring on the third finger of her left hand and brought it to her mouth to kiss it tenderly.

He reached out to her, and she came into his arms willingly. He had to hold himself back as he covered her lips with his own and kissed her with deliberate caution, waiting for her to return the warmth and tenderness that he offered her. He groaned when she moved her lips against his, hesitantly licking at them with her tongue. He pushed her back against the bed and deepened his kiss, glorying in the urgency that her lips returned against his. His hurt and loneliness was easing. He felt a surge of relief in his chest. He had to pull back from her to laugh in relief.

“I do love you, Rachel. With all my heart,” he whispered, suddenly very intent in the words he had to tell her.

He looked down at her so seriously that Rachel’s heart began to pound in anticipation. He reached out and touched her face lovingly. She drew him to her and hugged him tightly. He kissed her tenderly as if she would break if he loved her too hard. His hands caressed her back as he held her to him tenderly. His kiss remained gentle, but she could feel the pounding of his heart against her chest as he held her so tightly to him.

He pulled back and reached up with both hands to hold her face tenderly within his hands, gently weaving his fingers into her hair to hold her beautiful face as he leaned forward to kiss her once again. He pulled back slightly, his lips just a fraction of an inch from her mouth. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her lips.

“Please don’t ever leave me again,” he whispered against her mouth. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

Rachel looked up at him as he stared into her eyes. His own eyes were glistening with tears as he looked down at her, and her love for him swelled.

“I’m feeling that I want to make love to you, husband,” she whispered, smiling shyly.

Sam smiled and let go of her briefly to wipe away the tears from his eyes. He reached down and held her hand tenderly, bringing it to his mouth and kissing her wedding ring gently.

“See how much better things are when you tell me what you’re feeling?” he teased, reaching forward to take her into his arms once again.

Rachel laughed as he held her. She kissed his mouth slowly, her lips light against the warm wetness of his. She caressed his face lightly, reacquainting herself with the pure joy of touching him. Sam lay beside her with the rumpled blankets bunched between them. They annoyed him, and he wanted to push them aside so he could pull her against his body.

“I’ve missed you, Sam.”

Her voice made him hesitate. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. He sighed as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“You can’t imagine how empty I’ve felt without you with me,” he whispered honestly.

Rachel let him go suddenly and he allowed her to pull away from him. He didn’t know what she needed to do, but he wasn’t going to stop her. He wanted to work everything out tonight so they could begin their lives together without any questions or fears. He watched her as she sat up beside him to kneel on the bed. He faced her, worried by the serious look on her face.

“Sam,” Rachel whispered, pulling the thickness of her robe around her legs as she tucked it beneath her body.

“What?”

“I need to know something.”

Sam looked up at her and waited. He reached up, brushed her hair back from her face and touched her cheek gently with the knuckles of his right hand.

“What?” he whispered.

“If we couldn’t have children, would you hate me?” she asked him, looking down at him to see the truth when he answered her.

He hesitated a moment while the question worked its way into his mind, knowing he had to be true to his feelings. There was no contest. This woman had captured his heart and he couldn’t stand to be apart from her. Nothing else mattered.

“Rachel, I would be disappointed if we couldn’t have children, but I could never hate you for it. I want to be with you and love you for the rest of my life. With or without children, I want us to make a life together.”

He watched her face and saw that she was thinking over his words. He could tell she wasn’t truly convinced.

“It could be my fault, too, you know,” he told her quietly.

“What could?” she asked, confused.

“Us not being able to have a baby,” he explained. “Would you hate me if I was the reason we couldn’t conceive?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” she told him honestly. “I would be disappointed, but I could never hate you.”

Sam smiled and touched her leg gently. When Rachel reached out and caressed his face, he was lost to her. He knelt before her on the bed, pulling her closer toward him. Very slowly, he began to unbutton the long row of buttons on the front of her oversized robe. By the time the last button was released, his excitement was barely containable.

“I love you, Rachel,” he whispered as he leaned forward and kissed her neck, nuzzling into her and breathing in the scent of her. God, he missed her.

Rachel smiled, her heart light at the words that he spoke so sincerely. She reached up to stop his hands as he began to push the robe from her shoulders.

“Sam, I have to tell you something,” she whispered, leaning up to kiss his lips lightly and pulling back before he could crush her to him.

“I’m listening,” he whispered.

“Lie down next to me first,” she told him, pulling at his hand to guide him down onto the bed beside her.

Sam followed willingly, allowing her to settle herself comfortably. He leaned up on his left arm to look down at her as she lay on her back beside him. She looked positively glowing. She radiated happiness, and he knew that he had to be mirroring her exact feelings.

“Okay, what?” he asked, leaning forward to kiss her forehead gently. He leaned back and watched as Rachel reached for him.

Very slowly, pushing her robe aside, she took his right hand and guided it across her hip to rest it lightly on her belly. His gaze followed the path his hand was taking. When he felt the definite bulge beneath his hand he nearly forgot to breathe. Her abdomen was very round and very hard to his touch. She was carrying his child. At least five months along, he figured by his quick calculations. He could hardly believe that he hadn’t noticed it before. Between her fluffy robe hiding her shape and his attention directed at her face in order to judge her emotions, he had totally missed spotting her pregnancy.

Rachel pushed his hand gently against her stomach, feeling total joy that his large hand was covering their baby. “Sam,” she spoke softly.

“Rachel,” he whispered, looking up at her in awe.

“I’m pregnant,” she told him, smiling.

“I know,” he whispered, stroking his hand across the baby that was growing inside his wife’s womb. His heart slammed against his chest as he realized that he knew the exact moment when their child had been conceived. He remembered every touch, every moan, and every feeling they had shared during their time together that had resulted in the creation of this wonderful life inside of Rachel.

He looked at her with such tenderness and love, Rachel knew no better moment. Tears of happiness filled his eyes. She watched him lean forward and kiss the swelling of her abdomen gently.

“Hello, baby,” he whispered against her belly happily.

Rachel smiled down at him, touching his soft black hair as he spoke to his child. Tears slipped from her eyes as she saw the happiness and awe on his face as he tenderly caressed her body. He kissed her belly once again then trailed kisses up her body until his mouth once again met hers.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, taking her into his arms and holding her tightly against his body.

“Are you glad about the baby?” she whispered.

Sam’s blue eyes sparkled with tears as he lifted his head to look at his wife. He reached down to touch her belly and smiled at the beautiful changes that had already happened to her body.

“Yes. Are you?” he whispered.

“Very much.”

Rachel smiled as Sam reached up to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye. She loved him so much. She touched his face tenderly and smiled when he closed his eyes with pleasure at her touch and turned into the palm of her hand.

“Thank you for such a beautiful gift, sweetheart,” he whispered against her hand.

She stared into his eyes for a moment, seeing the total happiness there. “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with us, and no one else?” she asked him seriously.

“Absolutely,” he answered without hesitation. “You will never have cause to question me ever again.”

Rachel reached out and took Sam’s hand in hers, then brought it to her swollen belly. Sam looked down at her and smiled at the contact of his hand over their growing child.

“We believe you,” Rachel told him, pushing his hand against her belly to feel the slight butterfly movement of his life inside of her.

Sam gasped and leaned up to stare at his hand on her abdomen. He waited a moment until the movement stopped then leaned down to kiss her belly tenderly. He looked up and covered her body carefully with his then kissed her long and deep, caressing her body as he held her tightly in his embrace.

“How do you feel, Rachel?”

“I feel fine. I’m just tired.”

“Do you like being pregnant?”

“Most of the time,” she answered, laughing softly.

“Do you want to be my wife again?” he asked her seriously, his gaze intent and serious as he looked down at her.

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Please.”

Rachel looked up into his eyes and saw the love that she hoped for. There was no choice but to say yes. He had captured her heart.

“I would love to,” she whispered.

He smiled, relieved, and kissed her lips lightly. “I want to make love to my wife,” he whispered, his breathing a little ragged.

A seductive smile lightened her face as she reached out to pull at his sweater. He leaned back to ease the effort and smiled when the sweater hit the floor beside the bed. His black T-shirt soon followed, baring his chest to her gaze and her caressing hands.

His breath hitched in his throat when she leaned forward to kiss his chest and her hands found the sensitive areas beneath his arms. When her mouth covered his nipple and licked seductively, he thought he would die from the pure pleasure of enjoying her touch once again. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him when she bit down gently.

“I need you naked, now,” he nearly growled down at her.

He pulled at her robe, pushing it from her body gently, then leaned down and grabbed the hem of her nightgown to slowly pull it up the length of her torso. His hands followed the contours of her hips, her waist, and her breasts as he pushed the annoying barrier of flannel over her head and away from their bodies. He saw her reach for the sheet to pull over her nakedness and captured her hand in his to halt her movement.

“Don’t, honey,” he whispered. “I want to see all of you.”

“Sam,” she whispered nervously. “I’m embarrassed.”