Loving the Senator (Capitol Affairs #1) (21 page)

The house sat at the end of a long winding driveway and backed up to a wooded area. The driveway must have been half a mile long, lined with beautiful green trees leading up to the gambrel styled beach house. The house was white and in need of a new paint job. The porch wrapped around the entire house that was up against the ocean.

The house was as picturesque as I had I imagined. The pictures of it didn’t do it justice. The vacations and parties that must’ve gone on there had to have been spectacular. The beach came right up to the back of the house hugging the small yard that had a fire pit and a torn volleyball net.

When I let myself in, I was surprised at how clean and well kept it was. Someone stacked firewood in a neat pile next to the fireplace. The furniture was all polished and dusted. Everything was clean and inviting.

Placing my suitcase on the steps to the second floor, I heard waves lapping up to the shore, and it was a wonderful and relaxing sound. The house was amazing with its white furniture and dark wood floors. It was decorated with old rustic furniture and old signs. I could live here all year round and never get tired of it. The kitchen was set up with a coffee pot, and everything I needed for a few days. I took a peek inside the refrigerator that someone had stocked it with my favorite food and drinks.

I took the big steps upstairs to the second floor, where I found not one, but six bedrooms and two baths. One bathroom was furnished with a shower and a huge claw foot tub with a window overlooking the ocean. I couldn’t wait to get in it and use the oils, scented candles, and wine that had been left for me. Toby thought of everything.

But I didn’t want to stay indoors just yet, so I grabbed a book from my bag, poured myself a glass of wine, and went to start a fire in the fire pit.

I sat on the couch, allowed myself to take in the sounds and smell of the beach, and for a few moments, almost forgot how sad and empty I was. After a couple of glasses of wine, my eyes became heavy. Between worrying and not having Alex’s body next to me at night, I had not slept well since the fundraiser. After I finished the entire bottle of wine and cried, I managed to fall asleep.

I woke up confused about where I was, fully dressed, and still outside on the couch. The fire must have gone out sometime during the night and it was freezing. When I tried to stand, my head and neck throbbed in pain. I dragged my aching body upstairs to the shower before sightseeing. As the water pounded me, my stress began to melt away. I stayed in there for about a half hour, letting the hot water relax me. My body longed for Alex, and when thoughts of him and what we had done in the shower were too much, I got out. In my favorite robe, I lay down on the bed, and cried myself to sleep.

The cold air in the cottage woke me from a deep sleep. I wrapped a blanket around myself and trudged downstairs to start another fire. I was actually hungry for once and in need of a strong cup of coffee. I found a can of soup in the cupboard, warmed it up on the stove, and brewed some extra strong Italian roast. It was just what I needed to calm my nerves and settle my stomach.

It was already too late to go into town for the second day, so I just sat on the porch, read, and listened to the waves hit the shore—the perfect therapy. I had never been someone who needed to be around a lot of people all the time. When I was a little girl, my mom would leave me alone for days. Eventually, I learned to enjoy the stillness of being by myself.

Sleep overtook me once again as I lay on the back porch and tried to read. My eyes got heavy and before I knew it, morning had arrived bringing rolling clouds and a terrifying sky. Storms were definitely on the way.

I wanted to go and walk around and get a feel for life on the Cape. Instead, I sipped my coffee while watching the storm come. It was quite an amazing sight, seeing the massive power of Mother Nature up close. She had no mercy on the ocean as the waves overpowered the shore.

After the storm passed, the sun came out, and I headed to town in a golf cart. I somehow started it up, and with a little sputtering and stalling, I got her moving down the road. Everyone was friendly as I parked and made my way down the sidewalk, browsing and taking in the historic town. Each shop I went into was just as unusual and exquisite as the next with things I couldn’t find anywhere else. Listening to my stomach beg for food, I decided to stop at a little diner that was known for their crab salads. That sounded heavenly to me, and I ordered that and a piece of pecan pie remembering it’s Alex’s favorite. As I pushed thoughts of Alex aside, I ate like a beast, shoveling in the salad in huge mouthfuls. Catching up on sleep and a change of scenery seemed to revive my appetite.

People crowded the streets, going to and fro completely unaware of my inner turmoil. There were couples holding hands and single people hurrying around, perhaps on their lunch hour. An elderly couple made their way into the restaurant and I watched in awe of how attentive the man was to his wife. He held the door open and helped ease her into the booth, as they sat and ate and said not one word to each other. Everything they needed to say, they said with their eyes. So in tune with one another, words were not necessary. Again, my thoughts turned to Alex. When the husband noticed me staring; he looked up, waved to me, and smiled.

I waved back. “Good afternoon.”

“It’s always a good afternoon when she and I are together.”

The wife turned around, smiled, and waved at me.

“Are you alone, dear?”

“Yes, well, no I have someone, but I needed to get away and think.”

“Oh, I know what that’s like. I was without this man here for three days once, and I thought I would go out of my mind. Do you feel like that while you’re apart?” she asked

“Like crazy,” I said, smiling back at her and wanting to cry.

“Then you better tell him. I almost let this one get away, and I reeled him back in. I have had sixty-seven wonderful years with this man. Nothing is more important than love, dear. No career, money, or things. Go get him before someone else does, honey,” she smiled again.

Her husband winked at me and nodded his head.

“Thank you,” I said, now with huge tears falling down my cheeks. The woman got up, walked over, and hugged me.

I headed back to the house and thought about what that little sweet lady had said to me. She couldn’t possibly know the pain of what Alex had done. The pain of knowing he’d almost fathered another woman’s child. That if he had, that if Stella had carried that baby to term, that Alex and I would never have been together.

Happy to be back at the house, I turned on the old radio and found a station I would love. With 50s music playing, I grabbed a bottle of wine, a glass, and headed up to the bath. I filled the tub up with steaming hot water, got in, and just melted. I put my head back, listened to The Platters, and sipped the cold wine while looking out on the ocean. Soon, I drifted off thinking about Alex.

I woke in a cool bath, missing Alex like crazy. But it wasn’t as simple as the old woman had made it out to be. I couldn’t just forgive him and go running back to him. I needed more wine to take my mind off the pain. I’d give it one more night before I made any decisions. Besides, it was too late now anyway. The only thing I could do was lock up the house and settle in for the night. When I walked to the front door, I jumped, not expecting what I saw. There was a man standing on the porch.
 

Chapter Twenty-Two

My heart leapt into my throat before I could speak.

“Wwww-hat are you doing here?” I asked and pulled my robe tight around my neck as if that would protect me from the wetness building between my legs.

“Beulah and Toby sent me. They were worried about you and so was I. I needed to see you, Prudence. I can’t go another day without you,” he said, looking sullen and lonely.

“I don’t understand. I told them I needed to get away and think, and they send you here? You are the reason I needed to get away.” I stood taking in the sight of him standing in front of me. I wasn’t ready to see him. To talk to him. To need him. He looked beautiful and rugged in his dark jeans, black, designer V-neck sweater, and. leather biker jacket he liked to wear on the weekends.

God, I’d forgotten forgot how gorgeous Alex was. Hair gelled back and face covered in scruff, he looked like my Alex, only thinner with darker and sadder eyes.

“Can I come in? I need to touch you and talk to you. Will you let me? I need you more than anything, Prudence. I can’t sleep, think, or work. I don’t remember the last time I ate, and I’m just glad the senate is not in session right now, or I would have had to resign.”

“I don’t know if I want you to,” I said, through the screen door, unsure of how convincing I was at that moment. I needed Alex’s touch as much as he needed to touch me. But, I couldn’t let him. That would be too easy.

“Look at me, I’m suffering. I’m sorry. I can’t take you shutting me out. I need to make love to you, Prudence. I need
you
,” he said.

“I came here to get away from you, Alex. I need to think about everything that happened. I’m still upset you lied to me about Stella.”

The tears came to my eyes as I thought about him with her. Thought about him touching her, needing her, coming for her. Making a baby with her. I hated myself for being jealous of a woman who miscarried a baby at three months in utero and who went mad from the grief. I hated myself for wanting him now. For responding to him now, my cunt getting even hotter.

“Please let me in so we can talk. I came all this way to see you. I know I hurt you. That keeping this from you hurt you. I lied and I’m sorry. Damn it, Prudence. If I could change it, I would. I’m sorry for all of it. For pushing you away, not telling you about Stella, making you wait for me all this time. Prudence, open the door. Let me back into your life.”

“Why do you love me, Alex?” I asked. I still wasn’t convinced he deserved to be let into the house, or back into my life.

“You are everything in my life that is good and wonderful. Nothing else matters, Prudence. You know the real me, not the wealthy senator. You knew me before all of this. I tried to make it work with other women. But they’re not you.”

“I’m no good for you, Alex. I will just hurt your career. This past life of mine is never going to go away. It will always be there, and it will do more damage to you than me. There will always be some idiot around to make trouble because of me. You don’t need to be associated with drugs and AIDS. I love you too much to let my past ruin what you’ve worked so hard for.”

“You are why I’m a senator. Do you remember that night I was over at the house, and your mom out? We were watching television and the President came on, and I said I wanted his job one day. You told me that you could picture me doing that. You said, ‘Alex, I can see you up there one day giving that speech.’ I never forgot that, and that is what I kept in the back of my mind when I decided to run for the senate. ” He shoved his hands into his pockets.

My beautiful Alex was crying because he needed me and loved me. I loved him so much my heart broke watching him.

“Alex,” came out barely above a whisper.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore and I will go. You won’t have to see me again. If you can't get past this, I understand. I should have told you. I’m sorry. I panicked at the thought of losing you. Fuck, Prudence, before you, I was lonely and unfulfilled. You will have my heart forever, whatever you decide.” He put his hand up on the doorframe and hung his head. I saw the tears drop down.

I unhooked the lock on the screen door; he rushed in and grabbed me in his arms. I kissed him with such force it hurt. His tongue drove inside my mouth searching and begging. I stopped him.

“We can talk more later. I have gone two weeks without you; I can’t breathe unless you are inside of me,” I said, in between his nearly violent kisses.

The floor come out from under me, as he lifted me and carried me upstairs to the bedroom. I nuzzled my face into his neck smelling him, and tasting his skin.

“Which room?” he asked. He held me in his arms as tears streamed down his face and onto me.

“Pick one,” I moaned.

He kicked the door open to one of the rooms and laid me on the bed. The room I’d slept in was the one he chose. The sound of ocean waves coming in on the shore filled the room. A breeze blew in, but did little to cool my hot body. The hunger I had for him at that moment was intense. He took off his coat, sweater, and t-shirt while kissing me. I grabbed on to him, trying to keep him next to my body. He removed my robe and lay across me. He pressed his hot still half-clothes body against me as I tried to unbutton his pants. He shook his boots to the floor one-by-one. I pulled his pants down as far as I could and then he kicked them off the rest of the way. I wanted his boxers off too. I pulled them down, and watched as his cock stuck out, hard and waiting. I just wanted every part of him. I needed him so badly it hurt.

Alex consumed me with his mouth like he was starving. Nothing else mattered. His beard scratches were so sensual on my sensitive skin. His tongue explored me, as he kissed my lips and neck and then worked his way down to my hard nipples. He sucked on each one until I cried out.

“Prudence, I love you more than anything. You are my life,” he said. He snuggled his head into my neck and breathed me in as the tears kept coming from both of us. Hearing him say my name like that, sent a burning ache through my body, as I kissed the warm, salty tears from his eyes.

“Make love to me, Alex. I need you now.”

“God, Prudence.” Instead of plowing inside me, he explored all of me with his hands, like he had to relearn what my body felt like and how to touch it. He caressed my hips, thighs, and calves. He even rubbed my feet before running his hands back over my body. He licked his fingers and put them inside me as he closed his eyes.

“You are so wet and ready aren’t you? You are always wet for me. That’s how I want you forever.” His fingers opened me up, but they weren’t satisfying me and I had to have him.