Mackinnons #02 For All the Right Reasons (38 page)

“It’s me. Alex.”

“What do you want?”

She could hear him sigh through die door. “Do I have to want something to knock at your door?”

“You’d look pretty stupid going around knocking on doors for no reason at all.”

“I brought your things.”

“Just put them beside the door. I’ll get them in the morning.”

“Katherine, I want to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you.” She flopped over.

“If you’re still angry about tonight, you shouldn’t be. You should be overcome with gratitude that I didn’t let you freeze your rosy little bottom sleeping outside.”

How could she have known this man all her life only to find she had married a stranger? How did he know if her bottom was rosy or not? And what had he said? Overcome with gratitude
—the very sound of those words brought chills to her spine.

He saw the light under her door grow dim and disappear. His fists clenched, he silently wished her to perdition, then started away. A second later he stopped. He and Katherine were married, regardless of the reason, regardless of how they felt about each other. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life like this. He was going to have to get control and it might as well be now.

The door opened and Alex stepped into the room, a square of pale light flooding around him. Katherine shot straight up. “Do you always barge in on people? Don’t you have
any
manners at all?”

“I wasn’t aware I had to wait for an invitation. You
are
my wife.”

“A fact you remember and forget as it suits you.”

“It suits me now to remember,” he said, his eyes on her.

Katherine leaned over and turned the lamp up enough to see his face. He was staring at her so intently that for a moment Katherine was mesmerized, seeing nothing but a tall man leaning negligently against the door frame. But then it occurred to her that whatever the man was looking at, he was devouring it with his eyes. She looked down, following the direction of his stare. He was looking at her. She was jerked from her absorption by that sobering fact. To be caught in her chemise was bad enough, but to be caught with a gap at the top where it opened was even worse. She remembered pulling the ribbon out to tie her braid. Then she remembered she had better cover herself.

And she did, jerking the covers up to her chin. But the memory of what he had seen was burned upon his mind. He had always thought Katherine a beautiful woman, but tonight she was incredibly so.
I’m so starved for feminine company a dress on a broom would look good.
But that was no broom he’d looked at. It was all warm, vital woman. He could never remember seeing so little of a woman’s breasts and having it affect him as it had, for in truth, very little of the skin between her breasts had been exposed. But it was enough to make him want to see more. “Katherine,” he said, stepping into the room and closing the door.

She was immediately aware of the change in him, the heavy-lidded eyes, the husky speech, and although she wasn’t experienced, she wasn’t a fool either. She felt her eyes burn, the tears she tried so desperately to hold back slipping down her face. She loved this man. She wanted more than anything to have him take her in his arms and make love to her. But she wanted it because he loved her, not because he had seen something that aroused him.

It took him a minute to overcome the desire he was feeling and for it to register that she was crying. “Katherine?”

He was standing beside her now.

She turned her face away. “Go away, Alex. Just leave me alone.”

“What’s wrong.”

“Nothing…everything. I think I’m too tired to be sensible right now.”

“I’ll leave your things.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“Fine.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Just a little sleep.”

“Well, good night.”

“Good night, Alex.”

Then it dawned on him that he was being dismissed, and Alex didn’t like to be dismissed. “Really Katherine, that was remarkable. I congratulate you.”

She sat up in bed. “Alex, what are you talking about?”

“Where did you learn to be such a tease? That was clever of you, you know. Draw the ribbon from your chemise, flaunt just enough bosom to entice a man, then flood him with tears until his guts are twisted with desire and remorse, and then turn a cold shoulder on him.”

She just sat there looking at him. He saw she was confused, insulted, angry, but she didn’t say anything.

“I find it interesting. Tell me where you learned to do that.”

“Only if you tell me where you learned to be so hateful and cruel.”

“I see this conversation is going nowhere,” he said. “I will see you in the morning.”

“
Not
if I see you first.” She flopped over again and pulled the covers over her head.

The door shut. The room was dark and quiet. Katherine was exhausted. Everything was perfect for sleeping. But she couldn’t sleep. This day had been too much. Alex had been too much. She began to cry.

When Katherine did anything, she did it with complete and utter devotion, and crying was no exception. Giving her misery her undivided attention, she didn’t hear the door open, didn’t hear her husband cross the room and pull back the blankets on her bed. But she felt the weight of his body as he lay next to her, felt the comforting heat of him as he took her in his arms and rolled her against him, cradling her head against his chest. “Go ahead and cry,” he said softly.

What a stupid thing for a man to say
, she thought.
Here I am crying my heart out, and what does he say ? Go ahead and cry! It’s hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.

She took two swipes at her eyes. “I’ m all right. You can leave now.

“Do you really want me to go?”

“Why would I want you to stay? You’re an ogre, Alex, an uncaring, unfeeling ogre.”

“You’re right, but even ogres need love.”

“Then go find another ogre and leave me alone.”

He laughed, burying his face in the hollow between her shoulder and neck, where the skin was soft, fragrant and oh, so warm. “Katherine,” he said softly, the sound of it low and vibrating like a kitten’s purr.

Her heart thudding in her breast, she turned toward him. “I am tired, Alex. Will you please leave me alone?”

“No,” he said. “I can’t. I’m going to bother you, Katherine, and keep on bothering you until you scream from the exquisite agony of it. I’m going to bother you, like you bother me, like you bothered me all these years when I didn’t understand why.”

“You were too stupid, that’s why.”

“I’m not stupid now.”

“It’s too late now.”

“Why?”

“Because I
know
, Alex. I know it isn’t me you want. I don’t know how you came to write that letter, or why you wrote my name, but I know you don’t want me.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, taking her hand and placing it on that part of him which was huge and hard, “I do want you.”

Surprise and shock held her mesmerized for a moment, then she squeezed her eyes shut, as if she could blot out the reality of his presence, of the words he had uttered. Before she could speak or respond in any way, his mouth found hers. His kiss was warm and demanding, and when she tried to resist, his arms tightened like tightly drawn cords around her. He kissed her for a long, long time. Katherine discovered there are kisses and then there are
kisses
.

She forgot for a moment the humiliation and pain she had felt a moment ago, forgot the reasons she had for being angry at this man. For a time, she forgot, melting against him, into him, her breasts crushed against him, an ache curling, low and hot, deep in her belly.

She had only been kissed once in her life, and that was the time Alex had kissed her before leaving for California. But that kiss had been nothing like this one. Lost in the knowledge that no one, not even Alex had kissed her like this before, Katherine moaned at the feeling of pleasure she felt when his hand slipped inside her chemise to cup her breast, his thumb bringing her to the point of readiness. His kiss was more urgent now, his breathing harder and more ragged. A moment later, Alex drew back. “Let me get my clothes off,” he said between nibbling kisses. “I want you, Katherine. I want you so much, I can’t wait any longer.”

That had a sobering effect upon Katherine. While she had vowed to make Alex love her, vowed to show him she was the right woman for him, it had never occurred to her he might want to make love to her for any other reason than love. Perhaps this was because she loved him so dearly and desired him so much, she naturally thought the two of them—love and desire—went together. Confused, and wanting him for all the right reasons, she pulled back and said, “I won’t make love with you, Alex. Not like this.”

It took a minute for that to soak in, but when it did, it hit like a pan of cold water. “What? What do you mean, you won’t make love with me? What in the hell do you think you’re doing right now?”

“Throwing you out of my bed,” she said, giving him a hard shove. Alex, who was precariously close to the edge to begin with, toppled over, hitting the floor with a thud.

A second later, a face with a furious expression popped up. “Are you crazy?” he asked.

“I must be,” she said, sitting up, “for thinking this is what marriage is all about.”

“Marriage!” he said. “This isn’t a marriage!”

“You are absolutely right. It isn’t, and it won’t ever be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Married people don’t have separate rooms.”

“You’re the one that made that decision!” he shouted.

“And it was a wise one,” she said. “Keep your voice down.”

“It is down! Hell! Why shouldn’t it be down? Everything else is.”

“Good night, Alex.”

“Katherine, what is this all about?”

“I told you. I won’t make love with you like this.”

“Not ever?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Do you have any idea when?”

“When I decide to move into your room.”

“It will take me a fast five minutes to accomplish that,” he said, coming up off the floor.

“I said,
when I decide to move
, Alex, not when
you
decide.”

“What difference does it make who decides, as long as one of us does?”

“Only you could ask something that stupid,” she said. “I’m beginning to think you don’t know anything about women.”

“Hell! I’m beginning to agree with you.”

“At least we agree on something,” she said.

The next morning, Adrian was sitting at the table in the kitchen, shoveling it in, when Alex walked in. Wong was shuffling around the stove, cooking and talking to himself, as he always did. Alex paused just inside the room and looked around. “Where’s Katherine?”

“She hasn’t come down yet,” Adrian said.

Alex sat down and Wong brought him a stack of pancakes. “Maybe she’ll be down in a minute,” he said.

“Maybe,” was all Adrian said.

By the time Alex finished eating, Adrian was on his third cup of coffee. Alex looked at his brother’s cup. Adrian never had more than two. It was obvious he was hanging around for something. “Don’t you have work to do?” Alex said.

“Don’t you?” was Adrian’s reply.

“I’m going to have a cup of coffee.”

“So am I.”

“You never have more than two.”

“Today I’m having four. Is that a problem for you?”

“No.” Alex looked at his timepiece. It was almost seven. It would be lunchtime soon. Where was she? He had another cup of coffee. So did Adrian. “Have they cleared the logs out of the road yet?”

“I don’t know.”

Alex scowled. “Well, don’t you think you should check to see if they’ve at least started on it?”

“No, but you go ahead if you want to.”
Damnation! Wasn’t there any way to get him out of the kitchen? Maybe he should forget about Katherine. Let her sulk in her room.
He looked at Adrian. Adrian smiled.
You’re enjoying this
. “Wong!” Alex shouted. “Bring me another cup.”

“Me too, Wong.”

The brothers sat in silence as Wong gave them a strange look and brought the coffeepot. When he returned it to the stove, Alex couldn’t stand it any longer. “Wong, run upstairs and see what ails my wife. Tell her breakfast is getting cold.” Wong left. He was back in a few minutes. “Well?” Alex said. “What did she say?”

“Missy say she doesn’t feel like eating breakfast this morning.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with her?”

Wong shrugged. “Wong no ask.”

“Well, go back and ask her what ails her,” Alex said.

Wong shot from the room. A few minutes later he was back. “Missy say she is overcome with gratitude.”

It was the second time in as many days that the sound of his brother’s laughter followed him away from the house.
Overcome with gratitude?
Those words had a strangely familiar ring to them. But that only irritated Alex further.
I’m not going to put up with much more of this, Katherine.

Chapter Seventeen

A week passed and things hadn’t changed much. Katherine was still sleeping in her own room and Alex was still mumbling, “I’m not going to put up with much more of this, Katherine.”

It might have surprised the two of them to know that after a week of disagreements, there was one thing they actually did agree on. Katherine, like Alex, didn’t think she could put up with much more of it either.

The weather had taken a turn for the better, being uncommonly warm and clear for November. Taking advantage of the lucky change, Katherine gathered up the things that needed washing and followed Wong, who carried her basket of laundry down to the cookhouse, where two large tubs designated as laundry tubs stood on the back porch. Molly (Katherine absolutely refused to call a woman by her initials) was just finishing a little laundry of her own.

Over the past week Katherine had become quite fond of Molly, looking to the older woman for friendship, guidance, counseling, and help in adapting to a whole new way of life. But it hadn’t been easy. There were times that Katherine wondered how their friendship would ever get on solid ground. Molly wasn’t the easiest person in the world to get to know.