Man Eaters (32 page)

“We can siphon,” Safety said. “It’s pretty much how my mother got gas while I was growing up. I’m pretty decent...well...um...sucking from a hose.”

No one said a word…then everyone burst out laughing.

 “Oh my god, oh my god, that was the funniest thing I’ve heard since this stuff started! No, I take that back. It was the funniest ever!” Einstein laughed harder.

After everyone had a good laugh, including Safety, Roper nudged Dallas. “The horses could use a good stretch as well. And I need to start looking for the best place to let them go.”

Dallas knew by Roper’s tone that it crushed her to have to leave them. “I wish we could bring them, Roper, I really do.”

“It’s a new world now. No use keeping things that won’t help us stay alive.” This came from Cue-Ball as he tried to get comfortable beneath the weight of the dog. “Like the dog. I don’t see why—”

“Can it,” Roper growled curtly.

Peanut threw her arms around Zeus. “I’m not leaving my dog anywhere!”

“And you won’t have to,” Butcher said softly, though her eyes were glaring at Cue-Ball.

“There are a bunch of cars up ahead,” Einstein said, pointing to an odd assembly of cars on the freeway.

“Wonder what happened here?”

While the freeway remained, for the most part, uncluttered, this looked like a traffic jam.

“Careful, Dallas. Something shitty went down here.”

“I think we should stop,” Einstein said, leaning into the space between Dallas, Roper, and Butcher.

Dallas stopped the Hummer. Everyone looked and listened. It was eerily silent—the kind of silence before a roaring sound of thunder jolts your senses. They all felt it before. They all knew what it meant.

Trouble.

“We’re going to need to push some of these cars out of the way,” Butcher said.

“Or we can just turn the hell around and get off this damn road.” Cue-Ball swore under his breath.

“We need the gas,” Dallas said. “And this may be the only chance for gas for miles. We’re not turning around.”

“Well, if you two lesbians are so certain you aren’t on the menu, why don’t you clear the area first? I mean, they won’t eat you, right?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Butcher said, opening the door. “Dallas, Roper, and I will clear the area. You and Einstein watch the Hummer. Peanut, you stay inside. We’ll take Zeus with us, okay?”

“Promise to bring him back?”

She nodded. “Scout’s honor. Safety? You sure about this?”

He nodded. “I’ll have that can filled before you can tie both your shoes.”

As everyone tumbled out of the Hummer, Butcher, Roper, and Dallas checked their ammo.

“We need to get to the front of the mess first to see what we could be dealing with.”

“Then let’s take one side of the freeway so we only have to watch one side. I’ll take the flank,” Butcher said. “You two stay in single file a good ten feet apart. Always give yourself space to swing the rifle all the way around.”

Dallas and Roper nodded.

“You should be between us,” Roper said. “You know, in case they really won’t bite us.”

Butcher thought for a second before agreeing. “What about Safety?”

Safety held up the can. “Gonna look fo’ a Lexus and something to syphon. I’ll be fine. You find a path outta here while I get us enough gas to get us to the next station.”

With their plan laid out, the three women and the dog moved past a cemetery of dead cars. More than half a dozen were filled with man eaters still buckled in and pounding with gnarled, blackened stumps at the windows of the cars.

Every now and then, when the wind shifted, the stench of decay filled the air like a noxious gas, so strong it made their eyes water.

“Look at that guy. A convertible? Really? Don’t you listen to the news?”

Dallas noted that the zombies only thrashed about once they saw Butcher. To test their gay theory, she whispered, “Stay back, Butcher. I want to see something.”

Walking cautiously up to the passenger side of the convertible, Dallas stood there until the zombie turned her way. He looked at her maybe two seconds before turning away, uninterested.

“Jesus. Looks like it’s true,” Butcher said, walking up to the car.

At the sound of her voice, the driver turned and lunged for her, tearing flesh off the side of his throat when he hit the seatbelt stretching for her. Raising her rifle, Butcher blew half his head off. “Don’t need him accidentally breaking free.”

“It’s so weird they can’t problem-solve or even think,” Roper said as they continued on.

“And yet now they rule the country. Like Republicans. It totally sucks.”

Roper held her hand up. “Shh. Can you hear that?”

Butcher and Dallas listened.

“Sounds like a drum beating.”

“There’s something on the other side of that RV.”

“Let’s clear it out to there and then get back to the Hummer. I don’t like the feel of this.”

Slowly, they made their way toward the front of the older RV that was blocking most of the freeway. As they came up to the large glass window on the back of the RV, three creatures lunged toward it and began pawing at it.

“Damn. I was thinking an RV would be a nice addition to the cramped Hummer.”

Dallas shook her head. “Too slow and uses too much gas.”

“But it might have been nice for a night or—”

“What in the hell?” Roper said, staring at something in front of the RV.

When Dallas came up behind her, she covered her mouth.

Stopped perpendicular to the traffic was a school bus.

“A school bus? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does if your community didn’t believe the news reports. It’s not like our country has ever experienced Martial Law be—”

Just as Butcher was about to finish, a dozen childlike zombie faces appeared in the bus windows snarling and spewing and clawing at the closed windows for Butcher. All dead eyes were focused solely on her.

“Holy fuck,” Butcher said, taking a step backward. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

The three women simply stared as the zombie children moaned and banged on the glass.

“How are they...are they locked in there?”

Roper maneuvered around the last few cars and looked into the door. Lying on the step was the bus driver’s half-eaten body. His remains prevented the door from collapsing in, thus trapping the mindless zombie children inside.

Returning to Dallas and Butcher, Roper shook her head. “Dead body is blocking the door. I guess we’ll never know if he was trying to escape or prevent the kids from escaping.”

Butcher looked behind her. “Looks like he wasn’t successful either way.”

“Yeah. Someone got to these drivers.”

“Can you even imagine? Kids foaming at the mouth wanting you to open your car door. How could you not?”

“Well, it was the last thing these folks did.”

Suddenly, a gunshot came from behind them in the direction of the Hummer. As they turned to run, three zombie children moved toward them from between two cars. Zeus growled low, his hackles standing up.

“Hold tight,” Butcher said. “They want me. Let them come at me.”

When all three little girls were clear from the vehicles, Dallas and Roper shot all three in the head.

“Come on!” Dallas said, running back to the Hummer. “We are outta here.”

As soon as the Hummer was in view, they all stopped, knowing this was it. Parked behind the trailer was the yellow pickup.

Butcher grabbed Zeus’ collar and ordered him to sit. Roper and Dallas slowly raised their rifles in the air at the outlaws.

Three outlaws in the back of the truck had their weapons trained on the women. The leader, their driver, stood with his sidearm pointed at Einstein’s head.

“You ladies are a tough buncha bitches to pin down, so instead of following your trail, we decided to head you off at the pass.”

Dallas took a step forward, her eyes cutting over to Cue-Ball who neither held his weapon nor had one pointed at him.

“Your boy here managed to get off a shot. You oughtta teach him how to shoot, you know? Shoots like a pussy.”

“We’re not responsible for your guys dying back in that town,” Dallas said. “We’ve got no beef with you.”

“Oh, I know. They were stupid, but they were just following my orders. We want the Hummer. Plain and simple. This time, you’re giving it to us or shit’s goin’ down.”

“You guys could have any car you wanted. Why bust our balls for this one?”

“We’ve taken some cool cars, too, but none of them tell us the whereabouts of those mass murdering dickhead soldiers.”

“There is no radio comm.—”

“Bullshit. You just don’t know the right frequency. What can you expect from a bunch of dykes?”

Butcher commanded Zeus to stay before stepping next to Dallas. “Let them have it, Dallas. It’s more of a hassle than it’s worth.”

“Listen to her...Dallas. Give us the keys and we won’t pop your boy here.”

Einstein barely shook his head, his eyes darting over to Cue-Ball.

“What about the horses?”

“We were thinking they’d make a good meal.”

Suddenly, Roper whipped her rifle around and had it pointed at the leader. She began walking slowly toward him.

Butcher and Dallas had theirs trained on the three shooters so fast, no one had time to think.

“You touch those horses or harm them in any way, you’re a dead man.” Roper moved forward. “You can shoot the boy or shoot me, but either way, you won’t live to tell about it.

“Hey, whoa, now hold on.” The leader grabbed Einstein as a human shield and pressed the muzzle to his temple. “I’ll kill him. I really will. Don’t fuck with me.”

Roper stopped, aimed, and said, “Then you are a dead man standing right now.”

“Shoot her!” he ordered, but Butcher and Dallas moved closer to the truck, rifles aimed at three young men whose attention was now divided.

“Put your weapons down, fellas, and you can walk away from this. I’ll give you to the count of three. One.”

“I’ll kill him! I really will shoot this kid in the head. Do you want to be responsible for that?”

“Two.”

“Okay, okay. I can see you’re not kidding around,” the leader said. “What if we let your horses go? The horses for the keys.”

“The horses and the boy for the keys.”

“You gals ride a tough bargain. We’ll let the horses out, you toss the keys on the ground, and I let the kid go.”

Roper shook her head. “Uh uh. You let the horses and the kid go. We’ll toss the keys and let you live.”

He laughed. “You ladies just don’t know who you’re fucking with, you know? In college, they called me Crazy Callaghan because I’d do anything for a buck. I’m crazy enough to just blow his brains out and let my guys take you three out.”

The number three did not go unnoticed by the three of them. It made Dallas smile.

“I let the horses go. You toss keys. The kid will get them and start the Hummer. Once it starts, he’s free to return to the bosom of the mommy clan. Final deal.”

Roper saw Dallas nod. “Fine.”

Butcher did not move her mouth when she whispered, “Peanut’s in the Hummer.”

“What’s it gonna be, ladies?”

Dallas leveled her gaze at Einstein, hoping beyond hope the teen would read what she wanted him to do. “This could be a bloodbath, Callaghan. Is that what you want?”

“What I want is the Hummer.”

“All guns on Callaghan,” Butcher ordered, and without question, all three aimed at him.

“The horses first. Then the keys. Then the kid walks away. You do anything but retreat into the Hummer and you’re the first collateral damage. Are we clear?”

Callaghan laughed a sound that came out slightly maniacal. “I love Jack! His ‘Here’s Johnny’ is one of the best lines ever. Right up with Clint’s ‘Do you feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk? Tell me...do you feel lucky?”

“Just let the horses go.”

With a pivot jerk of his head, one of Callaghan’s men opened the trailer gate and let the horses out. All four horses scattered, with three making a beeline for the hills.

“Now, the keys.”

Dallas kept her rifle pointed at him while she reached into her pants pocket for the keys. She tossed them about ten feet away, or nearly equidistance from Callaghan, who shoved Einstein toward the keys, still pointing his revolver at the teen.

“Don’t be a hero, kid. Just start the Hummer and then back away.”

When the Hummer started, Einstein walked back to Dallas’s side, as if unphased by the handgun pointed at him.

“Smart boy. Okay fellas, Delray, you and the Noob come with me.” Keeping his gun trained on Einstein, Callaghan backed away toward the Hummer. “I’da killed that kid. You know that, right?”

Dallas didn’t offer so much as a nod as all three women tracked him with their rifles. When Cue-Ball started after Callaghan, Dallas frowned and said. “Where the hell are you going?”

Cue-Ball smiled. “I’m the Noob. I’m going with these guys. You people just don’t have a god damned clue and I can’t take it any more.”

Before Dallas could say another word, Einstein said softly, “He’s the one who got the drop on me.”

“You spineless motherfucker,” Butcher growled. “You sold us out? For what?”

“Survival. Thanks for the ride. I’ll be sure to take good care of her.”

Butcher dropped her weapon and started for him, when bullets pinged all around her feet, causing her to stop.

“So long, girls.” When Cue-Ball got in the Hummer, Callaghan signaled to the guy in the truck, who honked three times.

“In case you had a stupid idea of coming after us, I’ve left you with...well...with a full plate.” Laughing like Batman’s Joker, Callaghan backed the Hummer up and sped off, followed by the guys in the pickup.

“I’m gonna kill that motherfucker myself,” Butcher said.

“I’ll get the horses,” said Roper.

“We are going after her, aren’t we?” Einstein asked.

“Of course we are, but first, we gotta find Safety, get the horses, and—”

The moaning arrived seconds before they did.

“What the hell?” Roper turned as the kids from the bus barreled toward them. She put two down before Butcher and Dallas even knew what was happening.

“Get behind us!” Roper yelled at Einstein as she blew open the head of a little blonde girl with blood all over her chin.