Marriage Seasons 01 - It Happens Every Spring (33 page)

"I guess so."

"Psalm 139," Cody began. " `0 Lord, thou hast searched me,
and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,
thou understandest my thought afar off-' "

"Steve?"

Brenda's voice carried across the green lawn toward the
lakeshore. He turned and saw her, dressed in a pink top, blue jean
shorts, and sandals. Her hair was too short-almost boyish-and
she looked thinner than she should. She lifted a hand in greeting.
"Cody?" she called. "Is that you?"

"It's me and Steve." Cody dropped the rod and clapped his
hands. "Look, he came back! I told you he would. I told you!"

Brenda approached, stepping onto the gangway that led from
the shore onto the dock. As she made her way down the aisle
between two rows of boat slips, Steve pictured her melting into
Nick LeClair's arms. Slender, beautiful, looking younger than her
age, she had wanted that man to hold her and kiss her. She had
longed for his touch-and more. Rage boiled up inside Steve's
chest, and he fought the urge to bark out his fury in front of Cody.

"See all the little fish, Brenda?" the young man said, motioning
toward the minnow bucket. "We don't eat these. We eat big ones."

Brenda laid her hand on his arm. "Have you caught any big
ones?"

"Nope," Cody said. "Steve came back after you went to the
beauty shop. We bought these little fish and then we came down to
the dock."

Her green eyes focused on Steve, softening as she gazed at him.
"I'm glad you're back," she said. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he growled. "Doing great."

Her face froze. "I see. Where have you been for the past week?"

"I'm going back to the house," he said.

"Good!" Cody exclaimed. "That means it's time for my shower, Steve! Brenda told me that when you came back, we would take a
shower-you and me-and get all clean and put on my new
clothes."

"I thought you might be willing to help Cody," Brenda clarified.

Steve eyed his wife as he gathered up the fishing rods and the
minnow bucket. Was she frightened now-scared that he would
divorce her, force her out of the house, compel her to get a job? He
hoped so. The taste of bitterness soured his mouth as he placed the
tackle in the storage cupboard near their slip. Let her worry. Let her
feel some of the hopelessness and hurt he had suffered.

He started for the house with Cody and Brenda trailing behind
him. The thought of dragging out his anger for weeks and months
somehow satisfied Steve. He would punish Brenda, keep her in a
state of dismay and fear, and then he would leave her.

She had admitted her failing, apologized, asked him to forgive
her. He held all the power now, and it felt good to watch her grovel.

A touch on his hand caused him to stiffen. She wouldn't dare-

"A shower, a shower!" Cody sang out, wrapping his skinny fingers around Steve's hand. "This is going to be lots and lots of fun.
Just me and you and Brenda, back together again. It's a happy
day!"

(Steve Hansen came home." Charlie Moore made the announcement after parking his golf cart in the driveway and stepping onto
the front porch of his tidy little home in Deepwater Cove. "He took
Cody fishing. I saw them down on the dock. They had a bucket of
minnows."

Esther glanced at Kim Finley, who had dropped by to pick up a
quart of strawberries. The Moores planted a big garden every year,
and their strawberry patch was famous around the lake. Esther had
invited Kim to drop by and take home some of the fruit in the hope
that it would help little Luke feel better. The boy had missed so
much school that Kim was afraid he might not be able to advance
to the next grade level. That would put him a full year behind his
twin sister, Lydia, and Kim feared it would damage his self-esteem.

Esther watched Charlie grimace as he settled into a white wicker
chair. His knees were getting worse, though he did his best to deny
it. She hated to see him in pain, but what could she do if he refused
to go to the doctor?

As Boofer, their little dog, settled into her husband's lap, Esther stroked Charlie's arm. "Did you talk to Steve, honey? Surely Cody
must have seen you drive by." She smiled at Kim. "The boy may be
slow, but he never misses a chance to wave at us on our golf cart. I
think he's just a sweet, simple young man who wouldn't hurt a fly.
Don't you, Kim?"

"I haven't talked to him much, but he's always friendly."

"It was good of Brenda Hansen to try to help him. Did you see
her on the dock too, Charlie?"

"Not when I drove by. But I can tell you one thing-I'm awful
glad Steve's back."

"So am I," Esther agreed. "I don't believe for a minute what
people were saying about the two of them. He and Brenda have
always been the happiest couple-raising those beautiful children, working hard, going to church every Sunday. What could
possibly have come between them? No, I'm sure he was on a business trip."

Charlie shook his head. "Now, Esther, you can't go making
things all apple pie and ice cream. There's not a married couple in
the world that doesn't have a little trouble now and then."

"Not us. We've been happy since the day we said, `I do,' and
don't tell me otherwise."

"Oh, Esther, you know we've had our rocky times. If Steve
needed a little breathing room, then so be it. And Brenda-well,
she's had her hands full with Cody and that basement project."

"She was very quiet when the TLC visited her," Kim put in. "It
was the middle of the afternoon, and she hadn't even changed
out of her nightgown. I think she's been suffering a deep depression.

"I wouldn't know a thing about depression," Esther said, waving a hand to brush off the unpleasant thought. "It doesn't make a
bit of sense to me."

"When my husband left the twins and me, I sank into a depression," Kim told Esther and Charlie. "At first I couldn't believe he
was really gone. Then I got so angry that I could hardly keep it inside. I yelled at the kids a lot, and I even snapped at my clients.
Everything irritated me. Finally, I went numb. Even though I had
my precious children, a stable job with benefits, and a nice home,
the whole world looked black to me. I felt like I was inside a box
with no way out."

"Now that sounds pretty awful to me," Charlie said. "My
mother went through a time like that when her last baby died. My
father put her in the hospital for what seemed like forever to me.
One day she came home, but she was never the same after that. She
had lost her joy."

Kim nodded. "A friend talked me into seeing a counselor, and I
took some medicine for a while. Finally the darkness started to lift,
and I got back on my feet. But when I saw Brenda the other day, I
recognized all the signs of depression."

"Depression is nothing more than a state of mind," Esther
argued. "People have to be tough. When hard times come, they
ought to buckle down and face things head-on. I'm sorry to be
plainspoken, but all this psychology stuff sounds like a bunch of
hooey to me. I realize you feel better now, Kim, but why didn't you
grab yourself by the bootstraps and pull yourself up? Snap out of it
is what I tell myself."

"For some of us," Kim said softly, "it's not that easy."

"Well, I just hope things get back to normal around here now
that Steve's home." Charlie took a large white handkerchief from
his back pocket and wiped his forehead. "Sure is hot today. I think
we're about to have to call an official end to spring. How are the
strawberries holding out, Esther?"

"They're still coming on," she told him. "I baked a strawberry
cobbler for dessert. We ought to have fruit for a good while yet. But
I found a hole in the garden fence this morning. The rabbits got
into the lettuce already."

"Aw, shucks," Charlie grumbled. "If it isn't one thing, it's
another."

As Ozzie rubbed against the side of her leg, Brenda stood outside
the open door of the master bathroom and cradled a stack of clean,
new clothing. In anticipation of this moment, she had purchased
three pairs of blue jeans and five T-shirts for Cody, plus socks and
underwear and some shiny white sneakers. As the water hissed,
steam crept out above the curtain. She could hear Cody laughing as
Steve, standing just outside the shower, gave instructions.

"Wash right there," Steve was saying as he peeked behind the
curtain. "Get that soap on good, Cody, or I'll have to make you do
it again."

"It's slippery!" The younger man giggled from inside the tiled
shower stall. "Like a fish! Like one of those big fish we didn't
catch!"

"Hang on to it." Steve mumbled something Brenda couldn't
make out. "When was the last time you had a bath, kid?"

"Me and my daddy washed off in gas-station bathrooms. If you
buy a piece of bubble gum, you can get the key and use the bathroom. That's how we did it."

"I believe it. The dirt is ground into your pores. Get your neck,
Cody, and use that washcloth. You have to scrub every bit of yourself, even in the back."

Brenda closed her eyes and settled her chin on the clothing.
Steve had come home. For days she had lived with the fear that she
would never see him again. He never called home, though Brenda
left several messages on his voice mail. It was as if her confession
and their argument had propelled him out of her life forever.

Though Brenda had longed to slide back into her cocoon after
Steve left, the members of the Tea Ladies' Club prevented it. After
the day Esther Moore showed up with fresh strawberries, she
began to stop by regularly, bringing fresh spring lettuce, a bouquet
of irises, or a card signed by all the women. She always had some
activity in mind for herself and Brenda-baking pies or cookies together, drinking tea on the porch, weeding a neighbor's flower
beds, or figuring out how to use the new computer Charlie had
purchased. Brenda resented the intrusion at first. But she gradually
acknowledged that she looked forward to Esther's visits as an
uplifting way to start each day.

By noon, Esther would zip off in her golf cart to fix lunch for
Charlie. Within minutes, Ashley Hanes usually showed up at the
Hansen house. She longed to do beadwork in the new basement
crafts area, she told Brenda. And she needed help. Together they
strung necklaces, bracelets, and anklets. Ashley taught Brenda how
to form clay into colorful beads that could be baked rock-hard in
the oven. She begged for sewing lessons, too, and Brenda felt obligated to drag out her machine and help the young woman stitch
new kitchen curtains.

About the time Ashley left for work each afternoon, along
would come Kim Finley and her twins. The kids wanted to play on
the swing set in the backyard, paint pictures in the basement, or
chase the cat around the house. Kim helped Brenda prepare Cody's
meals and assemble goody packages to be mailed off to Justin and
Jessica at college.

At the end of each day, Brenda was exhausted. But she had her
new friends to thank for keeping her so busy. None of them had
questioned her about her relationship with Steve, and she was
grateful. She didn't have time to dwell on her absentee husband. In
fact, Steve had been away from home so much anyway that things
almost felt normal.

By the time Brenda had spotted Cody and Steve down on the
dock, she had been up and about enough to find the energy for a
trip to Just As I Am. Patsy Pringle had been her usual cheerful self
that afternoon, asking about everyone in the family and clucking
in sympathy each time Brenda hinted that she and Steve were
going through a hard time.

The sight of her husband fishing on the dock had lifted Brenda's
heart. But his anger and surliness quickly squelched any hope she may have held for a reconciliation. Clearly Steve's time away from
her had done nothing to heal his hurt. He had returned homebut she had no doubt he intended to end their marriage.

"Ha!" Cody cried. Stark naked, he tore open the shower curtain.
"I'm clean, even in my ears! Even behind my neck! Even-"