Marriage Seasons 01 - It Happens Every Spring (35 page)

"Could we try?"

"I'm not sure," he said.

"I'm willing." She turned to face him. "I know it will take a lot of
hard work. Maybe it'll be years before we get things to feel really
right again. But I'm ready to make the effort. I want to try to support you in your work like I used to. I want you to succeed, and I
really am proud of everything you've accomplished. I respect you,
Steve. You're a good man."

Pressing his lips together, he lifted his focus to the ceiling. "You
don't know how long I've waited to hear those words. To feel your
hand on my arm and your head on my shoulder. To believe that
you don't despise me."

"I love you, Steve. And I never stopped." Fearing the worst possible reaction from him, Brenda summoned her courage and
slipped her arms around her husband. Drawing him close, she held
him tightly and brushed her fingertips up and down his back.

At last, he lifted his own arms and encircled her. Laying his
cheek against her head, he rocked her lightly, the way he always
had.

"All right, honey." He breathed the words against her ear. "I'll
try.... I'll try."

Through her tears, Brenda spotted Cody heading toward them.
Three plates-each holding a mangled square of chocolate cake balanced precariously in his hands. He grinned through chocolate
icing smeared around the corners of his mouth.

"I'll try too!" Cody said happily. "I'll try this chocolate cake,
because I know it's gonna be good. Brenda always does the best
chocolate cakes, and that's because she's a Christian. I think you are
too, Steve. You helped me try to catch fish, and that's like the five
loaves and two fishes and everyone eating till they were full. My
daddy learned me about it in Matthew 14:16: `But Jesus said unto
them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.' And here we are, all
three of us together, sharing our chocolate cake just like Jesus!"

Brenda grabbed a plate before the cake could topple onto the
floor. She handed it to Steve and took another. "Thank you,
Cody."

Cody stuck a fork into his cake. " `Give ye them to eat,' and
that's how you be a Christian. That, and forgive. When those men
were hitting me, I said Luke 6:36 and 37 over and over. `Be ye
therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and
ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.' That's a really good one
if you want to be a Christian and pass on to glory in the great
by-and-by."

As Cody ate, Brenda shifted her focus to Steve and recognized in
his eyes a tenderness she had not seen for a very long time.

Walking away from his office and driving home while the sun was
still shining turned out to be one of the hardest things Steve had
ever done. For three days, he had jerked his attention from the
active, bustling world of real estate and gone home to eat dinner
with a woman he wasn't sure he could ever truly love again. He had
told Brenda he would try, and he was trying. He had decided to
give it a week, and if things hadn't improved-at least slightly-he
would have to reevaluate.

The first night he had come home early, Brenda was so surprised to see him that she dropped a pan of lasagna on the floor,
and they had to go out to eat. The second night, she grilled steaks
and served them with baked potatoes and fresh green salad.

Now, on the third night-right in the midst of negotiations
between the potential buyer and the seller of a million-dollar lake
home-he had forced himself to call a halt to the proceedings. He
had turned off his cell phone, instructed his secretary to hold all his
calls until the following morning, and pressed the button that
would lock his office door. After driving to Deepwater Cove, greeting Brenda at the door, and eating a big helping of stir-fried
chicken, he pushed his pink plaid chair back from their table.

"Let's walk again like we did yesterday!" Cody spoke up. "Let's
go down to the lake and see if Charlie Moore has caught any fish."

As Steve had learned, the young man typically showed up at the
front door the moment Brenda took dinner out of the oven.
Brenda explained that ever since Cody's return to the neighborhood, he had been eating most meals with her. She seemed to have
substituted Cody for her husband at the table, and Steve had felt
almost awkward resuming his traditional place at its head.

"I'd like to go for a walk too." Brenda glanced at Steve, her
expression wary. "Do you want to join us?"

If he were to tell the truth, Steve would have to say no. He didn't
want to walk around the neighborhood or watch Charlie Moore
fish. He wanted to be back in his office negotiating a lucrative sale.
Or taking a valued client to the country club for dinner. In fact, the
last two people on earth he wanted to spend time with were Brenda
and Cody.

"Sure." He forced the word out of his mouth. "I'll get our jackets. It was a little cool outside when I drove home."

Struggling to be more pleasant to his wife than he felt, Steve
brought jackets from the coat closet. He helped Cody get his arms
into the long sleeves-a major endeavor, as it turned out. Then they set off into the gathering dusk, Cody hurrying ahead and
Steve walking dutifully beside his wife.

Every time he thought about what she had done with that
scrawny handyman, Steve faced an array of arrows aimed straight
at his heart. Part of him wanted to shake his wife, yell at her, make
her cower in the dirt in repentance. Part of him wanted to hunt
down Nick LeClair and challenge him to a fistfight. Instead of giving in to those emotions, Steve had decided to take pride in the fact
that he was maintaining his cool, doing his best to meet Brenda's
requests, and remaining steadfastly at her side.

It was a stretch, he knew. But didn't he deserve some credit?
After all, how many men would have even gone this far in trying to
salvage a broken marriage?

But he knew congratulating himself wouldn't make him feel
good for very long. The fact was, the challenge of making his marriage work held little allure. Steve inevitably found his thoughts
traveling in circles-always back to Brenda's betrayal and his own
pain.

"Thank you for coming home for dinner again tonight," Brenda
said as they strolled down the narrow paved road toward the lake.
"It almost feels like before-when I could count on you and prepare a meal I knew you would enjoy. I realize it must be difficult for
you to leave your office so early and-"

"No," he snapped at her without thinking. "No, I don't think
you do. Tonight I was in the middle of a sale on a three-tiered,
seven-bedroom, ten-bath home with a swimming pool near Sunrise Beach. Right on the dot at six o'clock, I got a counteroffer from
the prospective buyer, but I decided not to call the seller about it
until tomorrow."

"Oh," she said meekly, "I see."

Steve sighed. "It's not easy-that's all I'm saying, Brenda. I told
you I'd try, so I am. See, I came home, and now I'm walking to the
lake. I hope you're happy."

She moved beside him in silence.

"Look, I didn't intend to sound harsh," he continued. "But I
mean, look at it from my point of view. I'm the one who got
burned, and now I'm the one who has to make sacrifices."

"When a marriage goes down in flames," Brenda said, "both
people get burned. I've been hurting for a long time. You've been
gone so much I began to think I might actually get used to it. But I
never did."

"I haven't been gone. Not like guys who fish or golf all the time.
I've been working, Brenda."

"Is it any different?"

"Of course it is! I'm not goofing off. I'm earning money for my
family."

"You've been gone. That's the only thing that matters."

"Well, now I'm here. What else do you want?"

Instead of answering, Brenda pasted on a smile and waved at
Esther Moore, who was sitting on her porch brushing her dog.
Boofer spotted Cody and tried to run to him, but Esther held on
tight.

"Animals love Cody," Brenda observed. "I guess he must be very
gentle with them."

Way to change the subject, Steve thought. Well, good. He didn't
want to talk about their marriage anyway. There was nothing more
he could do except endure it. That, and alter his entire pattern of
existence.

"You know, it might help if I wasn't the only one working on
this relationship, Brenda," he said. "I've been coming home early,
eating dinner with you, taking these walks. I'm trying to be civil to
you-

"And you have no idea how much all that means to me. We used
to enjoy spending time together, remember? You would tell me
about your work and all the people who came into the auto-parts
store. I'd like to hear what's going on in your agency now. I want to
be supportive, because I know how much your work means to you.
Everyone in the community talks about what a great salesman you are, and it makes me really proud to be your wife. I love it that
you're smart and successful. But mostly, I'm just glad you come
home to me. I feel ... it's hard to explain, Steve ... but I feel better."

Before he could respond, she reached over and slipped her hand
into his. Instinctively, he wrapped his fingers around hers. Like
kids on an awkward date, they walked along the gravel path toward
the lake in stilted silence.

Steve could feel every part of Brenda's hand as though it were
pulsing with electricity. Her slender fingers slipped between his
own, much larger ones. The heel of her hand pressed against his
palm. Her elbow brushed his arm. As she stepped closer to him,
her shoulder leaned into his, and she let out a long breath.

"There's Charlie at the end of the dock," she said in a low voice.
"He's already showing Cody his stringer of crappie. Every night I
figure Charlie must have pulled the very last fish out of the water
around the dock, but the next night, he's caught at least one or two
more keepers."

Steve tightened his hold on Brenda's hand. Holding hands with
her again felt so good. If only he could be certain the gesture wasn't
just an act. Part of her campaign to salve her conscience. His heart
was thudding in his chest, and he searched for something to say as
if the word repository in his mind had suddenly been deleted.

"Esther told me that she and Charlie eat so much fish she's surprised she hasn't started to grow fins." Brenda chuckled. "Lately
she and I have become good friends."

Steve nodded and managed to say, "I'm glad."

"Oh, look! Charlie has one hooked, and he's giving Cody the
rod!"

Brenda's hand jerked suddenly out of Steve's grip as she cupped
her mouth. "You can do it, Cody!" she cried, jumping up and
down on her tiptoes. "Reel him in slowly! Charlie, show him which
way to crank it!"

Beaming, she grabbed Steve's hand again and squeezed it. At the sheer joy on her face-and the certainty that this time her grasp
was genuine-he couldn't hold back a grin.

"Come on!" she said, drawing him forward. "Let's go watch
Cody pull in his first fish. Isn't this fun?"

As they picked up their pace, hurrying hand in hand toward the
dock, Steve had to agree. This was kind of fun.

(Steve pulled up to the gas pumps outside Rods-n-Ends two weeks
after his return to Deepwater Cove. As he stepped out of his car, he
saw Pete Roberts leave his place behind the counter and saunter
toward the door. For once, the thought of shooting the breeze with
the hefty store owner didn't make Steve cringe.

His trial week had turned into two. Things with Brenda were
still far from perfect, but coming home early had made a difference. So that morning at his office, he had gathered the other
real-estate agents and his staff in the conference room to make an
announcement. He would be heading home no later than six each
evening. The agency would be open on Saturdays, but Sundays
would be reserved for church and family. The news had come as a
surprise, and one employee objected to the changes, but Steve had
refused to hear any arguments. His declaration stood.