Matters of the Heart (7 page)

As she spoke, she linked her arm through Aunt Laura’s just as Robert made an appearance.

‘Please take Jane’s arm, Robert. We must step into the carriage, for time is pressing.’

So, as the huge doors of Pendenna Reach opened, admitting an icy blast of wind, I found myself being escorted by Robert into the carriage. Aunt Laura sat in silence as she watched Robert and me intently. I glanced at her from time to time, idly taking in the smoothness of her skin and the beige-coloured outfit she wore. On glancing now and then at my grandmother, dressed entirely in black, as usual, I could see her smiling indulgently at us and now and then, she made some observation of the countryside while I kept casting my mind back to Molly.

Until today, I had only seen the church from a distance through the treetops. As we drew up to the lychgate and we stepped out of the carriage, Robert’s hand gently squeezing mine, I could see close up that the tower was tall and very obviously fifteenth-century, but the main body of the church was more recent. I had studied English churches and always felt it was such a pity that I never entered them anymore. Robert took my arm and we walked through the gate up the stone path, strewn with leaves. I listened to the monotonous sound of the bell ringing and tried hard not to look at the many dank grey gravestones which stood upright all around me.

We seated ourselves in a cold pew at the side of the church, very obviously reserved for the Pendenna family. As I cast my eyes over the congregation, it was then I spotted Granny Merriock. She sat near the front of the church not far from me. As I watched her she suddenly glanced in my direction and gave me such a venomous look, I shook and quickly averted by gaze.

The service over and back outside once more, shaking hands with a very tall vicar, I caught sight of Granny Merriock out of the corner of my eye as she walked to the gate.

‘Excuse me,’ I said to a startled vicar, interrupting him mid-sentence as I scurried off after her.

As I reached the gate an arm suddenly caught mine.

‘Where are you going in such a hurry, Jane?’

I looked back to see Aunt Laura almost towering over me. Until now I had not noticed how tall she was.

‘I just want a word with Granny Merriock, if you’ll excuse me.’

So saying, I freed my arm from her grasp.

‘I’ll come with you, Jane, for this I must see.’

She then hurried after me, past the carriage, in the direction of the village but it was to no avail. There was no sight of the old woman. I stood looking around me with exasperation, Aunt Laura at my side.

‘What a pity,’ she offered with obvious sarcasm in her voice.

‘I would have caught up with her if you had not detained me, and what did you mean when you said, this I must see? What sort of spectacle were you expecting?’

As I spoke I hastened back to the carriage, Aunt Laura keeping up beside me.

‘I was curious to see what reception you would receive.’

‘By that, I assume you expect it to be unfavourable.’

We had reached the carriage and I turned to face my aunt.

‘Why, yes, Jane, it is what I’d expect under the circumstances.’

‘And what do you mean by that?’ My voice was becoming louder but I could not help myself.

‘Why do you dislike me so much?’

‘Whatever gives you that idea, Jane?’

‘Because of your whole manner towards me. How could I have ever done anything to you for you to treat me with such disdain?’

‘You are your mother’s daughter.’

She almost spat the words at me and I was taken aback.

‘Ladies, ladies!’ Robert’s voice interrupted us as Grandmother spoke up.

‘Jane, Laura, please settle yourselves in the carriage. You are behaving like a couple of fishwives. I am most displeased and what Reverend Tomlinson thought of your rudeness, Jane, I can only imagine. What you have to quarrel about I don’t pretend to understand. Now let us get home and thank goodness only Robert and I had to witness such behaviour.’

I felt quite humbled as Grandmother admonished us and caught the merest of smiles hovering on my aunt’s lips and wondered what secret thoughts she had to smile about. Robert’s face was expressionless and I prayed silently my behaviour had not spoiled our friendship.

On arriving back at Pendenna, Grandmother said she wished to speak with me before luncheon in her room.

Aunt Laura was to accompany her now. As I watched them climb the stairs, I wondered at my aunt’s animosity towards me. I had thought my mother and Aunt Laura to be close.

‘What was that all about, Janie?’

Hearing Robert’s voice beside me, I realised that for once I had forgotten his presence.

‘It was to do with Granny Merriock. Laura seems to think I will not be received well by her but tomorrow I intend to find out as I will visit her cottage and get to the bottom of this.’

‘Then I will accompany you, Jane, and that is an order,’ saying which he placed a finger gently on my lips preventing a reply.

Who was I to argue with this man? I felt sure his only desire was to protect me, but from what?

9

On reaching my room, I remembered Amy’s letter and retrieving it from my reticule, sat by the window to read it feeling quite homesick.

My
dear
Jane
, I read.

How
pleased
I
was
to
hear
all
your
news
at
last
.
I
had
quite
expected
to
hear
from
you
earlier
but
guess
you
and
Molly
are
quite
settled
in
Cornwall
even
though
it
must
be
a
completely
different
way
of
life
to
that
which
you
experienced
here
.
I
am
still
never
without
company
or
some
ball
or
theatre
to
attend
.
I
still
miss
you
greatly
,
dear
Jane
,
and
am
very
afraid
now
that
you
may
not
return
to
live
with
me
at
Grosvenor
Square
.
I
do
not
say
this
to
distress
you
but
I
want
you
to
know
that
I
understand
for
it
is
wonderful
you
have
at
last
met
with
family
of
your
own
.
Think
of
me
as
a
selfish
woman
who
loves
you
but
I
am
prepared
to
relinquish
you
,
my
dear
,
as
long
as
you
are
happy
.

After
all
the
gallant
young
men
I
introduced
you
to
here
in
London
,
each
one
of
whom
you
didn’t
find
the
least
bit
interesting
,
I
now
find
you
have
met
your
match
and
have
lost
your
heart
to
a
man
in
the
remotest
part
of
Cornwall
.
I
hope
all
fares
well
with
this
Robert
Thornton
and
knowing
you
so
well
,
I’m
safe
in
the
knowledge
you
are
a
good
judge
of
character
and
will
,
hopefully
,
not
let
your
heart
rule
your
head
.
Please
write
soon
,
Jane
,
with
your
news
.
In
the
meantime
you
are
ever
in
my
thoughts
and
heart
.

Yours
,
as
always
,
Amy
.

I clutched the letter to me. Dear Amy, how I could use her advice now and was I, quite contrary to her opinion, letting my heart rule my head over Robert? Only time would tell. I tucked the letter in a drawer and quickly prepared myself for luncheon and to face my grandmother.

Standing outside her bedroom door, I straightened the skirts of my day dress and touched my mother’s amethyst brooch, which I treasured so much, hoping to gain some sort of courage from it. I need not have worried, for Grandmother was not as angry as I had expected. She sat by the fire and indicated for me to sit opposite her. I watched the large ring on her hand flash in the firelight.

‘Jane, I am not going to admonish you further over today’s unpleasant incident, but I wish you to tell me what has caused this strife between you and your aunt.’

She leaned back in her chair awaiting my answer.

‘To be truthful with you, Grandmother, I am as perplexed as you except to say that today Aunt Laura intimated it was to do with my mother. This I cannot understand, as reading Mama’s diaries she and Aunt Laura always seemed to be close except...’

I hesitated. Should I tell Grandmother what Mama had written in her diary before she left Pendenna?

‘Except what, Jane?’

She leaned forward in her chair.

‘Tell me, child, for I wish to know. You have not had the happiest of beginnings in life and my heart grieves for your mother for I should have helped her more. Now it is too late, but it is not too late to do the right thing for you. So tell me the truth, please, Jane.’

‘Except for what Mama wrote in her diary,’ I went on. ‘She said Laura had no sympathy for the position she found herself in. It was as if Laura hated her. Why should this be, Grandmother? And why should Aunt Laura dislike me so?’

‘I suspected at the time all was not well between my two daughters and wonder often if it could have been jealousy on Laura’s part although Laura was engaged to be married to Andrew. Your mama was always loved by everyone, including Andrew Trehaine. Laura was always possessive and domineering and Felicity went along with it because she was not of a quarrelsome nature. I can imagine that Laura could have despised your mama for getting herself with child and in some way escaping Laura’s hold over her.’

‘As we are being honest, Grandmother, is it possible that Aunt Laura is jealous of Robert and myself?’

‘Oh, yes, dear, I do. She has had designs on him since the day he stepped through the doors of Pendenna Reach. I know Robert does not reciprocate Laura’s desire for he has told me so, and Laura, too, but Robert is a gentleman and is polite and attentive to her for my sake and for the sake of peace, but your aunt now has you as competition for Robert’s affections and if the affections towards you are realised she would undoubtedly resent you for it.’

‘It would explain much and I must confess to not knowing how to deal with it.’

I sighed and Grandmother leaned forward and took my hand in hers.

‘Tell me, Jane, for I need to know. Is there some affection between you and Robert?’

I did not know how to answer but the old lady coaxed it from me.

‘Come, child, your mother was honest with me, though I could do nothing about the situation. I wish that I had, but for you, dear, I would do anything to further your happiness.’

‘Yes, there is affection, and I believe it to be more than that on my part, for I am sure I love him.’

Grandmother let go of my hand and both her hands flew to her mouth.

‘Jane, Jane, how happy you have made me but the question is, does Robert love you?’

She looked at me with expectation. ‘I cannot say in all honesty for neither of us has declared a love for each other, but I am ever hopeful.’

‘You must tell me, child, how this progresses for I had every hope of this as I have told you before.’

So saying she leaned back in her chair breathlessly.

‘There has been enough excitement for one day and it must be time to go down for lunch.’

‘And what am I to do about Aunt Laura for it worries me so?’

She again leaned forward and patted my hand.

‘Ignore her unpleasantness, Jane, as I do. It is a pity she is this way but Laura has never been a happy girl. Ignore her.’

As we went down to lunch I thought how this advice was easier said than done.

Next morning, Robert, as good as his word, sought me out at breakfast to escort me to Granny Merriock’s cottage. Why he thought I needed him I didn’t know except I remembered my mother’s words —
Granny
Merriock
came
to
the
house
today
and
told
me
to
leave
her
grandson
alone
. Was she hostile towards me, too, because my mother eloped with one of her own? Perhaps I did need Robert after all.

At my insistence, we walked. It was a dry, sunny day although the ground was waterlogged from weeks of rain. The ruts in the lane made by the carriage wheels made walking quite a trial and by the time we had arrived at the cottage my boots were covered in mud as were Robert’s and my skirt was also mud-stained. We had spoken of everything from London to Pendenna, anything except that night alone together in the library. He steadied me several times on the way and his strong arm had encircled my waist, sending my pulse racing. As I made to step up the cottage path, Robert took my arm and drew me back to face him.

‘Don’t expect too much of this visit, Janie. I wouldn’t want you to be hurt and distressed.’

So he thought as Aunt Laura. What did they know that I didn’t but intended soon to find out?

‘Thank you for your concern and support,’ I said and squeezed the hand on my arm. ‘This is something I have to do. She is my kinswoman.’

It was Robert who knocked on the door and it seemed for ever before it slowly opened to reveal Granny Merriock. Close to, she looked much older than I thought at first. Deep lines etched her cheeks and eyes, but her violet-coloured eyes were still sharp.

‘Yes?’ she questioned in a voice far stronger than she looked.

I glanced at Robert before I spoke.

‘Mrs Merriock, I believe I am your great-granddaughter, Jane Merriock, your John’s daughter.’

For what seemed like minutes, she looked me up and down.

‘You are no great-granddaughter of mine. Please close the gate as you leave or the hens will escape.’

She spoke the words quietly but with such underlying venom I felt weak at the knees and tears sprung to my eyes.

Robert again took my arm and gently steered me towards the gate where I collapsed sobbing in his arms. Granny Merriock’s words were so final I knew I could not argue with her. They had both told me, both Robert and Aunt Laura, but why? I vowed to find an answer.

The following morning, my eyes still red from weeping, I felt I needed to escape and have time to think so I decided to go for a ride on my own. After declining Molly’s attempt to arrange my hair, I sent her down to Jack to ask him to saddle Amber for me. Before she left Molly turned at the door.

‘It ain’t my place to say, miss,’ she said, ‘but I see you’ve been crying. It ain’t right you should be sad while I am so happy.’

‘It’s nothing, Molly. Now please run along while I get into my riding habit.’

When she had gone, I dressed myself in my riding clothes. Looking in the mirror, I tossed my long hair behind me, hardly recognising myself. Tapping my riding crop gently on my palm I made my way down the staircase and to my dismay Robert was walking across the hall with, of all people, Alan Lester. He stopped to look up at me, an unfathomable expression on his face, while Mr Lester gazed at me in what appeared disbelief, however Robert found his tongue.