Maybe Baby Lite (13 page)

“
Why’d you do it, Trey?
How could you do that?” I could tell my demeanor had entirely
thrown him off. He'd expected a fight. He hadn't expected this from
me. I couldn't bring myself to argue with him. I'd wanted him to be
proud, maybe even recognize my worth for something, but I'd failed
miserably.

The part that hurt the
most was that for Trey this was nothing more than his need to
control me; someone he barely knew. It was apparent to me that his
need for control surpassed any wants or needs of anyone else.
That's where we were fundamentally different. I'd wanted to
succeed
for him;
I'd wanted to show
him
that in some way I was worthy of his respect and
maybe his affection. Trey wanted something totally different— it
was all about control.

I looked up at him,
searching his eyes for a clue as to why he would embarrass and
humiliate me like this. He clearly didn’t care. He gazed down at
me, the anger completely gone from his face. It was replaced by
something else that was unreadable. It wasn’t pity, regret, or
compassion even; it was something I didn’t recognize.

He put his arms around me
and pulled me close. This was no answer. I pushed away from him,
pulling off the jockey silks that belonged to Sinclair Stables,
holding them out to him. He was confused. He didn’t
move.

“
Here take them,” I said,
tossing the silks at him. “These belong to you, but I sure as hell
don’t.”

He caught the silks; his
eyes not moving from mine. I turned and ran to the jockey’s lounge
grateful it was empty. Once inside, tears flooded down my
cheeks.

In a blur, I got out of my
gear, shoving it all into my backpack and slamming the locker shut.
I went to the sink and splashed cold water on my face to get rid of
the tear streaks. I finally took a deep, calming breath and decided
I could make my exit. I made my way to the back door of the paddock
area, wanting to avoid running into anyone around the track. I
could tell that the race was over and I didn’t give a shit who won.
This was all over for me.

The trail back to the
cabins was dark; I stumbled several times on the path through the
wooded area. Behind me, the racetrack was lit up with a fireworks
show, signaling the end of the racing events for this
evening.

Ahead of me, I could
finally see porch lights on the bank of cottages. They were all lit
except for mine. There was an interior light on inside my cottage.
I didn’t recall having left a light on. Ascending my porch steps, I
scanned the row of cabins. Everyone else was out at the track, or
partying, or on dates. It was eerily quiet around the row of
cottages.

I reached for my doorknob
and it turned freely. I knew that I'd locked it when I left
earlier. I was afraid to go inside. Fumbling for the light switch,
my throat lurched; the bulb in my porch light had been removed. I
peered through the front window but saw that nothing seemed out of
place and no one was lurking inside that I could see. Maybe to be
on the safe side, I should go around the side of the cottage and
check the bedroom window.

Just as I turned around to
leave the porch I collided with a hard chest. My heart raced as I
started to scream. Strong arms reached for me as I started to
struggle. It was Trey.

“
What are you doing here?”
I gasped. He'd just scared the be-Jesus out of me.

“
I just wanted to see
you,” he answered softly.

“
So you come over here and
lurk around so that you can scare the shit out of me? How'd you get
in my cottage?'

“
I did not go inside
Tylar,” he stated, flatly. “I wanted to talk to you so I came here.
I saw you peeking in your own window so I figured maybe you were
locked out."

“
As a matter of fact, my
door is unlocked and lights are on that weren’t on when I left,” I
stated sharply.

His brows furrowed with
concern. “Let me make sure you get settled inside safely,” he
offered. As much as I didn’t need his constant oversight into my
safety and protection, I was a bit creeped out by the current
situation. I nodded my head. He opened the door and went in first.
I followed closely behind him. I stayed in the living area while he
went on into the bedroom then the bathroom. I heard him open the
closet doors, then swing the bathroom door shut making sure no one
was lurking. He came back out, giving me a sheepish
smile.

“
Everything’s clear,” he
said, “no one’s hiding in the closet or behind the shower curtain.
Only things under your bed were a couple of dust
bunnies.”

“
Very funny,” I replied
sarcastically.

His charming manner wasn't
going to melt me so easily this time. For all I knew, he might have
staged the whole thing to create a damsel-in-distress fantasy to
feed his bottomless ego.

He came over to where I
was standing. Despite my skepticism, I couldn't help being
attracted to him. He had his dress pants on, a white shirt with
french cuffs, and a gorgeous tie that very closely matched his
eyes. His sleeves were rolled back a bit and he smelled
great.

I didn’t want to look up
at him because I knew my eyes were red and my face was splotchy
from crying. He pulled me into his strong arms. I didn’t push back
this time. He held me close and I melted. He put one of his hands
behind my neck, capturing my ponytail and twisting it around his
fingers gently. His other hand was on my back, gently rubbing and
pressing me close to his heart.

“
Tylar,” his voice was
gentle but a little husky, and I knew he was going to say something
that would stir up my emotions. I wasn't real sure that I wanted
him to, but I needed to figure out what this man was to me. “I’m
sorry that I had to scratch Jezebel from the race this evening. But
I'll tell you this, if I had it to do over again, I'd do nothing
differently.”

Huh? What kind of a
half-ass apology is that?

I looked up at him
confused.

“
Come here,” he said,
softly, as he moved over to the small sofa and sat down, stretching
his long, well-muscled legs. He pulled me down next to him. I
didn’t object; I didn’t want to look at him while he explained his
whole weirdness and over-protectiveness to me. I knew that was what
this was about.

“
I have a legal and
fiduciary responsibility to this business we call Sinclair
Stables,” he started.

Okay, this is not sounding
romantic whatsoever.

“
You were injured a little
more than a week ago, and it was significant. As your employer, I
have a responsibility to make sure that your working environment is
safe and relatively risk-free. There is a matter of liability
involved.”

Objection: Confusion of
issues!

“
Apart from that,” he
continued, “I can’t get you out of my mind for whatever reason. I
guess this overwhelming concern that I have for your safety has
been causing me to behave in a sort of over-protective
way.”

“
So why did you scratch me
from the race?” I questioned.

He shifted me around a
little, so that I was forced to look at his gorgeous face. “Out of
concern. What if you'd fallen or been thrown? Jockey helmets offer
very little protection. Please agree to pacify me when I make these
requests that are only meant to keep you safe. It won’t be forever,
I promise.”

“
Okay, so what do I get in
return?” I asked, smiling devilishly.

He grinned, dimpling me.
“Hmm, let me think about that…how about you stay on my good
side?”

“
And why is that
important?” I countered.

“
Oh Ms. Preston, or is it
T.J.?” he grinned, “Being on my good side has all kinds of
rewards.”

“
Show me,” I
dared.

Did I really just say
that?

I felt myself
blush.

He pulled me into his lap;
God I remembered how that had felt to have his arms around me the
night at the pull. This was better. He rested his chin on the top
of my head.

“
I’ve missed you for some
reason," he replied. "God knows why that is with your being so damn
stubborn and willful most of the time. You make me crazy, you know
that right?"

"Is that bad?" I
whispered, looking up into his sexy blue eyes.

"It's distracting for me,"
he replied, which told me nothing. All I knew was that whenever he
was near, my heart beat faster and my stomach felt queasy and his
looks
drove me to
distraction
.

I could hear my mom’s
mocking voice. It was as if she was in the room with us daring me
to make the first move; taunting me to let him know what I wanted
and then telling me I'd never be anything to him but a rich man's
whore.

“
Trey,” I whispered
hoarsely, “will you fuck me?”

The words were out of my
mouth before I realized how vulgar I sounded. It was something that
Jenna would have said; it's something that my mother had likely
said many times. It seemed like an eternity since I'd asked the
question and had yet to receive a response. Perhaps if I continued
to mull around these various scenarios I could avoid the obvious,
which was that Trey had not responded to my request. I was afraid
to look at him. I was now totally humiliated, embarrassed, and
ashamed of myself.

“
Tylar,” he said softly,
“look at me.”

I didn’t want to. If I
did, I knew that he would see what I already knew. I was a mess,
incapable of being what he wanted, or what any man would ever want
for that matter. I was damaged goods, but still a virgin. How'd
that happen?

“
Look at me,” he said more
firmly this time.

I was still on his lap.
I'd buried my head against his chest when more than 30 seconds had
passed after the invitation for Trey to fuck me had gone
unanswered. I reluctantly raised my head from his chest, wiping the
tears that had welled up. I looked at him. He gently brushed my
cheek with his hand.

“
Do you want to tell me
what’s going on with you?” he asked softly.

“
I really don’t know,
Trey,” I answered honestly. “Please forget what I just said. I know
how trashy that sounded, and I can’t understand what made me behave
like this with you,” I sniffled.

“
I see,” he replied. “Well
I’m not a virgin, Tylar, so I’m not insulted by your proposition,
just caught off guard by your bluntness, I suppose.”

I hoped that meant that
he'd not found the notion totally distasteful. “I’ve never said
that sort of thing to anyone before,” I admitted
sheepishly.

“
I guessed that,” he
replied with a slight smile.

“
Can I ask you kind of a
personal question, Trey?”

“
Ask away, if it’s none of
your business I'll let you know."

“
Has any other girl—I mean
woman—ever been, uh, that blunt with you before?”

“
Not in my recent memory,”
he admitted chuckling.

Oh that was good; that was
the lawyer coming out. Leave room for the possibility it may have
happened, there just wasn’t any current recollection. I had
another, even more personal question but wasn’t sure how to
approach this one.

“
Can I ask you another
personal question, Trey?”

“
Yep but same rules
apply."

“
Are you and Charlotte, I
mean, well, are you…
intimate?”

“
Why would you even ask a
question like that?”

“
I know, it’s way
personal…all you have to say is that it’s none of my business like
we agreed,” I said, blushing.

“
No,” he laughed
good-naturedly, and continued, “Why would you think I'd want to
make love with Charlotte?”

I smiled to
myself.

“
What?” he
asked.

“
Nothing,” I replied.
“Trey, could we forget any of this happened? The truth is I’ve
really not been myself since the accident in the pool, not to make
an excuse for my behavior.”

He cocked an eyebrow,
considering whether I was genuinely contrite, or simply trying to
save face since it was obvious he’d declined my brazen
request.

“
I’ll tell you what,” he
said smoothly, “why don’t we both forget it, just for now?” He
smoothed my ponytail, gently tugging on it a couple of times,
kissing my forehead. “Okay?”

I nodded, his sweet kiss
on my forehead made me tingle and I so appreciated that he'd left
me with some pride.

“
Now why don’t you scoot
off to bathe and get ready for bed? I’ll stay out here and watch
television until you’re ready. I want to make sure that you're
safely put to bed and no monsters are lingering in the shadows,
okay?”

I started to protest, but
he held up his hand to stifle any response I was considering. “Ah,”
he cautioned, “Just humor me, I want to be sure you’re okay. And
maybe you want to wear the outfit Jenna gave you when you come out
of the shower?” he winked.