Meant To Be (15 page)

“How did I do what?”

“Become established to stand on your own two feet without anyone else.”

She laughed. “Anyone can do it. Your life is what you make of it. All it takes is a little hard work and determination to be successful if you want something badly enough. You just have to figure out what it is that you love and work from there.”

“It’s easier said than done.” Jenna groaned, making Sam laugh.

“
It’s not that hard, Jenna, think about it. What is it that you love the most?”

“
Jayden,” she blurted out without a need to think about it. “I love being able to be there for him, sitting here in the park, helping out at his school, and telling him his favorite bedtime stories at night. I love being a mom, but unfortunately it’s not a job that pays you in money. It pays you in rewards.”

“Well, then, there’s your answer.” Sam said. “Sounds to me like you’ve come up with two options, you either continue what you’re doing and keep the small job at school so that you can be there for him always and maybe build it into more, or you can go into business for yourself and be there for him always. You love telling him his bedtime stories, Jenna, and I’ve heard some of them, they’re not bad. Have you ever thought about trying to write some of them down, maybe try a career creating children’s books to share with others who also enjoy a good bedtime story or two?”

“Children’s books?” The more she thought about it the more appealing the idea became. Maybe that was something she could work on with Jayden. It definitely didn’t hurt to try, and she laughed at the thought. Pitching the idea to Jayden later that night, he seemed just as excited as she was.

Jenna got to work right away and got what she wrote down ‘Jayden approved’ before she would even consider sending them out in an attempt to get published. She wrote three within the first couple months, sent them out, and eagerly awaited a reply.

The first few rejections were the toughest, and then her patience was rewarded when she finally managed to get her first acceptance. Slowly on her way to becoming established, by that time, another six months had passed by.

Just before Christmas, Jenna had more great news. Her publisher had signed her for three more books. As a way to celebrate she was going to dinner with Sam, Jayden, and her parents, when Tyler stopped by without an announcement beforehand.

“
Did I come at a bad time?”

“
We’re going out to dinner.” She extended an invitation for him to join them, but could tell something was up instantly by how uncomfortable he looked.

He shook his head, telling her, “I’d come back, but I really need to talk to you. Do you think you could stay?”

The only reason she agreed, other than her insane curiosity, was because he genuinely looked upset. She sent the others without her, promising that she’d catch up with them.

“Okay,” she said once they were alone. “You’ve got a half hour before I leave. What’s up?”

“I still miss you,” he whispered.

She already didn’t like where he was heading. “Tyler, please don’t start with this. I’m only beginning to get my life back on track, and I can’t afford to take a step backwards.”

“
Fine, it’s Alex. I actually came over here to talk to you about her, hoping that you could be there for Jayden or at least to help me out if he gets upset. Most of all, I’m hoping you don’t hate me even more after this.”

“I’ll definitely be here for you, whenever I can. You know that, and you also know that when it comes to Jayden my answer is clearly the same and then some.” Smiling, she said, “And about hating you more, I’m not sure if that’s humanly possible.”

Teasing him seemed to lighten him up for a brief second when he smiled with her.

“
So what, have you decided to marry her or something?” she asked, and he laughed shaking his head no.

“
Hell, no, although she isn’t opposed to the idea.”

“I’m not a mind reader. You came here to tell me something, so tell me.”

“Jenna, this is hard for me to say. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I don’t want to rub it in anymore than I already have, but you have the right to know. I thought it was fair that you find out first.” He looked away again like he was ashamed. “Alex is pregnant.”

Jenna sat there frozen, trying to collect her thoughts. He’d shocked her all right, and she had mixed feelings about it. In that second, she couldn’t stop thinking about herself and his betrayal. Tyler having a baby with Alex made their relationship so permanent, and although selfish, she couldn’t help but feel the hurt all over again. Just about a year ago to the day, she’d found out about them, and it brought it all back. Now he was sharing the experience of a new life with someone else and she still felt so alone.

Quickly moving her hands away from his, she needed a minute to absorb all of it. She could feel the lump in her throat, and her vision blurred, but she wouldn’t let him see her cry. “I just need a minute.” Clearing her throat, she walked upstairs for privacy.

Her first breakdown since he’d walked out the door the last time, her one weak moment, just as she was beginning to feel strong again, and he had to follow her up the stairs to witness her breakdown.

“Tyler, please,” she begged. She needed some time to pull herself together.

Not listening, he pulled her into his arms. She hadn’t cried that hard in months.

“I’m sorry,” Jenna managed after a few more minutes. “You’re having a baby, and all I can think about is what happened to us a year ago. It’s not fair,” she cried. “I hate being this selfish. I’m so sorry.”

She pulled away, but he continued to follow.

“Not selfish Jenna. I’m sorry, if I could change this I would--” he said.

“
Right,” she snorted in disbelief. “Honestly, Tyler, I’m alright now. You’re having a baby, that should be great news, congratulations.”

“
Congratulations,” he sighed, looking disappointed “It’s nice to see that not everyone is mean.” He smiled, and she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Ya, but you’re the one that chose her,” Jenna answered and actually laughed a little. “She is mean, but mean is what you wanted.” She repeated what Sam had told her, adding a little more to the wisdom. “Life is what you make of it, and you have to live with the consequence of your actions.”

He sighed heavily again, giving her a hug. “I did, but it’s like I told you before, losing you is my biggest regret. I’m always going to love you, and no one could ever replace that. I just screwed it up beyond repair, and now I have to live with those consequences. The toughest part of it is going to be when you actually meet someone that you want to be with,” he admitted. “I have no doubt that it’s going to happen, and I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not going to like it. And, one day you’ll have more children, and I don’t think I’ll be handling it as well as you have.”

The last made her smile. “Are you trying to make me feel better?” she whispered, leaning into him as they sat on the bed.

He sighed again. “If it’s working, I’ll take it. But honestly, Jenna, I’m just telling you the truth. You’re much stronger at handling this kind of stuff than I am.”

“
It’s working,” she teased, making him laugh.

They hadn’t had a decent conversation with each other in so long. Her one weak moment with him led to more. One minute they were laughing and on somewhat good terms, the next, he brought his face closer to hers, and tried to kiss her.

She backed up in disgust to fend him off of her. “No, Tyler, this can’t happen. You and I are over. Don’t make me into the other woman because it won’t happen.” She laughed then with the weird thought. “How is it that I would become the other woman? It’s just too weird.” She shook her head when he didn’t answer. “I think you should get back to your pregnant girlfriend.” She became uncomfortable. It was time to go.

She wasn’t like Alex, and the thought of sending Jayden the wrong signals terrified her. The last thing she needed was for him to feel some kind of hope they would reunite. It just wasn’t going to happen.

“As far as I’m concerned you’re the only woman who matters,” he said, looking hurt by her rejection, but she couldn’t allow herself to feel sorry enough for him to take back.

“
I’ll still be here for you whenever you need me to be, to talk that is.” She wanted to clarify that fact. “And I’ll back you up when you decide to speak to Jayden about the baby, although I don’t think he’ll get as upset as I did.” Then she smiled shyly. “Sorry about that, next time I won’t be so self absorbed.”

They were standing by the front door now. “No, not self absorbed,” he said in disagreement. “You are far from that, and you also have a right to be upset, considering what I threw away.”

She could see that it hurt him just as much as it hurt her; she’d always known that, but it still wasn’t enough for what he wanted and she couldn’t afford a step back.

“
Ya well, thanks for understanding, Tyler, but I really should get going.”

She was grateful that he took the hint before he tried to have another moment with her. There was just no going back.

She smiled, then exhaled loudly seeing his expression as she held open the door. “Good bye Tyler.”

Jenna actually felt bad for him. Bad choices turned into entrapment, and she could see why he wasn’t exactly ecstatic with the idea of a child with Alex. He didn’t love her, and he never looked as happy as he used to, but she also couldn’t help but smile knowing it.

He chose his path and now he had to live with it.

Chapter Fourteen

She was in the white room again surrounded by nothing when Sam appeared. She was shocked, secretly hoping for someone else. She hadn’t had a Brady fantasy for at least a couple of weeks and missed them.

“
Here,” Sam said with a grin. “An early birthday present or call it a late one, whatever makes you happy.”

She held out an envelope to Jenna. Taking it into her hand, Jenna regarded Sam skeptically. “What are you up to? My birthday is not for another five months.”

Inside there were two blank strips of paper. Sam laughed at her confusion. “It’s a surprise, silly, and I can’t go ruining it for you yet. You’ll find out soon enough, and I can’t wait to see your real reaction. I will tell you that it‘s something you‘ve always wanted though.”

Jenna started to get annoyed.

They were in Jenna’s kitchen and everyone was over. Tyler entered, sounding impatient. “Are you coming?” he asked, and like magic Jenna had a cake in her hands for Jayden’s birthday.

As she walked forward, she had a shocking discovery. Alex stood beside her son with her hand on his shoulder. Tyler didn’t usually bring her to these types of events, so Jenna tried hard to compose herself for her son. Alex being included was bound to happen sooner or later.

Alex’s belly was very visibly pregnant and being flaunted in front of Jenna as much as possible. Taking a deep breath, Jenna decided to be the bigger person as she approached.

“
Alex, I wanted to extend my congratulations to you personally.”

Alex smiled, looking smug. “We’re having a girl,” she’d said proudly. “Did Tyler tell you?”

Jenna nodded in response even though he hadn’t. “A girl that’s amazing.” She tried to be enthusiastic.

Sam had her back, coming over for support, starting a conversation with Alex to relieve Jenna of her duty of playing the nice hostess. “Have you thought of any names?” Sam asked.

Without thinking about it, Alex answered. “Skyler because it’s similar to her father’s, and I know they’re going to be close.”