Memo: Marry Me? (10 page)

‘H
AS
Ms Kellaway left her room yet?’ Zach stood in the reception foyer and asked the question of the cheery Manor House owner who stood behind the old-fashioned check-in counter. Zach wanted to dislike the guy, simply because he looked happy.

‘I believe so, but allow me to try the room.’ The man reached for the phone.

‘Thanks.’ Last night gnawed at Zach. The knowledge that he had hurt Lily concerned him most of all, but something else gnawed at him, too. He had made a phone call yesterday on the spur of the moment while Lily had browsed the gift shop at the confectionery factory. Snap decisions weren’t his usual style, but he had made one and acted on it. Now he had to tell Lily about it.

Surely she would welcome a face-to-face meeting with her parents? So why did he feel so uneasy about it now?

Because you know you’ve hurt her. You should have left her alone.

Yes…

He sensed her presence a moment before the owner’s gaze moved beyond him, and the man returned the phone to its cradle.

Zach turned. There were shadows under Lily’s eyes, and in them. His stomach tightened as he acknowledged he had caused those shadows. ‘I tried your room before I came down, but there was no response.’

‘I went for a walk along the creek. The kookaburras gave a morning chorus for me from the gum trees. I’d forgotten what that sounded like.’ Strain rasped in her voice. The same strain he felt inside, but she was putting on a valiant effort at normality. ‘I’m ready to leave any time you like.’

‘You’ve eaten already?’ He had to forget wanting and needing her. For both their sakes, he had to forget.

She folded her arms. ‘I haven’t eaten, but I don’t mind waiting until we get to the airport.’

All her barriers were up again, only this time it was worse. ‘I invited your parents to have breakfast with us this morning.’ He could see no other way to tell her, and the older couple should be here any minute. ‘I thought you might enjoy a chance to see them. I meant to tell you yesterday afternoon, but it slipped my mind.’

His thoughts had been wrapped up in her.

At his announcement, her face closed up. She drew a sharp breath. ‘How do you even know?’

‘That they live in Albury-Wodonga? I heard the woman from the tour group say so yesterday.’ He had only half tuned in to the conversation, but had heard that much before they’d moved out of range. ‘It prompted me to try to give you some time with your family.’

‘I’m not useless and incapable of expressing the desire to fit a visit with my parents into our schedule.’ Her low words struck out at him. ‘If I’d wanted to do it, I would have.’

‘I’ve made a mistake, haven’t I? I’m sorry. After last night — ’

‘Last night has no bearing on anything.’ She kept her voice low, but each word rejected him. ‘We both got carried away by desire when we should have controlled it. But you’ve made it clear you didn’t really want even a one-night stand with me, and I hope I’ve made my opinion clear now, too. Anything we thought we had is finished.’

‘I stopped to protect
you
, Lily.’

‘Whatever you say.’ She obviously didn’t want to believe him. ‘Well? Where’s this breakfast taking place?’ Her face tipped up and her mouth firmed. She stalked towards the dining room. ‘We’re meeting them here, I assume?’

‘That’s right.’ He watched her move to a table for four, choose a chair and sit in it, her back ramrod-straight.

Zach cautiously took his own seat beside her. He had only just done so when a middle-aged couple entered the dining room and quickly scanned it. When they spotted Lily and Zach seated side by side, they hurried over.

‘Mr Swift. How nice of you to invite us to join you.’ Lily’s mother, thin, well-kept and…hard-looking…allowed her husband to seat her to Zach’s left at the table. ‘You must call me Dorothea, and my husband is Carl.’

‘And I’m Zach.’ He forced a smile, disconcerted by that rigid edge in the older woman. Physical similarities to Lily were there. They shared the same slim build, the same straight nose. Both had blue eyes, but Lily’s were usually warm. Dorothea’s seemed curiously devoid of life.

Lily’s father, round-framed glasses perched high on the bridge of his nose, gave Zach a thoughtful examination. Her father wore his grey beard and hair cropped close, and was tall with slightly stooped shoulders. He shook Zach’s hand. ‘I’ve read about a number of your success stories. You’ve dealt with quite a few influential and important people.’

Zach returned their greetings, but his attention was fixed on Lily’s silent presence beside him as the small but salient facts began to sink in.

Her parents had taken their seats without more than a glance in her direction. No hellos. No,
it’s wonderful to see

you.’
No kisses, no hugs. They had greeted
him
, and ignored their daughter. Why?

‘Hello, Dad. Mum.’ Lily’s carefully controlled voice revealed no feeling. ‘You both look well.’

‘Run ragged with the usual volunteer work, but we’re keeping our heads above water.’ Her mother dispensed the response, and turned to Zach again. ‘We do our best to be community-minded, you know.’

‘A trait your daughter appears to have inherited.’ He said it without inflection while his mind grappled with the realisation that her parents appeared more interested in him, and in themselves, than in Lily.

His conversation with Lily about last night hung over him, too, unresolved and uncomfortable. He wished they could be alone to maybe try to discuss things further. But then, what good would that do? Nothing had changed. ‘Lily, too, is an active volunteer.’

‘Really?’ Dorothea Kellaway seemed to flounder. ‘Well, I’m sure that’s very nice.’

After an awkward pause, Lily’s mother turned to her. ‘Where do you volunteer? Is it any place that would know of, er, that would know your family?’

‘I volunteer at the brain institute that helped with my rehabilitation after I moved to Sydney.’ Lily’s gaze was guarded, but also challenging.

Zach saw the pain in the backs of her eyes, and the spark of rebellious anger before she spoke again. ‘I also run my own temp secretary agency, which is why I’m working for Zach at the moment. None of this has ever been a secret.’

‘Well, we’re always so busy when we phone you.’ Her mother toyed with the edge of the table cloth. ‘If there’d been more time to talk, perhaps — ’

‘You mean when I phone you.’ Lily corrected gently. ‘It’s funny how things can get confused. Like some of my old friends thinking I’d moved overseas.’ She looked away, but not before Zach saw her swallow hard.

Her mother had told people she was out of the country? It didn’t take a genius to add it up. Her father hadn’t said much, but this woman who called herself Lily’s mother was ashamed of her! Zach’s fists clenched beneath the table as he fought to control his reaction, his fury.

Lily’s father cast a suspicious glance in his wife’s direction.

‘Well, I’d thought you might like to travel.’ Dorothea almost snapped the words at her daughter. ‘You didn’t want the sanatorium, but your father and I set up an allowance so you wouldn’t have to expose yourself.’

‘But I’ve looked after myself. I haven’t needed your allowance, or to be locked away.’ Lily’s low words brought a tight look to her mother’s face before the older woman shifted her gaze.

‘Let’s order.’ Lily’s father spoke hurriedly.

A mixture of emotions stormed through Zach. Regret. Anger. Pride and fury. This wretched meeting was at his instigation, and the knowledge sat hard with him. Could he make things
any
worse for Lily?

‘How is your agency going, Lilybell?’ Her father raised his menu and buried his nose in it, but looked at her over the top with what might have been regret.

Lily lifted her menu, too, and her face softened as she looked at her father. ‘It’s flourishing.’

‘Hmm. Well, I’m glad.’ He disappeared into his menu again, thus avoiding a glare from his wife.

Dorothea plucked the menu wordlessly and rudely from Lily’s hands, and Zach’s gaze narrowed once again.

The waitress appeared.

Lily’s chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, and Zach thought he could just, quite possibly, be on the verge of committing a crime of violence. Wringing Dorothea Kellaway’s neck held a certain appeal.

Zach leaned towards Lily on a well of fierce protectiveness and deep regret. He set his lips against her ear. ‘Let me end this. We’ll just go.’

‘No.’ Steel threaded the single word. ‘I’m not a coward.’

Dorothea hustled out her order to the waitress. ‘And you can bring toast and a glass of water for Lily.’

Lily smiled nicely for the waitress as she turned to her. ‘Actually, I’d like a pot of tea, yoghurt and stewed fruit, and toast and marmalade. Do you have low-fat French vanilla yoghurt?’

‘Yes, we have that.’ The waitress returned the smile and made a note on her order pad.

After a disapproving hesitation, her mother subsided.

Lily’s father made his order in a subdued voice. Zach barely noticed, because he was seething so deeply it was all he could do to breathe normally and not start breaking things. He hadn’t realised he had gripped Lily’s hand beneath the table until she made a soft gasping sound and pulled it away.

‘Toast. Bacon and eggs. Coffee. Juice.’ He bit the words out, and made sure he gave the waitress eye contact to let her see he wasn’t angry with her. ‘Thank you. As quickly as you can manage it would be helpful.’

‘So, Mr and Mrs Kellaway. How do you pass your time in Albury-Wodonga?’ He’d forget calling them by their first names. They’d done nothing to warrant familiarity — quite the opposite, as far as Zach was concerned! ‘Aside from your charitable works, that is?’

His jaw clamped, but words emerged through his clenched teeth. ‘It’s clear you haven’t followed Lily’s progress at all, which astounds me, considering she’s forged a brilliant new career for herself in Sydney.’

‘Zach.’
Lily stiffened her spine even more than she already had.

Her father cleared his throat. ‘I hold a management position at Towers University. Lily studied psychology there before — ’

‘I support Carl, of course.’ Lily’s mother quickly jumped in. ‘A good man needs a strong woman behind him. We have quite a position in the community, you understand.’ A tinkling laugh followed this pronouncement. ‘One has to work to achieve such respect, but we don’t mind, do we, dear?’

The food arrived. Lily’s mother watched her eat her fruit and yoghurt as though she expected one or both to explode out of her bowl at any second.

Zach pushed his food around his plate, and wanted to stop all pretence of civility. He wanted to confront these people openly and utterly, and make them account for their behaviour towards their daughter.

For Lily’s sake, he stuck with stilted, tedious small talk while the guilt for making this happen ate at him.

The moment the meal ended, he got to his feet, and took Lily’s elbow in a tender hold that he hoped expressed the regret he couldn’t yet speak out loud.

As she rose in response to his guiding grip, he offered a stiff nod to the two who remained seated at the table. ‘We need to go. Lily and I can see ourselves off, so please don’t get up. Finish your meal.’

‘Goodbye, Mum.’ Lily’s gaze searched her mother’s face before she turned to look at her father. Her expression softened a little. ‘Bye, Dad. It was good to see you.’

Zach respected and admired her all the more just then as she gave her parents such courtesy. He managed not to express the wish that their remaining breakfast choke them. Instead he nodded, and hustled Lily out of the room.

The accommodation was pre-paid. Their bags waited at the ready for them. Zach passed several large bills to the owner. ‘For the restaurant costs, if you wouldn’t mind settling it once our guests leave. Please keep the change.’

A bag in each hand, he led the way towards the hire car. With each step, the fury he had suppressed during the meal rose. Those people, who called themselves her parents, treated Lily like an embarrassment. Particularly her mother, but her father shouldn’t hide in silence while it happened.

His Lily.

They had apparently done so from the day her brain had been damaged, and somehow Zach doubted they had
ever
been particularly effusive in showing their love to her.

‘You’re twice as smart, innovative and capable as most people I could name.’ He gritted the words as he flung their luggage into the back of the car and rounded it to get into the driver’s side. ‘They should acknowledge that fact!’

Lily climbed inside the car, too. ‘What right have you got to say anything?’

She was right, but her parents should be shouting her praise from the rooftops, and showing people how proud they were of her. If she were his to keep, to have and to hold —

His breath caught as he realised the significance of those thoughts, and the long-term commitment they suggested. Well, if he had Lily in that way, if that miracle somehow happened — which it never would — he would praise her and be proud of her, and so much more.

Because he didn’t trust his emotions, he subsided into tense silence.

They were halfway to the airport before Zach calmed down enough to notice that Lily was still silent too. He immediately turned off the road onto a tree-shrouded laneway and stopped the car. An apology was nowhere near enough, but he had to express his regret.

‘I’m completely at fault for what happened back there.’ He wanted to take her hand in his, but knew if he tried she would probably reject him again. So he told her the truth, and hoped it would go some way towards healing the fresh wound of this morning’s meeting. ‘Aside from last night, I can’t think of a time when I’ve disliked myself more.’

Every word felt inadequate, but he pushed on. ‘I should have asked if you’d like to see them. If I’d thought about the fact that you didn’t speak of them much, I might have realised…’

His words trailed off, and he sought her gaze with a searching glance. ‘I don’t expect you to forgive me for arranging that episode, but I am sorry.’