Metanoia (5 page)

“
Just explain. Explain why
I’m here, how you all know me. What do you want from me, and what
is this about a prophecy?” She waited for Leyance to respond, but
he just stood silently for a long time.

“
I will, but I just can’t
now. You are too over-tired for this, but I promise, I swear I will
tell you soon. Fheyrhil made me promise not to, but you have a
right to know. It’s your choice and since you wish it, I swear I
will tell you,” he vowed. He turned to leave, but again turned back
to face Gina. “I will tell you soon, and then I’m sorry to say that
your journey and confusion will really begin.” With that he turned
and left. Gina felt warm tears begin to trickle down her cheek. She
wanted to go home. She hated being lonely and confused and
confined. The tears she had held back for so long finally began to
flow.

Chapter 3

“Becoming the Memory”

Gina lay in bed staring at the night sky
above her glass ceiling. So many thoughts swirled around her head
that no complete idea took shape. She realized in her heart that if
she knew what everyone else was keeping from her, life would never
be the same again. It would complicate everything to the point of
no return, but the very fact that something that life-changing was
right underneath her nose was killing her. Everyone in this land
knew this critical thing about Gina but her. Finally, she tossed
off her sheets and threw on a gossamer robe. She heaved open her
double doors and ran out.

She ran down the steps from the manor and
followed the path by the river, now lit by the lights dancing in
the water. She had no idea where she was going, nor if there was
any place to go. But still she ran. Rounding a bend, she saw a
small overgrown path leading to a clearing with lights a little way
down. Quietly, Gina started down the old trail, jumping at every
little noise she heard. Finally she crossed the threshold into the
clearing. The absolute beauty she saw took her breath away. This
small cove had a large pond deep enough for swimming with
overhanging rocks in front of thick trees on one side, blocking
sight from any onlookers on that face. The side of the cliff
blocked yet another and the thick trees and bushes completed the
circle. The cliff housed a waterfall that fed into this pond. This
was Gina’s first look at Nythagién water at night. Lights lit up
the water, though they seemed to be coming from no source. Lights
even flickered down the waterfall. Gina climbed up the rocks a
little way to a flat boulder that made a perfect bench above the
water. She rolled up her pajamas and stuck her feet in the water.
The coolness soothed her nerves and relaxed her tired feet. All
worries were swept away as she enjoyed her own company in this
secluded place.

Gina awoke with a start. She looked around
her and at first could not distinguish where she was. Then she
remembered: she was still at the cove and the sun was just
beginning to share its morning glow. Gina got up as quickly as she
could and ran down the hidden path to the main road along the
river. While running towards the manor, she glanced behind her at a
noise when suddenly she hit something. The impact flung her to the
ground, and she quickly looked up to see what she hit.

“
Where are you going in
such a big hurry?” Leyance was smiling down at her. Gina breathed a
sigh of relief and took his outstretched hand to help her
up.

“
I’m sorry; I wasn’t
looking where I was going,” explained she.

“
That’s apparent. I’ve been
looking all over for you. Why are you up so early?”

“
Me? Well what about you?
Why were you looking for me? How did you even know that I was
awake?” Leyance laughed and turned to look at the water.

“
You caught me,” he smiled.
“I knocked on your door but didn’t hear any sign of your presence.
I went inside and when I didn’t find you, I came looking. I thought
you might be making a run for it. I’m glad you’re alright; I was
worried.”

“
Why? I’m not in danger or
anything.”

“
I know, it’s just…well I
can only imagine your confusion right now, and I just wanted to
make sure you were alright, that you hadn’t tried to run away or
anything.”

Gina smiled. “No, I didn’t try to run away. I
just needed someplace to myself for a while. What time is it
anyway?”

“
About six o’clock. It’s
still early,” he replied.

“
And why did you come
looking for me in my room at six o’clock?” Leyance didn’t answer
but Gina guessed. “You were going to tell me about the prophecy,
weren’t you?”

“
I might have had that
intention, but I am glad I didn’t find you until I had the chance
to rethink the mistake I was about to make.”

“
What mistake?! I am in the
dark about this. And yes, I know that this new information will
very much confuse me, but maybe it will bring new light to this
situation and bring me understanding as well. It’s worst to taunt
me about this than to just tell me.” Leyance went and sat by the
river’s edge and Gina silently followed, anxiously waiting for him
to speak. He didn’t. Gina gazed at the other bank. Up that hill she
saw many houses, all of which were dark. The rest of the world was
still sleeping. Just when Gina couldn’t stand the silence anymore,
Leyance opened his mouth, and the story regarding the prophecy
flowed out.

“
There was a wonderful
queen who reigned years ago. She was fair and kind, and everyone
loved her. She used to say that her people’s hearts belonged to
her, yet her heart belonged more so to them.” He smiled remembering
the days long lost. “In those days, evil was all around, yet every
time it was afoot, she knocked it down. She always fought bravely
and sacrificed herself to save others. A prophecy was made when she
was young that said while fighting a certain evil, she would be
killed, and then reborn in another world, yet she would not
remember who she had been. Shortly she would recall her memories,
but through some form of evil. It was never specified what that
evil was, or if it would destroy her or if she would defeat it. We
believe that queen is you.” Leyance glanced up to see Gina’s face
which was in a state of pure disbelief.

“
What?! You have to be
mistaken. I’m not a queen, and there is no way I could fight evil.
I mean you saw me with that Übel; I was so terrified I couldn’t
move,” Gina exclaimed.

“
You just don’t
remember…”

“
Yeah, but what’s the
difference between not acting like the self you cannot remember and
not being that someone at all?”

“
We have good reason to
believe it’s you, Gina.”

“
What are the reasons? How
could you possibly be sure that it’s me?” Gina stammered. Leyance
just looked away, obviously not wanting to tell her his proof. He
got up and turned to Gina.

“
I better go,” he said. “I
just hope I did the right thing in telling you.” He started off but
then stopped. Without turning back to Gina, he addressed her once
more. “If it helps you any to know, your name means ‘queen’,” he
said and with that, he turned and walked away just as the sun rose
above the cliff. Gina sat on the ground, disbelief of the whole
situation weighing her down. The new day had begun.

An hour later, Gina was knocking on the
council room’s door. Fheyrhil called for her to come in, so she
opened the door and entered. He sat at the table, papers
surrounding him and looking very preoccupied.

“
It hurts me to put more
pressure on you,” Fheyrhil began, “but we must discuss some legal
matters.”

“
About what? What matters
could concern me?” she asked, completely forgetting her recently
obtained information.

“
Your first royal duties
concern you quite greatly,” he responded, smiling. “I had hoped to
wait until later to bestow this information and its corresponding
duties on you. However, since Leyance decided that you needed to
know before the approved time, then there is really no need to wait
on these matters.”

“
It doesn’t matter if I am
the queen or not, does it? You’re going to have me fill the role
anyway.”

“
You will be required to
act as such for the time being, yes. You should stay in this
position until the real queen returns, whatever time proves that to
mean,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes. He continued. “The queen’s
people have been without you for many years and know of your
arrival here. I am asking you to address them. You have to give
them some hope. You must tell them that they have not waited in
vain. All I ask is that you give a speech about what you are
currently feeling. Tell them you will try to rule for now as well
as you can.”

“
Rule? You want me to
actually rule? I can’t!”

“
You can. Believe in
yourself, and we will help you along the way.”

“
What are you talking
about? I don’t belong here!”

“
I thought you said that
about the other world.”

Gina was silenced. He was right. How could he
know that? “Do I really have to do this? I’ll mess everything up
here. I know nothing about this place! How can I possibly rule
it?”

“
You have to. You are
certainly capable. You did it successfully before. I realize that
you do not believe you were her. These people lost someone very
dear to them, someone they loved. Without that person, a part of
them is missing. That is what true love is: when you feel a part of
yourself is missing because the one you love is gone. You have to
help them. Try to fill the gap just a little. You have already
helped to heal their broken hearts by your mere presence here. You
have the power to make these people feel better. Use
it.”

“
When do you want me to
address them?” Gina sighed, giving in.

“
This afternoon,” he
responded as Gina just stared at him. Her face showed her disbelief
that such an address would be able to be done so soon.

“
No way, I can’t do it
today! I can’t even do it in a week!”

“
It can be done and must
be. You have the rest of the morning to prepare.” He turned and
walked out the door. In a huff, Gina marched towards the door just
as Leyance entered.

“
What?” he
asked.

“
I royally hate this,” Gina
replied and pushed past him.

Only ten minutes remained until Gina would
have to speak to the Nythagiéns. She paced back and forth in the
room adjacent to the balcony she would have to speak from. She was
dressed in a governmental dress (much like the normal dresses, but
with sashes of royalty in the design) and a crown on her forehead
as was custom in Nythagié. Leyance once again was present and sat
in the corner observing her.

“
You’ll be fine. All you
need to do is speak to them as you would speak to anyone else,” he
said.

“
Easier
said then done” was her reply. “In only a few minutes I am supposed
to go out there and talk to a bunch of people whom I don’t know. I
have to tell them what I’m feeling when
I
don’t even know what I’m feeling.
I have to become their ‘queen’ when I flat out don’t want to. I
know I always dreamed of being someplace like here, but I don’t
want it anymore. I really should have been more careful about what
I wished for. I want to go home. I’m trapped here.” She paused.
“That’s it - I can’t take it anymore. I’m leaving.” Gina made way
for the door, but Leyance dived in front of her, blocking her only
escape.

“
Don’t. Please, Gina,
don’t. I know this is hard but don’t leave me…here that is, to tell
everyone that the one they’ve wanted to return for so long has just
abandoned them. Just tell them what you’re feeling at least. You
don’t want to hurt us do you?” Leyance tried to look Gina in the
eyes but she avoided his gaze.

“
No,” she whispered. “I
don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“
Then don’t talk like that
and stay here. We can’t loose you again,” he responded and with
that, he brought Gina close to him and wrapped his arms around her.
He whispered in her ear, “You’ll do fine. You’re strong” and then
gave her a gentle nudge towards the balcony. Taking a shaky breath,
Gina walked out onto the terrace. Cheers immediately rang out. This
sudden eruption of noise shocked and terrified her. She took a step
backwards and contemplated running away, but Fheyrhil had just
passed the threshold of the main entrance to the terrace. He gave
her a friendly warning with his eyes as he stepped up to the
microphone-like instrument in the center of the balcony.

“
My fellow residents, we
have been through good and bad, thick and thin – and always made it
through. The main reason is because of a beautiful and brave queen
we all hold dear to our hearts. She was taken away from us,
greedily stolen – but no longer is she separated from her people.
She has returned to Nythagié to continue her reign. She will free
and protect our people from evil. Sure enough you want to rest your
patient eyes on the individual whom you’ve waited all these years
for, so here she is – Regina, queen of Nythagié!” More cheers
erupted from Fheyrhil’s introduction, and Gina timidly made her way
to the railing of the balcony. Without a single thought crossing
her mind, she spoke.

“
Umm,
hi,” she began shakily.
Oh my God,
“umm,hi?” What am I thinking!
she thought
but the crowd erupted in cheers anyway. “I really don’t know how to
address you the way I’m expected to. Wow, there are certainly a lot
of citizens here, huh?” She laughed nervously. “Well, to begin
with, I guess I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for welcoming me
so kindly as you have.