Microsoft Word - Illicit Desires ePub.doc (7 page)

anything else at that moment—but I wouldn't push my luck any further.

While I was waiting for sleepiness to overcome me, I kept on staring at the tattoo that

covered the biggest part of the skin between his shoulders along with most of his upper

back.

I raised a hesitant hand to touch and slowly trace it, ever so tenderly, with my pointer

finger. I knew better than to do that, but it was calling to me. I wanted to trace the elegant

letters, which formed the shape of a word that I could never understand, with my finger.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it mean?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"It means,
'Mind your own fucking business, and keep your fucking hand to yourself, '"
He shifted

away from me, shrugging my hand off with his shoulder.

It wasn't something that surprised me. Maybe a few months ago, it would have, but now

I was used to that cruelty from him. I sighed and dropped my hand to rest beside me on the

bed, my thoughts going here and there. After a while, I thought Adrian was back to sleep, so

I raised my hand to touch his back again.

This time, however, I traced the scar on his lower back. It was on the right side of his

back. It was a lean line more like a bow, and the end of it almost touched the waistband of

his boxers. I wondered if the pinkish color of it matched my own scar; after all, we both got

them at the same time.

My mind drifted back to the memory of the day when we got those scars. With a lot of

twins, one baby would be weaker than the other, and I got that part. I was born with bad

kidneys. They were lazy at first—not doing their jobs right. For twelve long years, I lived

with them, but I was okay … in most ways. Maybe I was a little weak, but it wasn't really

bad.

Then, suddenly, my body wouldn't accept anything as a treatment, and my kidneys

stopped working at all.

Long story short, I was put on the waiting list for a transplant, waiting for someone to

die
and give me his or her kidneys or even just one kidney. My parents had a hard time

waiting for me to reach the top of the list; my dad could do nothing about it even with all of

his influence and everything. It took too long, and I was losing hope, but I was okay with

that, too. I only hated that I was going to cause them all pain if they lost me.

Adrian, on the other hand, was dying
literal y
. He couldn't bear the thought of me

leaving and never coming back. I tried soothing him, but I was helpless.

In the end, Adrian said that he would give me one of his kidneys.

I refused it. I rejected it. I turned down all of his attempts to convince me. My parents

weren't saying anything about it. The lives of their children were on the line, and I think they

just didn't know how to react.

It took just one declaration by Adrian that he would take his own life if I ever died for

me to agree. My body accepted my twin's kidney easily. It worked inside me like it was mine,

and I was feeling better than at any time before. The doctors said that it was because we

shared the same blood type, genes, DNA, and we were even almost the same height and

weight, back then.

I let out another sigh at the thought; he was now much, much bigger than I, taller, and

all muscles and—man. I heard him taking a deep breath as my finger traced his scar one

more time.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked in a whisper.

He didn't reply except with a soft sigh.

"I mean … thinking about what you once did before to risk your own life to save

mine… Why all the bother? You could've just let me die." His body tensed a little at the

sound of my words, yet he said nothing.

"Why do you hate me, Adrian?" I repeated.

He turned around and laid on his back. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before he

looked at me.

"I don't hate you, Lily. Never have and never will.”

Wel … B.S.

"You made it clear that you do a long time ago, Adrian."

He moved to lie on his side and face me. Right then, I felt his touch on my cheek,

wiping away my tear.

"Lily," he whispered—the sweetest sadness filling his eyes, "I love you more than

anything or anyone in the whole world. Please, don't ever doubt that."

"But—"

"I know. I know I've been a douche to you since … well, forever, but … there are

things going on inside of me … changes … things tha—"

"Tell me, Adrian."

"I can't … I can't tell you, Lily." He held my hand. "I have to suffer with this all alone.

If I could ever tell anyone about it, you'd be the last person."

"Why? What does it have to do with me?"

"I can't explain… The only thing I can say is that … being close to you … makes it

harder
on me," he said.

More silent tears ran down my cheeks. He wiped them away again, closed his eyes

tightly shut, took a deep breath, and then pressed his lips to my forehead. "I would never

stop loving you, baby sis." He smiled with a hint of tears in his eyes. "No matter what."

I couldn't believe that Adrian was saying those words when I’d thought he hated me.

Dad was right; Adrian was suffering through changes like he’d said … but I couldn't

understand the part about it having anything to do with me being close to him.

I smiled sadly at his words. "And I you, Adrian."

"I know," he whispered back.

I wanted to hug him, to bury my head in his chest, and just lose myself in the safety and

peace he always offered me, but I couldn't be that selfish person and ignore his feelings. He

said he didn't want me that close, so I would keep my distance.

I felt his hand on the hollow between my breasts, touching it so tenderly. His fingertips lingered on my

skin, sending chills al over my body
—
perfect, wonderful chills. Then, those chills rested al in my now-heated

center.

I felt his lips on my neck
—
kissing me lightly, but hungrily
—
and it felt amazing. His breaths on my

neck felt almost real. So real. Part of me thought for a second that I was still awake and this actual y was

happening to me in reality, but I shrugged it away.

Reality could never feel that good.

His hand rested on my side. He pul ed me into him, and I felt his erection, which made me even wetter.

He was hard for me.

I wanted to open my eyes and look at him, but I didn't want to end this dream just yet
—
not this time.

This time was way better than any other dream I'd ever had before.

I felt his tongue on the skin behind my ear, and I moaned softly. He stopped, but I didn't want him to

stop.

I was so afraid that this wonderful feeling would end, but moments later he went back to kissing my

neck until he reached my collarbone.

So freaking good.

I moaned again when he held my breasts softly, squeezing them a little bit
—
ever so gently
—
but this

time he didn't stop at the sound of my moan; he moaned back instead.

Even in my sleep, I was too dizzy to do anything when he turned me onto my back and pressed his body

gently over mine. His hand touched the skin of my stomach from under my little tank top, and then I felt his

lips touching where his hand had rested a second ago.

He spent his time there and drove me crazier with lust.
This dream was so freaking better than any

other dream I had ever had!

I gasped when he hooked his fingers in the waistband of my boy shorts. Excited at the thought of what

he would do next, I raised my hips a little, helping him to take them off of me
—
and he did.

I even felt the air hitting my newly exposed skin. It felt so real, so real to the point that it felt surreal.

His hands wandered a little on my legs and thighs. Then, he ever so slowly separated them with his

hands. I heard him gasping and moaning at the same time, though I didn't know how.

His lips lingered al over my inner thighs, and then his breaths were right on my womanhood.

Oh, God! So damn good! Oh, my God!

I let out soft moans over and over again with every kiss he left on my skin. Then, al of a sudden, he

stopped.

God! No! Don't stop now! I want more! I screamed at him in my head, afraid to speak and end this

outstandingly hot dream.

His lips stayed on my lower lips, but he wasn't moving them, he just left them there. His breaths alone,

though not his soft lips, were driving me even crazier if that was possible.

I felt the tip of his tongue reaching out to enter my lips. Then, he separated my thighs a little more with

his hands, which had never left them, and separated my folds with them in the process.

He moaned into my sex as he licked it like his life depended on it, and it was too much for me to keep

holding in my moans.

My hips raised a little to meet his tongue on my sex, and I opened my eyes while

gasping and moaning like there was no tomorrow. I cursed myself mentally for opening my

eyes and ending this.

But…

The dream.

Didn't.

Stop!

Uh… Why can I still feel it even with my eyes wide open? Where am I? Oh, yeah… Adrian's roo
—

What the heck?

I raised my head to look at what was happening to me … only to find my brother's head

buried between my thighs!

"Adrian! Oh my God!" I gushed.

Like always, I woke up to the sound of my annoying damn alert,
Beeb Beeb, Beeb Beeb, Beeb

fucking
Beeb
! I tried changing the stupid tune more than once but every time I did, it would

go back to this shitty tune – I didn't know why – that always woke me up with a bad mood.

Like I needed the extra annoying shit!

I got out of my bed with a groan and headed to the bathroom. It was locked, which

meant my sister was in there.

"Lily! I need the fucking bathroom," I called.

"No, you don't. I just got in the tub!"

"Tub?! Are you fucking kidding me? It's six in the morning!"

"So?"

"I have to fucking pee!"

"Piss off, Adrian!"

Minx!

I couldn't wait any longer, so I decided to just go to the guest bathroom downstairs. I

would deal with her later.

I finished my business and left the bathroom after drying my hands with a small towel,

hoping that Lily would be done soon so I could take my shower.

"Adrian!" I didn't know that my mother would be awake at this time, but of course …

she was. I knew immediately what was going to happen and why she stopped me with a

gasp.

Aaaaaand, I'm in deep shit!

I froze in my place, my back facing her, giving her a clearer view of what she had

stopped me for.

Fuck! I should've worn a shirt!

"Yes?" I replied, still not facing her.

Maybe she just woke up and she'l think it's a dream? Maybe she won't see it?

Yeah, sure… It's not like it's covering a quarter of your back or anything.

Damn it!

"Look at me!" she ordered.