Mine to Fear (4 page)

“
He's right,” Cynthia says, though I
can tell it makes her nervous by the way she twists her hands
together. “Take him with you. Please give my love to Serena.” Her
voice aches with longing.

“
Of course I will.” I give her a tight
hug. “I hope to see you soon.”

She hugs Lukas. “Come back to me.”

“
You know I will,” he
replies.

They kiss, fierce and loving. I turn away to
give them privacy. At least someone understands what love is.

L
ooking at the
house Serena's staying in, I'm grateful for the choice to come here
instead of Zade's, even if it meant taking longer to get here.
Lukas got us here safel
y
, so
hopefully he can return the same way. And now I'm not only where I
need to be, but I don't have to face Zade's wrath
quit
e
yet. Unless he's
visiting Serena.

I gulp past the thought, even though it's
highly likely, especially the way things have been going since our
arrival. When Zade and Chadwick find out I'm not only here, but
I've brought Tawny with me, there will be two very angry
warlocks.

At least, I assume there'll be two.
Perhaps it will be only my brother and not the man everyone expects
me to marry. It's been so long since I've heard from Chadwick.
Maybe he doesn't care where I am. Maybe he's so wrapped up in the
reason he left Envado in the first plac
e
to help the Chardonian people
that I'm only a distant
memory. I don't know if the thought is for better or worse.
Whichever it is, I have to find him and deliver the message from my
father in person.

They'll soon know we're here, if they don't
already. Warlocks are visibly guarding the house, not even trying
to hide like when I left. Have things gotten worse here as
well?

“
Let's go see Serena.”

Tawny follows me and Lukas up the walkway.
“Does she know I'm coming?”

More trouble. “I told her someone was
joining me.”

“
But she doesn't know who I
am.”

“
I told her your name,” I
hedge.

She gives me a look. “But not who I am.”

“
Fine. I didn't tell her of your
previous relationship with Zade.” I eye Lukas, knowing I can trust
him, but it's probably best to keep her identity from being spread
around even with those we trust. “Or anything else.”

Her entire posture takes on a regal bearing.
“She needs to know. About me and Zade at least.”

At least she agrees about keeping her
royalty status under wraps, even if it's clear just by the way she
acts. “I know. Only there are more pressing things happening than
just relationships.” And it makes me feel like the worst friend for
keeping their former engagement a secret. Why am I doing this?

“
True. It's not as if I'm here to
steal Zade.”

Lukas gives her a sharp look. She'd better
not be. As much as she's a friend to me, and possibly even my
future queen, I won't let anyone put Serena through more grief.

Before I can reply, the door bursts open,
and Serena’s coming to me with a big grin on her face. “I can't
believe you're here! I didn't know if I would ever see you
again.”

“
It was only a little over a week.”
But I hug her tight anyway like it's been years.

“
Let's get inside,” she says when I
let her go, eying Tawny.

She ushers the three of us in quickly,
looking around as if there's something to fear. If I hadn't already
known things were getting worse, this would confirm it. When she
closes the door behind us and bolts it, her entire body eases.

“
How about I make you a treat?” I
say.

“
You just got here. You don't need to
cook anything,” Serena says as she leads us through the
house.

“
Hasn't it been too long since you had
cinnamon cookies?”

She laughs. “You know my weakness, but if
you want time to settle in first, it's fine.”

“
I can settle later. Food is much more
important.” Always more important than dealing with necessary
chores.

She leads us to the kitchen, which is
smaller than Zade's or even the house that's now her father's
again, but it’s workable. I don't hesitate to get cooking, looking
through cupboards and pulling things out.

“
How are your mother and the
girls?”

“
Who's this you brought with you?”
Serena asks, ignoring my question.

It must be really bad for them. Maybe I
don't want to know how bad until there's something I can do about
it. Still, I will try to find out when she seems more open to
talking.

Tawny is graciously waiting next to a wall,
looking so regal I expect any moment to have one of them shout that
I've brought royalty with me because I'm a dunce. And an even
bigger dunce for not giving introductions right away. Even if I'm
not going to reveal exactly who her parents are, she deserves my
respect both because of who she is to my country and as my
friend.

“
Sorry, the excitement of the moment
caught up with me. This is Tawny, a very good friend of
mine.”

“
I'm happy to have met you, Tawny,”
Serena says. “Even if the circumstances are not what I'd have them
be.”

“
Thank you.”

“
Come sit by me while Waverly makes us
something mouthwatering.” When Serena sits down at the counter to
watch me, the time and strain is immediately evident by the lines
of worry etched in her face. Tawny eases into the chair next to
her, back rigid. I suppose even court doesn't prepare one for
sitting next to your ex-fiancée’s new fiancée.

“
How are the girl
s
, really?” I ask Serena about her
sisters.

Her shoulders seem to cave into the rest of
her. “I've only managed to sneak in to see them once. The girls
aren't handling things well. Most of them seem to be shutting down.
Bethany's doing what she can for them, but I'm afraid of the strain
it's causing her. Especially as she tries to take care of
Mother.”

“
Will the baby be born
soon?”

“
Within the next month or two. She
seems to be taking this pregnancy harder than the others. Don't
tell her I said this, but I think she's getting too old for this. I
wish there was a way to rescue all of them before then. It's going
to be very unpleasant when she has another girl.”

Unpleasant to say the least. Who knows how
Stephen will take his wrath out on his wife and daughters? I wish I
could march over there right now and slam a hex into him so hard he
wouldn't wake for a year. Never mind that I lack the power to
actually do so.

Serena opens her mouth but closes it again
before saying, “Zade said you weren't coming. I didn't tell him
about the letter you sent claiming the opposite.”

“
Don't know if he'll like the fact
you're keeping secrets from him.”

“
You can't keep a secret from someone
who isn't around to speak with.”

Lands, Zade, how are you treating your
intended this time? Sometimes my brother needs a hit over the head
with a frying pan to knock some sense into him. “Well, what he
doesn't know will keep things going smoothly enough.”

“
That will change as soon as he knows
you're here and can get away from his duties,” Serena continues.
“He's not going to be happy.”

“
So all his letters told me.” Over and
over again. “You didn't really think I'd stay away, did
you?”

“
No, but part of me hoped you
would.”

A slice of pain cuts through me. “You don't
want me here?”

“
I only said a part. It's just that as
much as we love your company, I fear for your safety.”

“
As Zade fears for yours.”

“
Yes, but there was a reason Zade sent
you away. Things are changing. Things I can help with, and I need
to do what I can for my sisters and Mother. But if I had left with
you, or if I went now, who would take my place? Who will do what
they can to protect my sisters? Who will show Chardonian women what
sort of life they can have? What sort of power they can have? What
sort of freedom they can have from being owned?”

“
That’s exactly why we're here as
well.”

“
But it doesn't have to be your fight.
You’re not a Chardonian.”

I stand taller. “Just by being a person in
this world, it's my fight.”

Serena gives the faintest of smiles before
turning to Tawny. “What do you think? Did you come for the same
reason? Did she warn you how dangerous things are?”

The mention of danger makes me wonder
if she knows about Cynthia's situation, but I don't want to place
more worries on her if she hasn't heard Cynthia has dealt with
i
t
as needed, and the Sanos
contacts have been notifie
d
.
There's nothing Serena could do about it but worry more.

Tawny says, “I was warned, but I need to be
here. I'm sick of leading an idle life that is useless to
anyone.”

“
You've found a precarious way to try,
but if Waverly brought you I won't turn you away. Do you know
magic?”

This is such a good change from having
Serena cringe away from even the faintest hint of magic.

When Tawny doesn't reply, I say, “She's much
better at it than I.” Magic tutors are required for the next
monarch. Those protection spells she was required to learn are
stronger than an entire mountain.

“
You're much too kind.” Tawny
blushes.

“
Good,” Serena says. “Even if Waverly
is exaggerating, we could use the help. I'm trying to learn and am
coming across more and more women who are requesting help to learn
as wel
l
.”

She was warming up to it when I left, but I
didn't expect her to willingly get so involved. Things really are
changing. With Serena at least.

T
he door
slams. Serena jumps, but I know that sound all too well. Zade is
here.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for
battle. Tawny is resting in our shared room, which I should have
been doing as well, but sleep wouldn't come. Instead, I sought
Serena out to find more details about what's been going on. I
should have forced myself to stay in bed, though it'd be cruel to
leave Serena alone with his wrath. At least she can probably calm
him better than I can.

Zade storms in with a force of tense
muscles and a glare in his eyes that could turn into magic sparks
at any moment. Serena relaxes back into her chair with a giant grin
on her face.
Either she doesn't realize how seriously
his temper is flaming right now, or she doesn't care.

“
What are you doing here?” His words
boom at me.

It's then I realize Chadwick is behind him.
I stare at him, ignoring Zade's fuming. My heart doesn't give a
thump or a flutter or anything at all. Why can't it respond to him
like I think it should? Like everyone expects it to? Maybe my idea
of how loves feels, how it looks from outside, is wrong. Maybe the
warmth of friendship is all there is for someone like me.

“
Waverly!”

I roll my eyes and say in my sweetest voice,
“Yes, Master Zade?”

“
Don't you dare give me that. This
isn't the time for jokes. Mom and Dad are going to have a heart
attack when they realize you didn't listen to me and returned. You
should know your brother only wants to keep you safe. What's that
going to do to Dad? Did you think of him when you went gallivanting
off?”

He's right. It’s not the time for games even
if it's fun to tweak him. There are some things too precious to
joke over. “They're the ones who told me to come.”

This seems to trip him up. He pinches the
bridge of his nose. “Why would they do that?”

“
Because they understand as much as I
do that I need to be here.”

He huffs. Serena goes to him and puts a hand
on his arm. The change is instant. His eyes soften, and his
shoulders relax. He kisses her full on the mouth like none of us
are even there. I glance away, which leads to catching Chadwick's
eye. I hurry to stare at my hands. More awkward than when I
accidentally spelled his hair pink.

I make an exaggerated sound of clearing my
throat.

Zade gives an exasperated sigh. “Well,
you're clearly not in the mood for my temper, so just let me and my
fiancée have some time together. Maybe then, just maybe, I'll be
able to talk to you without wanting to strangle you.”

“
By all means, go right ahead. It
sounds as if you've been neglecting her.”

He growls. “Stupid council.”

“
Oh, just kiss me again,” Serena
says.

I turn away as he passionately does so. I'm
all for true love and kissing, but my brother doesn't seem like the
best person to illustrate the point. Ew.

Chadwick hurries past the couple, turning
away from them as soon as he can. The kissing must bother him too.
Or maybe it's my presence that’s causing issues. At least Serena
and Zade finally seem to take a hint and move into the hall.

Chadwick takes the chair Serena vacated.
“You shouldn't have come back.”

“
I think my brother already made that
clear enough.”