Minimize Me: 10 Diets to Lose 25 Lbs in 50 Days (12 page)

Serum Triglycerides

Before                      0.7 mmol/L

After                        0.7 mmol/L

Normal
levels           (< 1.6)

No changes at all in these, which was as
my doctor expected.

Serum HDL Cholesterol

Before                      1.3 mmol/L

After                        1.2 mmol/L

Normal
levels           (> 1.1)

My doctor explained that there are
effectively two types of cholesterol, and this is the good cholesterol. Well,
like any good cholesterol should, it has been well-behaved and has changed only
slightly. This is within normal ranges and is no cause for concern.

Calculated LDL Cholesterol level

Before                      2.4 mmol/L

After                        2.8 mmol/L

Normal
levels           (< 3.0)

This is the bad cholesterol, and like me
over the past 50 days, it has been a little naughty. It has gone up to 2.8,
which my doctor said was still within a healthy range, but it is something to
keep an eye on. This is the one they look at if someone has been unlucky enough
to have a heart attack, and they would try to get the LDL down to 2.0 or less.
Once again I found it interesting that nothing in the blood results showed that
losing weight this quickly was a particularly healthy thing to do.

Cholesterol / HDL

Before                      3.1

After                        3.6

Normal
levels           (< 3.5)

This is the reading, looking at both the
good and bad cholesterol to give an overall score. As you can see, my total is
now slightly above normal levels. Again, this isn’t a cause for concern and my
doctor certainly isn’t worried about it, but she did say that rapid weight-loss
may not have helped the results.

Blood Pressure

Before                      136 / 81

After                        130 / 80

Again, there is no significant
difference, and these two readings could have easily been taken ten minutes
apart, rather than fifty days apart. My doctor confirmed that this is a very
healthy blood pressure reading.

So it seems, overall, I’m not any
healthier, at least in terms of the numbers. Of course, being over 30 lbs
lighter means that I can now do more exercise, and I feel inclined to make far
healthier choices when it comes to food. All of that should ensure that over
the long-term I’ll be much healthier, and I intend to book another test in
three months’ time to see if that bears fruit.

And I suppose that’s it – I did it! 10
different diets in an effort to lose 25 lbs in just 50 days… and I somehow
managed to lose just over 30. I’ve learned so much over the last 50 days, but I
think the most valuable thing I’ve learned is that nothing is impossible,
especially if you’re willing to cheat!

Before you go

Thank you so much for purchasing
'Minimize Me' and sharing the last 50 days with me. As I am a self published
author, I have no advertising budget to speak of and so I rely almost
exclusively on Amazon reviews and recommendations to friends and family in
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grateful if you would consider leaving a short review on Amazon (If you didn’t
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If you enjoyed 'Minimize Me' then you
might like to know that I have released another series of books titled 'As They
Slept - The comical tales of a London commuter' and here is a preview for you
to enjoy

As They Slept – The comical
tales of a London commuter by Andy Leeks

The
reason I’m writing this now is something I wrote yesterday, on Facebook. I was
on the 07:51 train into London and everyone around me was asleep.

I
posted a status.

 "Maybe
I'm in the minority here, but it really annoys me when commuters sleep on
trains, especially so on the morning leg. They have just had a whole night’s
sleep! You can get so much done on your commute, it's criminal to sleep through
it"

Apparently
I was wrong to assume people had enjoyed a whole night's sleep and there were
doubtless many factors contributing to why they were sleeping. Many things
could be responsible for their tiredness, such as work stresses or restless
children. 

I
honestly didn't doubt for one second that these people had busy lives and that
for them sleep was often at a premium; I was just making the point that using
the commute to sleep was a waste of potentially valuable time. I then decided
to list all of the things that could be done during their nap time. "You
could pay some bills, research a recipe, get in touch with an old friend, catch
up on the news, do some online shopping, enter a competition or even do some creative
writing" I asserted.

By
the time I had got to the last two, I had run out of ideas and my brain was
pretty much running on empty. It is for this reason and this reason only that I
then followed it up with the perhaps foolhardy promise: ".....In fact,
I'll prove how much time you are wasting by sleeping - I am going to write
something on every commute for a year!"

And
just like that, this book was born. A challenge laid down to myself - to prove
to all of those narcoleptic commuters just what could be done in those lost
sleepy hours.

Exactly
what I will write over the next year is as much a mystery to me as it is to
you, but that is what makes it truly exciting. I have always loved a challenge,
but I think this is the first time I have ever actually set one for myself.
There is usually a friend involved and almost always alcohol to blame and/or a
woman to impress. This time there is no alcohol, no woman to impress and there
are certainly no friends involved.

Some
days I imagine you will get some news, some days maybe a little story or
anecdote, but almost every other day I expect you'll get me moaning about the
fat bastard in the seat opposite, listening to his rubbish music, with a Tesco
carrier bag between his feet, a can of beer in his hand and an almost certain
tragic early death ahead of him.

I
kid you not - he has managed to get through four cans of Stella in the time it
has taken me to write this first entry! That's four cans in the time it has
taken to get from London Cannon Street to Tonbridge. Four cans in 45 miles.
That's a can every 11.25 miles. I hope this guy never travels long distance, it
just might kill him. What if he tried to keep his can to mile ratio up on his
holiday this year? Benidorm is 895 miles away, so that would be just short of
80 cans. Looking at him, I think he could give it a bloody good go.

My
stop is approaching so I’ll just go over the rules once again. I promise that
this book will be written solely on my commute to and from work. That means
that if I am not commuting, I am not writing.

There
will be gaps where I am either ill, working from home or on holiday. Every day
that I commute, I promise to add a chapter to this book.  I’m adamant I won’t
spend my workdays, evenings or weekends writing. I have a job to do and a
family to keep happy.

The
whole point of this book is to show what can be done while commuting, and
hopefully to prove once and for all that sleeping on trains really is a
complete waste of time.

This weekend I decided to make
a complaint.

This may sound innocuous to
you, run-of-the-mill even, but for me this is genuine progress. I have ambled
through the last 33 years on this planet, totally unable to complain. No matter
what a shoddy experience I might have, or what terrible service I might
receive, I'll smile politely, keep quiet and pay the bill. As soon as I’m in
the car, my wife, family or friends will then get a full run-down of exactly
what was wrong and exactly how they should improve.

I am a closet complainant, happy
to moan, but doing so behind closed doors and out of earshot. Cold food? Sloppy
service? Rude staff? Boy, are they going to get it in the car on the way home.
I'm not sure why I'm like this. I'm quite confident in normal every day life.
Sometimes too confident for my own good. A celebrity only needs to be within
five square miles and I'll be able to seek them out for a little chat about
what they’re up to and what they have in the pipeline.

You sometimes hear
celebrities say things like "Oh no, people are very respectful, I rarely
get people just walking up to me in the street." Maybe I didn't get the
memo. I can count at least ten times in the past where I have just introduced
myself, said I was a fan of their work and then gone on to have a lovely chat.
I have a rule of not disturbing them if they are chatting with others, or if
they are eating, but if they are just sitting there or standing there, then
that's fair game. My most recent chat was with Dame Kelly Holmes on this very
train. She sat down opposite me and we got off the train together, so I wasn't
going to turn down that opportunity. We actually had some common ground too, in
the very broadest sense. It was leading up to the 2012 Olympics and she was
obviously heavily involved and so was I. Well, sort of. I was a ‘Gamesmaker’
for the Olympics and during our chat she seemed genuinely excited and proud of
the volunteers and she wished me luck for the games. If I'm honest, it seemed a
bit surreal that a Dame and double gold-medallist was wishing me good luck for
the upcoming Olympic Games.

There was another time that
I approached a couple of celebrities and I realise now, looking back, that the
celebrities in question must have been terrified. Firstly, I was under the
influence of alcohol. I wasn't drunk; I was just very well lubricated.
Secondly, it was dark. Thirdly, they were in a blacked-out Range Rover.
(Thinking back, I've no idea how I spotted them given those three factors.) And
lastly, because I wasn't 100% sure it was them, I circled the car four times.

So, picture the scene. It's
a dark, cold, winter's night. Two celebrities are parked up at the side of the
road in a blacked-out vehicle and a scruffy drunk is circling the car. (It was
also a Friday and dress-down day involved me not only relaxing my dress code,
but my facial hair too.)

Suddenly, the scruffy drunk
approaches the car and knocks on the passenger-side window. After a lengthy
discussion between the two and a second knock from the scruffy drunk, the
electric motor kicks in and the window is slowly lowered and in a broad Geordie
accent, Dec from Ant and Dec asks if he can help me, with Ant from Ant and Dec
looking on. (For people in the US, Ant and Dec are a popular TV presenting
double act….. think Laurel and Hardy but with an autocue and minus the bowler
hats)

I had spent so long trying
to figure out if it was them and building up the courage to speak to them that
when it came to actually saying something, I had completely dried up. After
what seemed like ten minutes I finally managed to say something, and to this
day I still go bright red at the thought of it. "So you really are friends
outside of work then."

That was it!

I had knocked on the window
of a blacked-out car and disturbed two celebrities, (who were both chatting and
eating, thus breaking both of my own silly rules,) in order to state that these
two very nice gentlemen are indeed friends. Thinking back now, I'm annoyed I
didn't make reference to the fact that, even in a car, Ant was on the left and
Dec was on the right!

Annoyingly, my encounter
with the pint-sized Geordie duo wasn't my most embarrassing celebrity moment. A
year or two later I was walking hand-in-hand with my wife through Camden when I
spotted TV's Stephen Mangan, and proceeded to confidently smile, wave and say
hello. Well, that's how it now goes in my head as I try desperately to erase
the memory of pointing at him and saying "Look, it's him, off
of........" as he politely smiled and waved and said "Yes, it's me,
off of ......" and continued walking. He knew that I couldn't think where
I knew him from, but he just rolled with it. He wasn't embarrassed at all.

Stephen Mangan is in that awkward
category where he is famous, but not really famous. I imagine people point or
stare, trying to work out where they know him from. Is he famous? Did I work
with him once? Is he a friend of Stan’s?  For those of you that have now
Googled Stephen Mangan, yes, he is that bloke that was in Green Wing, Alan
Partridge and Episodes. And yes, he is a bit strange looking.

So, we've established I'm
confident and stupid in equal measure, but still unable to complain, until this
weekend that is. We visited some friends of ours and went to a beautiful park.
The park has gardens, a museum and a lovely restaurant. After spending a good
while in the children's play-park, watching our children swing, slide and climb
their way to exhaustion, we retired to the restaurant for some much-needed
refreshment.

It was rustic, home-cooked
food and the hand-made burger and chunky chips fitted the bill perfectly. Mine
was fantastic. It was hot, tasty and completely devoid of sharp plastic
objects.  My wife's burger on the other hand managed the first two, but failed
on the last. The object in question was extremely hard and sharp. It was by
pure luck that my wife managed to pluck it from her mouth before it did any
real damage. Who knows what it was or how it got in there, but it was certainly
time for me to man up in front of my friends. I told them that it wasn't right
and we should complain. They agreed. We should speak to either the manager or
the chef. They agreed.

To my surprise one of our
friends Nic, took the initiative and asked the waitress if the chef could
please come out to speak to us. That's fine, I thought. She's taken care of the
admin; it's time for me to take care of the business. Ten minutes later there
was no chef and no manager. I now had an issue. I was already highly stressed
about having to complain, but now, there is a second complaint that needs
discussing. I've now got to complain about the wait to speak to the manager as
well as the original complaint. This is like asking someone who is afraid of flying
to board a plane and then, halfway through, telling them that it’s their turn
to fly it.

Ten minutes later and we
still had not been visited by either the chef or the manager. It is at this
point that my daughter asked to go to the toilet and as she is only two and a
half, she needed some assistance. I am ashamed to admit that I took the bait.
I've never been so happy to accompany my daughter to the loo.

"I'll go!" I
shouted, as I grabbed her hand and skipped off to the toilet. Needless to say,
by the time I got back, the situation had been resolved. Our good friend Jay
managed to explain, very articulately, I'm told, exactly what they needed to do
in terms of improving their customer care. The sharp, plastic item was
presented to the manager and he apologised accordingly. We later received free
coffee and cake by way of apology and everyone seemed to be happy. Everyone
except me. My coffee was cold and my cake was stale.

Boy, did they hear about
that in the car on the way home!