MisStaked (51 page)

"As much as you are.” She bit her lip to hold back laughter, and looked back to the townhouse. Reality set in, drying her laughter into a cold lump that clogged the middle of her throat.

Before Luna could think herself out of it, she stepped off the curb. Her ankles were instantly surrounded by a rushing torrent. She chose to ignore it. After all it was just water. The way things looked she would be wading through a lot worse than this before this night was done.

Breathred was thrown roughly into the room, his arms cuffed behind his back. His knees skidded across the cold, stone slabs that made up the floor. He let out an involuntary whoosh, as he came to a jarring halt somewhere in the middle of the room. Breathred wanted to open his eyes to see where the vampire had taken him, but when he did, the voice would come back.

As long as he kept them good and crunched up, Breathred could convince himself the voice wasn't real. He was getting good at it, might even have succeeded if the vampire hadn't come to get him. It was too late to worry about imaginary voices now.

Breathred could smell the cloying scent of jasmine incense burning around him. It made him want to sneeze. Which he did. He bit his tongue in the process, drawing a thin river of blood into his mouth. His first impulse was to spit, but considering his companions, he decided against it. Soon enough, they would be seeing more than he liked without giving them a free preview.

"God bless, you.” Leopold tittered.

"Thank you.” Breathred answered back. They may be able to kill him, but that was no reason for bad manners.

"See, Lewis. I told you we should have turned up the heat. That was very rude of us. The virgin is catching a cold.” Leopold continued to laugh.

"A cold'll be the least of his worries in a few minutes, Boss,” Lewis snorted.

"Come, come, Lewis. There is no reason to remind Mr. Petrifunck of his impeding doom. I want this to be a pleasant experience for him.” Leopold shot the vampire a harsh look.

"Dammit, Leo! We're not taking this guy to a day spa. We're gonna take a really long knife and...” Lewis made a chopping motion toward his chest, but Leopold interrupted him.

"Hush, not in front of the irgin-vay,” Leopold hissed.

"That's okay. I kind of figured out what was going on back in the van,” Breathred broke in.

"See what you've done? Now, he's all upset about being sacrificed.” Leopold chided his fellow vampire.

"Can you blame him?” Lewis snorted.

"Well, no, but that's beside the point. I won't have a skittish virgin bringing bad karma down on all my Feng Shui. I paid a lot of money to have Bowen make this room cosmically balanced. I won't have it thrown away because you can't keep your mouth shut.” Leopold shook his finger in the other vampire's face.

Breathred ignored the rest of the tirade. He figured as long as this would be the last room he ever saw, he might as well see it. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

The room was decorated in cool pastels—greens and blues, with a dark, forest green border running across the top of the walls. Breathred's eyes followed the border to two French doors that opened out onto a garden that looked over-grown and unkempt. The doors were thrown open and a light dusting of rain filtered through them.

He turned his attention back to the room itself. A raised dais had been constructed in front of the French doors. Atop it rested D'brea's body. Leopold had unwrapped her and dressed her in a flowing white gown. A braided gold belt served as her only adornment, other than the diamond-encrusted tiara that rested in the folds of her strawberry-blonde hair.

Breathred had to admit Leopold had outdone himself. The room was fabulous. He couldn't think of a nicer place to die, though the angel-shaped candleholders were a bit over the top.

The two vampires had finished their fight and were looking directly at him. Not a good sign. It meant they had decided it was time to get the show on the road.

"So, guys. It looks like you have a lot to work through. What say I step outside for a few minutes while you do that?” Breathred grinned.

"Thank you, but no. This farce has reached its end, Mr. Petrifunck. My long wait is over. The Mother is ready to be born again. Your time has come.” The excitement bubbled out of the vampire's voice.

Leopold motioned for Lewis to come forward. The younger vampire held an intricately carved wooden box. He shot Breathred a snotty look before handing the box to Leopold.

Breathred let out a gulp as Leopold opened the box. The vampire winked over the top of the lid and pulled out a wicked-looking gold knife. Breathred squinted. He couldn't be sure, but it looked like there was an etching of Vivian Leigh on the blade.

"I see you admire the fine workmanship. Only the finest for the Mother. I ordered this from the Franklin Mint for three monthly payments of $39.95. It's from their ‘Gone with the Wind’ collection. I was hoping the Rhett Butler one would come in before the sacrifice, but alas—Scarlet will have to do,” Leopold mused, more to himself than Breathred.

"I can wait, if you want,” Breathred offered.

"No, Ms. Leigh is more than up to the job,” Leopold laughed, running his finger over the blade's razor edge. A thin red line appeared on his fingertip.

"Boss, can we get this over with?” Lewis snorted.

"An excellent idea, Lewis. Tie him to the altar,” Leopold ordered, as his blood dripped down the knife blade.

Lewis reached down and jerked Breathred from the floor. It was like he was weightless in the vampire's hands. Breathred grunted, as Lewis jammed his arms back. He felt his shoulders pop from the strength of it.

Without an ounce of compassion, the vampire dragged him toward the altar. Breathred didn't even struggle. With his hands bound behind his back there was nothing he could do, anyway.

In the back of his mind the voice said different. Its promises reawakened in Breathred's mind. Breathred saw everything slipping away. He was a failure as a vampire slayer. Heck, he was a failure at everything. Luna, Stud and D'brea were depending on him to save them, and what was he doing? He was about to become a pincushion. That's what he was doing. Breathred was just grateful Luna wasn't here to see this.

If only there was some way to get out of this.

But, there is,
the voice said stronger than ever
. Give in to me and you can save them all—Luna, the monkey, everyone. All you have to do is let me out and all this will be over.

"What do you want from me?” Breathred screamed.

Lewis stopped dragging him and looked down at him like he was crazy. At this point Breathred couldn't be sure he wasn't totally bonkers. He'd ask the voice. It seemed to know everything, anyway.

"All right, put the virgin down and nobody gets hurt!” Stud yelled, stepping into the room.

Breathred couldn't believe his eyes. Luna and Stud had come to the rescue. He might just make it out of here after all. That wellspring of hope died when he saw Leopold slip around behind them. Breathred screamed out as the vampire grabbed Luna and pulled her back to him. Stud jerked his head toward them, but it was too late. The golden knife was at her throat.

It's not too late. I can save her,
the voice cooed in his ear.

"What do I have to do?” The question a near silent breeze from his lips.

Just let me take care of everything. That's all,
the voice promised.

Breathred held his breath, not sure he could trust the voice, but he couldn't let Luna die, either. He watched Leopold play the knife across her throat. No, she wouldn't die, if there was anything he could do about it. He'd bargain with the Devil, himself, to save her.

"Do it,” Breathred said to the voice, and in the darkness of his mind the voice smiled.

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Just when you think you got vampires figured out, they go off and do something really throws you for a loop.

Seeing Leopold in action, Lewis regretted telling him not to wear the Gary Oldman Dracula wig. It would have looked good with his red Kimono with the black dragons copulating on the back. The young vampire was so distracted by the sight of his master and the girl he didn't even notice Breathred had slipped away.

"Let her go,” Stud demanded.

"I don't think so, monkey boy.” Leopold stuck his tongue out at the chimp. “See, I have the big knife, so I get to do what I want."

"Well, I've got the big hairy monkey, Wormy Mc Worm. So, you can suck it, Asshole,” Stud shouted back.

"Stud, shut up. You're not helping matters.” Luna screamed. Even Lewis winced as Leopold jerked the knife tight against her throat, pulling the flesh tight enough to make a pink indention in the skin.

"Yeah, back off before I slit doggie girl's throat. Now, shoo.” Leopold shook his toe at Stud as he backed away from the chimp.

"You hurt her and I'll—” Stud warned.

"And you'll do what? Rub your dirty monkey butt on me? Go away. I will not have monkeys at the Mother's rebirth,” Leopold snapped.

Stud made a move toward the vampire. His legs felt like lead weights as he moved to take a second step. He knew instantly D'brea had taken control of his body again.

What are you doing, you crazy bitch?
he thought at her.

If you try to help her, all you'll do is get the both of you killed.
D'brea answered, her voice a pale whisper in his head.

The chimp could tell the vamp was using too much of her already-depleted energy to keep him in check, and it showed. Even holding him in place was taxing her. If D'brea didn't get back to her body soon, he wondered what would happen. Would she find herself roaming around for all eternity without a body—or worse—be trapped in his body? Stud felt her doing the same as she shared his thought.

D'brea's trick had given Leopold enough time to get Luna closer to the altar, and out of his way. With a sigh of relief Stud felt her let control of his body go back to him. From their contact he felt her thoughts and knew if D'brea had a body, she would have been covered in sweat from the effort. As it was, even her spectral body shook from the effort, and he could feel her drifting away. Then the connection was gone and he couldn't feel anything from the woman.

Stud let out a strangled gasp as he felt D'brea exit his body and instantly felt the empty place inside himself where she had been. His feelings weren't hurt by it, either. He just knew she had planted flowers or something equally girly in his Super Id. He knew for a fact the ghost had been painting clothes on all his dirty dreams, so she was liable to do just about anything.

Whatever D'brea had on her freak-on-a-leash mind was not important now. He had to get to that floor-flushing vampire who had Luna. Stud didn't know what D'brea was up to, but it had better not screw up them saving Breathred. Dead or not, he'd go to hell and kill her ass for a second time, if she did.

Leopold's shouting brought Stud out of his musing. “Lewis, what the hell did you do with my virgin?"

Stud looked around and saw Breathred was nowhere in sight. The big goob must have gotten away in the confusion. At least something was going right.

"Damned, if I know! He must have slipped away when you and the monkey were yelling at each other,” Lewis answered back, roughly.

"Don't take that tone with me, Playah. I don't care when he got away. Just find him!” Leopold screamed.

"Looking for me, hellspawn?” Breathred asked from the shadows that lay beyond the altar. His voice was cold and hard, sounding like a shadow rasping on the edge of the sun.

He stepped into the light. His hands were no longer cuffed behind his back, but were clinched into fists at his side. Stud barely recognized him. Breathred looked the same as always, but there was something different about him. Even his voice didn't sound like him. The chimp wasn't sure what was going on, but he sure as hell planned to find out.

"Breathred, are you okay?” Stud shouted to be heard over the quarreling vampires.

"Sub-creature, I am fine.” Breathred stated.

"Sub-creature! Who the hell, are you calling a sub-creature?"

"Breathy, what's happened to you?” Luna sobbed.

Breathred swung his head around until his dead eyes fixed on her weeping face. “Woman, Breathred is gone."

"What do you mean Breathred is gone?"

"He sacrificed himself to save you from the abomination. He is no longer here. Only I exist in this body,” the voice-made-flesh answered.

"Lewis, you broke my virgin!” Leopold pouted, letting Luna slip from his grip.

"And just who the fuck are you?” Stud shouted.

"I am the Antipaste, the fallen one.” Breathred/Not Breathred answered.

Time stood still as they all looked at each other. Vampire stared at primate. Primate stared at human—well not human, but we're not going to go into semantics. Needless to say they were all confused.

"Did he just say he was a pile of linguini that just fell on the floor?” Leopold leaned back and asked Luna.

"I don't think so, but at this point anything is possible.” Luna whispered back.

"What a crock of horseshit! Breathred, I don't know what these assholes did to you, but snap out of it.” Stud told his friend. He had to have to have a serious talk to the goob when this was over. All those comic books were going to his head. Antipaste indeed! Next thing you know, he'd want to be called Darth Breathred again.

"Sub-creature, be quiet, lest I deal with you as harshly as I will with the abominations,” the Not-Breathred snapped.

Stud shook his fist at him. “Friend or no friend, if you don't cut that sub-creature crap out, I'm going to slug you."

"So be it,” Breathred said, a slow evil grin slashing his face.

Lightning blazed from Breathred's hands and engulfed the chimpanzee. Energy crackled around his diminutive form. The smell of burning hair filled the air, as he writhed in the center of the ball of electrical hell Breathred created around him.

Okay this shit hurts
, Stud thought.

*
Feel free to jump to another point of view now. I think I'm going to cuss my ass off then pass out. Thank you very much for ignoring the fact I may soil myself somewhere in the middle of all the cussing.