Mister Distraction (Distraction #2) (8 page)

“I am safe, Mom. I get tested every month. I don’t kiss the girls, and I have always worn protection. Other than Bettina, I don’t have sex with these girls more than once. That way nobody gets hurt mentally or physically. I have years of practice. I know what I am doing. As for the healthy relationship,” my eyes darted between my sisters, “two out of three’s not bad.”

She gasped, and I turned to see a steady stream of tears return to her face. My dad was next to stand.

“Son, I know that you know, what you are saying is complete bullshit. I am worried as well. I see you five days a week and you are angry and tired. You don’t have any healthy relationships. I know the second we lost you, and I kick myself for not trying harder to fight for you. You are my only son, and I need you in my life. Your anger is an issue, but the fact that you turn to sex instead of friends or family, that’s the biggest problem. You need help, son.” For some reason, his speech got to me. I wanted to tell him how much he did save me, but I was too pissed. I felt betrayed. I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t have just talked to me about it. I felt my iron stare stay on him as my sisters started their version of the same speech.

When they finished, I looked around, confusion leading to frustration and aggression. I was speechless as I eased out of my chair and excused myself. I kept my head down to keep myself from saying something I knew I would regret. I froze at that thought.
Ah…what the hell?
I turned around and glanced at my mom first.

“Don’t expect me to be Dad. I am not. We might look the same, but I am not him…or anyone else at this table.” My eyes scanned the table, falling on Jessie.

“Jessie…” was all I could say. She looked up at me and my own green eyes stared back at me, green eyes filled with sadness and anxiety. I am not sure why, but I lost my ability to confront my twin. I caught Janie’s fierce stare next.

“Janie…out to save the world; to hell with her own family. I can tell you what’s wrong with Jake. Where do I start? Let see…you have him and ten months later, you have Josh. Then you go to school full-time. When you graduate, you intern and then work full-time, and overtime.
Your husband, the district attorney, is the only one who spends more time at work than you do. As a therapist, sis, I would think you could see Jake’s reaching out for attention. My guess is Josh will be next. So if you really want to save someone, save your kids.” She gasped, and I gave her my best smug-ass smile. I turned to my dad with only one thing to say before storming out.

“Really?”
I thought he knew me better than this.

Chapter Five

I reached my Jeep, trying to control my anger.
Fuck
. I hit the steering wheel and then tore out of the driveway not knowing where I was going, just needing space. I drove around for an hour, completely annoyed and irritable. My fingers were nervous, and I kept changing the station on the radio to keep them busy. The Jeep ended up in the underground garage at Strikers and I sat there stunned for a while, not remembering the drive. It was like automatic pilot; I got out and mindlessly headed toward the elevator.

The walk felt like I was in a dream, a fog. My mind was blurry, so my body took over. The elevator doors opened and I got a rush from just being there. I waved at the man at the front counter and went in. The sounds of sex filled the air, the smell of leather and sex making me hard instantly. This was my element. I looked around at all the half-naked and fully naked women.
How could this be bad?
I felt instantly better, energized. I craved the whiskey, but knew in my state of mind I’d better resist.

I wandered further into the club and passed the bondage area to the room where people were having sex everywhere. It was a huge room with couches and leather covered tables about knee height throughout the space. Windows were placed around the outside of the room with people sitting in chairs watching the orgy. I ran my hand through my hair and took my shirt off. My cock wanted to play.

A pretty lady with long, dark hair approached me, wearing just a matching pair of red-laced bra and panties. She slid her warm fingers
between mine and I got a charge from the gentle contact. My dick stood up and applauded at my choice of ‘strange’. She strolled to a couch in the corner, her hand holding mine tightly. I watched her black hair sway from behind, and I saw my coffee girl, Katarina. I lost that beautiful picture when she turned around and began taking off her bra and panties, doing a little striptease for me. Then, flashes would return to my eyes, playing tricks on me. I would see Katarina’s beautiful smile when she was reading her e-mails. I saw her bright blue eyes and her slender fingers.
Fuck
. I didn’t want the girl standing in front of me. I wanted Katarina. The girl before me was making her way back to me completely naked, and she started to kiss my neck. I pushed her away, grabbing her arm roughly, and she smirked at me. I shoved her to the couch, my body already betraying my thoughts. I was painfully hard. I towered over her. She reached up and ran her free hand up my stomach and chest. I grabbed her hands and held them over her head. She lifted her hips off the couch, humping my lower stomach, attempting to rub her cunt against my hard-on.

I shook my head, trying hard to clear my thoughts. Katarina’s face kept popping into my head. I tried closing my eyes, but it only made it worse.
Shit!
I unzipped my pants and could hear the girl under me begin begging me to fuck her. I stood up and stared at the more-than-willing naked girl on the couch. The sounds of sex were everywhere, and people were watching. I was so ready. I looked down at my cock. It was dancing at the sight of her, but I tucked it painfully away, turned, and walked out of the orgy room. I took the stairs in a hurry to be anywhere but there. I hopped in my Jeep and went to the closest gym.

I walked in like I owned the place, and nobody stopped me. I used the weights and the boxing bags until I couldn’t stand up any longer. I concentrated on the smell of leather and sweat and convinced myself this was my new element. It made me relax a little.

I drove back to Jessica’s house and knocked on the door. Jonah, Jessica’s husband, answered. He looked at my luggage and let me in. He showed me to the downstairs bedroom without a word, and I thanked him. I took a much-needed shower, relieving myself twice. I slept well that night, and woke up the next morning fresh and in a better state of mind.

I returned to the shower, preparing myself for the third no-sex day ahead. I took care of business, which made me more relaxed. I went into the kitchen. Jonah was awake with four-year-old Jack. They were eating breakfast together.

“Good morning, thanks again for last night.” I helped myself to the cereal at the table and poured milk into my bowl. Jack was too busy with oatmeal and playing with his truck to say anything.

“No problem, Brother. So Jessica filled me in on last night.” I raised my eyes to his face. “She says you freaked out. She’s worried about you.” Jonah was politely filling me in.

“I have a plan.” It included getting to know a certain girl. I needed to find a way to delay my tendencies until she was ready. I reached over the table and picked up the brochures from the night before.

“I am going to look into this. “Jonah raised an eyebrow, eyeing me skeptically as I held up the colorful pamphlets and then glanced around to see if anyone was listening.

“Jessica doesn’t think you’re addicted; she is just really worried about you. She wants you to be happy. She thinks you’re sad and self-destructive, and that’s why you work so much.” Jessica entered the room, and Jonah went silent.

“Good morning, sis,” I say, nodding at her before returning to my cereal. I was stunned silent as I peeked over at Jonah. He had regret written all over his face. I knew two things by what he said, and his reaction, when my sister strolled into the room. I smiled at my discovery; my twin didn’t think I was an addict and she was so worried about me, she told her husband. Jonah was probably sworn to secrecy, judging by the look on his face. I pushed from the table and peered at the time.

“I’ve got to go.” I brushed past my sister and tugged on a lock of her brown hair. She yelped and then giggled.

“You don’t have to be at work for an hour and twenty minutes.”
Dang
. Her response was instantaneous; Jessie always knew my schedule. I was impressed. She turned back to me a moment after she took her eyes off the clock. I locked eyes with her, letting a sly grin slip.

“You met someone didn’t you?” It was unbelievable how she could read my thoughts.

“Well, there is someone I would
like
to meet, but she has yet to notice me.” Her face was suddenly filled with amusement. She nodded towards the door. “Better go, lover boy.”

I made my way to pick up Bo first. He was waiting by the front door when I got there, and we left. Bettina was most likely still in bed. I drove to the coffeehouse and noticed the students were all gone. There were just six people in the whole place. I ordered my coffee and found a seat next to where Katarina liked to sit.

I read the brochures I grabbed from my sister’s house while I drank my coffee and waited for Katarina. I knew I didn’t have a sex problem, but it would take a miracle to keep me from having any until the dancing princess was ready.

When I put my mind to anything, I committed fully. This renewed mission of mine was no different. I had waited years for a chance to talk with her again. I had to be patient now, clean myself up. I went over the twelve steps of recovery. I asked the man behind the coffee counter for a pen and paper, and then I sat at my table to work on number eight of the twelve steps. I made a list of all the people I have wronged. I was in the middle of my very short list—I was having trouble thinking of names; all I could picture were faces—when I lifted my eyes. Katarina sat in her booth, removing the items from her table before setting up her computer. It was like the other days. She studied her laptop for about a half hour and left without noticing me. She waved at the man behind the coffee counter on her way out. I was beginning to recognize that she had two-dimensional vision. She saw what was directly in front of her and nothing else existed.

I went to work and called my older sister to inform her I was willing to get help—on my terms. She was excited and told me she would have more information tonight. I was less enthusiastic. I called the animal clinic, my weekend job, and quit. I didn’t have any attachments there; I got the job right out of vet school and wanted more experience. So
quitting wasn’t a tough decision to make. I quickly noticed steps one through seven, eleven, and twelve of the twelve steps involved God. I wanted to leave my Sundays open. I was willing to accept any help I could get. I knew it was going to be hard, literally. I made the first call to number one on my list of people I’d wronged. It was Dave, my friend from high school. I had completely shunned him after he left for college, not returning his calls, avoiding him when he would stop by my apartment. He answered right away, and we planned to meet at the gym by my office for a little game of basketball.

The days seemed to fly by. I had arranged an early morning kick-boxing class and a gym workout at night. Dave and I planned to meet twice a week for a basketball game. I was working on keeping myself very busy. Friday was my first sex-addict meeting, and I managed to go every night since. I was empowered by the stories the people would tell, and how they rose from it.