Authors: Karen Stivali
I scrubbed my hands through my hair and sat up. The sheets dragged across my body, making me instantly aware I had no clothes on. A mix of fear and pleasure tumbled through me as more flashes appeared in my head.
Jesus. What did we do?
My heart pounded as I crawled out of bed. I grabbed my phone to check for messages. Nada. But I did catch the time. Almost noon. Fuck. I’d forgotten to set my alarm. That’s what I’d been about to do when Tanner had come home. Damn good excuse for forgetting, but it didn’t change the fact that I was late.
Working the screen with my thumb, I called Gino’s. Marissa answered.
“It’s Collin. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. I promise.”
“Shit, Collin. You’d better get here faster than that, Gino’s head’s about to explode. We’re slammed today.”
“Sorry. Be there as soon as I can.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I flipped on the bathroom light and one bulb over the sink sizzled, then went out.
Great.
Turning on the shower with one hand, I grabbed my toothbrush with the other. I brushed fast and furious, spitting mouthfuls of blue into the sink and shoving the brush back into the stand. The shower was still cold, but I didn’t have time to be picky. As it was, I’d be lucky if I didn’t get my ass fired.
The second I ran my hand over my stomach, the slippery, slick feeling made me forget about my job. The water had reactivated the leftover come, and all I could think about was how I wondered if it was mine or Tanner’s. My cock seemed to be contemplating the same thing. I didn’t have time for speculation or an erection. I shampooed, soaped, and rinsed in record time, willing my dick to cooperate and settle down.
Not caring that I was still half-wet, I pulled on jeans and my Gino’s polo, shoved my phone in my pocket, and flew out the door. I was halfway down the hall before I realized my keys were still on my desk.
Fucking hell.
A headache started behind my eyes. There was no one at the front desk—of course. Was this God punishing me?
Whoa. Where did that come from?
That sounded like something my mother would say. My mother.
Holy shit.
She was coming tonight, and I hadn’t done laundry. God knew what condition the bed was in—mine or Tanner’s.
I pushed the door open, thankful for the smack of cold air on my wet hair to give me something else to think about for a second. My car was twenty yards away but totally useless without keys. The sound of the campus bus echoed in my head, and I saw it pulling up to the stop.
“Wait! Hold the bus!”
The driver closed the door and started to pull away as I barreled toward it, still yelling. “Stop!”
Like some sort of miracle, the bus screeched to a halt, letting out a puff of exhaust that made me cough as I raced through it toward the now open door.
“Thanks, man.”
“Don’t thank me, thank her.” The driver pointed over his shoulder as he pulled away from the curb.
I stumbled from the jerky movement and sat down before I fell over.
Looking up, I saw who he’d pointed to. Wendy sat in the seat across from mine.
“You’re lucky I saw you running.”
“You asked him to stop?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
Blonde curls bounced around her cheeks as she shook her head. “No worries. How come you’re taking the bus? Car broken?”
“Locked my keys in my room.”
“That sucks. Couldn’t the RA let you in?”
“Didn’t have time. I’m late for work.”
She took a pack of gum out of her purse and held it toward me. “You’re having a shit day.”
I pulled a stick out, unwrapped it, and popped it into my mouth. “Thanks.”
She crumpled the wrapper from her piece, studying me. “You look different.”
She narrowed her eyes.
Holy fuck, can she tell?
I looked down at my shirt, making sure I hadn’t thrown on one of the ones we’d used as a rag last night. No, clean. My ears felt like they were on fire.
“It’s your hair,” she said. “I’ve never seen it wet. It looks so much darker.”
I could have cried, I was so relieved. “Oh, yeah.”
She ran her fingers through her curls. “That doesn’t happen as much with us bottle blondes. Your hair’s so light. You must have looked like an angel when you were little.”
I sure as hell don’t feel like one now.
“Hey, this is my stop. Thanks again for holding the bus.”
She smiled and waved. She was so nice that I felt guilty for all the times I wished I’d never see her again. Tanner popped into my head as I jogged down the street toward Gino’s. Did he just leave to go to class? Or had he not wanted to be around when I woke up? I hadn’t seen a note. There was no message on my phone.
Shit. I’m acting like a goddamn girl. He probably had shit to do. Unless he woke up with buyer’s regret.
My stomach rolled over as I yanked open the back door of Gino’s.
I grabbed the last apron on the rack and quickly tied it at my waist. The cheese bin at the prep counter was low, so I went straight to the walk-in fridge. There were only two bins left, which meant they’d already gone through three. They really were getting slammed.
Gino’s gonna kill me.
I strode up to the counter and dumped the remaining shredded cheese into the new container, then pushed it back into place. Gino glared at me as he ladled deep-red sauce onto a circle of pizza dough. I watched as the bottom of the ladle made concentric spirals across the pale dough.
“You want to tell me what was more important than your job?”
“I’m sorry, Gino. My alarm didn’t go off.”
“You need an alarm to get up and be here for 11:00 a.m.? What the fuck were you doing last night that made you so tired at 11:00 a.m.?”
My face burned so hot, I’m guessing it was redder than the sauce.
Gino started laughing, then knocked his shoulder into mine. “It’s about time, kid.”
What?
“I don’t, I mean, I….”
“Hey, relax. She must be some piece of ass to have you so rattled. I’m just glad you finally got yourself a girl.”
Oh
. “Uh, yeah.”
“Next time tell her you need to be at work on time. Now go work the sandwich side. Let Marissa get back out on the floor and take some tables.”
“Sure.” I was glad he didn’t want me to help him with the pizzas. I didn’t think I could fake my way through a convo about my hot night with some nonexistent chick.
Is this what it’s going to be like all the time?
I’d never thought about it. I mean, sure, I’d thought about what it would be like to have a night like I had last night with Tanner, but I sure as hell never thought past it. Probably because it never occurred to me that it would actually happen.
I pulled a paper ticket off the spinner. Two Italian subs, one turkey with Swiss, lettuce, and mayo, and one tuna salad with hot peppers. I split four long rolls and laid them out on the counter. Layering sandwiches was something I could practically do in my sleep after seven months at Gino’s. Oil and vinegar squirted onto the bread as I grabbed the sliced provolone with my other hand. My phone stayed silent in my pocket.
Is he as confused as I am? Is he somewhere having a conversation with someone who’s assuming he spent last night with a girl?
And what about Wendy? Where did she fit into all this? They’d been doing their once-a-week thing for months. Would that stop now? My head pounded. Ham, salami,
capicola
, tomato, shredded lettuce, slippery strips of roasted red peppers, oregano, salt, pepper, and another squirt of oil and vinegar. I wrapped both sandwiches in thick deli paper and taped them shut, then scribbled “Ital” on both and shoved them into the window above the counter.
I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, but I wasn’t hungry. All I wanted was answers. The big clock over the stove said it wasn’t even one o’clock yet. That meant three more hours before I could get out of here. Maybe then Tanner would be home and we could talk. Then… oh, fuck. My mother. She’d said she’d be over between four and five. I was so screwed.
T
HE BUS was late, and I was certain I felt an ulcer eating away at my stomach. That was the only thing that could possibly explain the burning and twisting behind my ribs. There was no way I’d get back to the dorm before my mother arrived, which meant she’d either have to watch me beg my RA to key into my room for me or Tanner would have already let her in, which would mean she’d see God knows what on my side of the room. I desperately tried to remember what condition the sheets were in, but I didn’t have a clue. For all I knew, there were come stains on the pillow. The pain moved between my shoulder blades as I half jogged in the direction of the dorms.
By the time a bus came by, I only needed to ride it for one stop, but it was probably still faster than walking. My mother’s car was right there in the parking lot alongside the building. I held my breath as I scanned the lobby, but there was no sign of her. She must have gone straight upstairs.
Dammit
.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I tried to figure out what I was going to say. As I neared the door, I saw it was propped open. I heard laughter as I pushed it open. My mom was perched on the side of my bed—my
completely made bed.
What the hell? Did she do my laundry? My hands went cold at the thought of her pulling crusty blankets and shorts out of my laundry bag. I could already hear her telling me quietly to get in the car so we could go talk to Father Thomas. It was a good thing I hadn’t eaten, or I’d have thrown up right there in the doorway.
Mom turned to look at me with what seemed to be a normal smile. “Oh, there you are, honey. I was just having a chat with Tanner and his lovely girlfriend.”
Wait, what
? Glancing around the room, I saw that not only was my bed made, so was Tanner’s, and the rest of the room was straightened as well. Trash cans empty. No clothes strewn around. And Tanner and Wendy sat cross-legged on his bed, grinning like talking to my mom was some frigging amusement park ride.
“Thanks, Mrs. Fitzpatrick,” Wendy said. “These cookies are amazing.”
“They’re Collin’s favorite, but I know Tanner likes them too, so I always bring double. I know the cafeteria’s not like home cooking.”
She reached for the enormous tin on my desk and held it out to me. Oatmeal chocolate chip. She was right. They were my favorite.
And I couldn’t have eaten a bite if she’d paid me.
“Thanks. I ate at work, so I’m full.”
Liar.
I didn’t like to think of myself as a liar, but I couldn’t deny I was one. A pretty damned good one, judging by how quickly she shrugged and set the tin down.
“What’s in the bag?” she asked.
I’d forgotten I was carrying one. “Just sandwiches from work. My boss is really good about letting me take food home. It’s subs. Anyone want one?”
Tanner’s eyes darkened when they met mine, but I couldn’t tell why. Was he hungry? Pissed that he’d had to entertain my mom? Trying to forget about last night? Wishing we’d leave so he could be alone with Wendy? Or was he like me, having flashbacks no matter what else he tried to think about? I hoped I didn’t look as freaked-out as I felt.
No one wanted a sandwich, so I stuck them in the fridge. Mom stood up and handed me a garment bag. “Your suit’s in here, along with a shirt and tie, and your dress shoes are in that bag.”
I hadn’t even seen the shopping bag at the foot of my bed.
“Thanks.”
“Just make sure you’re at the church on time. I e-mailed you all the details.” She turned toward Tanner and Wendy. “You two are welcome to come if you’d like. We’re having food at our house afterward.”
Wendy smiled. “I wish I could, but I go home most weekends. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Tanner?” Mom asked.
His brow furrowed. “I’ll have to check my schedule. I’m not sure I’m free on Sunday. If I can, I’ll be there.”
He will?
I didn’t know which option weirded me out more—the thought of him there with me or the thought that he wouldn’t want to go anywhere with me.
“Okay, honey.” Mom put her hand on my arm and pulled me lower, then planted a kiss on my cheek. “I wish I could stay, but I promised your brother I’d babysit tonight.”
“Oh, all right. Thanks for the cookies. And the suit.”
“No problem.” She picked her purse off my bed and smoothed the covers where she’d been sitting. Where Tanner had sat less than twenty-four hours before. Naked. “It’s so nice to see your room all clean. I’m glad you got such a good roommate this year.”
Tanner smiled and shot me a look that surely took at least five years off my life. I’d have traded my left nut to know what he was thinking. “Thanks, Mrs. Fitz,” he said.
“See you Sunday.” Mom walked out the door.
“Bye,” Wendy called in a singsong voice that set my teeth on edge. She leaned past Tanner and grabbed another cookie from the tin on the desk. “These are, like, the best cookies ever. I wish my mom could bake like this.”
She rested against Tanner like he was a human pillow. I didn’t know what to think about anything, but I did know that I couldn’t spend another minute in the room with the two of them all cozy on Tanner’s bed.
I hoisted my backpack off the floor and slung it onto my shoulder. I hadn’t even changed out of my work shirt yet, but I didn’t care. Leaving was all that mattered. The sooner the better.
“I’ve gotta hit the library. See you later.”
Tanner sat up fast enough that Wendy lost her balance a little and smacked him.
“Collin, wait,” he said.
His eyes were dark, his brows pinched together. His lips parted like he was going to say something else, but he didn’t. What could he possibly say with Wendy sitting right there? Nothing that mattered. Nothing I wanted to hear.
“Gotta go,” I said and strode out the door.
I’
D BEEN at the library for six hours and accomplished next to nothing. I tried to read, but the words blurred together on the page. Writing was no better. I’d get a paragraph into a paper, and my mind would wander. My back ached from the combination of uncomfortable library chairs and the fact that I was so tense, I was about to shatter.