Authors: Karen Stivali
Then he turned toward me and opened his eyes.
I
FROZE
,
which seemed appropriate since my body had gone cold from head to toe.
He can’t be looking at me. His eyes probably aren’t adjusted to the dark. I bet he can’t even focus after that orgasm.
My heart pounded against the bed so hard and fast, I thought I might throw up.
Tanner tilted his head, and his eyes flashed in the light filtering through the window. He grabbed the T-shirt on the edge of his bed and wiped his chest and cock, then swiped it across the poster.
He tossed the shirt to the floor and propped himself on his elbow. “Did you come yet?”
If the bed could have opened up and swallowed me whole, I’d have been ecstatic.
Fuck me. He knew I was awake. Knew I’d been watching. Knew I was on the verge of coming just from looking at him.
Humiliation burned through me so fast, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the entire room had burst into flames. Then it hit me—he hadn’t stopped. He’d jerked off knowing he had an audience. An audience with one very rapt member. Me.
Tanner drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, continuing to stare at me through the semidarkness. “I know you’re awake, Collin. I saw you humping the bed. It’s okay.”
Okay? What part of this is he okay with? The part where I spontaneously combust, or the part where I die of shame and have to be buried in an extra-tall coffin because I can’t get my erection to subside no matter how many bar graphs I call to mind?
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I pressed my forehead into the pillow, hoping somehow I’d wake up and this would all have been some strange dream induced by too much late-night pizza and not enough anytime sex.
Tanner’s bed squeaked, and his feet hit the floor. “Dude. You need to say something. You’re starting to freak me out.”
Starting to freak him out?
There wasn’t a word in existence to describe how freaked-out I felt. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” He didn’t sound angry or upset, just curious.
My jaw ached from clenching it so hard. “For everything. I should have made some noise to let you know I was awake or left the room or something.”
Tanner scrubbed his hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. It fell right back across his face the second he let go.
Did he just chuckle?
“I knew you were awake.”
My eyes bugged. “How?”
“For one thing, it’s only ten thirty. You never go to bed before midnight, not even on the nights Wendy stays over. And while we’re on that topic, I know you’re not usually asleep when she’s here either.”
Fuck.
“For another thing, I saw the light on in our room when I crossed the quad, so I’m pretty sure you turned it off when you heard me coming in.”
Dammit. Could I have been more obvious?
I closed my eyes again, wishing the colors would come back so I could see or feel anything other than my own stupidity.
“All I couldn’t figure out was why you were facing my side of the room. You’re always hugging the wall when you pretend to be asleep, so I thought….” Tanner paused and brushed his hair out of the way again. “I don’t know. I thought maybe this time you wanted to watch. So I went for it.”
Went for it?
“Did you want me to watch?”
“If it turned you on, then, yeah.” He looked down at the floor, then over at me. “Did it?”
My hands and feet tingled. “Yeah.”
His lips curled into a crooked smile. He studied me a second longer, then stood up, crossed the five feet that separated our beds, and sat down on the edge of mine. He was still naked, his body tightly muscled but lean, his cock still long and thick.
No part of us was touching, but heat radiated off him. “It turned me on too. A lot.”
He must have been able to hear my heart at that point. I couldn’t hear anything else. It drummed in my ears like the bass at a dance club, impossible to ignore.
Focus. This is ridiculous. He can’t be saying what you’re hearing.
“I thought you were straight.”
“Bi.” He inched closer to the head of the bed. “I thought you were straight.”
“Not exactly.” My cheeks burned again, partly from embarrassment and partly because having him so close was making my temperature rise at an alarming rate.
His dark eyes narrowed. “What exactly, then? I know you’ve been with women.”
“Two women. And let’s just say neither was the kind of experience anyone rushed home to write in their diary about.”
He chuckled. The rumbling sound vibrated through me, making me even more aware my cock was still hard as a rock. “And guys?”
“No.” I answered louder than I’d intended. “I mean, not yet. I mean… I didn’t think I wanted that.”
“Oh, okay.” Tanner braced his arm on the bed to stand up.
Don’t blow this. Not now. Not when he’s right here. So close. So…
Forcing myself to move, I reached out and clutched at his shoulder. His skin was smooth, warm. I pressed my fingers into his flesh with enough force, he flinched. His gaze darted to mine, wary.
Swallowing hard, I willed myself to maintain eye contact. “I didn’t think I wanted that, until I met you.”
Tanner’s gaze raced back and forth between my hand, which was still gripping his shoulder, and my eyes, which felt like they were about to bulge out of my skull. I couldn’t blink. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think.
Do something. Say something
.
Then his mouth crashed into mine.
I like kissing. I always have. Even though I wasn’t super into any of the girls I’d been with, kissing was the one thing I still enjoyed. Warm mouths, wet tongues, moving together. It felt good. I seriously thought I’d done some decent kissing in my life.
I was wrong. Tanner’s mouth on mine for one fucking second proved to me that what I’d done before might have looked like kissing, might have felt like kissing, but was like the frozen french bread pizza version of kissing. Nothing like the real thing.
Nothing like this.
His tongue swept into my mouth, hot and velvety. His hand gripped the back of my neck, tugging me upright. Everything fell away. Disappeared. The whole world was this one kiss. I could have drowned in it and died happy.
Tanner pulled away, breathing hard, his forehead pressed to mine. The room spun like a carnival ride.
“You okay?”
His voice sounded lower than usual. Deep and gravelly. I gave a shaky nod, and he tipped his head back, looking at me.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” My heart beat double time as I realized he still had his hands on me. And he was still naked. And I was probably harder than I’d ever been in my entire life.
Jesus.
“We can stop.”
“No.” That wasn’t what I wanted. Not at all. “I just… I mean… we’re roommates. What if this doesn’t work out?”
Tanner’s lips pulled into a grin so sexy my brain turned to oatmeal. He rubbed the back of my neck. “So, one kiss and you’re already thinking about what happens if we break up?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“Let’s see how we feel after another kiss.” His face moved toward mine in what felt like slow motion. My mouth watered, and I trembled. If it had taken any longer, I might well have passed right the fuck out. He stopped a breath away from my lips, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I slammed my mouth into his with enough force he almost lost his balance.
I’d always imagined his thick dark hair would feel coarse, but it didn’t. It was like silk… rabbit fur. I wove my fingers through the strands, stroking again and again. I couldn’t get enough of the softness, of the scent of his shampoo—some coconut-lime shit that made me think of the beach.
The closer he pulled me, the closer I wanted to get. He held my neck so hard I was pretty sure I’d have bruises. I didn’t care. It felt too good to care. I’d never felt so wanted by anyone. I fisted his hair, trying to steady myself. My other hand was shaking, but I needed to touch him.
It landed on his chest. Firm. Solid. Warm, smooth skin stretched taut over muscles. I grazed his nipple and he groaned, low in his throat. Sexy as fuck. I felt the vibration in my mouth and had to remember to keep breathing. It would have been so easy not to. To just keep kissing him until I passed out or died.
Tanner broke away again, panting hard this time. His forehead stayed pressed against mine, his breath warm and fast on my lips. He tugged at my shirt, and I reached behind myself and yanked it off, tossing it to the ground.
I shivered, but it had nothing to do with being cold. Tanner ran his hand down my chest, and my abs bunched so tight they nearly cramped. My hips arched up of their own accord, and the tip of my cock bumped against his wrist. I almost came right then. Just from that little bit of contact. He wrapped his hand around me and stroked all the way down, slow and deliberate, putting just enough pressure at the base that I was able to focus. As I closed my eyes, I forced myself to breathe.
Don’t come. Not yet.
All the times I’d wanted this swirled through my head like a storm of erotic images. A pornado of fantasies. And not once did that fantasy include me blowing my load after a single stroke.
Tanner made a tentative pass up my cock with his thumb, sending my blood straight back to the boiling point. “Christ, you’re hard.”
I’d never heard his voice so low. Thick and rumbly. Like I needed anything to turn me on more than I already was. I tried to think of something to say in response, but before my brain could kick into gear, Tanner’s mouth was back on mine and thoughts weren’t even a possibility.
Tongue.
That was the only word I could remember, and even that one blurred as his rolled around mine.
He tugged at my shorts, and I helped shove them far enough down my legs that I could kick them off. I don’t remember lying down, but I must have, because the cool sheets were bunching under my back as Tanner’s body pressed me against the bed. Sound seemed layered—hearts pounding, breaths rasping, Tanner’s low groans. Sticky wetness echoed with each movement. Somewhere beneath it all, the faint squeak of the bed kept time with us.
Tanner ground his cock alongside mine, pressing into my stomach as I bucked against him. Hard thighs bracketed my hips, and he rolled us onto our sides, still thrusting.
“Fuck, Collin. You feel so fucking good.” His mouth moved to my neck as his hand slipped between us, wrapping around both of us. Our cocks rubbed together, surrounded by the warmth of his hand. Up and down and up and down, all that heat sliding back and forth. His teeth grazed my throat.
I wanted to touch him. Wanted to kiss him. Wanted to do anything, but I was lost in the sensations. My breath huffed out in giant wordless puffs. I ground my head against the pillow, fighting for air or control or anything I could find, but there was nothing. Nothing besides Tanner’s cock and mouth and hand.
Coming wasn’t an option—it was an imperative. A need. I tried to hold back, but the pressure was too great. I crested past the point of no return, not even wanting to look back, aching for release. The first shot pulsed out of me so hard and fast, I wasn’t even sure it had really happened, and then the feeling crashed over me. Waves of pleasure knocked me sideways, then swept me under as the rest unleashed.
Hot, thick bursts painted my chest, running down my ribs as Tanner continued to pump. My head jerked up with the final burst, and I caught my first glimpse of what was happening. Tanner’s dark hair swung low over his face. He was watching too. Watching me come. Watching our cocks move together as he stroked them. He uncurled his hand for a second, letting my cock slip free as he gripped his own, increasing the speed and thrusting into his fist.
The moan that rumbled through him made my balls clench again.
“Fuck,” he whispered, throwing me a look so full of lust and desperation, I grabbed his head and pulled it toward me.
My mouth crashed against his, and I felt his body tense as the first shot blasted out of him. I kissed him, hard, swallowing his groans as he emptied himself all over us. The tension ebbed from him, and he leaned into the kiss, tongue deeper in my mouth, spirals slower, exploring. He broke away once, twice, but each time he came back, like when you’re full but the food’s so damn good you want just one more bite. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be food. I wanted to be a goddamned
buffet
.
And I wanted him to devour me.
T
ANNER ROLLED onto his back, and reality started to sink in.
Fuck. What just happened?
Without the heat of Tanner’s body pressed against me, I could feel the cool air of the room drying out the come covering my chest. My come. His come. The blissed-out feeling gave way to something that felt a lot more like… panic.
“Shit,” Tanner said, shifting up onto his elbow. “Good thing
tomorrow’s laundry day. We got your bed pretty good.”
He’s worried about my sheets?
I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no words. None that made any sense to me, at least. Nothing made sense.
Tanner leaned across me and grabbed my shorts, mopping at his abs, then mine. I tensed when he touched me. “Dude. You all right?”
“Yeah.” I wasn’t sure I believed it, and I guess I didn’t sell it very well either, because his hand stilled, and then he tossed the shorts onto the floor and sat up. “Are you?”
He scrubbed his hand through his hair, then cracked his back again. I was scared shitless he was going to say no. Or worse, not say anything, go back to his side of the room and act like none of this even happened.
“Actually,” he said, and my heart froze, “I’m fucking starving. Have we got any food?”
Seriously? Food?
I still couldn’t move, but I managed to nod. “There’s a chicken parm sub in the fridge.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Some lady ordered one without cheese, but they made it with, so she didn’t want it.”