Moments Lost and Found (20 page)

Laurent knew Samantha well enough to
know that she would, unfortunately, have to learn just how bad he was on her
own. He could tell her. Hell, he
did
tell her. But she was so God damned
worried about losing herself to Laurent that she succeeded in preventing that
from happening. As long as she was working with George, Laurent couldn’t be
with her. As much as he loved her, as much as he was sure that he wanted to
spend the rest of his life with her, this was the line in the sand that he
could not cross.

And so he waited. He knew eventually
George would show his true colors. Laurent went against every instinct he had
to protect Samantha. He knew she wouldn’t listen. He just hoped that whatever
it was that George was after, he prayed that Samantha would get out before it
was too late. Because if anything happened to her at the hands of George,
Laurent would never be able to forgive himself.

 “I should tell you, Samantha,
when I found out that your agency was one of the ones pitching on the account,
it was the reason that pushed me to pursue and eventually accept TimeCap’s
offer. You know, Laurent and I used to be so close, we shared so many, uh,
things in the past. It is a shame how so much has changed though,
non
?
So, when this opportunity arose, I knew it could give me the chance to have a
taste of...” He trailed off and paused and then his smile got even smarmier,
“Plus, I couldn’t wait to see what you had to show me.” Perhaps it was all in
Sam’s imagination, but everything that George said sounded laced with innuendo.

 “And then, I couldn’t help but
wonder how Laurent would react when he found out that his girlfriend would be
working with me, helping me, of all people, succeed.” He smiled, but his smiles
always seemed menacing, mean. “How has he reacted, Samantha? Is he proud of
you? Of your new account?”

 “George, I’ve told you before,
Laurent has nothing to do with our working together. I’m not sure why you keep
trying to bring him into the conversation.” Sam was getting sick of his game.
She knew he was just trying to make her crack, make her give him some
information that he could hold over Laurent. The fact that she was working with
him at all was enough, unfortunately.

Sam’s entire world had changed.
Everything that had become her life was now gone. She had gone from working
with a man she loved to working with one she despised. As sexy and flirty and
fun as it was working with Laurent, it was the exact opposite working with
George. Sam felt like she had to take a shower after every meeting with him. In
fact, she almost always took Steve with her because she didn’t want to be alone
in a room with him.

George seemed to delight in making
Sam’s life hell. Naturally, he didn’t need to be in any of the meetings that he
was in, but he’d show up, typically mid-way through a presentation, make some
snide remark, flip through all the comps and, dismissively say, “I think you
can do better.” This being the corporate world, since everyone in the room
reported up to him, they’d all nod and voice their agreement, sending Sam and
Steve back to the drawing board. The more they presented, the more he rejected.
Sam knew it was just a game with him. It had to be. He had no idea what good
creative was, she knew his background was in accounting. He had been the
numbers and operations guy. But it was clear he enjoyed watching them squirm,
knowing if he said jump, as their agency, the response was either ‘how high?’
or lose the account.

And after everything that Sam had
given up for this account, she wasn’t going to lose it too. Ironic that, if she
could do it all over, she would have walked away, never accepting it in the
first place. But she had accepted it. And she kept telling herself that they’d
get through this and move on to the next account. The thought of that, of
having the energy to pursue anything new, Sam couldn’t go there. Losing Laurent
and working with George simultaneously sapped her of everything: her energy,
her happiness, and on some days, her will to live. All she wanted to do was hit
the rewind button. Never before in her life had she made such a monumental
mistake. She never knew that one wrong move could change everything. But it
did. And she was the one who had made it. She had no one to blame but herself,
which she did on a daily, often hourly basis.

The last time that she and Laurent
had broken up, or whatever exactly that was, that was different. During that
last time, they still communicated, albeit briefly and only about work, but as
empty as Sam felt then, she hadn’t felt completely decimated. Perhaps it was
because it had still been early on in their relationship. As awful as she felt
back then, there was no comparison to what she was feeling now. That was three
weeks of hell, and maybe, like with many things in life, the memory is better
than the actuality. But Sam couldn’t put into words what she felt now. It was
beyond numbness. It was a level below that.

Yes, she had passed numb and was at
the deepest depths of emotional pain she could ever imagine. She hadn’t just
hurt herself, she hurt someone she loved, and hurt him deeply. She didn’t think
he would ever be able to forgive her, and she didn’t blame him. She didn’t want
to be forgiven. She felt like she deserved the misery she was in. She
understood why people cut themselves and hurt themselves on purpose. That type
of pain was a pin-prick compared to what her head and her heart felt.

Whereas before in her life, Sam had
mapped everything out, now, she felt like it was all a jumbled mess and she had
no idea what the future would look like. Even though she had felt that way
early on in her relationship with Laurent, it was a new and exciting roadmap that
she enjoyed exploring. Now, it was just a dead end. She felt like she was
trapped in this horrible limbo.
This must be what purgatory is like
, she
thought.

Sam never opened the ring box. Not
once. She couldn’t bear to see what was inside even though she knew. If she
looked at the ring, it would make it all the more real, it would be a clear
symbol of everything she had thrown away. She thought about sending the box
back, but she thought that would insult and hurt Laurent even more than she
already had. She wasn’t sure what the protocol was. And of course, the ring
itself was insignificant compared to everything else.

Perhaps it was hope, though she felt
about as hopeless as one could feel, but she kept the little black box in her
purse, with her at all times. It was stupid, really. One tiny thing that could
have so much meaning. But she kept it with her. Every now and then she’d reach
inside her purse and feel the box, rubbing the soft velvet between her thumb
and forefinger as a reminder of what things were, not so long ago. And a brief
moment of happiness would flash across her, but it would all too quickly be
replaced by guilt and depression as to what she lost. What she threw away.

Laurent hadn’t tried to get in touch
with her. He made his intentions, desires and feelings perfectly clear on the
note he left in the hotel room. 

So Sam drifted through life. She
felt disconnected from everything and everyone. Even the time she spent with
her dogs didn’t produce the joy it always had in the past. Which just made her
feel even guiltier, not that they noticed. Steve tried his best to pull Sam out
of her depression, but he knew the issue was much bigger than anything he could
help with. Sam considered seeking professional help, or medication, but she
knew what the problem was. She didn’t need a shrink to tell her. All she could
do was go through the motions and hope that once the the final pieces of the
TimeCap rebrand launched, that she could step back and reevaluate. She
seriously considered resigning the account once it launched. She had no idea
what might happen after that, but of the few things that weren’t hazy, this was
one of them — Sam was realizing that for the sake of her mental health,
she needed to get away from George, get away from his account and figure out
where to go once she did. Whether or not that future included Laurent, she
didn’t know.

“Steve, you look awful, are you ok?”
Sam asked with genuine concern as he poked his head into her office.

 “You’re stealing my lines.” He
tried to smile and make light of the fact that he was turning green, but then
winced and grabbed his stomach, “I think it might have been the fish tacos from
lunch.”

 “Ugh, Steve, when are you
going to learn that fish served out of the back of a truck is just asking for
trouble.”

 “Um, I think now might be that
time?” he covered his mouth to stifle, Sam wasn’t sure what, but probably the
tacos coming back up.

 “Sorry, you don’t need ‘I told
you so’ right now. Go home, feel better.”

 “Thanks, but we have our meeting
at 6 with George.” He barely got that out before he ran down the hall. Sam
hoped that the retching she heard was into a trash can… A few minutes later he
came back, “Um, yeah, I think I probably should head out.”

 “Can you drive? Do you want to
get someone here to take you home?”

Steve smiled, “I wouldn’t want to
put anyone through that. I’ll just leave the window open and hope for the
best.”

 “Oh God, Steve, are you sure?”

 “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine. Are
you sure about your meeting? Maybe take” he paused to either burp or lose it
again. He swallowed and finished his sentence “someone else with you?”

 “I’ll figure it out. Please
don’t worry about me. Take care of yourself and please text me when you get
home so I know you got there safely?” Sam felt awful that she couldn’t drive
him herself but she did have the meeting with George that she couldn’t miss.

 “If I don’t puke all over the
phone, I’ll text you as soon as I make it.” He smiled and then gave her a weak
wave as he walked out.

Sam hated that George scheduled
meetings for 6pm. It was a typical power move to make it clear he called the
shots. Not to mention that by then, he was onto at least his second scotch,
which always raised the smarmy level. Even when Steve was there with her, it
wouldn’t stop George from making inappropriate comments to Sam.

When she walked into his office, at
his realization that she was alone, he sported a large, menacing grin,
“Samantha, good evening. No powder puff tonight?” She also hated that he called
her Samantha. Laurent was the only one she liked calling her that. It had felt
special when Laurent used her full name. With George, it felt like he was
taking one more thing from her and Laurent and using it for his own pleasure.

 “Steve wasn’t feeling well.”
Sam replied flatly. She was still standing just a few feet inside his office.
Something told her she should stay close to the exit.

 “What a shame. However will we
make it through the meeting without him?” George asked sarcastically as he
walked around from behind his desk to kiss her on her cheeks. She hated him
getting this close to her, and she could smell the scotch on his breath as he
grabbed both of her upper arms a little too tightly and kissed her left, then
right cheek, lingering a little too long on both. When he finished, he didn’t
let go of her arms, but just stepped back a bit to say, “I think this might be
the first time I’ve had you all to myself, Samantha.”

 “Well, I have the new
campaign, as discussed, and I think we can go through it quickly so I’ll be out
of your hair.” Sam said trying to refocus the tenor of the conversation towards
the task at hand.

 “What’s the rush, Samantha? If
I didn’t know any better, I’d say you seem a little up tight. Would you like a
drink? Help take that edge off?” he asked with mock concern.

 “Thank you, no. Now, shall we
go over the layouts?” Sam asked as George held out his hand directing her to a
chair in the sitting area of his office, at the opposite end of the door. It
was the chair she usually sat in as the coffee table was right in front of it
and she could spread out all the comps on the table, so she took her seat. As
she started to pull all the boards out, focused on getting them ready, the
sound of George closing the door startled her, getting her attention as she looked
up to see him standing proudly of his accomplishment. He had her here, in his
office, alone, with the door closed, after hours. Sam knew this wasn’t good,
but maybe she was over-reacting. Maybe he was just smarmy and gross but all
talk. She hoped so.

George picked up a copy of AdCritic
from the credenza and brought it over to her, sitting on the arm of her chair,
leaning over invading her personal space, “Have you seen the latest issue,
Samantha?” Unfortunately, Sam had. There was an article on George’s new
position at TimeCap, with a photo of the two of them at the party unveiling the
new logo. The picture showed George with his arm around a tightlipped Sam. Ever
since her disastrous interview the previous year, it seemed the magazine
couldn’t wait to knock Sam down from her pedestal. Under the picture, the
caption read:
Sam Davis with yet another French media tycoon, George LaRue.

 “Yes, George, I saw it.
Congratulations.” She wasn’t sure what the appropriate response was, or if
there even was one. Thankfully, he moved off the arm of her chair and now was
standing across from her. With her siting and him standing, again, it felt like
another power move on his part. She scooted up to the edge of her chair. She
didn’t want to be sitting so far back that she couldn’t spring up and out.

 “Congratulations to us,
Samantha.” He lifted his drink and then asked, “What do you think they meant by
the caption?”

 “I don’t think they mean
anything by it, George. My work with Laurent is well known, you’re both French
and in media, that’s all.”

 “Really, you think that’s all
they’re implying? I think they’re suggesting much more. I think they’re
implying that you and I have what you and Laurent had.” He smirked proudly.

 “I think that’s quite a
stretch from one caption, George. Regardless, our relationship is
nothing
like what I had with Laurent.” Sam didn’t want to lose her cool, but she didn’t
like where this was going.

 “Oh, but it could be,
Samantha.” He finished his drink and walked over to pour himself what Sam assumed
was his third scotch.

 “No, it couldn’t be, George.”
She said coolly.

With his drink in hand he was facing
her again “Now, now, Samantha. Where’s that client service you’re known for?”

 “Client service and my
relationship with Laurent are two different things, George.”

 “You’re a very proud woman,
you know that, Samantha?” He said as he stalked around. She was acutely aware
of his movements, his location in the room. There was something that was off,
way off, and she knew it. She knew to trust her instincts, and her instincts
were telling her to get out of there, that she shouldn’t be alone with this
man.

 “Pride, it’s one of the seven
deadly sins,
non
? Perhaps that’s why you and Laurent used to get along
so well? Or, perhaps that’s why you’re no longer together? Both too proud.” He
was rambling. Sam hated when he brought up Laurent’s name. As creepy as George
was, tonight, he was even more than that. He was scaring her.

 “Yes, I think your pride is
getting in the way. I’d like to see a little humility in you.” he took a sip,
as he paused, thinking. Sam could see the dirty rusted wheels turning in his
twisted mind. “Yes, you need to be humbled. Perhaps then you’ll be more
grateful for my account. You are grateful for my account, are you not, Samantha?”

 “Yes, George, of course I am.”
Sam wasn’t sure whether this would pacify him. She wasn’t sure where this was
going, but it wasn’t good. He started coming towards her and her heart started
pounding. She tried to think of all the things that Craig had taught her, but
now, in the moment with this man, her mind was going blank. She hoped that
everything that she learned would instinctively kick in like Craig assured her
it would. That muscle memory would take over. Sam prayed that was true because
her mind having been such a mess lately, was failing her.

 “Then why don’t you show me?
Show me how grateful you are.” He was getting close, too close to her. Sam rose
out of her chair and immediately moved behind it, she needed to put distance
and an object between her and George. She would have preferred something larger
than the chair, but it would have to do for now. She just needed to get across
the room to the door.

 “I don’t know what you’re
suggesting, George. I try to show my gratitude every time we meet and present
new ideas. All of our hard work is our gratitude.” She thought maybe if she
could shift it back to work, he would back off.

He laughed, “Oh, Samantha, I think
you know very well what I’m suggesting, and
I couldn’t give a fuck
about
the work. I’d like you to show me how grateful you are the way you used to show
Laurent. You know what I’m talking about, Samantha.” He kept coming towards her
as she tried to make her way around the office.

 “What I had with Laurent has
nothing to do with you or your account, George.” She stated for the umpteenth
time.

 “See, there’s that pride of
yours, rearing its ugly head again. If you were humbled by me, by the work I
have given you, you would show me your appreciation.”

 “I do, George.”

 “No, Samantha, not the way I
want to be appreciated. See, and this little game we’re playing, you’re trying
to get away from me, it’s very insulting. It’s hurting my feelings, Samantha.
Why are you trying to hurt my feelings?”

 “I’m not, George. You’re just
making me uncomfortable, and I’d like to leave, please.”

He laughed at that.

 “Oh, Samantha, this?
This
makes you uncomfortable?” he pointed to them walking around the office, “You
have no idea what discomfort is. But don’t you worry, I’m going to take care of
that. I’ll show you. Perhaps once you’ve been truly ‘uncomfortable’, then
you’ll have a little humility. But it seems I am going to have to show you.”

 “And what exactly are you
planning on doing, George?” she thought if she could just keep him talking she
could get out of there or prevent this from escalating.

He laughed again, like he had his
own little private joke, “So, so many things, Samantha. It will really be up to
you to see how long it takes to break you.” Fuck, this wasn’t just in her mind.
She had to get out of there. “You’re a stubborn woman, another quality I find
distasteful. I’m surprised Laurent liked that. He used to like women who were
more agreeable.” He paused as if reflecting, “I guess people change.”

 “And how have I been stubborn
with you, George?”
keep him talking, keep him moving
. Unfortunately, she
wasn’t getting any closer to the door.

 “Well, this little dance we’re
doing here, for one. If you would just give in, it would make things so much
easier.”

 “Easier for whom?”

 “Touché, Samantha. You are a
quick one, aren’t you?”

 “I try to be.”

 “Yes, I’ve become very well
aware of that. That quick little mouth of yours that you think is so clever,
I’ll tell you something, there’s really only one thing I’d like that mouth to
be doing, and it’s not being clever with words. Do you understand me,
Samantha?”

 “No, George. Perhaps I’m not
that quick. Please, spell it out for me.”

 “Well, Samantha, I think the
best place to learn humility is on your knees. I’ll bet I can fuck the pride
right out of you. Maybe then you’ll learn your place.”

 “I know my place, George, and
it’s not on my knees in front of you.” Sam was going to have to make a run for
it.

 “See, that’s exactly what I’m
talking about. I’m just asking you to show me a little gratitude and you refuse.
I’ll be you showed Laurent how grateful you were for his account.”

 “I’ll say it again, my
relationship with Laurent has nothing to do with this, George.”

 “Oh, but it does, Samantha. I
am so sick and tired of everything just falling into his lap.” He laughed, “No
pun intended. And, there are already so many similarities here, as the magazine
pointed out. I’m your client. I’m French. There’s no reason I shouldn’t have
everything he’s had.”

 “So you think forcing a woman
is the right way to go about that?”

 “Oh, so dramatic, Samantha. It
doesn’t have to be by force. If you’d just do what I’m asking, then there’d be
no force at all.” He suggested, “Well, maybe a little. I sometimes get carried
away.” He smiled at the thought of that. Sam knew she couldn’t let her
repulsion get the better of her. She had to keep a clear mind.

 “George, it sounds like your
issue is with Laurent, not with me. So why don’t you just let me leave here and
talk with him.”

He laughed at that. “You think I’m
going to just let you walk out of here before I teach you a lesson? Do you have
any idea how patient I’ve been? I finally get you alone and you think I’m just
going to squander my opportunity? See, there’s that pride again, thinking you
deserve to leave when
you
want to.” Then his tone turned to pure
darkness, “You’ll leave when I’m finished with you.”