Moonlight (5 page)

All this time, since the moment this evening when he’d realized there was more than an intellectual spark between them, something physical that hadn’t existed before, he’d been anticipating this moment. He sank down, pressing his forearms to the mattress above her shoulders. Her breasts were warm against his chest, her hips matched the rolling, rocking motion of his, her body utterly feminine, soft where he was hard, curved exactly so.

“Alec.” Her voice was low and smooth, and she made him feel like he was the only man ever to satisfy her.

He wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t recognize the carnal element of this encounter, but he understood for the first time in his life the difference between taking a woman to bed for the physical pleasure alone and what he was doing now. To be honest, he was worried about what that meant; knowing he was making love to Philippa and that she might not be making love with him.

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He said, “Look at me, Philippa.”

She did and he could see the faraway look in her eyes and he panicked at what that signified. She might not feel as he did. For Christ’s sake, she was going to marry bloody Captain Bancroft. He fell into her eyes, into those green depths, and he knew himself and her well enough to understand he wasn’t going to come away from this with himself intact.

He thrust again and again, and she held him and matched him, and he kept remembering all the times he’d seen her, talked to her, laughed with her or simply sat at her side without needing to say anything. Or sat alone in his London apartments reading or rereading one of her letters or writing one to her. Never once had he thought she was someone he could have. Not once had he thought she was the woman he was destined to love. All this time, he hadn’t known. He’d never guessed.

Why hadn’t he?

He pulled out and turned her over, and she understood right away what he wanted because she went to her hands and knees. God, yes.

Dane cupped her hips, and he shouted when he was inside her again, because it was even better this time than the first. They were close to the head of the bed, and he shifted them again until she had her hands on wall above the bed frame, and he was on his knees behind her, one hand holding her breast, the other around her hips with his fingers between her legs, making sure she came to climax.

Her response was, quite soon, a long, low moan. He kissed the back of her neck, moving inside her, and feeling the tremor of her incipient orgasm around him and he stopped.

“Alec.” His name was a sob of frustration.

He held her tight, not moving. “What?” he whispered. “What do you want?”

“Finish me.”

“Finish you.” He got a hand between her and the wall and covered her breast with his hand. “I’m not sure what you mean.” Carolyn Jewel Moonlight 35

“You do,” she said. She turned her head to him as far as she could.

“Like this?” He slid out of her almost all the way and pushed back in slowly.

“Harder.”

“This?” A little harder, this time.

“More.” She pushed her hips back.

“Like this, then?” Again. When he was inside her this time, she came, and, Jesus, he’d never felt anything like it, having her convulse around him. She called his name and what he heard was Philippa’s voice. Philippa. The woman who knew him best.

Who was kind and generous and thoughtful and who had always been able to make him laugh, to whom he had confessed some of his most intimate thoughts and concerns, and what if she didn’t feel the same?

Something inside him broke. He felt the strings of his heart vibrating with the power of what he felt for her. He wasn’t the same man as when this had started.

He drew out, and put her on her back again, and her legs parted and her knees lifted and he was inside her again and he was trying to just fuck her but he couldn’t. He was rough, but she met that without reservation. She gave him back even more until he was the one rushing to orgasm.

Moments before his crisis, with his body quivering on the edge of release, he gritted his teeth and with his heart pounding at his chest as if his would break through his ribs it occurred to him that Philippa was not a courtesan whom he could expect to have taken precautions of her own or who had the resources to act after the fact if there were consequences.

He stopped moving in her. When he was certain the danger of ejaculation had passed, he grabbed her face between his hands. Philippa pressed the back of her head into the mattress. “Alec.” She wrapped her arms around him and groaned. “This is unfair of you. What are you doing to me?”

“Look at me,” he said.

Her eyes flickered open and slowly focused on him.

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He swept his thumbs along her temples. “Philippa.” He kissed her forehead, and he couldn’t help himself, he pressed farther into her. Then he dropped a kiss on both her cheeks.

“What is it?” she asked. She reached to brush his hair off his forehead. “What’s made you look like your heart is breaking?”

“Only you would know that.”

“What is it, my darling Alec?”

Panic constricted his chest when he saw her eyes widen. He had himself in better control now, so he drew partially out of her then slowly in again. “You’ll think I’m mad, but I’m not. And you know me. You know I’m not the kind of man who would put a lover at risk. I will not put you at risk of a child out of wedlock.” He kissed the edge of her mouth. “Never you.”

Her eyes went wide. “Hush, my darling. It’s all right. You can withdraw, isn’t that so?”

He started moving in her again. “I could, Philippa.” Very quickly, he was near the edge again, and she sucked in a hard, fast breath when he was as far inside her as he could get. “I will if that’s what you want.” Her eyes never left his face which gave him hope. “You know I wouldn’t ask that of you if I didn’t mean every word. We’re here, Philippa. Like this.” He stared into her face. “You wouldn’t be if you didn’t love me.” He pushed up on his hands again, keeping up a slow thrust and withdrawal. Her fingers curled around his arms, and she matched him, moved with him, wrapped her legs around him. But he did not see any answer in her face, and he did not intend to take silence for consent.

“You can’t marry Bancroft when we feel like this together. Not when I’ve made you scream my name, and I’m about to scream yours.” She put her arms around his shoulders and held him tight. Her eyes glittered with tears. But she was looking at him. “Alec.”

“Say yes, Philippa.” He thrust a little faster now and when he spoke again, his Carolyn Jewel Moonlight 37

words were breathless. “I’m very close. Answer me now, before we have to stop this.” He felt his orgasm coming on, but he kept his eyes on her face. His heart twisted in his chest. He bent his head to kiss away a tear that escaped when she blinked.

She brought him closer yet. “Come, Alec.”

“Is that yes?” He stared into her eyes, wet with tears and didn’t know the cause.

“It’s madness. The moonlight made us mad.”

He stilled. “Answer me, Philippa.” His gaze locked with hers. “Don’t make me live without you. Don’t make me spend the rest of my life bereft of you.” She closed her eyes and opened them slowly, and then she smiled. “Yes.”

“Jesus.” He surged forward.

Neither of them said anything more. Philippa made a tiny sound in the back of her throat as he gave in to all the physical sensations coming at him. He gave in to the emotions, too. He knew, dimly, that he was unlikely to get a child on her this time, but he still thought of how he would feel when held his first child in his arms, by the woman he loved beyond all others.

Her sweat slick body moved with his, her arms tightened around him and she kissed his cheek, his mouth, and then let her head fall back while he drank in her face, her parted lips until he had no choice but to give in to a climax that shook him hard and rolled him through a wave he wasn’t sure he was going to survive.

He did, of course. As did Philippa.

They were married by special licence a week later by the vicar in a small ceremony in the rose garden of Frieth House. If anyone in attendance wondered why the bride and groom vanished through a blue door at the rear of the house, no one said a word.

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About the Author

Carolyn Jewel is an award winning author of historical and paranormal romance. She lives in Northern California with her son and assorted dogs and cats. You can find her on the web at http://www.carolynjewel.com, and at twitter at http://www.twitter.com/cjewel She loves to hear from readers so please email at [email protected]