More Than I Wanted (4 page)

We
made small talk until we got to the pub. Walking in was quite the
experience. People came over to see him, shook his hand, caught up,
and welcomed their friend home. He’d been a regular here, but
hadn’t been back since he returned from his tour of duty.

Apologizing
for the stream of interruptions, I told him nonsense, it was nice to
see people appreciated him. I loved watching the interactions, and
the genuine pleasure in his face and voice seeing old friends. A few
beers were sent over, and when things calmed down I smiled.

“You’re
quite the social butterfly,” I said.

“It’s
been awhile. I come here time to time, but I’ve been gone.”

“Right,”
I nodded. I asked a few more questions about his time away, and hoped
I didn’t over step boundaries.

Austin
was pretty open about some things, but he said there are other things
you just keep inside and don’t talk about, or you talk to
another soldier who’s been through it. It’s hard to
relate to some of the stuff and lifestyle you’re living, and
then come back and reintegrate into civilian life again.

He
asked me about my running, and I over shared way too many details.
I’m surprised his eyes didn’t glaze over. I really
enjoyed talking with him, and hoped he felt the same way. I was
fanning lustful flames inside, but had no clue where he was at there.
He held his cards close, and wasn’t giving that away.

He
had this sexy smile, and every time he’d grin, my heart beat a
little faster. It was embarrassing how gooey I was feeling over him.
I’ve had boyfriends in the past, but this was different. I was
drawn to him, so absolutely smitten, that I was a little surprised
how little control I had over it.

The
tavern owner picked up our tab and shook Austin’s hand,
exchanging a few words about his own old service days. It certainly
wasn’t a romantic meal with so many people stopping by, but to
be honest, I wasn’t sure if he was looking for a buddy or a
girlfriend at this point. I just couldn’t read him. One minute
he seemed warm and engaged, while the next he was in his own space.

As
we got into his car, my mind went into overdrive. Should I invite him
in; will it give him the wrong idea? Okay, so what if I want to give
him that idea? Will he think I’m too forward? Maybe I should
wait. Should I just give him a kiss and go in alone? Oh, who am I
kidding, I want him to come in at least for a little while. My brain
was racing, trying to figure out what I should do. Maybe I just let
him take the lead and decide. I wonder if these kinds of thoughts are
going through his mind.

After
driving back to my house, we settled in the driveway. I invited him
in, and Austin took me up on the offer, following me inside. It was
when the door closed that I realized he was interested – at
least for now. His hands were large and masculine, and all ready
caressing my shoulder from behind as we walked through to the living
room. His touch felt so nice, and I wondered where it would lead. I
knew what I hoped for.

I
turned to face Austin, and he scooped me in his arms thanking me for
my company tonight. I looked into his eyes and got lost as he bent
his head to kiss me. His lips were slightly parted, and as I tilted
my head I sighed a little before kissing him. Our tongues grew more
heated, our bodies pressed together, and feeling his arms wrapped
around me I ached for more. His kiss left me breathless and wanting
more; I think I could have stood there kissing him all night. There
was something magical going on, some kind of wild chemistry, and I
was in lust!

He
certainly wasn’t shy, and had no problem with confidence.

His
fingers ran up through my hair, raking it gently, and then tenderly
drew down the length of my neck to my shoulder. Breaking free from
our kiss, he brushed my hair off of my shoulder and leaned in,
nibbling and sucking on my neck. Everything inside of me went weak,
feeling his warm breath, his mouth, and his fingers back in my hair.
He had me if he wanted, there was no way I could turn off what I was
feeling in the moment.

“You’re
a sexy woman, Kate,” he mewed, as he enticed me with more
kisses.

All
he had to do was snap his fingers and my clothes would be off. There
was no going back; I was drawn in like a bee to honey. I wanted him,
desperately wanted him, and tried like crazy to reel it in, but it
wasn’t happening.

When
the banging at the door started, I groaned, knowing what it meant.
His voice soon followed, “Kate, it’s Nick, let me in.”
Of all the times for this to happen…

“I’m
sorry,” I said, pulling away. “I’ll take care of
this.”
Fuck you, Nick, you just interrupted me at the wrong
moment
.

Austin
followed me to the door. Opening it, he stood behind me. I started to
tell him he needed to go home, only, before I could get the words
out, Nick lunged, “What the hell? Who are you?”

Shit.
Nick was drunk, “Get away from my girl,” he slurred and
swung. He connected, but just barely. He was a big guy, so I
panicked, hoping he wouldn’t hurt Austin.

I
was amazed watching Austin move. It took him less than a minute to
have him fully restrained, his arms tucked up behind him and his head
pulled back. “Apologize to the lady,” he said, refusing
to let him go. I guess that military training paid off – wow.

“Fuck
you,” he spat out violently, trying to unhook from the hold.

“Apologize
to the lady,” Austin said, his tone now firm. Using his knee,
he jammed behind Nick’s leg, I heard a grunt. “I said
apologize to the lady.”

“I’m
sorry,” he forced out.

“Your
services are no longer needed,” Austin said. “Is that
understood? She said it’s over, and you don’t seem to get
that.”

Austin
turned and looked at me, “Is it over?”

I
nodded, “Yes.”

“It’s
over, see that buddy. It’s time for you to leave. I’m
going to let you go. If you give me any trouble, I won’t be so
gentle with you next time,” he growled.

Austin
let him go. Nick shook it off, looked at me, looked at Austin, and
then groaned. “She’s all yours buddy, I don’t want
her anyway,” he said walking away, trying to hold it together.

Closing
the door behind him, I turned to Austin, “I’m so sorry.”
I was mortally embarrassed, my heart racing, full of adrenalin. How
could Nick pick tonight of all nights?

“Not
your fault. Maybe I should go,” he said.

“Please
don’t.” I was devastated, I felt the mood shift and there
was nothing I could do.

“Look,
I think you’re a nice girl and all, but I’m not ready for
a drama filled relationship. He shouldn’t bother you anymore,
and if he does feel free to call me, but I think I need to pass for
now. It’s not personal, it’s just that I’ve got my
own garbage to deal with, and I’m not ready for this kind of
stuff.”

I
silently nodded. I was heartbroken. We were about to get naughty, and
then Nick showed up and ruined everything. I watched as he politely
excused himself and closed the door as he walked out. I felt numb. I
wasn’t ready for him to leave, not yet, and not like this.

Leaning
up against the wall, I cried. As fast as it started, it ended. My
feelings were jumbled between frustration and being let down. It was
over. It’s not like I had a lot invested, a couple of nights
talking, but I was starting to feel like we might take this
somewhere. I guess I was wrong.

Normally
I would have called Heather, but at this point I didn’t want to
talk to anybody.

There
was a knock at the door about ten minutes later. My gut told me it
was Nick back for another round, and I didn’t have it in me to
hash it out. I went to double check through the peek hole and saw
Austin standing there, his hand running through his hair.

Opening
the door, I looked at him confused.

“I’m
not ready to leave yet,” he said. “Can I come in?”

I
opened the door wider, stepping back so he could enter. I was
stunned, uncertain what drew him back, but here he was.

“I
sat in my car, and I couldn’t leave. I’m not sure why.
Something told me to come back inside,” he explained.

I
didn’t say anything; I simply walked up to him, and rested my
head on his chest. His arms slowly wrapped around me, and I knew he
was here to stay.

We
stood motionless, embracing, understanding in that moment that
something was happening. We’d gone from strangers to friends,
and now an invisible force was pulling us together. Would we become a
pair? There was an unspoken connection, an intimacy just waiting to
bond us closer.

I
tipped my head up looking at Austin, and as our eyes met our
chemistry sizzled. Something changed – and it told me he wasn’t
going anywhere.

I
closed my eyes as he leaned in to kiss me. Only this time it wasn’t
a soft, tender kiss. It was hungry and filled with desire. Hands
groped, tongues explored, and the heat was ratcheted up a few
notches. Longing filled my body, and we stood in that very spot,
afraid to let go of the moment.

When
we finally broke free of our shameless kiss, Austin spoke. “I’m
a mess. I have a lot of garbage to work through. I can’t
promise you a smooth ride all of the time.”

“Volatile,
I get emotional and way too clingy,” I said, in barely a
whisper.

“I
have nightmares, I get moody, and I’ll rarely put the toilet
seat down,” he answered, kissing me again.

“I’m
messy, hate to do dishes, and wear sweatshirts more than I wear sexy
clothing,” I added.

His
hands worked up and down my body, back into my hair, while my own
hands rested on his ass, cupping, squeezing, and pulling him in
tightly. I felt his bulge pressing into me.

“I
watch too much football, drink too much beer, and like to have sex a
lot,” he continued with his kisses.

“Who’s
your team?” I asked, in between the making out.

“Giants,”
he said, breathlessly.

“Shit,
I’m an Eagles fan, not sure this will work,” I said.

“If
we have sex a lot, I won’t watch football as much. Okay, that’s
a lie, I will, but I can forgive your poor choice in teams,” he
laughed, our kisses continuing.

“If
we have sex a lot, I’ll be a happy girl,” I mewed.

Slowly,
his hands found the edge of my shirt, and he started to tug at it,
and then lift it over my head. I wanted this, and I wanted him now. I
was grateful I’d dug through my lingerie drawer earlier and
opted for a sexy red bra.

I
didn’t want to break our stride, the sexual tension was high,
our need for one another was obvious, but I also realized standing in
the middle of the living room wasn’t the optimal place for a
hot rendezvous, and with that I took Austin’s hand and led him
into the bedroom.

He
followed behind me, and without a word spoken I reached around and
unhooked my bra, letting it fall off my shoulders. Slipping my arms
through, I let the fabric restraint drop to the floor.

Austin’s
eyes never left me. He watched with intent, never looking away. As my
bra fell down to the floor, his fingers found my breasts. His hands
were warm to the touch, and cupping a breast with one hand, I watched
as he rolled a nipple between the fingers of his other. Closing my
eyes, I enjoyed the sensation of electricity running through my body.
A gentle squeeze and a soft pinch had my knees going weak.

Tingling
sensations ran through my body. As Austin found my mouth our heated
kisses returned, passionate, hungry, and filled with lust and need.

Slowly
he backed me up to the bed. Leaning back, I sank into the covers.
Austin lowered his face to my breast, his lips suckling me into his
mouth. I felt the dampness between my legs, and ached for him to
continue.

Was
I moving too fast? We barely knew each other, a date, a talk, was
this all a mistake? I was torn between wanting passionate sex, and
being afraid he’ll take me for a whore. I tried to quiet my
mind, but it wasn’t happening. Ah, I just wanted to enjoy the
moment, why do I have to do this?

When
it came down to it, we’re two consenting adults, and sex is
sex. It doesn’t have to mean forever, but if it does bring us
closer, is this the man I want to get into a relationship with? He
said he’s got a lot of stuff to work through after coming home.
Should I back up, give him space, and let him work through his
issues?

I
tried to focus, but as his lips nibbled and sucked at my breast and
nipple, my thoughts got clouded. I’ll deal with it later, yeah,
later. It felt so good, like a surge of current running through my
body. I was sure my panties were soaked, and knew he would be more
than capable of satisfying me, if his touch was any indication. He
had a raw prowess, and the hunger and lust was a heady combination.

Our
bodies tangled together, clothes slowly being shed. His skin was
warm, and as we meshed as one, we slicked with sweat. His body over
mine, watching his chiseled chest, his eyes, his lips, and with each
thrust I pushed up into him. Wrapping my thighs tightly around him, I
tensed as an orgasm rolled through my like a wave cresting.

His
own followed shortly, and together we collapsed side by side, barely
talking, breathing hard. My hand drew along his chest and down to his
stomach. I just wanted to touch him, couldn’t get enough, and
slowly I found the courage to speak.

“I’m
glad you’re here,” I whispered.

“Me
too,” he said, smiling. His eyes were closed, enjoying the
pleasures of my hand lingering across his body.

“This
doesn’t have to mean anything,” I said, letting him off
the hook. I hope it didn’t make me sound like a slut, but I’d
rather that than come off as needy.

Austin
opened his eyes and turned to face me, “It means something,”
he said softly. His hand gracefully cupped my face, and he leaned
over to kiss me. “I can’t promise forever, but I can
promise right now.”