Music Notes (Heartbeat #3) (15 page)

‘Don’t keep bragging there brother, this is messed up,” Ron finally spoke his peace. “You need to come clean and tell Madison what happened and beg for her forgiveness.”

“Thanks Ron but that isn’t happening she is devastated and there is no way she will listen to me now.” I was broken far more than I ever thought I could be. All my dreams of a wonderful family and life were shattered. I yelled at the driver to pull the van over just in time for me to get sick on the pavement.

First, I get all the messages from Madison and the last one that I keep replaying in my mind…
OMG please tell me this isn’t happening…
Glancing at my phone and more messages, now I am seeing message after message for me to call Meila. When will she stop? She has already ruined my life, my marriage and my children will be growing up not knowing me because Madison won’t want me near her. I will never be able to look into Madison’s eyes again. The disappointment will be exactly how I see my father in my own eyes. Nothing will change that even after years have passed. Again with the messages, Meila is sending me –

Rand please know I had your best interests in mind.
I had to talk to your wife, she was wondering what happened. I told her the whole truth. You will need to deal with her as Madison right now cannot think of talking to you at all about last night.

Rand – I felt bad how I left things this morning. Please pick up so I can talk to you.

Wow Rand – I helped comfort you through your missing your wife last night and you won’t even listen to me…or return my calls or messages.

“ENOUGH!!!” I threw the phone out into the intersection. I didn’t want to hear anyone or anything from this moment on. I closed my eyes and put my head to the window.

“Let it lie, and leave him be,” I heard Maxwell say as he gently patted my shoulder. They never woke me and the band pulled off the radio show and finished up the last interview saying my wife was pregnant and I had to head home. It sounded good and wasn’t a lie, but I probably had no home to head to. Now as the van headed to drop me off first and we entered my driveway, I felt hollow inside. The outside sunshine didn’t warm me it burned right through me. I got out and told the guys I would catch up with them later. I needed to see Madison and let her walk out on me. I deserved it, I deserved it all. Anything she wanted, to yell, cry, throw shit at me, I had it coming.

I hollered her name as I entered our house. My voice echoed back to me and there was no response. Maybe, just maybe I wore her out emotionally and she was lying down. As I walked in our bedroom I found it in such disarray. The bed was unmade, there were clothes scattered about which was out of character for Madison because since we moved in together she was so neat and tidy. Something was wrong. I looked over and took notice of luggage, several pieces of luggage. Oh no where did she go? My mind was racing and I was in a total panic. I grabbed the house phone and looked up the numbers for Grace and it just rang and went to voicemail. I then dialed Jillian’s cell and again it prompted me to leave a voice message. Cecile I knew I would reach but when I got her out of the office greeting I knew that they all must know by now what happened. Pain ripped through my back now and I forced myself to continue dialing a few other numbers. I even tried Jake, but I refused to reach out to Thomas. Then it hit me. One last person she was friends with, Connor. I dialed his number and he answered, “Hello?”

“Hey Connor this is Rand. I need to find Madison. She’s gone, she left, and I need to find her.” I kept on rambling and I know I was confusing the shit out of Connor.

“Rand slow down. What happened, and where do you think she went?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” I yelled, “SHE’S JUST GONE!”

Connor remained calm and I did tell him that we had a disagreement of such, actually we never spoke, she messaged me that she was upset and couldn’t talk to me. Connor said he would let me know if he heard anything but that maybe she was blowing off steam.

I got off the phone and again the pain hit my back. I felt like I was getting whacked with a wooden paddle full force. I guess I deserved this pain too. I reached in the medicine cabinet and grabbed a few muscle relaxers and chugged them down with the first bottle I could open which was a cold beer from the refrigerator. I began to tire and I sat on the sofa. I closed my eyes and waited for her to return or to hear where she was. I would sit here forever and wait, and hope somehow she could forgive me.

I must have dozed off during the daylight. It was dark now in the entire house, but I wasn’t sure how late it was. There was banging at the front door, or I thought it was—maybe it was my head from being so hung over and then taking pills to relax my body’s pain. The thumping stopped, but then seconds later the door bell chimed again and again…maybe it was Madison. I jumped up and banged into the table, “Shit!” that hurt, but I moved around it to not clip my leg again and went to get the door. I turned on some lights in the process and when I opened the door, Maxwell stood and began grabbing me and pulling me outside.

“Boy you messed up bad this time. I don’t want to know what happened last night with Meila, but if you come now you can make it just in time.”

“What, make what in time? I want to wait here and hope Madison comes back to me, so I can beg her to take me back.”

“Rand she is not coming back here…” Maxwell said sternly.

“What? You mean never?” I couldn’t walk any further with him even though I saw that his car was still running and the door was wide open.

“Madison is in labor, she isn’t coming back here tonight. Now let’s get going!” Maxwell yelled at me still tugging my shirt to get me moving. “Jillian threw some of her things together quickly to get her out of the house and to the hospital because all at once the contractions increased. Although neither of them have had children, it became apparent that this wasn’t a false alarm. The babies are early, but they are coming.”

“What? She’s in labor???” I stammered out hesitantly.

“Yes, and she needs her husband there with her,” he gently pushed down on the top of my head as I climbed in the car, and he slammed the door. After crashing into the table, I was glad for the help. My head was spinning and I couldn’t be counted on to pay attention enough that I wouldn’t crack my head getting into the car.

“You mean she wants to see me?” I questioned.

“Of course she wants to see you. She wants you there for the moment your twins come into this world. We have been trying to call you but you tossed your cell phone on the highway, and then you must not have hung up the house phone because it was busy every time one of us called.”

“What do you mean? Who called?” I was still shocked.

“All of us, everyone is at the hospital and all of us had to shut off our cell phones. After we dropped you off we found out a few hours later from Grace that Madison was admitted and resting but it wouldn’t be long.”

I leaned back and sucked in all of the fresh air that my lungs could hold. I felt my blood flowing through my veins. Somehow, someway I was going to make this work with Madison and the babies. I was going to fight the toughest battle, but I would prove to her I would never screw up again as long as I lived. All I wanted was for her to be safe and our children to come into this world healthy. I prayed in silence, swearing that I would try so hard. I begged for forgiveness. Maxwell drove like a crazy man, and I thought that I almost had a better chance of being forgiven than I did getting to the hospital unharmed.

Once we found the floor that she was on, I saw everyone and they each told me I looked awful. I didn’t need to hear it, I already felt that way. As I was heading to the door to get to Madison a hand reached out and stopped me. Kent pulled me aside. “Kent, let me go to her.”

I tried to step aside. Kent stood right up in my face and said, “Meila kept calling, she called all of us…” He looked pissed.

“What the fuck, can’t she just let last night go? Hasn’t she done enough already.” I was still trying to move around him. “Kent move, I need to get to my wife, if she will have me.”

“Rand, that’s the point, Meila can’t just let this go. She has been trying to reach you, and then she called all of us until we finally answered her battery of messages and took one of her calls. The point is, she thinks you really thought that something happened last night between you and her. She fessed up that she gave you something in one of the shots that you drank. She said she really tried to take advantage of you, but you were too strong willed and would not give in. She said she could not break you that you loved Madison that much. She wanted to say she was sorry and that nothing ever happened.” Kent had a grip on my arms and shook me lightly, “Did you hear me just say that nothing happened?”

“You mean I did not cheat on my wife? Then why would she tell me she talked to Madison?” I had to know the answer.

“Meila said she answered the phone when Madison called to say she wasn’t coming. Meila assured her that you were resting, and she would check in on you in the morning and let you know Madison called. Meila only twisted it just to try to get you to want to be with her. She figured it was her last shot.”

“Wow that is totally fucked up!” I shook my head.

“Meila was relentless in trying to get you, I’ll give Meila credit, she tried hard for you man,” and Kent released his hold on my arms. “Go to your wife, she needs you, forget all about all this crap that never happened.”

I didn’t waste a moment. I opened the door and was at her side. I grabbed her hand and wept. Madison said, “Why are you crying, I am the one in pain?”

“Love I am so sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I thought you left…me.”

“Rand, why would I ever leave you? I just couldn’t talk to you on the phone anymore as I tried to leave you a message and then the contractions came on so fast and painful. I had to go and get someone to get me here quickly.”

“Madison I love you so much!”

“Babe, I know that, and I hope you remember that when I holler out at you during my delivery. These contractions hurt so bad. But Babe, you look beat, and like you’re the one that’s having the babies.” I just ran my hands through my hair. If only she knew what I thought happened in the past hours. “Oh, I wanted to tell you that I’m so thankful that Meila got you to your room last night. She was really sweet to me and told me she left you soundly sleeping. I hope you got to get a bit of rest because once I push out these babies there will be no rest for either of us.” Madison continued to say until another contraction ripped through her, I grabbed onto her hand and, I rested my head next to her hip on the bed. I held her hand with each painful contraction that rocked through her. I was here for her and never going anyplace else. When she couldn’t bear the pain anymore she finally agreed to an epidural. Madison for some reason was trying to be so strong and not take any medication. Although I tried to sway her decision to get the pain meds, I think it really was the last few very painful contractions she felt that changed her mind. It wasn’t long after the epidural that the doctor said, “It’s time, let’s get you to delivery and get these babies out.”

Madison begged me to come with her. I agreed as I wasn’t ever leaving her. The hospital staff quickly dressed me in a blue gown. Then they placed a mask over my mouth and even made me put booties on over my leather boots. Madison looked at me and said my outfit went nicely with my amazing blue eyes before she let out a blood curdling scream. With that the doctor told her to push and baby one was on his way out. Yes, the first born was announced as a boy. My son was born. I stayed focused on Madison, and she clung to my hand and squeezed so hard. I don’t remember the announcement of my daughter. What happened? Everything got so dark, really dark, and I fell to the floor. When I came to, I was told that yes, my daughter had been born seconds later. But that during that moment the staff had to also pause to pick me up after I crashed to the floor. I was rubbing my head and felt the lump that apparently my temple developed when it connected with the tile.

I told them I guess I was just overcome with all the emotion, and I knew I was so worn down from the last twenty-four hours, but that they need not worry about me. I was fine. I wanted to get to my wife and see our children. Madison filled me in on the babies’ condition. They were fine and they would be brought to us shortly. Both were small, but still a healthy weight causing no concern. She told me her first reaction was to count his fingers and toes, but then her next concern was me. Since I was on the floor, she didn’t have anything to hold onto while delivering our daughter. She said with one screaming push she gave it everything she could and then was reaching to me. Grace stepped in thankfully and held onto Madison as the staff lifted me and took me to another room to bandage the slight cut I had on my head from the fall. The staff did return to tell Madison that I appeared okay that is isn’t unusual. I wasn’t the first husband to faint during delivery.

Later, I climbed up next to her. She was so exhausted, and could barely keep her eyes open. I was well past that, but knew I had to be here for her. I laid my head next to hers and we rested in one another’s arms until our breathing leveled out and calmed. The first thing I needed to do as soon as I left this hospital was to get a new phone. I needed to be in touch with my family at all times. I couldn’t believe I threw a five hundred dollar phone across the highway.

Chapter Ten – Mask of Rade