My Addiction: Second Chances Series (16 page)

“Everyone needs a second chance! If she’s begging you for one give it to her.
You never know when you’ll need one from her.” – Unknown Author

Getting out of the shower freshly shaved, skin red from the heat of the water, I walked into the room and went right for the bar. When I left my brother’s, I went to Ice’s for a few drinks. I needed something to help calm me down.

I wanted to punch my brother in his mouth. I wanted to know what in the hell possessed him to contact Nora. I told him repeatedly that Nora and I were through. As always, he felt as though it was his job to get into my business.

I ran my hands through my wet hair, poured a glass of Scotch, and quickly threw it back. The room was starting to spin, but I didn’t give a shit. I needed something to take my mind off this fucked up situation.

When I left Ayana’s the other night, I just drove around the city thinking about the last time I was wrapped up with her shit. When her mom died suddenly from a routine procedure, I was in medical school in California. I knew it hit her hard, but there wasn’t anything I could do for her. I was miles away, and I couldn’t get to her due to the multiple exams I had coming up.

She ended up hooked on pain meds during that time or, more than likely, it was a little bit before that. She got hurt playing basketball and was already on Oxycodone for that injury. The problem was she kept using it well after she needed to. She then started using it to deal with the pain and agony of losing her mom so suddenly. She lost her rock and she didn’t know how to handle it. By the time I got home, I had to detox her, but not before she overdosed on the shit. I had to stabilize her while I waited for the ambulance to come. It took me a long time to get her back but I did. Getting her clean was hell but as I said, I did it. She told me she mistakenly took some of her mom’s pills thinking it was hers. but I wasn’t buying it. I told her to get clean and stay that way or I’d never see or speak to her again.

Things were good for a while. She stayed clean. We worked on getting her through the loss of her mom and the fact that her brother was nowhere to be found to help her with arrangements. She needed him to be there for her like the countless times she was there for him.

The moment her brother showed up, though, he brought drama as always and as always Ayana felt like it was her job to help him. I told her no. She didn’t need to bail his ass out of trouble all the time, but she didn’t listen. She did all kinds of things to protect him from the police and even their mom. Anything she could do to keep his ungrateful ass out of jail, she did it. And even then, when he was MIA when she needed him the most, she still felt compelled to help him, saying he was the only family she had left. I tried not to let that get to me. I mean, what was I? Chopped liver?

But I didn’t bring that up. Instead, I tried to support her. I told her that I was there for her if she needed me and I would do whatever I needed. What I didn’t expect was how far she would go to save her brother. Apparently, her brother stashed a huge amount of drugs in their mother’s house and some people broke in to get it while Ayana was home. Well, she decided she wasn’t going to tell them shit and they shot her twice for it. They ransacked the house as she bled out. The only reason why they didn’t kill her, I think, was because they heard me coming. The only reason she’s living right now is because I had a feeling something wasn’t right because she wasn’t answering her phone.

What pissed both my brother and me off was her lack of cooperation. She wouldn’t tell Lock that she knew who the guys were and what they were looking for until after she told her brother. Her brother and his crew got the people involved but that was it. The only justice she got was the fact that her brother and his crew were forever indebted to her.

I was done. My patience was gone. She put her life in jeopardy too many times for her brother and I just had enough. When I left to return to school, we broke up. I told my brother she just decided not to go to California with me. I didn’t tell him what she did to help her brother and his crew.

It was devastating to say the least, and it nearly destroyed me, but I almost lost her twice to some bullshit and she couldn’t see how that was a problem for me. If she did, she didn’t put up much of a fight to keep me. I couldn’t just sit around and create a life with her only for the shit to go up in smoke over her brother or anything else. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t get involved with her again and here I was doing exactly that. I don’t know if this latest shit has to do with her brother, but I knew our last break up was hard on her as much as it was on me. So, I had to believe her when she said it had nothing to do with Terrence. I needed to believe her when she said she wasn’t mixed up with drugs again. I needed to believe this was what she wanted. And most importantly, I needed to walk away if she was lying.

One time I asked Ayana why she felt the need to use drugs for her pain. I asked what did she feel when she took them. She tried to explain to me what it felt like, how the drugs coursed through her body. She confessed that it felt like little feathers caressing her nerve endings, making her feel like she was floating on air. It made her forget everything; nothing mattered but the glorious feeling coursing through her. She told me that the problem is when the high is over. The need for it again takes over and all she thought about was that feeling. She wanted it, she craved for that sensation she got the first time she tried it. That’s what she was doing, chasing that high.

I never wanted to admit this, but for the longest time I actually did know what it felt like to be addicted, to crave something that you knew wasn’t good for you. You knew this thing would destroy you but at the same time, it had this hold over you so strong that you’re helpless when you saw it.

I threw the rest of my drink down and looked for my phone.

I called my addiction.

She answered on the forth ring.

“Hey you,” she answered softly.

“Where are you?” I asked her.

“I’m at Ice’s. Where are you?”

“8452 Dallas Parkway, Plano,” I said. She got quiet on the phone, but I knew she was still there. I felt her. I took a deep breath. “I need you.”

That was it, three little words said with a profound meaning that I knew only she would understand.

She remained quiet for a minute, then said gently, “Okay, I’ll be there.”

See? That’s what I mean. I didn’t have to tell her what I needed. I didn’t have to convince her, try any word games or tricks, or explain to her why. All I needed to do was tell her.

“A key will be downstairs at the front desk for you.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

I don’t know how long it took her to get to me; I was literally in a daze as my mind wandered to what I wanted to do to her the moment I touched her. The radio was playing, but I hadn’t a clue what station was on—it was all making me even more anxious. I can’t really explain what I was feeling. I felt this sensation come over me suddenly. This feeling threatened to devour me, to take over my body. I was starting to shake, my hands literally started to shake and my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest.

Shit… What the hell?

Suddenly some shit happened that I swear needed to be scripted. First Lifehouse’s song
Broken
started to play on the radio and that’s when I heard a key fit into my room door. I turned from the window I was looking out of to find Ayana coming through my door.

God. just seeing her made my heart rate increase. My hands shook more and as I licked my lips, the need…no, the burning fucking desire to taste her, came over me. The words to the song were added fuel and I was becoming out of control.

I didn’t waste time. I dropped the glass out of my hand, unsure if it was filled or not or where it landed, and I moved to her.

The room seemed too big and I couldn’t get to her fast enough. I needed this; I needed her so desperately that I was beginning to feel like I was suffocating.

“Fuck, Ana!” I pleaded, voice hoarse and gritty.

My hands got to her first as I placed them on the sides of her face. Then my lips instantly went to hers, and the second her taste hit my tongue, I exploded from the inside out.

God, I needed this.

I kissed her, chasing the feeling of the first time I ever tasted her. I kissed her deep, bringing her body as close to mine as I could. I started to remove her shirt and she helped me, bringing her arms up and taking her shirt off the rest of the way. I went to the front of her bra and released her, licking my lips at the promise they held for me.

Ayana moved to unzip her jeans, and as I walked her back to the bed, I was already trying to pull them down.

I got them down just as she fell back on the bed and I threw them behind me. I removed my t-shirt, dropped my shorts, and climbed on top of her. She spread her legs for me and wrapped them around my waist.

I finally paused, but only for a second. Looking deep in her creamy, chocolate eyes, I said to her, “What have you done to me?”

Ayana brought her hands to my face and caressed me before her hands went into my hair and gripped me. She admitted to me, voice soft but full of desire and want. “I haven’t done anything that you haven’t done to me.”

I tried my best not to hurt her, but I needed to feel her. I needed to be inside her and the moment I entered her, we both groaned from the sensation that our bodies felt from our union.

She was made for me, and damn it I was made for her. I love her and as I moved my hips, grinding her hard and determined, I told her how much I loved her.

I brought her legs over my shoulders. I picked up my pace and began to drive us both insane. She brought my face down to her and assured me, “Everything’s going to be fine, baby. Take what you need from me, Bradley. Take what you need.”

The love from her eyes humbled me and sobered me slightly. I buried my face between her neck and I did what she told me to do; I took what I needed from her.

When I felt her move moments later, I brought her body close to me. “Wait. Don’t go just yet,” I told her, voice groggy from sleep.

She turned her body and faced me. “Okay.”

We lay on our sides and stared at each other as I caressed her face and ran my hands through her hair. She caressed my chest, making my dick hard as a rock just from her touch.

Ana pushed me back gently and climbed on top of me, not before she lifted her sweet ass and made my cock disappear in her pussy nice and slow. I moaned my satisfaction at feeling the best sensation I have ever felt in my life.

She moved up and down, slowly grinding her hips as she came down my shaft. I gripped her hips tight, wanting her to go faster, but not wanting this feeling to end. I knew she was going to have to leave me, but I didn’t want to let her go. I felt like the moment she left my hotel room, I would never see her again. I sat up and we were eye-to-eye, meeting each other stroke for stroke.

I didn’t move my eyes from hers and she didn’t move her eyes from mine.

I watched her for the fourth time tonight explode with pure ecstasy and it floored me how much she gave herself to me willingly, without question.

“Oh, yes, Bradley! Mmmm,” she purred in one of the sexiest voice that I’ve heard her use.

“Yesss, baby… Oh fuck.” I moved faster, pumping into her harder, watching her bounce on my lap.

I moved her up and off of me. “Turn around,” I said to her.

She moved quickly and as I moved to my knees, she got on her hands and knees and I sated myself in her thirsty walls. She started moving back on me, popping her ass for me and I lost my damn mind.

“Fuck yes, baby. Just like that. I love your fucking ass, baby. Do you hear me?” I said to her, smacking her ass, “Shit, come on, baby. Harder. Faster,”

She started moving faster on me, putting her ass in the air and planting her face on the bed. I didn’t want her far from me, so I pulled her back against me, reached in front and began playing with her clit.

“Shit, Bradley.” She clutched the back of my neck tight. “Oh, baby, I’m coming. Ohhhh!”

“Uh-huh, baby. Give me this pussy, baby. Just the way I fucking love it.”

I wanted more.

I pushed her down on her stomach and I bent her right leg, giving me complete access to her g-spot and I ripped into her so thoroughly she laid there for another forty-five minutes before I felt her kiss me on my lips and whisper she loved me.

“I’ll see you back here in less than twenty-four hours,” I told her.

“Less than twenty-four hours,” she replied to me.

Again, the feeling that I would never see her again fell in my mind. I tried to ignore it, but it was burning, filling my mind with doubt. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I saw it was three in the morning, but I didn’t care. I texted my brother, “No matter what’s going on, the moment you find out what she’s up to, you tell me.”

I didn’t have to wait very long for his reply. He just said simply
,
“Okay.”

So when her deadline came and went, I just sighed deeply and came to the conclusion that this shit wasn’t going to happen for me. I wasn’t angry at all. In fact, I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the disappointment. Something told me she wasn’t going to show. I don’t know why she didn’t and quite frankly, I didn’t give a shit. Bottom line, she wasn’t there. It was 7:00 in the evening, exactly forty-eight hours from her asking me to give her a chance, and she was not there.