My Bittersweet Summer (15 page)

“Is that…” I paused, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

He shoved the phone back in his pocket. “You think I call everyone a superhero?”

“Do you think I don’t want to deck you every time you call me Mouse in any form?”

“Oh.”

I dropped my hand, gaping at him. “Oh? Like you had no idea why that might possibly trip my rage trigger? Not at all?”

He scratched his chin. “Yeah, I didn’t really think about that. Sorry.”

I got up and walked to the edge of the gazebo closest to the beach side, looking out over the water. “I don’t understand you. How could you possibly be that dense? I’ve flat out told you I’ve spent six years trying to undo everything you guys did to me, and it’s like you purposely undermine any good you manage to do.”

At his touch on my elbow, I had to force my fists to unclench so I didn’t slug him. “Margie, I swear I won’t call you that ever again. I wasn’t thinking. I’m really sorry.”

“Like you’re sorry you kissed me without asking first?”

“Nope. Not sorry about that.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d been wanting to do that for days.”

“You barely know me. Maybe you go around making out with anyone that strikes your fancy, but that’s not me, Zach.”

“I don’t, and I know you don’t. But I know more about you than you think.”

Crossing my arms, I turned to him. “Oh, really? Then please, tell me what you think you know.”

“I know you’re hard-working, dedicated to your family, and go out of your way to help people. I know you’re kind, and smart, and incredibly patient when you’re teaching people things. I know you make the most amazing cookies I’ve ever had, and that you don’t know how to react when someone gives you a compliment. I know you’re independent, but understand that everyone needs help sometimes so teamwork is important. I know that I caused you more pain than I might ever fully understand, but…”

He took my hand, unwinding my arms and pulling me closer to him. Whatever cologne he was wearing was incredible.

“I want to be sure you know how horrible I feel for putting you through hell, Margie. The last few months, I’ve thought about you a lot. We never let up on you, not once in all those years. And since you’ve been here, not a day has gone by that I haven’t wished I could take back even as little as one unkind word. You’re not the girl I knew then, but she’s still in there, if only a tiny bit. She’s the one I’m working so hard to be better for, because I couldn’t then.”

Never in all my life had I ever met a person I could be so angry with one second, and ready to spill my secrets to the next. Zach had a way of pushing every button I had, and could then find the switch to reset them.

“Margie?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you for real this time?”

I set my free hand against his cheek and smiled.

“No.”

It was kind of funny to watch him get so confused.

“No? Why not?”

I pulled away from him and returned to my seat. The food was getting cold. Zach sat back down across from me, still completely puzzled and waiting for his answer.

Scooping up a forkful of tamale, I shrugged. “Because I’m not sure I like
you
yet.”

The trunk closed on the remnants of our picnic, and I wondered if that meant the date was over. An unexpected pang of disappointment crept over me. After the initial bumpy start, the rest of the evening wasn’t actually all that bad.

We got off of heavy topics and turned to the lighter fare of hobbies and favorite movies instead. Zach had a tiny obsession with science fiction and fantasy movies from the 70s and 80s, and a strange love for old cartoons, of which Mighty Mouse was but one. He insisted he was going to lend me his bootleg copy of the Felix the Cat movie, but I wasn’t sure if I should be excited or dreading that. I was more interested in watching the movie he mentioned with Sandra Bullock in it, but I didn’t mention it in case he’d invite me to the private theater in his house for a showing. By the end of dinner I wasn’t completely averse to spending more time with him, but I didn’t trust him nearly enough to be alone in a dark room with him.

Zach set his hand on the trunk and thought for a moment. “Sun’s not down yet, want to go to the beach?”

Looking back over my shoulder, the sun was only starting to dip below the horizon, the colors of sunset gradually spilling across the sky. It would’ve been a perfect backdrop to a romantic date, but that wasn’t what I was interested in. That was dangerous for me.

“I dunno…”

“We don’t have to go far if you don’t want to. I’m just not ready to call it a night. It’s not that hot yet, so it’ll cool off fast once the sun goes down anyway.”

I inhaled, thinking, then made my decision. “All right. Just for a little while.”

Straightening, he led me back toward the path up the hill, his hand lightly brushing my back as we started out. It might’ve been the breeze, but a burst of goosebumps down my arms made me all kinds of self-conscious about whether or not he could see them.

The concrete split in two directions, one leading back up to the gazebo, the other drifting around the hill and down the other side to the beach. The occasional call of seagulls broke up the silence in between waves hitting the shore, but the quiet between us wasn’t uncomfortable. It was possible he was working as hard as I was to fully digest everything we’d talked about so far. Reconciling the Zach I thought I knew with the Zach I was getting to know wasn’t exactly easy. I wondered if his friends knew about his Peace Corps ambition. I assumed not, since that would definitely go against the manly image of irresponsibility he put up for them. Even after everything, I still doubted the truth behind that confession. I couldn’t imagine that beneath his spoiled rotten exterior lurked the heart of a philanthropist. Zach was two different people, and I didn’t want to place a bet on which one was real and which was the fake.

When we hit the end of the pavement, I stopped and took off my sandals. Sand trapped between the soles of shoes and feet was super annoying and could get painful pretty quickly. We walked down to the wet sand the low tide revealed, our pace leisurely to enjoy what was left of the day.

“You know, I gotta ask,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I stepped over a sand crab. “Ask what?”

Another crustacean skittered out of the way. “What are my chances now? Any improvement?”

Shrugging, I looked out over the water. “Maybe.”

With the same gentleness as before, he wound his fingers between mine. “Will you ballpark it for me?”

I bit my lip and glanced at our joined hands. Part of me was convinced that giving him an honest answer would definitely come back to bite me in the butt, but it seemed really important to him. “I dunno. Maybe… Fifty-fifty, I guess.”

His grip tightened a little, and he used it to tug me closer, bumping his shoulder against mine. “Thank you.”

Cheeks red as apples, I couldn’t look at him. “Uh, you’re welcome, but I didn’t really do anything.”

“It’s okay to admit I might not be so bad after all,” he leaned in and whispered. “And also okay to let yourself be appreciated.”

I swallowed. “I really didn’t do anything, though.”

Zach stopped in front of me. “You gave me a chance, Margie, even when I didn’t deserve one. I’m not sure a lesser person would’ve.”

I just knew I was going to burst into flames if he kept staring at me that way and feeding me kind words. I couldn’t work myself up to be defensive under his gaze. He really did have nice eyes. Even as he inched closer, the most I could do was stare at him, searching for any hint of the terrible boy I used to know.

The fingers of his free hand lightly lifted my chin, turning my face up to him. “I was such a stupid kid. Arrogant, privileged, mean… That’s not who I want to be anymore, Margie. I want to be the kind of person who gives other people second chances, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. Seeing you, really seeing you, I’m floored that you’d let me get this close. Why would you do that for me?”

“I…” Lord. My brain refused to work. Why the hell were my thoughts so fuzzy? All I could see were his eyes, his lips. His words drifted over me like the warm orange glow of the sun setting behind me, like a fire that didn’t burn. “You make it pretty impossible to say no.”

“In that case…” As he smiled, he eased in closer, tilting his head slightly to the side. “Would it be okay if I—”

“Robinson?”

Like a cold, hard slap to the face, I woke from whatever trance I’d been in at the sound of Matt’s voice. I jumped, skittering back two feet towards the water before I realized there was nowhere to hide.

Terrified, I stood there, mostly hidden from view behind Zach’s body as he faced his friend.

“Uh, hey, Matt. What’re you doing here?”

The sound of shuffling through sand stopped. “What am
I
doing here? What are
you
doing here? The bonfire’s tonight. I thought you said you had to work.”

“The bonfire?”

“Yeah, dumbass. For Avery’s birthday? Ringing any bells? What are you doing here, anyway? Who are you hiding back there?” The top of Matt’s head peeked over Zach’s shoulder, and I ducked, trying to stay out of sight, but not quick enough to do it. “Holy crap! Is that who I think it is?”

I cringed and silently prayed I didn’t get sick right there on the sand.

To my horror, Zach turned, flashing me an apologetic smile before setting a hand on my back and urging me forward.

“Matt, you remember Margie, right?”

Matt’s face burned crimson, but that could’ve been anger, or the light of the sunset tinting his skin. There was no mistaking the pissed off twitch of the vein in his forehead, though. “Of course I remember her,” he said through clenched teeth.

Reflexively, I went to step back, but Zach’s hand firmly stopped me. “We were taking a walk. Sorry about the party. I totally spaced. Think Avery would mind if I brought a plus one?”

My head whipped towards him, stunned he’d suggest such a thing, and not only because of what Destiny told me about the rich boys that went slumming. Did he actually expect me to be okay with hanging out with these guys at a party where there’d be a guarantee of alcohol involved? Granted, we still didn’t know each other all that well, but I’d thought he’d have at least a little common sense.

Matt ground his teeth, and I was sure his only thoughts were of how he could get back at me for the embarrassment I’d caused him. “I don’t think Avery would mind at all.”

“Great, let’s go then,” Zach said.

When Matt turned and walked back up the beach, headed for a fire with at least twenty people around it, I tugged on Zach’s sleeve, stopping him. “Are you crazy? I don’t want to be anywhere near those guys when they’re drinking. And who knows what Matt’s gonna do to me for—”

“It’ll be fine, Mighty Mouse,” he said, pushing me in the direction of the bonfire. “Sorry I forgot they’d be here, but we should go for a little while at least. And Avery’s not so bad. Come on, it’s his birthday.”

“Why don’t you just take me home and come back later? I don’t want—”

“It’ll be fine. Relax.”

No way was that gonna happen, but I let him lead me to the party anyway. Everything about the situation was telling me to run the other way, but one little thing insisted it would be all right.

I had to trust Zach.

That it even occurred to me I should almost stopped me in my tracks from the sheer shock of it. When had my brain shifted from absolute loathing to trusting him to keep me safe deep in enemy territory?

When I started walking under my own power, Zach fell in step beside me. His face was absolutely unreadable, which I didn’t know if I should take as a good sign or a bad omen. I frowned, realizing that the situation was going to be what it was, and how it went was entirely up to him from that point on.

It was enough to make my insides churn. Zach had lots of pretty words, but they weren’t going to mean much if he let me down when it was important.

“Look who I found,” Matt announced as we reached the edges of the party. He grabbed Zach and dragged him around to the far side lined with coolers and a portable speaker pounding out some gross misogynistic pop song with a catchy backbeat. I followed at a close distance, keeping a definite buffer zone between me and Matt.

“Zach, my brother!” Avery popped up from his perch beside a vapid-looking bottle blonde. “Thought you were workin’ for the man tonight.”

“Last minute shift change,” Zach said, greeting the birthday boy with a backslapping hug. “Happy birthday, bro.”

Avery Daniels, his curly brown hair bunched into a surfer dude ponytail, flicked Zach’s collar. “Why you all fancy, man? You get ditched by a hot date or something?”

“He brought you a present, Avery,” Matt said, snickering as he snuck up behind me. I nearly jumped a mile when he spoke, instantly drawing Avery’s attention. “You remember Margie Mouse, right?”

My hands retracted into fists, but I beat back the urge to put one through his teeth. Probably sensing I was about to snap, Zach gently touched my shoulder and eased me up closer to him and Avery.

“Whoa,” Avery whistled through his teeth, his eyes drifting up and down my body so long I wanted to punch him, too. “Lance wasn’t exaggerating when he said—”

“Touch me, and you’ll lose fingers,” I growled at him, interrupting whatever disgusting thing he was going to repeat.

“Mrowr! Kitten’s got claws!” Avery laughed, winking at Zach.

Matt chuckled. “Funny that she didn’t seem to have a problem with Robinson’s fingers a minute ago.”

I whirled, ready to claw Matt’s eyes straight out of his skull, but Zach’s hands wrapping around my upper arms kept me firmly in place.

“Knock it off, guys,” he says. “Margie and I were just hanging out. Back it down. You wind her up enough, and I’m not gonna be able to control her.”

Control me? What the hell? Icy hot rage simmered in my belly, the stark suspicion that Zach hadn’t changed much at all tearing away at the good I was beginning to see in him.