My Demon (10 page)

“Anyhow, because of Clive, I had the worst argument on record with my Mum. I said some pretty horrible things.”

“What’d you say to her?”

“She ended up slapping me, and I asked if she had a client to fuck on the phone or something,” Alex replied. Her face heated up as a blush covered her cheeks.

“You what?” Becky burst out laughing. “Bloody hell, that’s a pretty terrible thing to say. Why on earth did you say that?” Becky let go of Alex’s hand, and scraped the last of her ice cream out.

Alex leaned in conspiratorially. “I caught her on the phone saying some really disgusting things to this random guy. I’m pretty sure that she’s got a new job as a telephone hooker.” A giggle threatened to rise to the surface, and Alex gently bit her lip to stop it coming out.

“So what about this Clive dude. When’d he show up?” Becky asked.

“Um, a few days ago? I don’t remember how long, seems like forever. He showed up in the back of Jeremy’s minibus when we were getting stoned the other night. I thought he was a hallucination, but he was there again the next morning. He’s messing around with my life. I’m talking to him, arguing with him, in my room, on the street… People are noticing, and I can’t seem to do anything to stop.” Alex’s face crumpled, and without warning an uncontrollable flow of tears started to fall.

“Here.” Becky passed over a paper napkin. “Is he here? Now?” Becky whispered, and glanced around the little cafe.

“No,” Alex replied then blew her nose. “He’s gone wherever he goes when he’s not with me.”

Becky debated Alex’s words. “So, where’s that?”

“How would I know? Somewhere else. Not with me. I wish he’d stay there.” Alex wiped at the tears with a fresh napkin. “What do I do, Bec? Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Well I guess it’s not considered normal to see demons in red cat suits no one else can. But at least to me, you don’t act cuckoo.” She circled a finger near her temple to accentuate the point. “Is the cat suit really tight?” Becky grinned.

Alex dabbed her eyes, and forced a smile. “Very tight. Too tight. Sometimes I have to look anywhere else because
it
stands out, if you get what I mean.” Alex reddened with her admission.

“You have to go to your doctor,” Becky said. “They’ll have medicines. You know, make you better.”

“Do you think Clive would disappear? What do you think I have? What makes hallucinations? You read loads of stuff. What do you think?”

Becky pulled at her ponytail while she thought. “Definitely depression. Just need to look at your face to figure that out. When you laugh, the happiness doesn’t get to your eyes. Know what I mean?”

Alex nodded, and struggled to swallow down another batch of tears.

“As for the hallucination, I’ve no idea. You need a doctor for that one. Not a best friend.”

Alex pushed her tub of melted ice cream away. “Can you walk me to the bus stop, Bec? I should go home and make peace with my mother.” Alex turned her face heavenwards. This was something she didn’t want to do.

A
lex opened her front door a crack, and listened for noise. All was quiet, and she recalled Becky’s parting advice. “Be cool, be calm, and tell her about Clive.” Easier said than done, Alex thought. She tiptoed into the hall, and closed the door with a soft click. No sounds came from upstairs, and no soap chatter from the television. The house seemed empty. Alex poked her head in the living room, no one there either. She walked through to the kitchen. A fresh tablecloth covered the little table and all the counters sparkled. The smell of bleach was strong, lemon tinted.

“Huh.” Alex climbed the stairs, listening for sounds each time a stair creaked. At the top, she stopped outside her mother’s door. She took a deep breath and knocked. Alex waited, nervous, a slight sweat on her palms. She shifted from one foot to the other, and debated knocking again.

She’d felt like this before. At thirteen years of age, and between classes, Alex had slapped Jenny Brown across the face. A teacher witnessed the attack and sent Alex straight to the headmaster’s office. She’d refused to apologize, and received a week’s worth of afterschool detentions. In her own defense, the fight hadn’t been all her fault. Jenny had been spreading rumors about her Mum being a drunk. This may have been true, and most everyone already knew, but that hadn’t been the point. Now she was standing by the headmaster’s office all over again, waiting to be let in.

Alex knocked a second time, a bit louder. Still no response. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and peeked in. Lily wasn’t there.

“Shit.” Alex had prepared for an apologetic showdown with her mother. Somehow, with this denied, she felt a little let down. Now she’d need to wait for Lily to come home, and psych herself up all over again for their talk.

Alex hung her head, and crossed the hall to her own bedroom. She kicked her shoes into a corner. Books still lay as they’d fallen on her floor, spines cracking, pages bent. She pushed the puzzle box off the end of the bed, presumably where Clive placed it. The box landed with a thud.

Darkness was creeping into her mind, images of Clive, money, and Becky smiling—so sweetly. How much would she hate Alex, if she knew the truth? An image of Lily appeared, held her hand out, the skin on her palm red from the slap, her expression questioning. Alex crawled under her duvet and curled up into a little ball. Her face flushed, tears close. Alex squeezed her eyes tight and gulped at the stale air beneath her covers. She would stay in control. No more crying, she thought as she grabbed at the duvet, pulling it closer. Rain fell on the demon as he floated back before her internal eye. Salty rain, still warm, splattered on his costume. He spun in slow circles, arms held out, another manic grin pasted on his gorgeous face.

He wasn’t real. Couldn’t be.

Becky was right; she should visit her doctor. She needed medicine. A pink pill a day keeps the demons away. She giggled despite the weights clamping down around her brain.

A numb sensation swam over her skin, starting with her toes then flowed along her legs and up her torso. Her arms succumbed next, until her very fingertips became heavy … dead. The loss of feeling continued up her neck and filled her brain. She lay still under her covers, eyes wide and unblinking as the light from her window stopped the darkness from becoming complete, even with the duvet over her head. She needed something to help her forget. Alex emerged briefly from the covers and put some somber music on her stereo.

Thoughts teased her, kept her lucid and awake. She rolled about, face and pillowslip damp. She needed help.

Alex crept into her mother’s room, and searched the bedside cabinet. On a shelf, under a few magazines, she found a container of prescription sleeping pills lying on its side. She popped the top off to find the bottle almost full. Despite Lily’s alcoholism, she was adamant about not mixing her drugs. She was too afraid of not waking up. And since she rarely took to her bed sober, Lily apparently had few opportunities to take the medicine.

Alex read the text, “One pill to be taken before sleeping.” She shook out two. She really wanted to sleep. Alex swallowed them dry and returned to her room. She had time to throw the duvet back over her head, and curl up into a ball before the fuzz closed in. Her last thought, as consciousness left, was whether she should only have taken one.

Awareness was slow in coming back to Alex. She lay huddled under her covers, not entirely convinced her eyes were open, everything was so dark. Judging by the complete silence in the house, she must have slept through most of the night. Good. Her mother should be asleep. Alex had no desire to speak with Lily anymore. What would she say? Sorry didn’t seem to be enough. Maybe she could avoid her for a few days. Alex stretched out on the mattress, her body stiff and dopey from the sleeping tablets, then rolled over and stared at the clock. The dial read nearly six in the morning. She guessed she’d been asleep for around fifteen hours. That was a long time to be checked out.

Alex glanced about the room for Clive. Happy to find herself alone, she swung her legs out of bed and tried to get them moving. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth and her bladder screamed for relief. Alex staggered down the hall to the bathroom to empty and fill her body by request.

A few minutes later, Alex flushed the toilet before turning on the tap. She bent over, and put her hand to the flow of cold water. She drank, listening out for her mother and smelling the air for any preceding scent the demon might use. Thirst quenched, Alex slunk up to Lily’s door. The coarse snores of a drunk came from the room. Good.

Alex made her way downstairs, her legs still a bit wobbly, and flopped on the sofa. She switched on the telly and searched the channels. Cartoons for early risers, News or Open University were the presented choices. Ugh.

Alex watched a few minutes of Physics for dummies. She must be thicker than the expected audience, she thought, and flipped the channel. Anyway, stuffed aliens were far more entertaining.

Alex slouched down and snuggled in among the cushions. A soft tinkling noise caught her attention from beside the television. She shifted her gaze and waited for Clive to appear.

“You stupid little girl!” Clive crashed into her dimension spitting mad, his face bright red. The air around him heated up, sizzling away from his body. She felt it, like being near a bonfire.

Alex tried to focus on him. He couldn’t keep his form stable, and her familiar sexy demon in the red cat suit kept shifting into a thing she couldn’t quite make out. As she stared, Alex decided this was the scary costume, and she definitely did not want to see it.

“Stupid bitch!” He stormed past the telly. “How could you tell her?”

Perhaps the after effects of the sleeping tablets were still with her, because she suddenly found the whole situation funny. She stifled a grin, and then a laugh. Clive paced back and forth. Did demon blood boil, if one got angry enough? Did demons have blood? The last thought was too much, and laughter fell from her mouth in uncontrolled waves.

Clive marched across the room to her. “You want to understand the situation properly, you pathetic little human child?” He towered above her. “You know how I see you? The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. Do you understand? I’m not the minion, you are! And now you’ve ruined everything by telling your idiotic friend. They’re going to pump you full of drugs and I will fade into nothingness!”

Clive shouted so loudly, his voice resonated in Alex’s head. Even though she realized Clive lived only in her imagination, she wondered why her drunken mother hadn’t fallen out of bed in surprise.

“Explain to me why I shouldn’t be glad if you faded into nothingness,” Alex said. So what if he was angry, stood over her, his face purple with fury, his fists balled up, arms bulging with muscles. He wasn’t real. He couldn’t do anything to her.

“Because, you simpleton, there are
things
you don’t understand. History needs to happen in a certain way, and without my help necessary events
will
go badly,” Clive said. He seemed so authentic. How could he be a hallucination?

“What the hell are you talking about? You haven’t exactly helped me keep you a secret with your teasing and your torment.” Alex shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe if you explained more to me, I’d be able to understand and help.” Alex struggled to maintain a straight face. She swallowed a laugh as the seemingly tortured demon resumed pacing on the rug. “What makes my life so important? Am I going to stop some worldwide destruction? Am I?” The line between real and unreal wobbled, and Alex decided she had to get to the doctor’s soon.

“Call the annihilation of the future biblical, call it apocalyptic, call it whatever you want. Take your pick. What a fucking mess.” Clive stopped, held his head for a second before flopping on the sofa next to Alex. “Think you can cover all this shit up?”

Alex raised her eyebrows at him. This was all so much more fun now she knew he wasn’t real. “Biblical, eh? I guess I’d better. Gawd, I wouldn’t want the destruction of the world on my shoulders would I?” May as well humor the hallucination, she thought. Feeling more thirst coming on, Alex shifted off the sofa and wandered towards the kitchen. “You want a drink?” A second later she asked, “Do you drink?” She disappeared though the doorway, only to poke her head back into the living room. “Is there a God? Oh, and is he/she on the upper or lower floor?”