My Immortal (5 page)

"You're such an asshole! I don't even know
why I came! You're not the same boy that I fell in love with. I
shouldn't have risked my life to come, I hate you!" I scream.

I instantly regret saying it. I don't hate
him. Emotions and hurt just caused it to fly out of my mouth. It's
that I love him so much that's the problem. He can hurt me so
easily because of how much I love him.

Something flickers in his eyes, maybe hurt,
but it's gone so fast that I may have imagined it. His eyes flicker
past me, probably to the torch. I forgot about that stupid
torch.

I turn to go put it out somehow, probably
with dirt, but stop dead in my tracks facing an authority just
inside of the cell door.

"We all hate him, that's why we treat him so
badly," the authority tells me, his voice thickly accented.

I gulp.

He smiles and it sends a chill through my
body.

He says something in the other language to
the group of authorities just outside of the cell and one comes
forward with a syringe and shackles. I back up with my hands out,
pleadingly.

He tisks at me.

"You are a pretty little thing, yes? An
angel?"

I don't answer. A deep and threatening growl
erupts from Shadow that sends chills down my spine.

"Interesting," he says. He says something
else to his comrade. Someone hands him another set of shackles. "We
have been trying to get this one to eat, yeah?" he cants his head
towards Shadow. "But when we finally get him to eat, he can't keep
the blood down."

I just glare at him.

"Maybe we will try your blood," he suggests,
suddenly gripping my arm too tightly, causing me to wince.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Shadow
threatens menacingly from the corner.

"Temper, temper," the authority tisks.

He is missing several teeth and he has a bald
head with a very large nose.

Another authority takes a set of shackles
towards Shadow, along with the torch, and two other guys back him
up with torches as well.

"Don't hurt him, please!" I beg. "I'll give
him my blood anyways!"

The authority tilts his head to the side,
examining me like one would through a microscope.

"We won't hurt him if he obeys, angel.
Besides, right now we're just trying to make more like him."

"How are you going to do that?" I ask
curiously.

"Make babies of course! So far none have
survived birth though," he seems upset about this. In his twisted
mind, it's probably because his little project failed not because
of all of the babies that didn't survive. Shadow's babies….

The information settles like a stone in my
gut. It twists my heart into a vise grip. I hate to think what it
does to Shadow, the father of said babies. But thinking about him
with another female hurts me worse than anything I have ever
felt.

Behind me I hear Shadow fighting the
authorities and I turn to see what the commotion is about. They
poke him with the butt of the torch to get him to behave while they
shackle him.

I try to jerk out of the authority's tight
grasp but in the blink of an eye he shackles me, and drags me over
to the wall, hooking my shackles there. I quickly find out that my
hands are behind my back attached to some hook on the wall. The
only good thing is that I get to sit.

Shadow isn't as lucky as he still struggles;
even though his hands and feet are shackled, they keep jabbing him
with the torch.

They finally get him shackled to the stone
ledge in a sitting position.

They have his arms behind his back, wrists
locked together. His ankles are also in shackles at the bottom of
the ledge. And they have stripped him of his tattered pants…all he
wears now is a cloth covering his lap.

The bald man says something and the one with
the syringe jabs it into Shadow's neck. He grunts.

I watch with confusion as they all head
towards the door.

"Maybe after he's fed and impregnated Jezebel
we will try your blood. After all, I doubt he'll be able to keep
hers down either…but there's just something in his eyes when he
looks at you…that tells me you may be the one to bring him back
from the edge of death…" the bald man winks at me and walks out the
door.

Next thing I know he is coming back in,
trying to keep some crazed female off of him. She must be drugged
because no girl as pretty as her would want to be hanging all over
the bald man with the big nose.

I glance worriedly at Shadow and beads of
sweat have formed all over his skin, causing him to glisten. I
normally would take time to appreciate his half naked body
glistening with sweat but something about his stricken face causes
me to panic. His chest rises and falls heavily and he's shaking his
head and squeezing his eyes open and shut, baring his teeth
together. His wings twitch as if trying to flap but don't quite
have the energy.

Probably trying to keep the drugs from
affecting him although it's no use.

Now I know what's going to happen. It's what
I deserve really.

I have to watch the love of my life have sex
with someone else, and probably enjoy it because of the drugs.

Shadow's heavy, still glowing eyes meet mine
and I can see from here how dilated his pupils are. He's about to
lose the battle against the drugs.

My lips pull up at the corner,
bitter-sweetly. "At least now you can get me back…" I say with a
heavy heart.

He frowns and shakes his head but then I can
tell I've lost him. His attention is on the girl.

The authority rips her shirt off and she
presses herself against him. He pushes her away and smiles at me
before he slips out of the cell and locks us in.

"We'll be back when it's done, angel," he
says smugly. "Enjoy the show."

I whimper and tears fill my eyes.

• Chapter Four
  

The girl is pretty and that makes it even more
unbearable to watch. She seems dazed and confused that the bald man
just left her and locked her in here. She hasn't even noticed me or
Shadow yet. Maybe she won't notice him…gross to think but maybe she
will just see me and…no. I can't even finish the thought.

She grabs herself and moans, and then
shimmies out of her shredded and stained skirt.

Ew. Gross. What if she is…dirty?

I don't want to, but I look back at Shadow
and see that he's completely entranced by her. Those red eyes that
I love so much are completely focused on her and all of her
assets.

My heart splinters.

She turns towards me, and I notice her dirty,
blonde hair goes all the way down to her waist. She walks over to
me and touches my face. I give her a weird expression and she gives
me a puzzled one. Like she can't imagine why I don't like that
she's rubbing my face like a lover would.

Her pupils are diamonds and they are so
dilated that I can't even tell what color her irises are. She bites
her lip and starts rubbing her arm and I think she actually thinks
that it feels good.

Shadow groans and my heart picks up
speed.

She pauses and looks over her shoulder at
Shadow.

She has noticed
my
Shadow now.

She is tall for a girl and has a skinny waist
with a very plump rump and nice breasts. I am so jealous that I may
never get over this. I will probably always compare myself to this
girl, knowing that Shadow was with someone as beautiful as her will
forever be burned into my mind. Even if he ever wanted me again I
can't compare to her. I'd be second best, knowing he'd had
better.

She saunters over to him, long, blonde hair
swinging, and his eyes roam hungrily over her body.

"HEY!" I yell at her. Shadow's eyes don't
even flick my way.

"DON'T GO NEAR HIM!" I try desperately. "HE
BITES!"

She laughs, all girly and cute. "I don't
think he wants to hurt me…I think he wants to do something
else…very much," she says.

A string of curse words threaten to fly out
of my mouth along with many vile names directed towards her, but
I'm tied up now and she's not, who knows what kind she is anyways,
she could kill me if she wanted to.

She finally reaches him and sits on his lap
facing him, running her hands down his chest. She's blocking him
from my view damnit!

"Don't touch me," he mumbles.

"He doesn't like to be touched!" I hiss at
her.

She releases his hands somehow from the
shackles behind the ledge.

"Fine. You touch me then," she says putting
his hand over her chest.

And he wastes no time from there. He runs his
hands along her back. Up. down. All the way to her bottom to
squeeze.

Out of options and desperate, I try to reach
Shadow through his drug induced, lust hazed mind.

"Shadow! Shadow! PLEASE! Please don't do
this!" I beg.

I get no response. I probably wasn't even
heard.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t want to! I
love you so much! Gods, I love you so much still!"

Bile rises in my throat and tears fall freely
from my face and land in my lap.

His hands suddenly stop moving on her back
and my heart pounds furiously with hope. Have I gotten through to
him?

He says something to her that sounds like a
refusal and she pauses, taken aback. He grabs her waist and tries
to push her off of him.

Yes!
I cheer with relief in my head!
Oh gods, thank you so much!

He peers around her and we make eye contact.
She continues to evade his rejections and continues to kiss and
grope his body. His gaze becomes sad and his eyes become heavy
lidded with pleasure.

I am losing him again. She moans and starts
groping him furiously, and she tosses the rag that covered his lap
towards me. It lands on the ground in front of me and I squeeze my
eyes shut.

When I open them again his eyes are hooded
but he tries to stay focused on me.

"Shadow! Stay with me," I beg.

I wail.

But it's no use because she has the
advantage.

She turns his face to her with both hands and
kisses him furiously.

I can't even watch anymore and there is no
stopping them now. I can see that there will only be one outcome
for this.

He's letting her touch him now.

"What's wrong with you?!" she asks, high
pitched. "Kiss me!"

"Don't touch me…." He mumbles. "No! I
can't…get off me!" he groans, trying to push her again.

He peers around her to look at me again and
mouths that he's sorry.

Tears run freely down my face and I just
shake my head, trying to say it's okay. It's really not okay. I'm
not okay. But I know it's not really his fault.

Not really.

"Mhhhmmm!" she says haughtily like she had an
epiphany. "You like angels, baby?" she asks him.

How the heck does she know that I'm an angel?
I don't even know what she is.

She stands up and shifts.

My mouth. Drops open.

Should have remembered those diamond pupils
and that they belong to shifters.

Suddenly I am staring at myself. An evil
version no doubt, with that smug smile on her face.
Of
course
she would be a shifter. I laugh hysterically.

The gods really do hate me.

Hell, I'm starting to hate myself.

She arcs an eyebrow at me because I am still
laughing.

I look at Shadow and I can see that he's done
for now. His jaw is loose and his face has a look of awe and worry
on it at the same time as something that seems to be confusion. He
looks back and forth from me to her a few more times, unsure if
it's the drug causing him to have illusions or if this is real and
there really are two of me.

But shortly thereafter, that look on his face
seems to change into surrender.

I'm so mad that I could spit fire. And
honestly it hurts that we tried so hard and got so close to
preventing this.

"Don't you think it's pretty sad that you
have to be me just to have your way with him?" I say brokenly, but
loud enough for her to hear.

She just looks at me with no expression. She
is really so totally gone with drugs that she may not have even
heard me. She turns to Shadow, slowly running her hands over her
naked body…my naked body. Wow, this is weird, and oh so
painful.

It's like a train wreck though, where I can't
look away.

Her (my) white wings release and Shadow
closes his eyes, more sweat beading on his skin, forehead wrinkled
as if in pain.

She scoots closer on him, her waist to his,
cocooning them in her (my) white, fluffy wings.

I don't hear any more pleas for her to stop
touching him; all I hear is wet, sloppy kisses.

Somehow, I can finally look away when she
starts moving up and down and they moan into each others
mouths.

I guess sound is enough for now.

What I wouldn't give to take that torch and
burn my eyes out. Why couldn't it have been dark during all of
this?

I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, heart beating
erratically in my chest.

I hum to myself.

I try to picture Gabe because the jealousy is
so great; I think maybe it'll make me feel better. But it hurts
just as bad, if not worse, because when I was with Gabe, I didn't
want to be. My heart and mind went out for Shadow.

Knowing he is over there enjoying her is
ripping my heart out of my body and chewing it up to spit out.

I'm shaking now with the force of my tears. I
can't retreat into myself far enough.

How long must I suffer? How long has it
been?

It feels like it's been a lifetime. But in
all reality at least fifteen minutes.

I wish so much that I could cover my ears,
but damnit my hands are shackled behind my back.

"STOP!" I scream.

"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASEEEEEEEEE!" I
wail and wail and wail.