My Misery Muse (14 page)

Four and a half hours after our scheduled time to meet, Alex walked in, looking like death rolled over.  I glanced at Sam, we both exchanged nervous glances.  Dealing with Alex lately was a crap shoot, he either blew up or he would storm off, you never knew what to expect, except that some sort of drama was going to happen.

“You’re late,” Sam said.

“Fuck off,” Alex said.

“We said 11,” Xavier said. “It’s after 3:30.”

“I don’t need your shit, I showed up didn’t I?” Alex growled.

We had asked some of our friends to come over and help us talk to Alex, hoping that if he didn’t listen to us that maybe he would listen to them.  I saw Alex look around, finally noticing Drake, Crispin, and Max.

“What the fuck is going on?” he asked.

“We need to talk to you,” I said.

“What is this some kind of fucking intervention?” he said glaring at me.

“Not exactly,” Sam said. “We’re just concerned about you, we want to know what’s been up with you lately.”

“Nothing’s up with me,” he growled. “Why don’t you worry about what we’re going to do when Seth bails on us.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.

“Yea how you going to be a daddy and husband on the road?” he said.

“Devi and I are working it out,” I replied. “But this isn’t about me, and this started back in LA before Jaks and Devi.”

“Whatever man, if we’re not going to work I’m leaving,” Alex said.

“If you leave now, don’t bother coming back,” Xavier told him.

That stopped Alex, he slowly turned and glared at each of us, “You’re fucking kicking me out of the band?”

“You’re not here to begin with,” Sam said. “We can’t kick someone out who never shows up.”

“I’m here aren’t I, and all you guys want to do is talk like a bunch of pussies,” Alex said.

“No, we want to know what’s wrong with you man,” said Drake.

“Drake, you don’t know shit, so shut up,” Alex said. “While you’ve been sitting around finding people who can play music, I’ve been out there actually playing it.”

I saw Drake stiffen; Drake worked as an A&R guy at a local indie label, and was damn good at his job.  I had always wondered why he hadn’t gone to a larger label, now I’m guessing it’s because he wanted to be near Devi to help with Jaks.

“This isn’t about Drake, either, Alex,” Sam said. “This is about you, is it drugs?  Is that the problem, because if it man, we’ll help you any way we can.”

“You know what, I don’t need your shit, I’m done!” Alex yelled then stormed off slamming the door.

We all sat there in silence upset about what had happened, but I wasn’t exactly surprised by his reaction.  I ran my fingers through my hair; a small piece of me hoped we would be able to get through to him. But living with a junkie as a child had taught me you can’t force it, if someone wanted to admit to the problem then they would, if they didn’t they wouldn’t.  The only thing we could do was be there for him when and if he was ready for help.  In the meantime we would have to contact the label, and then start looking for a new drummer. 

“Drake, are you picking Jaks up?” I asked.

He looked over at me, “Yea I told Devi I would, still want me to?”

No, I really didn’t, I wanted to go get my son and hold him tight, promise him that I would never do to him what either of my parents had done to me. But we needed to make some phone calls, and deal with the fall out.

“Yea, if you wouldn’t mind, I have a feeling it’s going to be a rough few days,” I said.

“Yea, I think your right,” Drake said. “Let me know if I can help, if you decide to look for a new drummer I know some in the area that would love to audition for you guys.”

“Thanks Drake, we may take you up on that,” Sam said.

I looked over at Max and Cris who had stayed quiet through all of it.  “Any ideas on what to do?” I asked.

“Look for a new drummer, talk to your label, get it all squared away,” Cris said. “You know what his problem is as well as I do Seth.”

“Yea I know,” I said quietly.

“After you get that figured out, fix whatever the hell happened between you and Dev,” Cris growled. “I can’t stand to watch her hurting.”

With that Cris got up and left, which seemed to be a theme for Cris lately.  I looked over at Max, “Problems at the shop?”

“Cris and Dev are at each other’s throats,” he shrugged. “I guess she told him no to his proposal, things have been tense for a few weeks now.  Plus Dev hasn’t been in the best of moods lately, not since that night.”

“Yea, I know the feeling,” I murmured.

“She’s scared, Seth,” Drake said. “You two will work it out.”

“How, when she won’t talk to me?”

“How about a night out?” Sam asked. “You could both use it.”

“When are we supposed to have time for that?” I asked. “We’re looking for a new drummer.”

“And we got to find one fast, we’re supposed to play at Bush’s Saturday night,” Xavier said.

We all collectively cursed, I had forgotten about us trying new material out at Bush’s.

“Eli knows all your stuff from the other albums, I’m sure he can pick up anything new you might have for him in the time you have left, want me to talk to him?” Drake asked.

“He really knows our stuff?” Sam asked.

“Yep, we play it a lot when we’re messing around, he’s a damn good drummer,” Drake said.

“Yea, give him a call, see if he’s willing,” Sam said. “Then see if you can come up with a babysitter for Jaks for the night, and drag your sister out to Bush’s with you.”

With some sort of game plan at hand Drake took off to pick up Jaks and call Eli, Max headed off to work, and Sam, Xavier and I called the label.

I was standing with Jules at the counter at the front of the shop, listening to her deal with a difficult client, trying not to laugh at Jules eye rolling when Cris came back to the shop.  He had been out most of the day and Vic had worked for him. I was relieved to see Cris; I really hated working with Vic.  Vic was always whining about some seen slight against him, most of the time it was his own fault, he was a sexist asshole.

“Hey Cris,” I said as he walked up to the counter. “How was your day?” I had been trying to get things back on track with Cris for a few weeks now, we’re able to hold amicable conversations now but it was still tense between us, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

“It pretty well blew,” he said.

“I’m sorry, want to talk about it?” I asked.

“Eh, you’ll hear about it soon enough I guess.” he said with a shrug. “Alex walked out of My Misery Muse today.”

“Damn,” I murmured. “Seth was worried about that.”

“So you’re talking to Seth now?” Cris said sarcastically.

“Yes and no,” I said ignoring his sarcasm. “He asked if I could arrange for someone else to pick up Jaks tonight, that he was going to be busy dealing with Alex.”

“Yea well they dealt with it alright, now they are minus one drummer,” said Cris. “Need me to pick up Jaks?”

“No, Drakes going to,” I said. “What were you doing there?”

“Sam thought it would be good to have his friends there, so he asked Drake, Max, and me to sit in,” he said heading back to his office. “I’m going to get some ordering done while its slow, call if you need me.”

I stood staring out the front window of the shop but not really seeing anything, I knew Seth was upset, the whole thing with Alex was dredging up his past and the memories of his junkie mother.  I’m sure Seth being Seth was hiding it from everyone else, but I’ m one of the few who knew about his mother, and the truth about her death.  She’d OD’d his senior year of high school, he’d been 17 at the time and went to live with Sam and his family to finish out the school year. He’d had no family left and I saw how badly it had hurt him that his mother had chosen drugs and alcohol over him.  This thing with Alex was certainly rehashing it all for him, and I wanted to call him, but I didn’t think it was my place any longer. I had put distance between us something I felt was the right thing to do at the time, but now I wasn’t so certain.  My cell rang at that point pushing away my thoughts.

“What’s up, Drake?” I said.

“So I am on my way to get Jaks, but I can’t sit with him,” Drake said. “I’ve got to pick up Eli and head over to Xavier’s.”

“That’s fine, I am through with appointments for the day. My last one canceled on me, as long as we don’t get any walk-ins I am finished for the day.”

“Alright then, I’ll bring him over to the shop after I pick up Eli on my way,” he said.

“Ok, see you guys soon,” I said. “Hey and Drake thanks, I love you.”

“Oh hell Dev, don’t get all sentimental on me.” he said with a chuckle and hung up.

I couldn’t help feeling grateful, yes my parents didn’t want anything to do with Jaks or me, but I still had a kick ass older brother who was willing to do anything for me.  I knew he had given up job offers in the past so he could stay here and help me. He never came out and told me of course, he knew I would tell him to go and he didn’t want me feeling guilty for holding him back.  He loved the freedom he had at the indie label and he wouldn’t get that at a big label, but sometimes I wonder if he will end up resenting me for holding him back.  A couple of customers walked in knocking me out of my dark musings, thankfully.  I watched them as they walked around checking out the flash we had up on walls, and I really hoped they would end up leaving without getting a tat; I was ready to head home and spend the evening with Jaks.

I was sitting at my station talking to Jules, it was slow, which was typical for a Thursday afternoon, I looked up at the door when the chime went off.  Drake walked in holding Jaks’ hand with Eli trailing them. 

“Mama!” Jaks yelled then took off at a run towards me.

I picked him up and gave him a long hard hug and kissed both his cheeks. “Hey baby,” I got out before he started pulling away to get down and attack Jules. 

Jules stood taking Jaks hand, “We’re going to go in the back room and play for a few,” she said then took off with Jaks, him going on and on about his latest car, a Chevelle that Seth had gotten him earlier this week.

“So what’s going on at Xavier’s?” I asked looking up at Drake and Eli.

“Eli here is going to practice with them tonight,” Drake said. “If it goes well he’s going to play with them next Saturday at Bush’s.”

“I forgot about that,” I murmured.

I looked over at Eli, “So is this a permanent thing, or a helping out thing?”

Eli shrugged, “Not sure yet, guess we’ll see how it goes.”

“Would you want it to be a permanent thing?” I asked. “You know it will piss off your parents.”

“I know, but I hate my job working with my dad, and music has always been something I loved,” Eli said. “We’ll see how it plays out; right now I don’t think they’re even looking for someone permanent.”

I glanced over and Drake and he shrugged, “I think they’re still holding on to hope that Alex will come around.”

“I can understand that,” I said.

“Well good luck, and let me know how it turns out,” I said.

“So you’re going to go to Bush’s, right?” Eli asked.