My Seventh-Grade Life in Tights (22 page)

The image of her drawing popped in my head.
Arts eMotion.
Her made-up studio. Maybe she was telling the truth. I studied her face for a few seconds. “If all you want to do is teach, then why’d you steal Kassie’s solo?”

“I already told you, I didn’t. And you can stop looking at me like I’m a liar, because I’m telling the truth.” Sarah’s jaw clenched and for a second I thought she was just going to say something mean. “I told Kassie she should go for it. I even offered to help her with the choreography. But he wouldn’t let me.”

I started to ask who the
he
was, but I already knew the answer. “Your dad.”

Sarah stared down at her feet. “When he found out what happened, he told me he’d rather pull me out of Dance-Splosion than see me give up a solo to another dancer. But—he did what he had to do.”

She stood like that for a few seconds before she looked back up at me, her face all stony and blank. She was doing her best to pretend she was okay, but I knew she wasn’t. Because what she’d just said—all of the junk she’d ever told me about the rules, the pain, ignoring friends—wasn’t really from her. It was from her dad. And I knew how she felt because I’d done the same thing before. Everyone has. We’ll hear something so many times that we start to believe it. Like eating too much chocolate gives you zits. But no matter how much we think it belongs in our head, it still sounds wrong coming out of our mouths. Because the words aren’t right. They don’t fit.

“This is why you have to get ready,” Sarah said. “I can’t let him see me mess this up. Because if you don’t get out there and nail your solo today, he’ll be right. Just like he always is. And I can’t let that happen, Dillon.”

“Wait, so—you’re just using me. To prove something to your dad?”

“Seriously? Now is
not
the time to get all dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic! I actually thought you may have been helping me because you wanted me to win.”

“I do! I mean, yeah, I want to show my dad I have what it takes to be a good teacher, but—” She took a step forward. “I still want you to win. For you, too.”

Whatever. I’d been used. Twice. By Kassie
and
Sarah.

I was Dillon Parker, the plunger. The tool everyone needed to do their dirty work for them.

Except Kassie had never actually sent me headfirst into the toilet. In fact, she’d tried to pull me out, but in a way I wouldn’t let her.

“Listen, we don’t have time to talk about this,” Sarah said, walking toward the door. “You’re on in just a few minutes.” She stormed out into the hallway, but my feet were cemented to the floor. Something wasn’t right. My brain was shuffling around all the chunks of the last four months and nothing was making sense. Like a group dance with only half of it choreographed.

“What’re you doing?” Sarah was holding on to the doorway, her hand stuck out like she was trying to rescue me from sinking.

“I don’t know,” I said. My feet kicked into gear, but they didn’t take me to the door. They took me back and forth from one side of the room to the other.

Before I knew it, Sarah was right beside me with her hands back on my shoulders. “Look, all you have to do it get out there and dance.”

“That’s the thing, Sarah! I don’t even know if I want to.” I shrugged her hands away. “This whole thing has been so weird and now my crew’s out there. Besides, I’ve seen who I’m up against. Those other two are way better than me.”

Sarah balled up her hands in front of her. “None of that even matters. Just get out there and keep your promise. It’s the least you could do, since I got you a scholarship. Now
come on!
”

“What do you mean you
got
me a scholarship?”

Sarah cocked an eyebrow at me. “Do you really think you made it this far just by your dancing?”

“But—I’m getting better. You’ve even said so yourself.”

“True. But better isn’t great. You should be thanking me.”

I fell down onto the chair next to my duffel bag.

“Would it help if I said I already know you’re going to win?”

Every bit of the air left my chest at once. I had to force myself to suck in a breath. I tried to say
What are you talking about?
but all that came out was, “Whaaa?”

“Trust me, it wasn’t easy. But all you have to do is get out there and dance and that scholarship is yours. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

A shiver raced from the top of my head down to my toes.

One more dance.

Three weeks full of dance classes.

A lifetime of dancing.
Real
dancing.

My heart pounded in my chest. In my fingertips. In my ears. And it was screaming for me to get off my butt and do it.

So why wasn’t I on my feet? Why wasn’t I running out the door, ready to hop onstage and snatch a guaranteed summer scholarship from the air?

The music from the stage faded out, leaving the
ba-bum, ba-bum
of my heartbeat crashing in my head. Sarah was tapping her wrist, trying to tell me we didn’t have time. But I couldn’t hear her voice.

All I heard was
ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum…

Get-off…

Your-butt…

And-dance…

Something bright caught the corner of my eye. I looked down at my duffel bag. My Dizzee Freekz pin.

And that’s when it happened.

CLICK!

Something in my head slid into place. And it didn’t just click inside. It clicked everywhere. It clicked so hard I felt it vibrate through my entire body. That little piece of the puzzle that’d been colliding with every part of my brain had finally found a spot to rest.

My heart was telling me to dance. But not for myself. Not for that scholarship.

I turned to Sarah. “I’m sorry.”

Her smile disappeared. “Sorry about what?”

“I can’t do it. I have to drop out.”

The color drained from her face, making the makeup around her eyes and cheeks look even brighter. “You can’t do this to me, Dillon.”

But I was already zipping my bag back up and heading toward the door.

“If—if you do this, you’ll never get into Dance-Splosion!” Sarah’s hands were balled into fists.
“Never!”

I looked down at the pin. The Dizzee Freekz. My crew. My best friends. The ones who let me just be me. The ones I’d turned my back on.

“I’m…okay with that.”

FWOOSH!

The air rushed into my lungs as the vise grip that had been around my chest disappeared. I slid by Sarah, pausing just long enough to say “I’m sorry,” and then barreled down the hallway, away from the stage, toward the main entrance. I pulled my phone out.

To:
Kassie, Carson, Austin

Message:
Get 2 hallway. We have 2 talk!!!!

N
umber 017 was up.

I stuck my ear to the door, listening to the music when—

WHACK!

The door opened right on my nose and a flood of tears poured into my eyes.

“Oh—I’m so sorry!” Kassie said, reaching for my face.

I waved, letting her know I was fine. Carson and Austin piled in beside her.

“You sure?” she asked, and pulled her arms back. “Okay, so—what’s up?” The concern was gone from her voice. No surprise there.

“Yeah, you never use that many exclamation points,” Carson added.

I flexed my face, stretching my nose. “Why are you all here?”

Before she could answer, Sarah came stomping around the corner, hitting the brakes when she saw us. Austin took a step behind Carson.

Kassie scowled. “What’s going on?”

Sarah ignored her and lasered in on me. “Dillon, don’t be stupid, just come back and—”

“Hey, don’t talk to him like that!” Carson said.

“Back off. This isn’t any of your business.”

Carson tanked the oxygen levels in the room after he sucked in all the air with one quick mega-gasp. Or maybe my head was spinning because I’d only eaten half my cereal that morning. More than likely, though, it was because I was scared I’d just brought two of Sunnydale’s biggest enemies together in one room.

“No, it
is
my business,” Carson said. “Dillon’s still my friend.”

“He’s my friend, too!” Sarah’s eyes jumped to me like she almost expected me to laugh and say
Whatever!
But I didn’t. And not just because Carson beat me to it.

“Whatever! I know exactly what you’re doing.” Carson took a step forward, speaking louder every time Sarah opened her mouth. “You’re just playing one of your little games, waiting for the right time to bring everything crashing down on top of him so you can get exactly what you want and make yourself feel better. Just like you did with Kassie. Just like you did with
me
!”

Carson’s eyes were about to spill over with tears. He may have been the skinniest guy I’d ever known, but he was also the toughest. I’d never seen him get upset like that.

“I did what I did because I had to protect—” Sarah shook her head. “I never meant to hurt you, Carson. Or you, Kassie, I swear. I never even wanted that solo. I wanted
you
to dance, because you were amazing.”

Kassie crossed her arms. “Then why’d you audition for it behind my back?”

Sarah walked over to a bench and fell into it. When she finally unburied her head from her hands, she looked pale. Almost sick. “I didn’t want to. I told my dad you deserved a shot at that national title just as much as I did. But he told me if I was going to start handing over all of my solos, he’d make me quit Dance-Splosion.”

Kassie’s face was the picture of shock. Carson and Austin stared at her like they were halfway expecting her to rip into Sarah at any second. But all she did was keep her eyes glued to the floor. She shoved her hands in her back pockets.

Sarah started to speak, then stopped. Her fingers played at the end of her ponytail. “I’m sorry. I should’ve said no.”

Kassie looked back up. Her mouth was scrunched up like it was trying to smile through a wall of hurt. “Probably good we didn’t go through with our plan then, huh?”

“Plan?”

“We were going to have Dillon sabotage the contest,” Carson said, still looking mad. “I’m not totally convinced we still shouldn’t do it.”

“I never wanted to,” Austin said, his voice sounding hoarse, like he’d almost forgotten how to speak. Sarah swiveled her head toward him. He added a weak “Hi,” and almost stuck his finger up his nose trying to adjust his glasses.

“Guess I can’t blame you,” Sarah said. “I was pretty awful.”

Kassie shook her head. “No. You weren’t. But I’m sort of feeling like a terrible person right now.” She turned to me. I thought she’d be angry at me for putting her in a situation where she had to apologize to Sarah. I expected her eyes to be so cold they could’ve frozen a volcano. What I saw, though, was something different. “I never should’ve put you in the middle of this,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Seriously? I’m the one who should be apologizing, Kass. I wanted to get better at dancing. I was tired of always letting you down. All I did was end up acting like a butt and making my friends hate me.”

Austin snorted out a laugh.

“We don’t hate you, Dillon. And as much as I like you getting all sensitive, it’s going to have to wait.” She tapped the sticker on the front of my shirt. “You need to get going. You’re up soon.”

“I can’t. I was wrong. This whole thing was wrong.”

“No, it’s not, Dill. You made it this far. You can’t just give up.” Kassie nodded to Carson and Austin. “That’s why we’re here. We should’ve been supporting you.”

“You’re joking.”

“I know you think you’ve been holding us back. But I’m the one who’s been doing that. If you wanted to learn different moves, I should’ve taught you. And—and I didn’t.”

“You’ll always be part of the Dizzee Freekz,” Carson said. Even Austin nodded.

Sarah stood up, begging me with her eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. My opportunity was staring at me in the face and I was going to turn my back on it.

I walked over to her. “You don’t need me to dance that solo.

She bit the edge of her lip. “Please don’t. If you drop out, my dad—”

“He’ll be mad. Disappointed. You’ll never hear the end of it. Trust me, I know how parents can be. But Avery deserves to win that scholarship. And I can’t go out there and steal it away from her. I can’t do what your dad did to Kassie.”

Sarah took a deep breath, her chest hitching halfway through.

“You’re an incredible dancer. And a really good teacher, too,” I said. “No matter what I decide.”

“But what if he makes me quit? He already threatened to do that once.”

“If he does, then he’s an idiot. No offense.”

She wiped her eyes, laughing underneath the tears. “I wish you’d tell that to him.”

“Tell him yourself,” Kassie said. “Get out there and do it with your dance.”

I smiled at Kassie. She smiled right back.

“I can’t do that. Not with what we’ve already choreographed.”

“Yes, you can,” I said. “Just forget all the rules for once. Forget the steps and the moves and just tell an awesome story. If your dad’s out there, he’ll hear it. Trust me.”