My Soul To Keep (Soul Series Book 1) (45 page)

I nod, but who knows what will happen?

I walk into the booth and close the door.

Drex opens his eyes, sliding the headphones off his head and around his neck. I don’t have anything to say to him yet. Instead, I slam him against the soundproofed wall, manacling his wrists in one hand and wrapping the wires around his neck with the other, pulling them taut. Red invades his face, and his eyes stretch until I think they may pop out of his head. I want them to pop out of his head. I tighten the wires more, drawing his ears closer to my lips so I can whisper to him.

“Do I have your attention, you loathsome piece of shit?”

He can’t speak. His oxygen is choked off. He sputters.

“Nod.”

He does, frantically.

“You probably think I’m going to say that if you ever touch her again, I’ll destroy you, right?” I hiss into his reddened ear. “That’s what you’ve heard, isn’t it? That when people cross me, I make them pay because I have influence in this town. Is that what you’ve heard?”

He nods and whimpers.

“In your pathetic mind, you probably think your career is tanked because of something I’ve done. Some strings I’ve pulled. Nope. You’re just a low-rate, mediocre no-talent. I didn’t have to lift a finger to ruin your career. You do that just by sucking.”

He jerks at me, like he can do something, but he can’t

“That’s not what I’m here to tell you, fucker.” Anger makes me pant. Makes me sweat. “I’m here to tell you—now listen close to this part because I’m not ever saying it again—I’m here to tell you that if you ever touch her again, come near her again, or even talk about her to anyone, I’ll kill you.”

I pull back to peer into his panic-stretched eyes.

“Kill. Dead. Not metaphorical. Do you understand?”

The booth door flies open, and Marlon rushes in, pulling me off the douchebag. Drex slides down the wall to land on his ass, hauling in air like his life depends on it, clutching his neck.

“What are you doing?” Marlon shoves at my chest. “You’re trippin’! You can’t just go around—”

“I can. I just did.” I jerk back and stare at Drex. “Don’t forget what I said, motherfucker.”

And I’m out. I hear Drex hurling obscenities and empty threats at my back. Thinking I give a fuck. The thought of that lizard having sex with my girl is a buzz saw right down the center of my brain, but that isn’t the worst part. The worst part is he knows, everybody knows, I’ve never bothered committing to anyone. I haven’t been serious about anyone since Petra, and that was high school. When I went public with Kai, I had no idea what he had against me. Against her. Any scruples he has, he sets aside to get at me. I’ve seen it before. And for him to know how much Kai means to me, to know he slept with her, it doesn’t just anger and disgust me, it flat out petrifies me. How will he use this against
her
to get at
me
?

I climb behind the wheel, phone to my ear.

“Gep, she still with you?”

“No, she went home.”

“Good. I’m on my way there now.”

The silence on the other end feels off.

“Gep, what?”

“Not your place. She went back to her apartment.”

I should have seen that coming, but it still jolts my heart. I turn the SUV around and head for her place.

“How was she?”

“Not good. Maybe you should, you know . . .”

“Don’t say give her some space. That shit’s not happening.”

I hang up before he can bestow more of his sage relationship advice on me. When I pull into the parking lot of Kai’s apartment, I don’t know why I’m surprised to see a few paps camped out.

My damn life.

Oh, well. They might just get a show because there’s no way I’m letting this go tonight.

One of them approaches me, shutters snapping.

“Did you and Kai have a fight? She looked upset when she got home.”

I ignore him, stabbing the doorbell.

“Rhyson, how do you feel about Kai living with another man?”

“Can you address rumors that she’s also seeing Dub Shaughnessy?”

I’m about two seconds from shoving that camera up a very dark hole in that little gremlin’s body if he doesn’t back off me.

The door cracks open, chain on, to reveal a sliver of San’s face. He doesn’t look happy to see me. I’m not happy to see him either.

“I need to come in.”

“I don’t think so.” He slits his eyes at me. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Tonight. Now. Open the door, San.” I glance over my shoulder. “I really don’t want to give these carnies a freak show, but I will.”

“What did you do to make her cry?”

Something as hot as acid burns my throat at even the thought of her tears, but I gulp it back.

“Nothing,” I lie. “I didn’t do anything. It’s a misunderstanding. Let me in so we can talk about it.”

“Rhyson, dammit.”

“I love her.” I trap his eyes through the tiny space the chain allows, not even caring if the reporters behind me hear. “You know I do. I’d never hurt her.”

He bangs his forehead against the door three times before slipping the chain off and cracking the door open just enough for me to slip in. I hear cameras snapping behind me.

“They always out there like that?” I glance around the small space where I’d courted Kai for months. I’d never really thought of it that way, but that’s what it was. Courtship. Taking time to win her. Best investment of my time ever.

“Not always.” San shrugs. “I think they saw her in that bodyguard’s SUV and probably thought you were with her.”

“I don’t like her here anymore. It’s not secure enough.”

“Seems to me you’re the greatest danger to her.” San frowns at me. “Before I let you see her—”

“Oh, you’re on one if you think you’re
letting
me see her.” I brush past him, but he grabs my arm. “Dude, let go.”

“That girl back there is the best friend I have in the world.” San tightens his fingers around my arm. “We’ve been through everything together. I’ve seen her when her dad left and when her mom died. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her cry like she’s crying in there now, so yeah, I’ll be deciding if you get to see her.”

That I can respect. I can appreciate someone who cares about her that way.

“Drex Martin was at the studio tonight.”

San’s response says it all. Damn Kai and her secrets.

“Yeah, I see you already know what that means. He couldn’t wait to tell me about the two of them. I needed to handle him first, and I think she thought I . . . I didn’t make it clear. I’m an asshole.”

San nods, slowly releasing my arm.

“She was in a dark place that night.”

“Don’t tell me.” I shake my head. “I don’t wanna know. I don’t ever wanna know.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving her.”

“That’s fine.” I shrug. “You might hear a lot of yelling and screaming and shit. Who knows what it will take to make up with her? For sure, you’re gonna hear us fucking like animals before the night’s out. If that’s how you get your rocks off, stick around.”

San nods slowly, lips twisting sideways. He slides his hands into his front pockets. Upon further consideration, he grabs his backpack from a nearby table. He turns at the door.

“I’ll lock up on my way out.”

“You do that.”

His prerogative, of course.

I’m surprised when the doorknob to Kai’s room turns under my hand, and the door swings open. The room is completely dark. Sobs come from the small, shaking lump on the bed, the sound paring away the protective layers of my heart until, even though I’m not crying, I’m as vulnerable as she is. I measure my steps over to the bed. She’s sobbing so hard she doesn’t realize I’m approaching, or maybe she does.

“San, go away,” she mumbles into her pillow. “Please, just leave me alone for a little while.”

I touch her back and caress her hair.

“Pep, it’s me.”

She goes stiff, but doesn’t sit up. If anything she burrows deeper into the pillow.

“Rhyson, go. Oh, God, why are you here?” Her voice breaks so badly I can barely understand her. “Just go. I don’t want to see you.”

I stretch to the table beside her bed, flick on the lamp, and reach back to gently turn her over. I don’t know who I want to kill more, Drex or myself, for doing this to her. Her beautiful face is mottled red. Those eyes that seduce me without even trying are swollen almost shut.

“I’m a mess,” she whispers, covering her face. “Don’t look at me.”

“Oh, I’m looking at you.” My throat is so sore with the emotions I’m holding back, I couldn’t sing now if my life depended on it. “I haven’t been able to stop looking at you since you walked into Grady’s music room that first night.”

She folds her body in half, pressing her face to her knees.

“I wanted to tell you, Rhyson, but I was so scared I’d lose you.” Tears mangle her words. She sniffs, but it doesn’t help. “It was my mom’s first birthday since the funeral, and after the shoot, Drex invited me out for drinks. I . . . I was so lonely and desperate to just feel.”

“I don’t want to know this, Pep.” I wish I was big enough to let her get this off her chest, but the more details I know about that piece of shit fucking my girl, the worse it will be.

“But . . . I don’t even remember it, Rhyson.” She closes her eyes tightly, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. “I remember him taking me to his place, and then—”

“Pep.” I place my index finger over her soft lips, shaking my head. “I can’t. I don’t ever want to know. Those images in my head would be too much. I can get past this because I don’t know anything. Hearing the details, seeing it in my head, I don’t know what that would do.”

Tears stream down her cheek, and she covers her face with both hands.

“The one person you hate more than anyone, and I . . . and I . . .”

“Baby, listen to me.” My arms literally ache from not holding her. I slide to the top of her bed, back against the headboard and pull her beside me, tucking her head into my shoulder. “It’s shit luck. That’s all. It’s like the universe played the worst trick on us it possibly could. I hate Drex, and the thought of him . . .”

The words die in my mouth, poisoned by a toxic mix of nausea, fury, and disgust. I’ll block even the thought of it.

“You’re the one thing I can’t give up. I’ve been hooked on Xanax. That was bad, but Grady sent me to rehab, and I kicked that habit.”

I pull back to look into her teary, bloodshot eyes.

“There’s no kicking you,” I say hoarsely. “You’re in my veins. In my blood. In my bones, and I just want you deeper. I want you so close that nothing and no one, certainly not that douchebag, could ever come between us.”

“I thought you would never want me again.” Her mouth wobbles. Tears course over her flushed cheeks. “I thought you couldn’t look at me. That you were disgusted by me now that you knew I had been with him.”

Not want her? Hell, I’m hard as ice right now with her this close.

I press her hand to my cock so she can feel for herself. So she can know that nothing has changed between our hearts or our bodies. Her eyes meet mine, wide and wet and dark. Without looking away, she rolls her hand up and down on me. I stiffen in my jeans under her fingers to the point of pain. My head falls against hers.

“Yeah, Pep, that’s it,” I husk into her hair.

Her pull goes faster, harder, and I’ll be damned if I’m coming in my pants after a night like this. I pull her hand away, my hands trembling to get my zipper down and my pants and boxers over my legs. She’s just as urgent, slipping her jeans and panties off, positioning her knees on either side of me on the bed, poised above me. I reach down to my jeans pocket for a condom, but she grabs my wrist, and shakes her head, eyes steady and hot on mine.

“I took care of it.”

She slides onto me, tight and creamy. I’ve never done this. Not one time in my life have I been inside a girl raw. The hot, liquid slide of flesh on flesh is addictive and intoxicating, like her pussy is lined with liquor. The ride starts slow, our eyes connected as she eases up and pushes down. But the pace builds from steady to frantic, so vigorous her small breasts bounce. I grip her hips and take one breast into my mouth, suckling the nipple until it swells hard. She moans and throws her head back, bracing one hand on my shoulder. I fall back onto the bed, and she keeps riding me, lording over me like a goddess. I reach up and palm her breasts. I pump up into her, and her mouth falls open with short, hot breaths.

“Harder, Rhys,” she pants. “I need . . .”

I know what she needs. I pull out and flip her onto her knees, positioned behind her on the bed, entering in one strong stroke. I’m in so deep she screams. I want to scream too. She milks me, grips me like a fist, clutches me.

Did he have her like this?

The thought intrudes on this intimate moment like a searchlight, harsh and bright. I won’t let him do this. I won’t let him spoil this for me. He won’t spoil
her
for me. I push deeper, ramming my hips against her ass. It’s mine. Reaching around to squeeze her breasts. They’re mine. I slide my fingers down the sleek plane of her belly and plunge my fingers between those thick, wet lips. They’re mine. I pinch her clit. It’s mine.

Every time I mark a piece of flesh, she cries out. She’s jerking beneath me, weeping. I don’t know if it’s the intensity of the pleasure, or relief that we still have this, still have each other despite how Drex tried to break us, but I understand her tears because emotion swells in my chest.

I will die if I don’t come soon, but I want to come looking into her eyes. I pull out again and lay her on her back, spreading her for me. I only take time to glance at the strong dancer’s legs dropped open and the subtle line of muscles in her stomach, the pink lips between her thighs, dripping for me, before I plunge back in. I capture her eyes and grip her thigh. I trace up her waist and over her breast and up her arm until I reach her hand, marrying our fingers.

There’s no barrier, nothing between our bodies. Nothing between our souls. The house could be on fire, maybe it is, but I can’t look away from her. Tears roll down her cheeks and into the corners of her mouth, down her neck. I bend, licking the path of her tears, groaning when the salty taste of her love bursts on my tongue.