My Woman His Wife Saga (32 page)

I heard one of the twins crying, so I decided to let Jazz sleep in, and I tended to them myself. Jaden had been having nightmares lately, so I knew it would be a while before I went back to sleep.

As I was coming down the steps I thought I heard someone in my kitchen, and I ran to see what was what. It was three o'clock in the morning, and no one should be downstairs but me. Dashing through the dining room I almost slipped on the hardwood floor as I came to a screeching halt. On my dining room table was a baby in a car seat.

I tiptoed toward the baby, not sure why I was scared. It was only a baby, not a bomb. As I got a closer look, I realized this wasn't just any baby, it was Monica's. I briefly wondered how she got in, but then I saw the note and the house key sitting on the table behind the car seat. Not really knowing what to do, I quickly got the twins a drink before grabbing Monica's child and making my way back upstairs. I made sure the twins drank their water and put them to sleep before I took Monica's baby in to Jazz.

I walked in the room quietly and took the baby out of the car seat. After grabbing the note I sat down on the bed to gather my thoughts. I looked at the baby for a while, then decided to wake up Jazz. She would know what to do.

“Baby, wake up. I need you to see this.”

“See what, James? I gotta get up in a few hours.”

“I know, baby, but this can't wait until the morning.”

When Jazz turned over and opened her eyes, her entire face showed shock. “James, how the . . . where did . . .”

“She left this note.”

Jazz continued to stare at James, Jr. before she began reading the letter out loud. I sat in silence and listened to what Monica had to say.

Jazz and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes. I had tears and Jazz had a look of shock in her eyes more than anything else. I walked over to the window in silence, not sure what to think or say but for some sick strange reason I could sense that Monica had actually won in her vindictive selfish war she was waging on the marriage that we were desperately trying to save.

I looked out the window in time to see Monica looking up at me from across the street. Our eyes met briefly before she got into her car and slowly drove away. I didn't know how to feel at that moment. Because although Monica was driving away, I knew that it was only symbolic. She would resurface and I had a deep intuition that when and if she resurfaced that Jazz and I probably wouldn't be together anymore . . .

 

I never thought I would leave Philly, but that just goes to show how life can change when you least expect it. Yolanda wasted no time meeting the abundance of men the ATL had to offer. I got her a condo not far from mine so I could keep an eye on her. She was grown, but if I knew Yoyo, she'd be in trouble in no time, and someone had to bail her out, right?

As for me, I was taking it one day at a time. I will say that the first year here I missed my son so much that on a few occasions I packed a bag and was almost on the first thing smoking back to Philly to get him. Each time I got close to the airport or train station I turned my car around at the last minute. I had caused enough pain in James's and Jasmine's lives. I knew my son was in good hands, so there wasn't any need to interrupt a good thing. One day, maybe, we'd meet. I just wondered if I'd recognize him. Would he hate me forever?

It was almost six o'clock. I could finish this painting later. I had an appointment with my therapist and couldn't be late. Dr. Washington has helped me so much since I've been here, and it doesn't hurt that she's easy on the eyes either. But, I'm behaving myself and not going there.

I just wished for the best for my baby, James, and Jasmine. Hopefully, I would continue on with the therapy and if so I knew that I would be all right.

Plus I had bigger fish to fry. After my appointment I had a date with a certain Philadelphia Eagle who was in town for the weekend, and I didn't want to disappoint him.

I said I wasn't going back to Philly. I didn't say Philly couldn't come to me . . .

 

It seemed like overnight my family grew from four to seven. I've been shocked before, but not like I was when Monica left her child and that fucking note! How do you walk away from your own? But then again, who was I to judge her? I needed to be asking myself how could I continue to mislead James into thinking those babies were his?

Nothing is promised to you. You could be a wife today, divorced tomorrow. Your mother could leave and your family could disown you, but your children belonged to you forever. At first, I was against Monica's baby being with us, and told James to take the baby to the police, but then I realized that it wasn't just Monica's baby, it was also James's baby, and the second I laid eyes on him I knew he'd be a soft spot in my heart forever. Apparently Monica and her judge friends worked all of the kinks out, because once we signed the papers, James, Jr. was officially our son.

Monica never contacted us, and although we didn't need her money, a check for three thousand dollars came like clockwork every month. Some of it we used to buy him stuff, but most went toward his college fund. I guess that was pretty decent of Monica. After all, she did drop her child off on us.

Not too long after that Janice and Jordan made an entrance into the world, and we'd just been one big, “sometimes” happy, family since then. I'm seeing a therapist because I am determined not to let this depression get the best of me. James has been wonderful through it all, and I couldn't ask for a better husband.

Thank God he never actually pressured me into taking a paternity test. He apparently believed me when I simply dismissed Monica's words in the note as a boldfaced, cunning lie on her part. It tore me up inside to know that she was more than likely right. I reasoned that if I unconditionally loved and accepted the baby that James had fathered with Monica, then that would clear my conscience and it would serve as more than enough reason to have James forever believe that the new set of twins were his, and therefore, he would have no choice but to unconditionally love and nurture the lives of the two new babies . . .

 

Life lessons. Some are easier to swallow than others, but all are worthwhile. If I had it to do all over again I'm sure there are things I'd do differently. In some respects, I'm glad I made the mistakes when I did. I've learned that the power of God is irreplaceable, and no matter how many times you fall, he'll take you back. He's forgiving, and always has his eye on you. I've also learned that vows of marriage are not to be taken lightly, and I cherish every day my wife and I have together. It's not every day you find your soul mate, and Jasmine is that in every aspect.

I felt bad when Jasmine suggested we take Junior to the police, especially when I didn't request a paternity test to see if what Monica was saying was indeed true. I'm a man, and I take care of mine. I started going through the baby's things and I found instructions from Monica to contact a guy named Judge Stenton and he would take care of everything. Soon after that, the newest additions to our family arrived. Sheila, surprisingly, helped us. She set Jasmine up with a wonderful therapist to help her with post-partum depression. She's doing better every day.

I'm steadily climbing the corporate ladder. I keep running into this fly honey from marketing on the elevator, but every time I think of dipping out, I think of Monica, and my ass is right back in place. I have a loving wife, wonderful kids, and a great job. Who could ask for anything more?

All I asked James to do was pick up the kids from the afterschool program. I mean, how hard was it to take responsibility for your own damn kids? It made no sense to me that I was called out of a business meeting because it was after six and no one had gone to claim my children yet. I say
my
children because it'd been years since James acted like they were
ours.
How embarrassing is that? This wasn't the first time this had happened either. Another reason why I was so irritated right now. You could mess with me all you wanted, but do not jeopardize my job or the safety of my children. It would quickly become a sticky situation for the accused.

What worked me the most was that I had to make two stops. Monica's son was a bit of a problem child so I had him in an entirely separate program from Jalil, Jaden, Janice, and Jordan. That meant I had to go get my kids first, and then go and get James's son. Now, I know that sounds harsh, but I really don't give a damn. I refused to take any claim to that boy. He belonged to James and Monica. The rest of these kids were mine.

To make matters worse, it was pouring down rain like we were in the middle of a tsunami, so visibility was down to practically nothing. It was a cold January night, and I hated driving in these types of conditions. When I got to Junior's program the instructor threatened once again to kick him out because he refused to just follow directions from either him or any of the aides who worked there. I wanted to snatch his ass up right quick and check him, but I told James that Junior would be his responsibility, and I was standing by it.

Every time I saw his face in the rearview mirror I wanted to pull over and choke the shit out of him. He looked so much like Monica, and he had her “I don't care” attitude as well. Why didn't she take her bastard son with her? I thought if enough time had gone by I could grow to love him like my own, but I just couldn't feed into the lie. He was conceived by my husband and birthed by a woman I'd once loved . . . still did. I hated myself for missing her, but my heart did what it wanted to do, so what could I do about it?

I hated the fact that I could still picture so vividly everything we'd done sexually. I'd given up on James a long time ago, so all I had was memories of Monica during quick masturbation sessions when I finally got some alone time. Hell, I had five kids to raise, so any “me time” I might have had in the past was a done deal now. I was okay with that sacrifice years ago when I was hype about being married and starting a new life. Now, I wished I would have just stayed the single whore I was. Life was much simpler then. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I didn't sign up to be a single parent. That just wasn't a part of the deal. Now I had James to thank for this bitter-ass attitude.
Thanks, James!

I'm not even going to go in on Monica's trifling ass. She got to live a carefree life doing whatever, wherever she lived, and I didn't even get to sleep in late on a Saturday morning because I had responsibilities. Then she had the nerve to send us checks like we needed them. Now, I'll be truthful and say that I had no problem cashing the checks she sent monthly like clockwork for her son because that money got me a new Benz that I drove when weather permitted and Jalil and Jaden a new wardrobe. If she thought I was using it for him then shame on her simple ass for leaving him here. I didn't want her son feeling anywhere near comfortable at my house so he got to wear hand-me-down clothes that Jordan could no longer fit into or I no longer wanted him to have, and if you had a problem with that you could feel free to come get him. I'd have his shit packed by the door ready for your arrival.

Time certainly did fly, though. With Jalil and Jaden being the oldest at eight years old, I had some help with my four-year-old twins and Monica's four-year-old, but there was only so much they could do. I refused to bog them down and burden them with the responsibility of taking care of a child at their age when all they wanted to do was have fun and be kids themselves. Janice and Jordan didn't know that Junior had a different mom, and it was really hard to tell considering they all looked like James. I mean, Junior had a lot of Monica in his features, but those were definitely James's kids. Where as the other kids looked like a combination of me and James, it was clear that Junior had a different mother. There was no denying it. So, I just left that bit of information on a need-to-know basis.

I wanted all of this Monica business to stop, and I hated that every time I walked into my house I could still smell her scent. When I walked into my kitchen I could almost see her perched on top of the table while James and Sheila joined her in a twisted orgy that almost got their asses killed. When I went into my bedroom my clit pulsated as I thought about the things she did to me. I could feel her hands touching me in places that James knew nothing about, and when I closed my eyes real tight I could almost feel her warm tongue kissing my nipples and trailing kisses down my stomach. Hell, on a good day in my imagination I would have her and the twins all at the same time. A pure mess, I tell you.

I had to get out of that house or I would've gone crazy, and so we did. We packed up and moved and I threatened James to not tell Monica a damn thing. I promised him I would set up a post office box so that her mail would be directed there, but I never did. We didn't need shit from her. The only reason she would need to know where I lived was to come and get her damn son. You can judge me all you want, but until you've walked in my shoes and lived my life for me there is nothing to discuss. I don't care how you feel about it. Point blank period.

I had been dialing James's cell phone for the past hour and it went from ringing to going straight to voice mail. That just pissed me off even more because that meant he was definitely ignoring my calls. The same damn way he had been ignoring his responsibilities for the last two years, but I had something for his ass though. Payback is a mutha, and when it all came down to it I would be cracking the hell up in the end.

That's exactly why when he got paid I made sure to only leave him enough money in his account to get gas and maybe buy lunch if I felt like being nice that week. Occasionally I would let him go down on me, but as soon as I was pleased and able to release he just ended up beating off in the bathroom to relieve himself. I did that shit to him every time, and his simple-ass constantly fell for it. It would be a cold day in hell before he would warm his dick with my walls again, and the sooner he realized it the better off we would be.

That's not to say that I didn't get it from elsewhere. Best believe I had a lineup if ever I needed a tune-up. I didn't have time to be fooling around with a maybe from James when I could get a definite from any given person on my contact list. Male and female included. My time was precious, and I didn't have a lot of it to be wasting on nonsense.

Most of the time I would get a quickie in my office from the secretary on the second floor in my office building before I left for the day, or I would meet up with any given person at this little hotel I found over in Mount Laurel, New Jersey when I really wanted to dip off and enjoy myself a little before it was time to pick up the kids. James never knew about it, and I just kept all that on the inside, hoping all of my secrets wouldn't just bust out one day. You can't keep everything in the dark for too long. It's just designed to come out in the light eventually. That's just the way of the world.

I had this little issue with those twins from Bally Total Fitness that I couldn't shake as well. They wanted a paternity test to see which one of them was the dad, but I wanted to leave well enough alone. I didn't bother either of them for child support so what was the big deal? It was a one-night stand, for heaven's sake. There was no need to go any further. Anything that happened after that was on me, and those were James's kids. All five of them. I didn't want nor did I need to prove anything otherwise. I thought I had gotten away with it until Monica wrote that letter, and even though James didn't deny Janice or Jordan, he had to think in the back of his mind that there's a possibility that they may have belonged to another man.

He did have a kid outside the marriage, but it's not the same thing as what I did, and my love for him wouldn't allow us to go through that kind of pain. Yeah, I still loved him, although the way we acted toward each other now you wouldn't think so. He just got on my nerves so bad sometimes. We had a lot of work to do, and had strained so far apart that neither of us really knew the first step to bring this thing back together. At this point did I really want to? Did
we
really want to? Was there anything to come back to?

After Monica wrote that letter to James telling him about the twins I had the threesome with to get back at him I wasn't sure where this thing with us was going to go. Dudes run they mouth too much though, and can't never keep nothing to themselves. A woman will cheat forever and never say a word. A man wouldn't even be out the pussy good before he ran running his mouth to anyone who would listen.

James didn't really react as bad as I thought he would. He could have very well just packed his stuff and rolled out, but guys will be miserable just for the sake of not wanting to pay child support. That was exactly why I ate his check up every time. I told him there was no truth to the letter, and at the time he seemed to believe me, but my gut told me that he really didn't. I guess he figured since he had done so much dirt himself he couldn't rightly crucify me for my shit, but he just never let it go. That's part of the reason why we were where we were in our marriage now, and another thing added to the list of why I hated Monica's simple ass.

The rain was coming down harder and I felt myself hydroplaning as I cut through small streets to avoid the end of rush-hour traffic on the expressway. My wiper blades weren't doing shit against the amounts of water that were beating down on my car, like the elements were angry at the decisions I'd made. I told myself to slow down when I slid through a stop sign and almost caused a major pileup a few blocks back. The kids looked scared and helpless, and I knew I would have to deal with my issue with James at a later date. The first thing I needed to do was get everyone home safely.

I called his phone again and this time he answered, but all I could hear was loud music in the background. I was steadily saying hello, but all I heard was a bunch of females laughing, and then the phone call disconnected. When I called back again the phone went straight to voice mail once again.

I was beyond pissed, and it took everything in me not to drive around the city and look for him so that I could string him up by his testicles and dangle him from a utility pole. He made me so sick! This weather was unbearable, and this twenty-three-degree temperature did not make January feel inviting, letting me know that 2008 just may be a difficult year to get through. I needed to make it home because the wind was starting to whip up something serious, and the rain started turning into sleet as we drove. I could see the fear in their eyes, and I knew it was time to wrap it up until I got to a safe place. The combination of the horrible weather and my reckless driving wasn't a comfort to anyone, considering that the car had already almost failed to stop and I even fishtailed a little a few times. Normally the car would be full of chatter from the kids talking among each other about their day, but on this day there was a deathly silence surrounding us.

I tried getting through to James a few more times as I half watched the road and typed him a misspelled text message at the same time. The angrier I got, the harder I pressed on the gas. I wanted him dead, and just as I sent him the message I looked up to see through the rearview Junior pulling at Janice's ponytail.

“Sit y'all asses back or I'll—”

Before I could finish my sentence I realized that I had pressed the brake, but the car was still moving. Everything seemed like slow motion as I slid out into the intersection and my Jeep was hit first on the passenger's side by a Hummer that was taking its turn at the stop sign, and then by another Jeep that collided into my driver's side in the back, causing us to spin out of control. I couldn't control the wheel.

The Jeep did a few quick spins, and all I remembered hearing was the collective scream from my kids as we crashed against the telephone pole. I hit my head so hard on the steering wheel right before it crushed me in, and I was seeing stars. My legs felt jammed under the dashboard, and the wheel was pressed so tight against my chest I could barely breathe. I heard the kids crying loudly, but then everything started to sound muted and all I saw was black.