Mystery of the Vanished Prince (4 page)

“That’s enough, Ern,” said Fatty, hastily, seeing a storm about to blow up between the ice-cream man and Ern. “Come on - let’s take our ice-creams a bit farther down the path, where it’s cooler.”

The ice-cream man remarked that he knew where he could get Ern a clown’s hat to go with his umbrella, but Ern was not allowed to reply. Fatty hustled him away, and his umbrella caught in the low-swinging branches of a tree. Bets had to stand still while poor Ern struggled to release it, his ears burning at a few more remarks from the witty ice-cream man.

They went on at last again, holding the freezing ice-cream cartons in their hands. Sid had one too, and every one was curious to see how he could manage to eat an ice-cream with his mouth still full of toffee. His toffee slab seemed unending. So far as any one knew he still had the same piece in his mouth.

And then someone came cycling round the corner of the path - someone burly and red-faced, with a dark-blue uniform and helmet.

“It’s Uncle!” gasped Ern, in a panic.

“Goon!” said Fatty. “Old Clear-Orf! Well, well - this is going to be funny!”

Buster recognized Goon with delight. He tore up to his bicycle and jumped at his feet. Goon got off at once and kicked out at the excited little Scottie.

“Clear-Orf!” he said, angrily. “Here, you, call this dog orf, or I’ll kick him into the river. Proper little pest, he is.”

“Hallo, Mr. Goon,” said Fatty, politely. “I haven’t seen you for a very long time. Come here, Buster. Heel, sir, heel!”

Buster ran to Fatty reluctantly, and Mr. Goon had time to take in the whole group. He gaped. What a lot of foreigners - and Ern with them. Ern! He didn’t even know Ern was in the district. He advanced on Ern, who almost dropped the huge umbrella he was still holding.

“Ern! What you doing here?” thundered Mr. Goon. “And bless me, if it isn’t Sid and Perce too! What’s all this about? And what’s the umbrella for?”

“Uncle! Don’t shout like that,” begged Ern. “This is a princess here, and that’s why I’m holding an umbrella over her. It’s a State Umbrella. Don’t you know one when you see one?”

Mr. Goon didn’t even know a golf umbrella when he saw one, much less a State one. He stared at Ern disbelievingly. Era went on in an urgent voice.

“Uncle, you’ve heard of Prince Bongawah, who’s staying in one of the camps, up on the hills over there, haven’t you? Well, this is his sister, Princess Bongawee - and that’s her cousin - and…”

Goon was amazed. He looked at Bets, wrapped closely and gracefully in her robes, the hood partly drawn across her sunburnt face. Her face seemed faintly familiar to him, but he didn’t for one moment think of Bets Hilton. She stood there rather haughtily, a little scared, without saying a single word.

Goon cleared his throat. He looked at Fatty, who said nothing. “They were visiting Fatty,” explained Ern. “And of course, I told them about Prince Bongawah, who’s camping in the field next to us, Uncle - and I’d have known this princess was his sister - they’re as like as two peas.”

“But how did you come to be mixed up with them?” asked Goon, suspiciously.

“Your nephew, Ern, came to pay a call on us, that’s all, Mr. Goon,” said Fatty, delighted that Ern should be telling Mr. Goon such a marvellous tale. “And the Princess Bongawee liked Ern, and requested him to hold her - er - her State Umbrella over her. And Ern’s good manners are well known - so here he is.”

Mr. Goon had never had any opinion of Ern’s manners at all. He considered that Ern had none. He stared first at Ern, then at the haughty little Princess, and then at Fatty. Fatty stared back unwinkingly.

“She a real Princess?” asked Mr. Goon, in a confidential aside to Fatty. Before Fatty could answer, Bets spoke in a high little insolent voice that amused Fatty immensely.

“Ikky-oola-potty-wickle-tok,” she said.

“What’s she say?” asked Goon with interest.

“She wants to know if you’re a real policeman,” said Fatty, promptly. “What shall I tell her?”

Mr. Goon glared at him. Bets interrupted again. “Ribbly-rookatee, paddly-pool,” she said.

“What does that mean?” asked Mr. Goon. Fatty put on an embarrassed look.

“I don’t like to tell you, Mr. Goon,” he said.

“Why? What’s it matter?” said the policeman, curious.

“Well - it’s rather a personal remark,” said Fatty. “No - I don’t really think I can tell you, Mr. Goon.”

“Go on - you tell me,” said Goon, getting angry.

“Yes - you tell him,” said Ern, delighted at the idea of the Princess saying something rude about his uncle.

“Ar,” put in Sid, unexpectedly. Goon turned on him at once.

“What you interfering for? And what do you mean by standing there with your mouth full in front of royalty? Go and empty your mouth!”

“Ar,” said Sid, in panic.

“It’s toffee, Uncle,” said Ern. “Stick-me-tight toffee. It can’t be spit out.”

Bets went off into a peal of laughter. Then she hurriedly spoke a few more words. “Wonge-bonga-smelly-fiddly-tok.”

“There she goes again,” said poor Goon. “You tell me what she said then, Master Frederick.”

“I can’t possibly,” persisted Fatty, making Goon feel so curious that he could hardly contain himself. His face began to go purple, and his eyes bulged a little. He stared at the little Princess, who giggled again.

“I only say - why he got FROG face!” said Bets, in a very foreign voice. Everyone immediately exploded, with the exception of poor Sid who couldn’t get his mouth open.

Mr. Goon exploded too, but in a different way. He was very angry. He took a step forward and Ern instinctively lowered the umbrella and put its vast circle just in front of Mr. Goon’s nose.

“Don’t you hurt the Princess, Uncle,” came Ern’s quavering voice from behind the huge umbrella. Then Buster joined in the fun again, and flew at Mr. Goon’s ankles, snapping very deftly at the bicycle clips that held his trousers tightly round his legs.

Mr. Goon roared in anger. “I’ll report that dog! I’ll report you too, Ern - trying to stick that umbrella into me!”

“Mr. Goon, I hope you won’t upset the relations of the British with the Tetaruans,” said Fatty, solemnly. “We don’t want the Prince of Tetarua complaining that you have frightened his sister. After all, Teturua is a friendly State. If the Prime Minister had an incident like this reported to him by an angry Prince, there might be…”

Mr. Goon didn’t stay to listen to any more. He knew when he was defeated. He didn’t know anything about the Tetaruans, but he did know that little States were very touchy nowadays, and he was rather horrified to hear what Fatty said. He got on his bicycle, aimed a last kick at Buster, and sailed away in a purple dignity.

“I’ll have something more to say to you, young Ern,” he shouted, as he pedalled past, with Buster at his back-wheel, making him wobble almost into the river. “I’ll come up to your camp, you see if I don’t!”

He left Ern petrified by his threat, but still valiantly holding the umbrella. Every one collapsed weakly on the grass, and even Sid managed to open his mouth wide enough to let out a sudden guffaw.

“Our poor ice-creams,” said Bets, suddenly relapsing into English, and looking at the ice-cream in her carton. It was like custard. Nobody noticed she was speaking English except Fatty, who gave her a little frown.

They licked up their ice-creams with difficulty. Sid managed to pour his somehow into his mouth, between his stuck teeth. Fatty grinned round.

“A most creditable performance!” he said. “Princess, my congratulations!”

“Binga-bonga-banga,” said Bets, graciously.

“What about fresh ice-creams?” said Fatty. But Ern, Perce, and Sid couldn’t stay. Ern had heard the church clock striking twelve, and as he had been promised a camp dinner by the caravanners next to his tent, if he got back at half-past twelve, he felt impelled to go.

He bowed most politely to Bets, and handed the State Umbrella to Fatty. “Pleased to have met you,” said Ern. “I’ll tell your brother about you when next I see him over the hedge. Like as peas in a pod, you are!”

Sid and Perce nodded a good-bye, and then they all went off to get the ferry across the river to the hills on the other side.

“Thank goodness we can talk properly again,” said Larry. “My word, Fatty - what a morning! I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed myself so much!”

Disappearance!

Two days later Fatty, Larry, and Pip all had tremendous shocks. Fatty got down to breakfast before his mother and father, and poured himself out some coffee. He took the two papers they had each morning to his own place, and prepared to enjoy them in peace.

The headlines flared at him, big and black. “Disappearance of a Prince from Camp. Vanishes in the night. Prince Bongawah gone.”

And in Larry’s house, Larry too was reading the same headlines out to Daisy, having found the papers on the front doorstep and brought them in.

In Pip’s house, Pip was, as usual trying to read his father’s newspaper back to front. The back page was never very interesting to Pip, because it was all about horse-racing, golf, and tennis, in none of which he took any interest. Cricket scores were usually in too small print for him to see. So he waited patiently for his father to study the cricket scores himself on the back page, when Pip would be able to read the front page.

And there, staring at him, were some very interesting headlines. “Prince vanishes. Tetarua informed. Boys in camp questioned.”

Pip nudged Bets and nodded his head towards the paper. She read the headlines too. Good gracious! That must be the Prince Bongawah whose sister she had pretended to be. How very extraordinary! Bets thought hard about it. Would it matter her having pretended? No, it couldn’t. They had only done it to play a trick on Ern.

Yet another person was most interested in the disappearance of the young prince. That was Mr. Goon, of course. He also read it in his morning newspaper, and a few minutes later his telephone bell rang, and he had the news from headquarters. He thought rapidly.

“My word - I’ve met the Prince’s sister,” he thought. “If we get hold of her, we might get some news! I’d better get on to the Inspector straightaway.”

He corrected himself. “I should say the Chief Inspector! He’s had promotion again. I’ve never had any. Got enemies, I have, no doubt of that. Keeping a Good Man down, that’s what they are. Wait till I get them!”

He brooded for a few minutes on enemies that prevented promotion, and then rang up headquarters again and asked for the Chief Inspector.

“He’s busy,” said the voice at the other end. “What do you want him for, Goon?”

“Something to do with the Prince Bongawah Disappearance,” said Goon, pompously. “Very interesting.”

“Right. Hold on a minute,” said the voice. Then Goon heard the Chief Inspector’s voice, sharp, confident and a little annoyed.

“What is it, Goon? I’m busy.”

“Sir, it’s about that Prince Bongawah, or whatever his name is,” said Goon, “I’ve met his sister, sir, the little Princess Bongawee. I wondered if any one had thought of questioning her. She might know something about her brother’s disappearance.”

There was a moment’s silence. Then the Chief Inspector’s voice came again, sounding astonished.

“Sister? What sister? This is the first time I’ve heard of her.”

Goon swelled with importance. “Yes, sir. I met her two days ago, sir, with her cousin, who looks after her. And two of her train, sir, all very posh and high and mighty.”

There was another astonished pause. “Is that really you speaking, Goon?” said the Chief Inspector’s voice at last. “This really is so astonishing.”

“Course it’s me speaking, sir,” said Goon, surprised and hurt. “Why shouldn’t it be? I’m just reporting somethink to you, as is my duty. Would you care for me to interview the Princess, sir?”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” said the Chief Inspector. “I must ask a few questions of somebody here. We’ve had no reports of any sister or Princess or cousin! I must find out why.”

Goon waited, feeling pleased to have caused such a commotion, Ha - let Inspector Jenks ask all the questions he liked, he’d have to Ict him, Goon, handle this in the end! That was a bit of luck meeting Fatty with those Tetaruans and their umbrella. A thought struck him. How was it that Fatty knew them?

“Drat that boy!” thought poor Goon. “Here I’ve got a fine bit of investigation in my hands - and I’ve got to say it’s that fat boy that introduced me to the Princess! Then the Inspector will get on to that toad of a boy, and he’ll take the whole matter out of my hands!”

He sat and brooded about this, the telephone receiver stuck to his left car. Then he brightened. He could say that his nephew, Ern, had introduced him. After all, it was Ern who had given him all the details. That was quite true. He needn’t bring Fatty into it at all.

The Chief Inspector’s voice came down the telephone again, making Goon jump.

“Are you there, Goon? Well, I’ve made a few enquiries this end, and nobody seems to know anything about a sister who’s called Princess Bongawee. But seeing that you appear to have met her, I suppose we must enquire into it. How did you meet her?”

“Well, sir - my nephew Ern was with her, and he told me about her and who she was,” said Goon.

“Ern - your nephew Ern! ” said the Inspector, astounded. He remembered the plump, rather spotty, extremely plain nephew of Mr. Goon quite clearly. Hadn’t he been mixed up in another mystery? Oh yes - and had come quite well out of it too, in the end. But Ern! In the company of a Tetaruan Princess! The Inspector wondered again if this telephone call was a hoax. But, no, it couldn’t be. He knew the harsh voice of Mr. Goon’s only too well!

“What was Ern doing with the Princess?” asked the Inspector, at last.

“Well - he was holding a - a State Umbrella over her,” said Mr. Goon, beginning to feel that this tale of his didn’t really sound very credible.

There was another pause. The Inspector swallowed once or twice. Was Goon all right? Had he got a touch of the sun? This tale of a Princess - and Ern - and a State Umbrella sounded nonsense to him. The Inspector simply didn’t know what to make of it at all.

“Look here, Goon,” he said, “this is all very extraordinary - but I suppose there may be something in it if you think it’s important enough to telephone me about. I think I will leave you to contact this - er - Princess, and ask her a few questions. Why she’s here, when she came - what she’s doing, who she’s with, and so on. Go and do that now. I’ll send a man over to check what you find.”