Neighbor Dearest (17 page)

“If I did, I’d break them.”

That gave me butterflies.

“Okay. That’s a good thing, because everything is packed away, so if you didn’t take me in, I’d just be starving and staring at the wall.”

“Ironic. Isn’t that how our friendship started? Because of a wall?”

“Yes, sort of. Technically, it started with you eavesdropping on me.”

“You’re right. It did.”

“Oh, you’re admitting to that now?”

“It was accidental eavesdropping, maybe. I sure as hell learned a lot about you really fast.”

“Tell me again what you learned?”

“That you were a lot more than the bitchy dog complainer next door. I figured out that you were a sensitive, caring person who’d had her heart broken, a person who loves and trusts with her whole heart…a person who needs to be handled with care, even though you’d deny that. Basically, I knew you were amazing long before we ever became friends.”

I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying. Taking a deep breath, I let his words sink in.

This was really happening. I was really moving.

“Well…
friend
…how about you make me a pizza tonight. I’ll bring a movie. Should I come by around six?”

“Alright. We’ll be waiting.”

With a heavy heart, I killed some time cleaning the empty living space before it was time to head to Damien’s. The Lysol smell was giving me a headache.

When six o’clock finally rolled around, I grabbed a bottle of wine and the DVD and headed over to his apartment.

Damien opened the door, and a waft of marinara sauce greeted me, along with the scent of his cologne. I concluded that those two smells were basically like home to me.
This
was home—not the empty apartment next door but right here with him and these dogs.

Dudley and Drewfus immediately ran to me. Poor Drewfus still had a limp.

“You guys are so clean and soft! Your daddy takes really good care of you.”

“I’m not saying anything to them about you know what,” Damien said. “I swear they can understand English. They’d probably freak out.”

It made me sad that the dogs would soon realize I wasn’t right next door anymore. Out of everything, thinking about their reaction made me feel the most guilty.

“I think that’s better, even though they’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“I’ll deal with it when I have to.”

Handing him the DVD, I smirked. “I brought a movie.”

He examined the case. “
The Omen.
I should have known you’d get me back at some point.”

“It’s only fair. You made me watch my autobiography, so tonight we get to watch yours.”

He rolled his eyes. “Can’t wait.” Walking over to the counter, he said, “Pizza’s ready. You want mushroom and olive or pepperoni?”

“I’ll take both, one of each.”

He flashed me a mischievous smile. “One of each, huh? Going back to your ménage roots?”

“I’ll never live that down, will I? Why does being here tonight seem like déjà vu? You making pizza…and teasing me about wanting to be double teamed?”

He rolled the pizza cutter over the pie. “So, pervy girl, why did you tell your parents you’re moving?”

“I haven’t said anything about you if that’s what you’re wondering. I just told them I found a better apartment.”

“But it’s
not
a better apartment.”

My eyes widened. “You’ve seen it?”

“Yeah. I went to check it out, make sure it was safe over there.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“How are you gonna explain to them why you’re moving to a crappier place?”

“They’re not going to question it. I’ll just tell them I have my reasons.”

“Right before your dad looks me in the eye, sees through this, and kicks my ass,” he said before placing my two slices of pizza in front of me.

“It’ll be fine. My parents are really nice. You’ll like them.” I took a bite then asked, “Do you have people coming to look at my apartment?”

“Not yet. I’m gonna throw a fresh coat of paint on the walls after you leave and air out all the Chelsea cooties before I list it.” He winked.

“Very funny. Well, whoever it is, they’ll be lucky to be living here. You really do make this a nice, clean and safe environment.”

“Right. Great place…just don’t get emotionally involved with the landlord and everything is cool, right?” When I remained silent, he said, “I’m sorry. Enough about the move.”

I changed the subject. “How is your mother?”

“She’s good, actually. I’m picking her up next weekend to spend the day here. The dogs will be with Jenna, so that will work out. Ty and I will take her out for lunch.”

“Oh, good. I’m glad to hear that.” I’d always wondered what Damien’s mother was like. “Do you have a picture of her?”

“My mom?”

“Yes. I would love to know what she looks like.”

“Yeah. I do. Hang on.”

Damien pulled out his phone and began flipping through the camera roll. He smiled then turned it toward me. “This was last summer.”

Damien’s mother was standing between her two sons in front of a massive water fountain. She had shoulder-length, chestnut brown hair, and aside from some wrinkles around her eyes, looked quite young. I could see a lot of Damien in her.

“You look just like her.”

“Yeah. People say that.”

“How old is she?”

“Well, she was twenty when she had me, so she’s forty-seven.”

“She’s beautiful. What’s her name?”

“Monica.”

“Pretty.”

“She’d like you.”

“How do you know?”

“You have a pulse.”

“What?”

“Just kidding. I said that because I don’t bring girls home.”

“Ah.”

“Well, seriously, she’d like you because she can read people really well, and she’d think you were sweet.”

“Did she ever meet Jenna?”

“Yes. She did meet her a few times, wasn’t crazy about her, thought she was too loud.”

I laughed. “Too loud?”

“Yes. My mother is kind of a quiet person, very introspective. She’s more of a listener than a talker.”

“Well, she’s lucky to have two good sons looking after her.”

Damien and I talked for a while and finished off both pizzas. I sipped my wine and tried to enjoy these moments with him, unsure if anything would be the same between us after tomorrow.

After dinner, the Double Ds joined us on the couch. There was one dog on each side of me, serving as a welcome buffer between Damien and me. We started watching
The Omen
, which was seriously one of the freakiest films I had ever seen. I’d always remembered hearing about the character of Damien but never actually sat through the movie.

It was dark in the living room, except for the lights coming from the television. I turned to him. “I’m sorry. Your autobiography is way more terrifying than mine ever was.”

“You think?”

The weirdest part about the movie was the inclusion of Hellhounds, dogs that assisted Damien in his acts of evil. They were the same exact breed as The Double Ds.

Unable to keep from laughing, I said, “I swear to God, I had no clue that there were rottweilers in this movie.”

He pretended to be angry. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Yup. I was around in the seventies orchestrating a movie to haunt you with years later.”

“How freaky is this shit, though?” He looked over at the dogs. “Look at them. They don’t seem amused by their cameo, either.”

“I don’t blame them. I’m definitely going to have nightmares tonight.”

His phone chimed, and he looked down to check it. I wondered if it was a woman but curbed my temptation to ask. My reaction served as a reminder of exactly why I was moving.

We stuck it out until the end of
The Omen.
The dogs had given up on the movie and were hiding out in the other room. It was getting late.

“So, what next?” Damien asked. “Want to watch something else?”

“I should probably go back. We have a long day tomorrow.”

“This is it? Your last night here, and we ended it watching that crazy shit? That’s what you’re gonna remember me by? Damien and his Hellhounds?”

“You act like you won’t see me anymore.”

“Honestly, I kind of do feel like that. When you live right next door to someone, it’s effortless. But you’ll be across town, and realistically, it’s only a matter of time before things change. You’ll meet someone. He’s not gonna want you hanging out with me.”

Whenever he would pawn me off to other men with his words, it stung. I noticed how quiet it was all of a sudden with the dogs in the other room and the television off. I also noticed Damien staring at the bruise he’d given me on my neck. Shivers ran through me when he briefly grazed the area with his fingertip.

“You should really cover this up tomorrow.”

It was the first time he’d acknowledged it.

“Why?”

“Your parents are gonna wonder where it came from.”

“I’ll just tell them you attacked my neck in a women’s bathroom.”

Damien didn’t seem amused. “No, you won’t.”

“I was just joking.”

“Seriously, you should cover it up.”

“You don’t like looking at it?”

When he ran his thumb over it, my breathing quickened. The brief touch ignited awareness throughout my body. What he said next totally undid me.

“I
love
looking at it. Too much.”

We just stared at each other for a bit. His ears were red, and I could just sense that he was burning up inside as much as I was. I wanted so badly for him to kiss me, to touch me, to suck on every inch of my body. I had never wanted him more than I’d wanted him in that moment. The fact that I was moving tomorrow did nothing to curb the fire inside of me.

“What if that woman hadn’t walked in on us, Damien?” I whispered.

That question had been haunting me.

It took him a while to answer before he said, “I don’t know, Chelsea. I would’ve been fucked.”

“Technically,
I
would have been fucked.”

He cracked a smile and looked at me like he didn’t know whether he wanted to kiss me or strangle me.

I wanted to scream out that I knew he was hiding something. I wanted to scream out that whatever it was, it didn’t matter to me because there was nothing worse than losing him. But I couldn’t betray his brother, who’d shared that information with me in confidence. Feeling like I was going to burst, I needed to get it off my chest.

“I have to say something, because I don’t think we’re gonna have much time alone tomorrow, and I just want to set the record straight. And I swear, Damien, this is the last you’re gonna hear me speak of it.”

He backed away from me a bit. “Alright.”

“You say that I’ll forget you once I leave, but I can guarantee you that won’t be true. I might move on, yes, because you’ve left me no choice. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re in my heart, and I can’t get you out. I don’t know if I want to. Being with you is the only thing that
feels
right. It would be one thing if you just didn’t have feelings for me, but if you’re telling yourself that I am better off without you, then you’re just wrong. If the emptiness I’m feeling tonight is any indication, I am definitely
not
better off.”

“Chel—”

“Let me finish. When I first met you, I was in the worst place. The
worst
. The ironic thing is, even if you choose to disappear from my life after tomorrow, you are the reason that I now have the strength to handle it—to handle anything. I will always be indebted to you for bringing me out of that funk, for showing me that I deserved better, for being a friend and for being honest with me even when it hurt. I’m stronger now than I was, and I’m stronger than you think. Anything you ever have to say…I can handle the truth, Damien. That’s it. I’ve said
my
truth.”

My statement was a bit risky. It sort of implied that I knew he was hiding something when technically, that conversation with Tyler “never happened,” but I needed to say it.

“I hear you,” he simply said.

“On that note, I should try to get some sleep.” I hopped up from the couch. “Big day tomorrow.”

He followed close behind me as I walked toward the door. It seemed like either he didn’t want me to leave or that he was readying to say something. He never did. He just stood at the doorway with a look in his eyes that seemed to carry the weight of a thousand unsaid words. I didn’t know if he’d ever allow himself to set them free. In the meantime, I needed to move on with my life.

I guess you could say I was throwing in the towel. But in a sense, it felt more like I was giving it to him, hoping he’d hand it back someday.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MOVING ON

Sleep was impossible that night.

Somehow, now that moving day was here, it seemed more and more like leaving was the wrong decision. There was no going back. My belongings were boxed away, and I was trying to mentally pack away my feelings along with my possessions. I had to keep reminding myself that, ultimately, Damien wasn’t fighting for me to stay. A part of him wanted this scenario, too, because it somehow made his life easier if I were gone.

The toaster oven that he had given me sat unplugged on the counter. I decided to take it next door to return it.

With disheveled hair and red eyes, Damien looked like he’d also had a rough night. His muscles were busting through a form-fitting, blue t-shirt. “What are you doing?” he said, his voice raspy from sleep.

“Returning this.”

“Are you kidding?”

“No, it’s yours.”

“Keep it, Chelsea.”

“What if you need to toast something? It won’t be right next door anymore.”

“I’ll live.”

“I really would prefer you take it back.”

“Are we seriously arguing about a fucking toaster right now? Keep it, alright? Kind of like a memento.”

Adjusting my grip on it, I conceded. “Alright. Since you put it that way.”

“Go put it back, then get your ass back here for some breakfast with us.”

We ate quietly, neither of us bringing up the subject of what was happening today. Damien would be dropping the dogs off at Jenna’s after we ate, so that he could spend the day helping me move. We had agreed that I wouldn’t actually say goodbye to the animals, that I would simply treat it like any other day. Well, that was ideal in theory, but when I got up to leave, they followed me to the door, and I could have sworn it was like they knew. They usually didn’t let me leave without a lick fest, but this time it lasted longer. They also let me hug them, whereas normally they were too jumpy for an embrace. The Double Ds definitely sensed something.