Neighbor Dearest (18 page)

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I refused to look at Damien as I made my way back to my apartment to wait for my parents. I also refused to look out the window at Damien walking the dogs through the courtyard because it would make me cry all over again. I had to pull myself together before my parents got here.

***

It was a cloudy day, and that seemed fitting. The fact that it was cooler out also helped justify my wearing a turtleneck to hide my hickey.

My parents had just arrived. Since Damien went to pick up the U-Haul truck, they hadn’t met him yet.

My mother wrapped a vase in some bubble wrap. “You know we love seeing you, but why exactly are we doing all of this today? This apartment is absolutely beautiful. Why would you leave?”

There was no way I was going to get into everything with them, so I lied, “I just needed a change of scenery.”

Dad chuckled. “Seems like a lot of effort for a change of scenery.”

“I realize that. Thank you again for coming to help me.”

My mother examined my face. “Are you okay? You don’t look right.”

“I’m good. I’m just a little tired, didn’t get much sleep last night.”

She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Were you nervous about the move?”

“Maybe a little, yeah.”

“Well, hopefully when your friend gets here, we can get you settled, so you can have it behind you. Dad’s gonna take us out to dinner to celebrate.”

“That sounds nice.” I smiled.

“What is your friend’s name again?” my father asked.

“Damien. He’s actually the landlord, and he lives next door.”

“Oh. That’s interesting,” he said.

My mother smiled. “Damien…where do I know that name?”

Dad laughed. “Reminds me of that movie,
The Omen
.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Damien said as he entered the room.

“I apologize for my husband’s rudeness.”

“Like father, like daughter. That was exactly what Chelsea said when we first met.” Damien smiled and held out his hand to my mother. “Mrs. Jameson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He turned to Dad. “Mr. Jameson.”

“Call me Hal.”

“Okay, sir.”

Damien looked at me. “I’ve got the truck parked right outside and a couple of dollies out in the hall. I’m gonna see what heavy stuff I can take myself before I need your dad’s help.”

“Okay. Sounds good. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

After he left, my mother said, “He seems nice.”

“He is.” I just kept taping boxes and wouldn’t look her in the eye.

Dad walked toward the door. “I’m gonna go help Damien now. He shouldn’t be doing all of the heavy lifting himself.”

My father and Damien worked together as Mom and I made numerous trips up and down the elevator with all of the smaller items.

After a couple of hours, the truck was fully packed, and it was time to head over to the new place.

My parents got into their Subaru, and Dad punched my new address into his GPS. “Are you riding with us or with Damien?”

“I’ll ride in the truck with him.”

“Alright.” My mother smiled. “Dad wants a coffee. We’re going to stop and get some on our way. You want one?”

“Yeah. I’d love one.”

“How about Damien?”

“No, thank you,” he quickly said.

After my parents drove off, Damien and I were alone for the first time when he asked, “Ready?”

“I’m just gonna go back upstairs one last time. I can’t remember if I checked under the bathroom sink.”

Really, I just wanted to see my place one final time.

“Alright.”

My shoes echoed against the wood floor. The apartment may have been empty, but it was filled with so many memories. I looked out my window to catch a last glimpse of Damien’s mural from this view.

I didn’t think he followed me upstairs until his deep voice echoed behind me. “Did you find anything?”

“Huh?”

“Under the sink.”

“No.” I said, still staring out the window.

“That’s not why you came up here, is it?”

Turning around, I told the truth. “I wanted to look around one last time.”

Damien walked slowly toward me. “You can come back and visit anytime, you know.”

“I know.”

His body was close as we just stared at each other. The silence was deafening. I knew in my heart that nothing would be the same after today. As I breathed in his now familiar and comforting smell, it truly felt like I was leaving home, in some ways even more than when I’d first moved out of my parents’ house the first time.

“We should go,” he whispered. “I don’t want your parents to have to wait for us.”

Inside I was crying, but in reality, at this point, my actual tears were all dried up. I needed to put on my big girl panties and get this show on the road.

“I’m ready.”

The ride was quiet, neither of us saying a word.

When we pulled up to the new building, my parents were waiting outside, sipping their coffees.

My mother handed me a to-go cup. “It might not be as hot as you like it.”

As Damien opened the back of the U-Haul, my father joked, “Now we get to do this all over again.”

Remembering that I didn’t have the key, I said, “I just have to go to the management office. Be right back.”

After verifying my identification, the woman at the desk handed me three keys on a chain. “Here are your keys.”

“Isn’t there just one? Are these duplicates?”

“No. The landlord had some new locks put on your door. So, you’ll actually need three keys, one for each. This one is for the deadbolt, this one is for the padlock, and this one is for the bottom lock.”

“Does every tenant have three? I don’t remember that when I came to see this place.”

“No. It was a special request by a third-party.”

This had Damien written all over it.

As I returned to the truck, I waved the keys. “Three locks?”

Damien laughed guiltily. “When I came to check this place out, I was able to break into your apartment. I had a little chat with your landlord about all of the other violations I happened to notice—nothing that puts you in danger, only stuff I would notice because I’m a building owner myself. Let’s just say, he was happy to add those locks free of charge.”

“You’re nuts.”

“I’m not next door anymore to keep an eye out. I just want you to be safe.”

Mom interrupted, “Is this not a safe neighborhood? It doesn’t seem as nice as Damien’s building.”

“It is pretty safe,” Damien answered. “But with the locks, it’s much safer.”

My father placed his hand on Damien’s shoulder. “Thank you for looking out.”

“No problem. I’m gonna start taking up some of the heavy stuff.”

My mother gave me a confused look. She was picking up on my mood and was starting to suspect something in regards to Damien and me. I could tell she really wanted to talk to me, but she likely wouldn’t have the chance.

Another two hours passed, and we’d finally moved everything inside. While none of the small stuff was put away, all of the big items were situated in their rightful places.

Dad clapped his hands together. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.”

“We were going to go out to dinner, Damien. I hope you’ll join us?” my mother said.

“Only if it’s okay with Chelsea. She might want to badmouth me in peace for turning her apartment into Fort Knox.”

Smacking him playfully, I said, “You’d better be coming.”

“Alright, then.”

Dinner at Hooligan’s Family Style Restaurant started out pretty routine. We each ordered the salad bar, which they were known for, and an entrée. Dad and Damien drank from the same pitcher of Blue Moon beer, while Mom and I shared a bottle of Chardonnay. They listened as I spoke about the latest happenings at the youth center, and Damien told the story of his presentation on Arts Night.

After the waitress cleared our plates, my father decided to start questioning me about the move. That was when things went seriously downhill.

“I have to admit, honey. I was not very impressed with this new place. I love spending time with you, but that was an awful lot of work just to move you to a crappier neighborhood. If there was a legitimate reason, I could see it. It makes me question your judgment a little.”

After downing my wine, I glanced over at Damien.

He was staring at me when he suddenly dropped a bomb. “She’s moving because of me.”

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“What are you talking about?” my mother asked.

“It has nothing to do with the apartment. She’s moving because of me.”

“Damien…” I said in an attempt to get him to stop where this was going.

“Let me explain it to them. They’re your parents. They love you. And I don’t want them questioning your judgment. There is nothing wrong with your judgment.”

He turned to my father. “Your daughter is one of the best people I’ve ever known. She’s become a great friend and has opened her heart to me several times. I care for her deeply, and as you probably figured out, I’m very protective of her. That also means protecting her from me. I just can’t be the kind of man she deserves as a lifelong partner. I’ve had too many moments where I’ve seemed to forget that, because she makes it so damn easy to forget. I was trying so hard not to hurt her like
he
did, but I somehow managed to anyway. She’s moving to protect herself from getting hurt any further.” He turned to me. “I’m so sorry.”

I needed some air. “Excuse me.” My chair scratched the floor as I got up and rushed to the bathroom.

Somehow his being so open in front of my parents, apologizing to me in front of them, gave an unwanted finality to the situation. He wasn’t even trying to pretend that things were great between us anymore, because they weren’t.

This felt like a breakup.

There hadn’t been any actual sex involved in our relationship, but my emotions had been all in since day one.

Damien helping me move.

That speech.

I needed to see the situation tonight for what it was.

Damien was ending it.

After I returned to the table, the rest of the dinner was quiet.

When Damien eventually took off in the empty U-Haul truck, I urged my parents not to pry any further and assured them that I would be okay. They hugged me goodbye and left me alone in my new apartment.

Later that night, sitting on my bed and surrounded by boxes, I got an unwanted housewarming present. It came in the form of an email from the last person I ever expected.

Chelsea,

It took me a while to figure out if I should even send this message, mainly because I just don’t want to upset you. I needed to let you know how good it was to see you at Bad Boy Burger. I’m pretty sure you saw me, but in case you didn’t, it was the day you were sucking face with some dude who had a lower arm tat. I was going to go over and say something, but you seemed a little busy. I’ve lived with a lot of guilt since our breakup. Seeing that you’d moved on with someone else made me truly happy.

I wish you nothing but happiness.

Elec

I wouldn’t write back. The timing of that message was seriously like a sucker punch to the gut.

Shutting my laptop, I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep for the last time, vowing that tomorrow would be the beginning of a new phase of my life.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

STALKER

My sister liked to call me during her meal in between performances.

Jade spoke with her mouth full, “You haven’t heard from him at all in two weeks?”

“No. And I’m telling you, after that speech in front of Mom and Dad, I just knew this was going to happen. It was like he was setting me up perfectly for life without him—apologizing to my parents, putting those locks on the doors. And his mood was just really bizarre and guarded that whole last day. It’s out of sight, out of mind now apparently for him.”

“So, you don’t plan to visit him or call?”

“I’m not going to be the first one to do that, no. It’s like what you were telling me a while back. You didn’t understand why I wouldn’t listen to all of the warnings he gave me. I just kept holding out hope. But the fact that he hasn’t contacted me since that night is really disappointing. I seriously feel like I’m never gonna hear from him again.” It pained me to say those words.

“I can tell you’re trying to be strong about this, but deep down, I know you’re hurting, and I know it’s not easy for you to not call him.”

“I just can’t believe he hasn’t called or texted.”

“It’s probably for the best, you know? I know you wanted to stay friends with the guy. But really…I don’t think you were ever capable of keeping your feelings in check. You needed this space he’s giving you now. On some level, I think he knows that’s really best for you, too.”

“So, what’s my next step?”

“You need to get back on that dating site.”

Even though the thought of that made me cringe, I knew I had to force myself to keep my mind off of Damien. “Actually, there was this guy Mark I was supposed to have gone out with weeks ago. I kept putting it off.”

“Then contact him. You definitely need to get out, but more than that, you need a distraction.”

“Okay. You’re right, even if it’s just to get out of the apartment.”

“You know, you’re not going to get over him overnight.”

“I don’t know if I’ll
ever
get over him. I just have to accept that.”

“Accepting the things you can’t change…now there’s a novel idea.”

“I preach that to the kids all the time. It’s time I started taking my own advice.

***

“I’m so glad we’re finally doing this,” Mark said as he opened the car door to let me out. “I was beginning to think you were totally blowing me off.”

“No. I was busy with the move and all. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression.”

We’d just arrived at the cinema for a nine-forty showing of the new James Bond movie. I figured a crowded theater was a safe place for a first date, although Damien would have scolded me for getting into Mark’s car.