Never Been Loved (19 page)

“Are they single?” I ask.

“Yeah, they are.” Looks like Sera can’t add 2 plus 2.

“They’re not your friends,” I say, and watch her face get mean. The way her lips pull back from her teeth and her eyebrows shoot low on her forehead have my dick getting hard again. I’m going to pass out from the constant north-south game in blood loss. Jesus.

“What the frak do you know? They
are
my friends. Buddies. People I can trust. What does it matter if they have a Y chromosome or not?”

“Are any of your boys gay?” It’s kinda fun poking at the angry little lioness. She’d rip my throat out for sure, but her fierceness in something so inane has my heart tripping its time.

“No. It wouldn’t matter if they were.”

“Baby.” It just comes out without even thinking about it. “No one would just want to be friends with you.”

She laughs, right in my face, like what I’ve said is so damn dumb, it just doesn’t exist in her reality.

“And I’m telling you,
baby
, that they are my friends. Plain and simple. They’ve never put moves on me. Ever.”

I’ve pulled her in with my teasing, and she’s leaned so far forward, arms crossed on the table doing fucking
magnificent
things to her tits.

I want to kiss her, just lean over and kiss her. But there’s a game to be played, and a finesse I need to acquire before I can get her to be mine. Her lips look soft, and she’s doing that parted-mouth thing that’s begging me to kiss her and get my tongue in the mix.

I think for a split second we could be on the same page, only for that
fucking
kid waiter to not even clear his throat, but plant plates in between us.
Asshole
.

Sera’s cheeks have turned a little pink, and I find myself grinning for no reason at all. She digs in, and says around her food, “You know, you can meet the boys, if you want. Matty thinks they’re cool. We can even all go hang out – as friends.”

Christ, I like her eyes on me, watching me cut my food, and pop it in my mouth.
Manners, manners.

“If you think they’re your friends, then fine.” I set down my fork and knife. Pull in a sharp breath. Christ, I feel like a kid. Rejection sucks, no matter how old you are.

“I don’t want to be your friend, Sera. Ever since that first day in the elevator with Aly.” I rushed through the last bit, trying to get past that ugly part of my life. “You’d moved in a couple of days before that.” I look back all those days ago, her wearing that shirt, and reading, of all fucking things.

“You were wearing a custom shirt, something about Ponyboy Curtis? I saw you reading a thick-ass book, and you were reacting to it, freaking out at what was written there. The shirt made me smile. You made me smile. I hadn’t smiled for a long time. You made my day better.”

I’m half afraid I’ll laugh if that piece of chicken panini falls out of her mouth since its wide open in shock. “But you’re with her, Alysha, I mean.”

“Aly... Alysha never reads and she doesn’t wear shirts that only a few people would understand. She’s not like you. Never could be like you.” I catch her pinching herself, and yeah, I get that squeeze in my chest ‘cause I want Sera really fucking bad. “Aly and I had an arrangement that ended. Looks like she’s been talking to my mother.”

“I don’t know why you’re telling me this,” she says. She’s gone quiet and I’m not too sure what that means,

Christ, she’s gonna make me work for it. I can do even better. I grunt. “I’m not with her. I stopped everything I had with her the day after the elevator. When
you
were the one that took me to the hospital and she was nowhere to be found. When
you
were the one that had to take Matty home and watch him overnight.”

She shakes her head slightly, like she’s trying to wake up from a dream. “I did what anyone would have done. I had to help you out. I mean, your mom coulda taken him home, too, but I was cool with it and-”

I can’t take it anymore. I need to touch her.

“Baby, you didn’t have to do any of that. You didn’t have to take Matty home with you, a stranger’s kid. If Aly was my girl like she really wanted to be, she’d have been there, not you.”

“I also happened to find you leaning against the wall.” She pulls away from me, but keeps talking. “It could’ve been her who found you, not me.”

I shovel more food into my mouth ’cause I need to be at my best. Sera can talk circles around me and I know if I let her, I’d do anything she commands me to. I’m enthralled by her graciousness, her sweetness, and how she can be so fucking considerate to a complete stranger.

“Should’ve been her. She was in my apartment when I told her I wasn’t feeling good and needed to get out in the hall for some extra space,” I explain. “I’m not rational when my sugar spikes. I can’t think properly or logically. I just want what I want. And I wanted to get out.”

Sera nods, and I feel like explaining my illness isn’t going to be so hard with her. Invisible weights fall off my shoulders and I can breathe a little easier in what feels like fucking years.

“How long were you waiting out there, in the hall?” My little fierce lioness has got her tiny hands curled into fists, and she’s clenching her jaw so tight I’m afraid she’ll crack a tooth.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Are you fraking kidding me?” she snarls. “You could have died out there! What if I hadn’t come up when I did? What the frak is that?” She stops abruptly and looks anywhere but at me.

I’m... humbled by her concern. I don’t think my own mother gives that much shit about me, yet Sera does. I don’t even try to fight back a smile.

“I’m sorry. I forgot that my volume control’s off.” She stares into her newly replaced glass of water and wraps her hands around it.

“How can someone do that? Just leave you out there?” I watch her mouth pop open and I really, fucking really need to kiss her. “Oh my God, what about Matty? She was there when I yelled out for him? What the fuck was she doing, taking a dump?”

I can’t help it anymore. She’s glorious when she’s pissed, and that it’s on my behalf, well, I feel like I can move the planets out of alignment. I laugh, a full-blown laugh, the kind I used to have when I was a kid before everything went to shit.

“What’s your favourite movie in the whole entire world?” she asks, eyes lighting up with something like mischief. I don’t think I’ve ever been teased this way in my life.

“It would be
The Goonies
. Like I said, Brand was like my idol until I hit puberty. But I like everything Martin Scorsese does. I can watch
The Departed
all day long.” She smiles at that admission and I find myself wanting to tell her all the stupid shit about me if it gets me that smile on a regular basis. “And yours?”

“It’s so hard to choose. I probably have one in every category, then there’s sub-categories and all that. But I’m on a superhero kick right now. But I also watch a lot of British TV. Have you seen
Sherlock
?”

I shake my head. “Nope,” but I end up popping the ‘p’ sound and watch her smile get big and wide. I don’t even know what I did.

“It’ll rock your world. Every single show is pretty much awesome.”

I’d like you to rock my world. All day and all night.

Talking about our favourite movies and shows gets us through the rest of our meal, and Sera orders no dessert, maybe because I can’t have any, but orders a coffee.

“I still haven’t seen
The Avengers
,”
I say, more to see her reaction than anything else. Back when it came out, I was younger, a year in to being a Dad and just bone tired all the time. Come to think of it, I still don’t go out much.

I grin then nearly pass out when she chokes on her coffee.

“That could be on par with never having seen
Star Wars
.” I let my face do the talking for me. “No. No fraking way. What is wrong with you?”

“I have a lot wrong with me, actually.”

She actually sticks her tongue out at me. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Well, looks like you’re going to be borrowing a lot of my DVDs. There are rules to be followed when it comes to my preciousses.”

“Why don’t we watch them together?” I just might still have some game left.

“Friends do that. They watch movies together. It happens,” I say, shrugging.
Don’t scare her off. Let her give you a chance, you asshole. Don’t push her too far.

“This is true,” she says, nervously drinking more of her coffee. “Can you call to see if Matty’s okay?”

I let go of my breath, and fish my phone out of my pocket.
She’s not Aly. She actually likes Matty.

“I was going to call in a bit, but if you really want to know.” I dial Mom’s place, and watch Sera looking at me, waiting to see how the little guy is doing.
I have to be careful with her
. “Hey Mom. Put Matty on the phone, please,” I say once she picks up the line.

“Hunter, we need to discuss what happened here today. Why are you out with that whale? Where is Alysha-”

I don’t let her finish. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later, but I want to speak to the kid.”

“Hunter-”

“Yeah. Have a good night, then.” Mom sighs long and hard just to prove a point. But she gets Matty anyway.

“Hey, little man.”

“Hi Daddy!”

“Did you get a shower? Good. Are you watching a movie?”

“Yup.”

“Which one?”

“Peter Pan! It’s my favourite!”

“Ah, kid, again? All right. We’ll see you soon, okay.”

“Okay. Love you, Daddy!” I’m kicked in the gut when says that to me, every single time.

“Yeah, love you, too. Sera says hi.”

“Oh! Say hi!”

“All right, I’ll tell her. Bye, buddy.” I really fucking like the look on Sera’s face when I end the call. Could be she thinks I’m cute, too.

“Ready to go?” I ask, then try to freeze her with a look when she goes fishing in her purse for what can only be her wallet.

I like that she’s having none of it. “I’m going to pay for what I ate. We’re friends. Friends share the bill. It’s a proven fact. You don’t mess with fact, Hunt.”

Holy fucking shit, her nickname for me goes straight to my dick. How in fuck does she do that?
Say something intelligent, man.

“Not if one friend decided to treat the other one, for you know, looking after him twice, and getting him to the hospital that one time?”

“I... uh...” She’s stumped, and then glares at me. “You can’t use that bloody trick forever! Next time, it’s on me. Got it?”

“Sure.”
Yeah, right.

I grab her hand as we leave the restaurant giving a nod to the waiter kid. We walk towards my car, and I’m almost at the passenger side, ready to open the door for her, when she makes me laugh again.

“You have gone out of friend territory. Please turn back at the slightest convenience,” she says, voice robotic.

I squeeze our interlocked fingers and pull her closer to me. She doesn’t resist.

“Who said I ever wanted to be friends?” I ask.

“I did. I’m pretty sure I did. Yes, I did.” She nods, head bobbing up and down. Christ, do I really make her that nervous? Do I like making her that nervous? “I can’t be with you... like that.”

Ah, fuck. Knew it bro, from the beginning. You can’t land a prime piece like her.

“What’ll it take to convince you, then?” I’ve opened the door for her, but now we’re standing in the space between the car frame and the car parked next to me.

I say what I’ve wanted to do all night long. “A kiss?”

I make the mistake of staring at her mouth for a fraction too long, then look into her eyes. The eyes that look so dark in the evening, but I know they’re made of dark green fire. The eyes that say so many things without her lips moving. She’s a puzzle I haven’t figured out yet since I don’t have all the pieces. I don’t think I’ll ever have all the pieces.

But the way she’s looking at me?
Fuck.

It’s not fair the way she’s gone somewhere in her head, and I’m pretty sure we’re almost getting hot and heavy in the safe space of her brain. I sort of wish I could join her there, too.

Paralyzed, I watch her lick her lips and stare at my mouth with so much longing and intent, my skin starts to tingle. This one, pure look on her face destroys me. She wants me. I know she does.

But I’m not going to push.

“No,” she says, dead serious.

I’m going to have to wait for her to come to me first – even if it kills me.

Chapter 14

I screwed up. Royally fucking screwed up. I jumped the gun.

I don’t know what to say, and I’m not sure what to do.

I crossed a line. I pushed too fast.

What kind of girl wants to deal with your shit all the time anyway? Who wants to be told that you can’t go out yet, ’cause you gotta check your sugar, and Matty’s. Who wants to wait for you to drink a juice before doing anything on the fly? Who wants a kid around either?