Never Been Ready (11 page)

I shook hands with a younger version of the man cooking in the kitchen. Garrett was a few years younger than me, but he looked older than he should for his early twenties. His smile didn't quite make it to his eyes, and he looked permanently tired. But he seemed like a cool guy. He didn't look at Leah when she'd walked in, so he went on the okay list.

I also said, "Hey," to Colin.

He was Logan's best friend, who I had known for a long time. We gave each other a quick handshake, and he updated me on his new role as a father. He pointed across the room to his wife, Ella, who was holding his newborn son, Marshall.

I didn't know the other dude, Ian, a doctor who worked at the same hospital as Logan. After being introduced to Ian, I found his eyes following Leah as she moved around the kitchen while gathering dishes and plates for Clare's mom. I immediately didn't like him much.

"Oh, hey, Ian! I didn't know you were going to be here!" Leah said, catching the fucker as he watched her.

Apparently, they knew each other.

"Yeah, Logan took pity on the divorcé and invited me over. My first year single," he said, holding up his bare ring finger as proof.

Well, isn't that swell?

I made a mental note to give Logan an ass kicking for inviting the newly single doctor to the party. I'd wait until he was healthy though. Kicking the ass of a sick dude was just wrong.

"That's right. I'm sorry. I heard about you and Karen. How are you doing?" Leah asked sweetly.

He leaned in closer —
the loser
—and said, "Well, I'm doing a hell of a lot better now."

Leah gave a short laugh and slapped him on the arm before moving away to do something else in the kitchen. I had to restrain myself from planting my fist in the man’s face. Possessiveness like I'd never felt before flooded my system, and I had to look away, fearful my death stare would actually cause bodily harm to the guy.  After a while, dinner was set, and we all gathered around the various tables arranged in the house. There were so many people that card tables had been set up throughout several rooms to accommodate everyone. As luck would have it, Leah and I ended up sharing a table with our good friend, Dr. Ian. It turned out that Ian was an OB-GYN who worked with Leah, which is how they knew each other. Knowing he got to see the professional side of Leah, a part of her I'd never seen before, pissed me off. I didn't know why. Jealousy was a new thing for me.

"Leah, I heard you are volunteering in a nursing home now? Is there anything you don't do?" Ian asked.

He looked at me as if he were trying to gauge my reaction to this new piece of information.
Did I know Leah was doing this? No. Did it surprise me? No
. In the short time I'd known Leah, I had quickly figured out that she was one of the most selfless people I knew. She'd rush over to help her best friend at a moment's notice and check on her elderly neighbor during the day. She didn't do it for attention or praise. It was just who she was.

"So, what is it that you do, Declan?" Dr. Ian asked as we dug into the mounds of food scattered across the table.

Clare and Logan helped their daughter cut up her turkey while baskets of bread and side dishes were passed around. There was enough food to feed the entire U.S. Army.

Leah handed me the basket of rolls as I gave Ian a hard stare.

"I'm an actor and a producer," I answered.

"Around here?" he asked with a bit of amusement.

He was sizing me up since he had seen Leah and I come in together. He heard actor, and he figured I was a just a second-rate struggling loser. I gave him a smile right back as I took the time to butter my roll before answering.

Hold on to your seat, Dr. Pussy. Shit is about to get real.

"Oh no, Hollywood. I'm here on location, starring in a film that's shooting here. Surely, you've heard about it?" I asked casually while grabbing the bowl of mashed potatoes.

He gaped at me, suddenly putting two and two together.

That's right, asshole.

"You're Declan James!" he announced. "I saw you in
Invisible
. It was brilliant."

"Thank you," I said honestly. It was always nice to receive a compliment —even from an asshat trying to make moves on my date.

"So, Leah, dating a movie star, huh? That's...amazing!" he said with a bit of jealously. "I imagine you get to visit the set all the time. Have you met Tasha Sinclair yet?" he asked.

I looked at Leah as she opened her mouth and then closed it again, unsure what to say.

"We aren't...I mean, I haven't —" she stammered.

"I'm taking her tomorrow. She hasn't been yet because it's been a closed set until tomorrow. I can't wait to introduce her to everyone." I flashed a genuine smile at her before covering her hand with mine.

The look she gave me was priceless, and I thought I heard Clare choke on her water.

Apparently, I was taking Leah to the set with me tomorrow.

That should be interesting.

~Leah~

It was early —like why-did-I-even-bother-going-to-sleep early. When the alarm had gone off this morning, I'd seriously doubted my sanity.

Why am I going to a movie set at four in the morning? Right —because Declan asked me to.

So, the day after Thanksgiving, at the butt crack of dawn, when everyone else was waking up to go stand in ridiculously long lines for stuff they really didn't need, I was sipping coffee in the freezing cold while a bunch of crew members curiously stared at me like I was from another planet. Declan had stepped away for hair and makeup, so I was all alone for the time being.

It was supposed to look like night for the scene they were shooting. When I'd asked why they just didn't film it at night, Declan had said the meteorologists were predicting fog that morning, and the director had switched around the schedule, so they could try and take advantage of the natural beauty, rather than adding it in after. It had sounded logical, but my sleepy brain was not agreeing with logic at that very moment. I was a nurse, so I was supposed to be used to odd hours, but I was pretty sure my body —the smart bitch —knew this was not work, and therefore, it didn't count. So, I was bitch-ass tired.

The weatherman had actually been right for a change. The fog hanging heavy in the air created a very ominous sight as we stood around the historic gravestones. This movie had brought Declan and I back full circle, and we were now at the cemetery we had walked through so many months ago. This was the place where I had seen Declan in his element, and I had known he was more than just some Hollywood poser.

Pulling my thick red peacoat closer to my body, I tried to keep myself from shivering. It was teeth-chattering cold this morning. Winter was slowly winning the battle against fall, and I felt like our autumn days were numbered. Soon, snow would come, and the trees would become bare. It made me a bit sad. I loved autumn in the South. It was breathtaking. Orange, red, and brown leaves would take over the landscape, almost overnight, and the air would finally become cool and crisp after months of suffocating heat.

As I snuggled into my scarf and coat, I felt warm hands encircle my waist.

Declan whispered in my ear, "Are you cold?"

It was such an intimate thing to do, and I felt off balance for a moment, not knowing where this sudden change had come from. All I could do was nod as he pulled my body closer to his. Looking around, I noticed a few of his costars watching us. He must have noticed, too, but he didn't pull away. He stayed there with me in his arms, like he was purposely staking his claim in front of the rest of the crew.

I turned in his arms, needing to see his face, in hopes that I could understand what was going on in his head. Looking in his eyes, I saw heat and desire, but I also saw something deeper.
Affection? Possession?
I wasn't sure, but it gave me chills. It created possibilities in my head that I didn't want to think about. I could not allow myself to hope with Declan. Hoping led to pain, and I knew one thing. I wanted Declan more than I wanted my next breath. Hope could be my ultimate downfall. I didn't think I would survive Declan like I had with Daniel.

"They're ready for me," he said.

I took notice of his makeup and costume for the first time. He looked...good. The Confederate soldier uniform made him look regal and handsome, and the makeup they had applied gave him an aged, worn appearance that fit the time period.

"You can sit over there. Someone from the crew will give you headphones, so you can listen, okay?"

I nodded, but before I could say anything else, he lowered his lips to mine in a slow, lingering kiss that showed anything but urgency. It left me branded. As he walked away, my hand drifted up to my mouth as if I were trying to make sure I was still real. I had been kissed by Declan James too many times to count. He seemed to have quite the obsession for my mouth —among other things.
But that kiss?
That kiss had left me awe-struck. It was earth-shattering in its simplicity, mind-numbing in its intimacy, and completely raw in its emotional depths.

Did I miss something? What had changed?
Before I could take the necessary time to think through Declan's complete turnaround, I was ushered over to a set of chairs and handed large headphones.

Lights went on, and someone yelled, "Quiet on the set!" and "Action!"

Holy shit, I was on a movie set!

The reality of where I was solidified when I saw Declan dressed in his Civil War–era uniform, wandering through the graves. His eyes found mine briefly before he carried on through the foggy graveyard. Declan had told me they were filming the scene where his character came back after the war had ended, only to discover his wife and child had died. The scene they were currently filming had Declan's character, William, visiting their graves after he just heard the terrible news.

He stumbled, looking distraught and disheveled. He looked around from grave to grave with a small candlelight lamp, searching for their graves. Stopping, his eyes found what they were searching for. Falling to his knees in front of the graves, an angry cry tore through his body as he placed a hand on top of the granite slab, and then he began to sob.

I couldn't help it. Even though I knew he was acting, I felt tears trickle down my cheeks in response to the emotions he was expressing. He hadn't even delivered a line yet, and I was completely transfixed on him, mesmerized by his performance.

"I'm so sorry, Anne. I'm so sorry I wasn't here," he said.

He continued to cry and whisper to his wife until a woman entered the scene. Her real name was Sidney Monroe, and she was an amazing actress. She was around my age with chocolate brown skin and a curvy body that most women would kill for. She was cast as the head maid to the wealthy landowner played by Declan. She would also be his love interest after his wife died. That was what made the film so interesting —a wealthy man in the Civil War era falling in love with an emancipated slave in the South. It was beautiful, and I hoped to God Declan got the credit he deserved.

"Mr. Hamilton, sir..." Sidney said. "Mr. Hamilton," she said a bit louder.

Declan looked up, his eyes completely red and bloodshot from the tears he had shed.

"I'm so sorry. I tried, sir. I tried everything I could, but the sickness came so quickly..." She trailed off.

"Leave. Please. Just leave me," he said harshly.

The woman nodded and fled.

The director yelled, "Cut!"

And I was pulled out of my Declan-induced trance. I looked up in time to see Declan jogging toward the director, who was huddled in discussion with the cameraman. Declan glanced my way, giving me an expression that said he'd be with me as soon as possible. I just smiled and gave him a slight nod as he joined the small group. I watched as they looked through the film, pointing at different aspects and pausing to discuss. Both the director and lead cameraman listened to Declan as he provided his opinion and suggestions for the scenes they had moving forward. He was so passionate when he spoke and so in his element as he described his vision.

"Good job, Declan. Really, it was superb. Whatever you were thinking about and focusing on in that scene, harness it. It was the best work I've seen out of you yet," the director said.

The men ended their impromptu meeting, and Declan slowly made his way over to me, giving me time to look him up and down. Even dressed in a Civil War–era uniform, he looked sexy as hell. In fact, I was starting to think we needed to take that costume back to my place and do a little role-playing. I could do my best Scarlett O'Hara impression, and he could sweep me off my delicate Southern belle feet.

Yeah, that could work.

Declan's lips turned up into a sly smile as he closed the gap between us. He was obviously aware of the effect his presence had on me.

Pressing his body close to mine, he angled his mouth against my ear. "They've given us a bit of a break on account of my fabulous acting abilities. And the only thing I can think about right now is getting you into my trailer, out of these clothes, and burying myself deep inside you."