Never Enough (42 page)
The ferry ride was quicker than usual going back to Seattle from Bainbridge, and soon enough they’d arrived at the pub where everyone had gathered.
The pub was sort of dingy, but it was their place. A place where if he was recognized no one would bug him. This place had been a regular part of his life, part of the lives of their circle for years. Gillian belonged there with him on the cracked vinyl booth eating pizza and drinking beer.
Adrian moved through the usual Friday-night crowd, keeping Gillian against him to protect her from being jostled. It was during times like this one where he was reminded of how small she really was. And yet, she managed just fine. He shouldn’t have been concerned; Gillian was a tough woman. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to protect her.
The group was already there at their usual booth near the pool tables.
“Gillian, I really need to go shopping with you so I can find all the cute stuff you wear,” Erin said as she patted the spot next to her in the booth.
“Thank you. I can’t take credit for it though. My friend Daisy gave me this outfit as a gift. She claims it was for my birthday, which is three months away.” She smiled. “Truth is, she just has a great eye and picks stuff up for me, Mary and Jules all the time and it shows up in our houses.”
“I met her at the luncheon at Mary’s house. I really liked her.” Erin indicated the pitcher at her elbow. “Would you like some beer? We just ordered the pizza so that should be out soon. Wings should be out too.”
“Awesome. I’m starving after spending the whole day working.” Adrian took the beer his sister pushed toward him and Gillian sipped hers. He kept an eye on her, but so far she appeared to be having a great time and he was reminded of what his brother had told him about how the rest of them had zero problem with Gillian and how none saw her as holding back.
He was the one who needed to adjust his expectations.
“Now that everyone is here, it’s time to draw straws for the first game.” Brody held up his fist with the sticks.
“We all pick and those four with the longest sticks go first.” Erin explained to Gillian, who nodded and proceeded to pull out a very long stick with a smile.
“When I was young, I’d play snooker down the local.”
“That so?” Adrian examined her and she smirked, sending that jolt straight to his cock.
“It is. I haven’t played in a long time. But there were pool tables at several bars near my old flat in New York, so we’d go play after school frequently.”
Now it was Todd who leaned in. “Hmm, seems we have another shark in the water.”
“They take their pool very seriously.” Ella rolled her eyes. “I prefer to sit back here and watch them play. As they’re all quite nice to look at, I think I’ve got the best seat in the house.”
Gillian laughed. Just a quick, lyrical burst of sound. “Very true. Then I shan’t be disappointed if I don’t get in on the first game.”
“No looking at anyone’s ass but mine. That’s the rules.” Adrian picked his straw and it was a short one. Damn.
“That is so not a rule.” Elise snorted. “That’s an insane rule. Looking at you all is the best part of my night. Hush.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Their playful banter died down as everyone looked to where Ella sat with Cope’s arms around her tight. Both of them smiling.
“It’s early. We only just found out for sure this morning. We haven’t told my family or the Copelands yet and we won’t until I’m past the three-month mark.”
The table erupted with laughter and congratulations and Adrian’s heart, already full of love for these people, expanded a little more. They’d been trying for the last year or so, he knew.
“That’s why you’re drinking water!”
“Yeah.” Ella’s smile told the story of how happy she was with the news. “I just hope I don’t have blood pressure problems like Erin did, because if I have to give up coffee, I don’t know how I’ll get through the day.”
Adrian looked back to Gillian and knew he wanted that with her. Yes, they had Miles, and having a baby before they were settled would be stupid and unwarranted. But after they’d found a way to make living together work, it could happen. He wanted it to happen, damn it.
She caught his gaze and smiled, and he knew she’d been thinking the same thing.
The food arrived and after some beer and wings, the first crew moved to the table and began to play.
“Looks like I’m up.” Gillian stood and Adrian didn’t hide his need to watch her as she moved.
“You watch her like you’re taking notes in your head,” Todd said. “I know the feeling. Sometimes I watch Erin move and I’m sort of mesmerized by it. She has such purpose, your Gillian.”
“She does, doesn’t she? She moves like she’s on her way somewhere. Always. Constantly running lists of things to do in her head, I’d wager. She’s very capable. I love that.”
“It’s hard to love a woman like that though. When you want to do for them. Want to help and they can totally do it without you and you want to do it anyway.” Todd shrugged. It couldn’t be easy to be married to a woman like Erin. She was another capable woman. They all were, he noted, looking around at the women in his life.
Gillian did fit in, even when he was worried she didn’t.
She also seemed to be a pretty decent pool player as she handily ended up in second place right behind Ben, who was nearly impossible to beat anyway.
“Here, take my turn,” Adrian told Erin when Gillian returned to the table. “Pizza’s here and so is my lady.”
Gillian blushed. “You don’t need to. I can eat pizza and chat with everyone here. I don’t need a keeper.”
That warm, slow flood of desire flowed through him.
“Yes, but we already established the fact that I do. Plus if I go play, I can’t eat pizza. Really, it’s the best of both worlds right here.”
“All right.”
They talked and laughed. Ella filled them in on the plans for the nursery in their house. Cope had already started on a bassinet that they’d keep in their room for the first months.
“Hand carving a bassinet? That’s lovely. I can’t imagine a more wonderful gift for him to give you. Other than the baby, of course.” Gillian looked back to Ella, who was nodding.
“You should come to the house sometime for dinner. Bring Miles since he and Andrew seem to have the same insane love of
Burnout: Revenge
. He’s done so much of the woodwork in the house himself. The moldings, banisters, chair rails, window casements. He’s endlessly talented. Give him wood and his tools and look away and suddenly he’s made something beautiful. I’m forever finding little boxes and things he’s made for me.”
Burnout: Revenge
. He’s done so much of the woodwork in the house himself. The moldings, banisters, chair rails, window casements. He’s endlessly talented. Give him wood and his tools and look away and suddenly he’s made something beautiful. I’m forever finding little boxes and things he’s made for me.”
Gillian’s smile warmed. “That’s a lovely thing for a man to do.”
“I totally agree. So tell me about
Carmina Burana
. Elise shared earlier that you’d be playing the piano and how everyone is raving about you.”
Carmina Burana
. Elise shared earlier that you’d be playing the piano and how everyone is raving about you.”
Gillian’s eyes widened. “Really? Oh no, I doubt that.”
Ella’s laugh put Adrian at ease as she patted Gillian’s hand. “She told me that she and the creative director of the choral group went to listen to you and the other pianist and you were amazing.”
“Well, it’s such a grand piece. Really, it’s not me at all. I just play what someone else wrote. Rehearsals will start soon with the choral group. I haven’t done anything like this in a while so I’m quite thrilled about it. Don’t want to get rusty.”
Adrian watched her. Listened to her conversations with the others. Joined in here and there. Maybe it was that when they were all together with Miles, her focus was on him so often she couldn’t really engage as deeply. He didn’t know for sure, but he liked seeing her this way.
Erin finally came back to their table, wearing a grin, and Adrian knew they were all in trouble.
“Karaoke night! Who’s in?”
“Do we have a choice?” Todd’s question was reasonable, but his wife rolled her eyes at him.
“Gillian, I think you and I should go.” Erin held a hand out and Gillian tossed a desperate look back to Adrian.
“Say no if you don’t want to, English. She won’t make you. But I think you should.”
“Only if you go too.”
“Oh ho! The woman knows how to negotiate.” Erin’s pleased grin only made Gillian laugh.
“All right. I’ll go next if you go first.
And
, I get to choose the song.”
And
, I get to choose the song.”
“No. You suck at song choice. You’ll make us sing something stupid and I don’t want to.” Erin shook her head. “I’ll choose and you’ll like it and that is that.” She took Gillian’s hand and tugged her from the booth and both women moved to the small stage where they signed up and looked over the songs. Adrian watched as Gillian shook her head no to a few selections, and then they both nodded and laughed when he assumed they’d made their choice.
Erin slapped a pair of big old sunglasses onto Gillian’s face and appeared to give her a pep talk as Gillian shook her head and appeared to finally relent.
“Fearless woman,” Elise said.
“Fierce,” Adrian corrected, noting how Erin stayed behind her when Gillian went up onto the stage.
And then she fell into the song and he fell into her performance of PJ Harvey’s “Long Snake Moan.”
“Holy shit.” Ben leaned forward as they sang and it became totally obvious what a fucking kick-ass singer Gillian was.
And he had no idea.
Why had she not told him about this?
The piano was one thing, but she could clearly sing circles around a really difficult song. Enough that he could see she had received formal training. Probably at Juilliard.
He was impressed and proud, and at the same time, that he didn’t know stuck in his craw, agitating him.
She didn’t work the stage like Erin would have. Didn’t dance around or act sexy. She simply owned her spot and that song as he sat there struck dumb by it all.
When the song was over she handed the mic off hastily and beat it offstage with Erin chattering at her excitedly.
The group cheered her and she blushed, but there was no hiding the big smile she wore. And he felt like an asshole, but the fact that he hadn’t known she could sing only emphasized how much he didn’t know about her. And how he couldn’t unless she stopped holding back.
Still smiling, she turned to him, holding out the sunglasses. “You can wear them if you’d like. It’s your turn. I think you should sing something like . . . Are you all right?”
“I just had no idea you could sing like that.”
Her open, happy smile faded at his words. “Well, now you do.” Still, she made an effort to keep it light even though she’d shuttered her gaze.
“Why didn’t I? I mean, that’s professional training.” And even as he said it, he wanted to rip the words back. All he craved was to know her and he was fucking it up because he was caught off guard.
She looked from side to side, clearly embarrassed. Erin’s brows flew up as she looked his way.
“Why didn’t you what? Know I went to a performing arts school like we’ve discussed a time or two? The one whose diploma is on the wall of my office where you work a few days a week?”
“You’re up, Adrian. Why don’t you go on and choose a song?” Elise poked him in the middle of his back, extra hard.
“I just don’t get why. English, all these months and you have a seriously rocking voice.”
She licked her lips and got up. He’d hurt her, he saw that. His own lack of control had blown up in her face and she’d been embarrassed in front of others.
“I’m sorry you didn’t know I could sing. Sorry to have upset you.” She licked her lips, nervous, her voice very soft. “I believe I’m off home.” She clutched her coat and her purse and looked to everyone else. “Thanks for letting me join you all tonight.” And she headed for the door without fighting with him like she usually did.
Brody shoved him so hard he fell from the booth. “Go after her, you fucking idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?”
He didn’t know. It had been a stupid, knee-jerk thing and he’d really fucked up. He scrambled to his feet, with the help of Ben, who pushed Adrian toward the exit.
She’d disappeared in the crowd so he headed toward the doors, hoping to cut her off. Her legs were short anyway. He’d catch up and throw himself on her mercy for acting like a dick.
He’d embarrassed her in public, something she hated and he knew it. Guessed some of the reasons why based on what she had told him. Revealed to him when he knew it hurt her to let anyone know what she’d endured and he made her feel like crap.
When she didn’t stand her ground to fight with him, he’d known he’d overreacted and he’d tell her so.
He caught sight of her as she pushed her way out the door, through the crush of people. Suddenly, Brody was at his back, as were the others, everyone yelling her name.
And
shit
, he saw Larry Harold, a local journalist who’d clashed with Adrian in the past. The man hated Adrian and set about digging up dirt on him every time he could. Watched him catch sight of Gillian and smile, heading her way.
shit
, he saw Larry Harold, a local journalist who’d clashed with Adrian in the past. The man hated Adrian and set about digging up dirt on him every time he could. Watched him catch sight of Gillian and smile, heading her way.
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