Never Forever (14 page)

“Whoa, let’s take this down a notch. You just experienced an intense chemical release. Why don’t you save it for later?” he laughs heartily.

Looking into his eyes I ask, “How do you know about this sexual release? Have you experienced it before?”

A playful smile spreads across his face, “Of course, it’s a pretty powerful sensation.”

Gaining some of my strength back, I stand firmly in front of him, “So how many girls have you done this ride with, then?”

“One,” He states blatantly.

My jealousy slowly creeps up, lodging itself in the middle of my throat, “Who was she?”

Picking up my hand he gently kisses the back of it, uttering softly, “A stubborn American named Breanna.” A quick, low laugh rips through him.

Ardently I slap the side of his arm, “That is not funny.”

“I thought so,” he continues laughing, but also adds, “But I do have to admit that on several occasions I would come off of the ride with a high, grab the nearest fit girl and do exactly what you just did, if you know what I mean.”

“On several occasions, huh,” I state disgustedly. “I bet all the girls loved that.”

“I never got any complaints, and I was never slapped for it, either,” he looks at me with narrow, ornery eyes.

A low growl of frustration pushes out of my mouth as I turn to walk away. Gently he tugs on my arm, stopping me, “Breanna, that was actually a huge turn on for me. No one has ever said no to me kissing them, let alone slapped me for it.” Pulling me into him, he wraps his arms tightly around my waist. “I wanted you that night.” His eyes bore deep into mine as his voice lowers to a deep growl, “And I want you now. If we weren’t in a public place…”

We stand here gazing into each other’s eyes as our hearts beat rapidly. The heated adrenaline pulsates between us. Grabbing onto the back of his sweater I pull him firmly against my body. His intense sensual gaze pierces through me, causing my stomach to flip in excitement.

Suddenly a throat clears from behind us, “Callum, you need to take that someplace else,” Harry utters, as he gestures towards the line of people waiting to get on the ride.

Excessive embarrassment flushes over me, stinging my ears. Callum wraps his arm tightly around me. Burying my head into his chest we proceed to walk off the ride. Walking past Harry, Callum utters, “Thanks Harry.”

“Blimey, one of these days you are goin’ to get me canned,” Harry states sarcastically.

“If you haven’t been canned yet I don’t think it will ever happen,” Callum turns towards Harry, giving him a friendly slap on the back. “Take care.”

“You too. And tell your mum I said ‘ello.”

Looking up at Callum’s striking face I see a new side of him, “How do you know him?”

“Harry?” Callum turns back and looks in Harry’s direction. “His parents used to work at the Manor, for my grandparents. They would always bring Harry with them when he was younger. My mum and Harry would run around the grounds playing together. So I guess you would say they were childhood friends.” Leaning down he whispers into my ear, “I actually think they were more than friends, but my grandparents would have never allowed it. High class never mixes with the lower class.”

“That is sad. Why couldn’t they date anyway?” I ask.

“Breanna, things are different here. It is not just about money, it is about position in history and society. My mum comes from a long line of noble privilege, but with that responsibility comes an apparent bloody prison. When I was little, my mum would bring Olivia and me here every time the fair was in town. Secretly I think she would come just to see Harry.”

“If Harry cares about your mum, then why on God’s green earth would he let you do something so dangerous and stupid?” I ask as we walk through the brightly colored rides. The warm setting sun washes over our bodies as we head closer to the water’s edge of the Wye River.

“The first time it happened was by accident. I was young and having a particularly rough day with my father. He has always been tough on me. I don’t know if it is because I am not his blood child, or if he just expects more of me because I am the only boy. After a while that kind of pressure starts to wear on you. I was just a boy when he laid into me, I couldn’t take it so I ran to the fair all by myself. Harry saw how upset I was and allowed me to go on the Chair-O-Plane for free. I was up there crying when I accidentally fell back. As I hung there a feeling of freedom came over me, a place where no one, especially my father, could hurt me.” He lets go of me as he stares out into the river, as if there is something out there. “Harry had to stop the ride; rushing over to me, asking if I was okay. Looking up at him I told him that I was never better, pleading with him to let me do it again. Ever since that day when things get too difficult I come here, letting go and feeling free. ”

Compassion washes through me as I wrap my arms around him, trying to comfort him the best way I know. Tenderly he embraces me, laying his cheek on top of my head. We stand here silently holding on to each other, watching the geese land gently on the water, causing a rippling effect to break the stillness of the water. A beautiful Greek revival building is positioned exquisitely across the wide river. The soft yellow color melts perfectly with the sharp green backdrop. The building is set on a slight hill, lifting it protectively above the water’s edge. The silence flowing around us is only seldom interrupted by an occasional squeal of a goose taking flight. Tenderly I look up at him. Peering down at me he places his hands on either side of my face. A sympathetic wave rolls over us as he passionately kisses me. The world spins around us while time seems to stands still, leaving us to feel the sensation of freedom again. Lost in each other, we allow the tragedies and heartbreak to fully relinquish their control on us.

Pulling his mouth away he whispers softly, “I have never told anybody about that day. Why is it that I can tell you anything?”

“Maybe there was more to me coming here than just following through on my promise. Maybe we were supposed to find each other.”

He bends down and lovingly kisses the top of my head. His voice is low and muffled as he speaks softly, “Breanna, I love you.”

Heat forming in my chest pushes out, causing my skin to tingle and my body to tremble. My heart embraces his words like a lost soul finally finding its way home. My heart was a delicate mess. Now his love is the super glue that is putting me back together with a new strength I never knew existed. Standing up on my tippy-toes I look deep into his eyes, “What did you say?”

A soft smile creeps into the corners of his mouth, “You really are a stubborn American.”

A smile now tickles the corners of my mouth, matching his expression, “And you love that about me.”

His smile dissipates, revealing a soft, sincere expression. Gazing straight into my eyes with his rippling carnal stare, he speaks with a firm conviction, “I do love you, every part of you. I love your past, your heart-ache, your trials, your stubbornness, and most importantly your son. He fills that space within us perfectly. I have never felt this way before.” Gripping his arms tightly around my waist, he lifts me up slightly so that I am fully in his power. “And if you need me to say it again, I will. I will keep telling you until you believe it.”

“I believe you,” placing my hands tenderly on the sides of his face I look into his eyes as tears begin to stream down mine. “I wish you could look into my heart to see just how much I love you.”

Our lips merge into one expression of love as we communicate our desires. Lifting me higher up, I proceed to wrap my legs around his waist as his arms fully support my weight. Taking my entire pent up passion out on his mouth, I kiss him with a new intensity. Growling feverishly, I add, “When are we going back to your home?”

Gripping my butt firmly in his hands he breathlessly responds, “Now.”

Obligation

Heavy amounts of people now flow throughout the fair as we hastily search for Olivia and Noah. The sun has almost set, making it difficult to make out faces. It is taking everything within me to try and fight the surging passion flowing through me while we try to gather Olivia and Noah so that we can leave. Callum rushes through the sea of people, gripping onto my hand, nearly dragging me behind him.

“Can this possibly take any bloody longer? Where can she be?” his voice is riddled with frustration. A sense of urgency laced with an aching need guides his every move. As he turns towards me his eyes reveal the same chemical rush I had experienced earlier, “Maybe we should split up, that way we might be able to find her faster.”

Gripping his hand tightly, reassuring him I utter, “We have all night. We don’t need to panic.”

Holding me tightly against him, I can feel his lean muscles tighten. His abdomen rises and falls quickly against me, causing an anxious sensation to roll through me, “We have had the worst luck. I am not about to let anything stop us this time.”

Looking into his hungry eyes sends chills down my spine, “Okay, we can split up, but it is not like I know where I am going.”

“The fair is not that big. If you find her, go straight to the car. If you haven’t found her within ten minutes, head to the car anyways.” Leaning down he kisses me fervently, “Hurry!”

A slight laugh rolls through me. I have never seen him like this. He is usually cool and confident in his actions, but he is guided by a male pressure I will never understand. Slowly I begin to look around, trying to get my bearings. A sea of young adults now floods the area. Groups of girls, dressed impeccably, attempt to catch the roaming eyes of all the young men. A few of the men’s eyes gaze in my direction with a flirtatious call. Rolling my eyes in response I proceed to walk towards some of the smaller rides, hoping that Olivia is there with Noah. Several comments and cat calls are hollered in my direction as I push my way through the apparent meat market. It is good to know that the same ridiculous and ritualistic mating practices that exist in America are also alive and well here in England. For a brief moment I feel like I am walking on my downtown street during peak construction hours. Lifting my hand I give them the same finger I would give all the construction workers. Just one simple finger can say so much, shutting them up instantly. At what point do boys think a girl will respond to that kind of flirtation and come running to their stupid shouts?

I head straight back to the small teacup ride tucked in the back corner of the fair. This section has mostly young families with small children anxiously awaiting their tiny thrills. Slowly I walk through the crowds, trying to find a spunky blonde wearing a baby carrier. Suddenly from behind me I hear, “Breanna, what are you doing here?”

Turning around I see Olivia’s beaming face. Noah is no longer in the carrier, but is now enveloped securely within her arms, “There you are. Callum and I have been looking for you.”

A questioning gaze streams across her face, “Why? Shouldn’t you two be having fun together?”

An instant jolt of embarrassment washes over me, “Well… um…We kind of want to head back to the house,” I stumble out.

A flash streams across her face, leaving a wide smile in its wake, “Oh, I see. You two do want to have a little fun together, just not here,” a mischievous grin taints her face.

Rolling my eyes I release an audible, disconsolate sigh, “Can we just leave?”

A thick laugh explodes from her mouth. She walks over to me, placing Noah tenderly in my hands, “You might want to feed him first. You don’t want me walking in on you again.” She walks away completely laughing, leaving me standing here mortified. Her laughter intensifies her normal bouncy walk, causing the same gawking boys to whistle and shout in her direction. Completely feeding them with empty hopes, she turns in their direction, blowing them a suggestive kiss. A scuffle ensues over who is going to catch her imaginary kiss. Her vivacious personality handles life’s situations so differently than me, making me almost jealous of her innocence.

Walking down the same path, I pass the identical group of boys. Several of them start whistling. When they notice I am the same one who earlier showed them just what I thought of them, immediately they turn a different direction. A surging wave of fearlessness rushes through me. Slowly I walk over to the young men, still holding Noah tightly under one arm. They are a group of about eight, eighteen to twenty year olds, leaning casually up against a red and blue railing. Instantly several of them stand erect, preparing for a verbal attack. Walking up to the lighter haired boy in the center of the group, I stand just inches away from his face. Gradually I lift my hand, tenderly stroking his bottom lip with the tip of my thumb. His friends remain frozen like statues as he quivers against my touch. Pulling away I give him a quick, playful wink, as I turn around, walking away joyfully. The sighs, growls, and gasps happening behind me send a surge of fulfillment rushing through me, “Hopefully that just made their night,” I utter to Olivia, who is now completely rolling with laughter.

Giving me a slight hug, she states through her laughter, “Now that is using your bloody feminine power. I think that boy is in shock. You did it even holding a baby. You have more sexual power than you realize.”

Walking confidently towards the car I notice that Callum is in the same type of predicament that Olivia and I were in. A swarm of girls are crowding all around him as if he were a movie star. His height towers over all the girls, allowing him to look over at me. His eyes lock onto mine in a disapproving fashion, shaking his head, while his tongue makes a snapping sound. He obviously just saw my playful banter I gave to the frisky bunch of boys. Smiling back at him, I gesture with one of my hands towards his obvious similar situation.

Olivia walks over to the group of girls, completely aware of who they are. She begins hugging several of them as if they are long lost friends. Standing back I watch this exchange of shrieking, excited shrills. Several of the girls position themselves as close to Callum as possible. These are obviously some of Olivia’s school friends. I am sure they must have loved sleeping over as long as Callum was there. Several girls place their hands on Callum’s shoulder, while they exaggeratingly enjoy every word he utters. Enjoying this display I step back to take in more, when suddenly I bump against someone’s firm build. Immediately I turn around to say sorry, when I recoil in fear. Standing right in front of me is Gavin. His large, bulky stature seems to tower over me. A large purple and blue bruise still streams across his face from Callum’s attack. Carefully I back up, holding tightly onto Noah. Swallowing my fear, I grip onto my inner strength, uttering forcefully, “Gavin, what in the hell are you doing here?”

His voice is low like a tiger’s guttural growl, “I saw you with the guys over there and just wanted to say hi, and that I am sorry.”

“Okay, so you said sorry. I think it is best if you leave now,” a firm, flat tone resonates off of my every word as I look back at Callum. He is still surrounded by all the flirting girls pining for his attention. Trying to get him to notice me I peer firmly in his direction. His eyes suddenly catch sight of mine and his relaxed face instantly transforms, noticing who is standing behind me.

Gavin continues talking, adding, “Are you and Callum together now, or is he still planning on keeping his wedding engagement to Emily, like his parents want?” His voice is firm and flat, like he is just conveying the local daily weather report.

Rapidly I snap my head back around, staring bitterly into Gavin’s eyes, “What! What are you talking about?” Rage pours through me, filling my core to the very brim. He has got to be lying. There is no way that Callum is engaged to Emily. He loves me. My ears begin ringing while my body quivers in disbelief. “You are lying! They are not engaged. You are just mad about what happened in the cave.”

“No, I am not. I am not the one lying…Callum is,” his voice is now firm, defending his statement. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Suddenly there is a low growl echoing from behind me, “What in the bloody hell are you doing here? I thought I gave you a warning, Gavin!” Callum’s eyes burn with a heated rage, snapping out his warning. He rushes to my side, poised next to me like a knight ready to defend his heroine. Callum’s body takes on a defensive stance, trying to protect me.

Gavin turns towards Callum, “I am obeying you. I am nowhere near your house.”

My hand trembles violently as I cover my mouth, trying to fight back the nausea. My body begins convulsing from the anger flowing through me. Callum tenderly touches my shoulder, “Are you alright?”

His touch sends a wave of electricity to shoot through me, piercing my heart. A sick upsurge explodes out of me, making me feel like the ‘other woman’ in a sordid love triangle. Swinging my body violently away from his touch I shout, “Is what Gavin is telling me, true?”

The furrow between Callum’s eyes deepens as he stares at me in surprise towards my sudden anger and disgust with him. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Stop lying! Are you and Emily engaged or not?” My voice is strained with emotion. Holding my position I stare deep into Callum’s eyes, searching for the truth.

His eyes widen in fear, while a bolt of shame rushes through him. His body deflates as if all life has been ripped out of him. A heavy sigh rolls from his mouth, taking with it all hope. Looking deep into my eyes he utters softly, “Yes, but I tried to tell you…”

“Shut up! You are a liar.” My tears that I have been keeping at bay begin to freely fall as I stare at him. He has taken everything from me. I allowed my heart to feel again only to have him step on it. The sickness swarming in my head rushes down to my body, causing my legs to go weak. I start to stumble, when suddenly Callum reaches out to help me. Slapping his hands away, I regain my own strength. Noah suddenly starts crying. Gripping tightly onto Noah I attempt to soothe him, while I am barely able to soothe myself. The world around me spins out of control like it is being flushed down a toilet. Rage now resides where there was once love.           

Suddenly Olivia is at our side, trying to calm our overheated situation down, “What is going on here?”

Embracing my anger I turn towards Olivia snapping, “Are you involved in this deceit, also? Here I thought you were my friend, but you were just pimping me out to your ass of a brother.”

“What are you bloody talking about?” Olivia’s voice is thick with disbelief as she steps back in shock.

“Why don’t you ask your brother, the liar, how he can say that he loves me, while at the same time is engaged to Emily?”

Olivia’s expression drops in disbelief. Turning towards Callum she notices his deflated appearance, “What is she talking about? Are you engaged to Emily?” Her eyes plead with him for some kind of explanation.

Callum closes his eyes tightly, trying to fight away some kind of emotion as his shoulders drop in disbelief, “You don’t understand, Olivia. You don’t have the same obligations put on…”

“Stop it Callum! How could you bloody do this to her?” Olivia’s voice cuts through him like a knife slicing into the core. “You love Breanna, not Emily. Why would you do this?”

Ignoring his sister, Callum turns towards me, gently grasping hold of my arm, pleading with his eyes. Callum’s eyes now mirror mine as tears of emotion rip through him, “Breanna, this is between you and me, please can we go somewhere private so I can explain? I really tried to tell you, but…”

A heated jolt of anger surges through my arm where his hand is touching mine. Instantly I jerk my arm away, snapping towards him, “Don’t touch me anymore! I won’t be going anywhere with you.” Tears fill my eyes, making it hard for me to see. Drawing on the same strength I needed to raise myself and to bury my husband with, I gaze up into Callum’s eyes, “I let you in and allowed you to fill a void within me. I trusted you. I loved you, but you have destroyed that. No, I will not let you explain, because I am done.” As I turn to walk away Gavin stands in front of me, stopping me from continuing.

“Breanna, I was completely wrong in what I did to you in the cave. Emily asked me to take you there because Callum is her fiancé. She was afraid that Callum was going to use you. I handled things very po…”

“Stop, Gavin! You are still handling things horribly! Whether you did this by your own choice or under Emily’s command it doesn’t matter, you both have succeeded. You have destroyed me!” Though my voice is tattered I utter my words with conviction. I am an innocent pawn being used and manipulated by Emily and Gavin. His apology is as flat and blank as a piece of white paper.