Never Let Go (10 page)

“But what will you do with it, if you and I…I mean what if later…”

“Are you viewing this as some sort of rejection of you?”

“That’s
ridiculous.”

“It certainly is. If, at some time in the future, things change between us, I hardly think my owning my own condominium will matter. We could live in it, we could rent it or we could sell it…if we wanted to.”

It was virtually impossible to have a sensible conversation when two people were stepping gingerly around the central issue. Justin hadn’t been able to actually mention the word marriage, and she wasn’t about to. The issue was left to float in the air like a ghost, whose presence was felt, but not spoken of.

She thought that their sidestepping of the topic had at least put the matter to rest for the moment, but after dinner Justin made up some flimsy excuse about needing to stop by the hospital and left.

He didn’t bring the condo up again until Friday morning, when he caught her as she was about to run out of the hospital to get to the bank for the closing.

“Sorry about this week. It’s been a little weird around here.”

It certainly had been, but Mallory kept a lid on her sarcasm.

“Rachel says you’re going to move tomorrow. Need any extra help? I’ve got the day off.”

If this was his way of making amends, Mallory wasn’t about to throw it back in his face. “I can always use a strong pair of arms,” she said, letting the innuendo sink into him. It brought the grin she’d hoped for.

“Will any strong arms do?”

She paused thoughtfully. “No, I think I’ve grown accustomed to yours.”

“It’s a good
thing,” he said gruffly. “Now, what time do you need me? I’m on duty tonight, but I should be able to get out of here by 8:00 a.m. at the latest.”

“Come on by my place then, unless you want to get some sleep before you come over.”

“I’ll see how it goes tonight and call you if there’s a problem. If it’s not too busy around here, I should be okay.” He ran a finger along the curve of her jaw, then across her lips. The gesture produced as powerful a sensation as any kiss. “Good luck at the closing.”

“Thanks, Justin,” she said, more grateful than she should have been that he’d accepted the move. Despite her repeated reminders to herself that she was being absurd, his attitude had put a damper on her excitement. Now she could hardly wait to get the whole process started.

Two hours later she had the keys in her hand, a bag of cleaning supplies in her arms and a smile on her face as she walked up the steps to her apartment. When she stepped through the door, she felt astonishingly at peace. She dropped the bag of supplies on the kitchen counter and took a slow tour of the entire apartment, mentally arranging her furniture. She put her favorite woven Mexican carpet in front of the fireplace. In the bedroom, she envisioned her desk sitting beneath the window and her bed covered with a puffy down comforter in bold shades of blue, her favorite color. And everywhere she walked, she envisioned Justin beside her. The image stirred an aching need deep inside, and she wished with all her heart that he were here with her now, consecrating her house with their love.

“This is not getting the
kitchen cleaned or the floors scrubbed,” she chided herself and marched back to the kitchen. In the end, though, the first thing she did was to wash the bay windows in the living room. Kneeling on the padded window seat, she wiped away the layer of grime until the glass sparkled and sunlight poured into the room. She sat down and drew her knees up to her chest and gazed out at the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance and the snip of water she could see closer by. It was the sort of place for daydreams, and she let her mind wander, conjuring up visions of Justin again.

She could imagine him here, could feel the strength of his arms around her, but when it came to more, the picture wavered, then faded away. She saw no marriage, no children, and it was like an awful premonition. A chill raced down her spine. The moment, which had seemed so special, was spoiled by dark thoughts.

“Enough of this,” she said aloud, just to break the gloomy spell. “You have work to do.”

It took her the rest of the afternoon to do the major cleaning of the kitchen and bathrooms, to line the cupboard shelves and tackle the rest of the windows. The living room and bedroom floors needed waxing, but that was something she could do in the morning, while they waited for the furniture to arrive. For now she had to go home and pack up her belongings for the move.

She didn’t pause for a break the rest of the evening, not even for dinner. She ate a sandwich while she put her books into the boxes she hadn’t thrown away after the move from Arizona. At midnight she tumbled into bed, exhausted, only to waken from a dream she couldn’t quite remember. The elusiveness haunted her almost as much as her strange sense of foreboding, a repeat
of the odd sensation that had unnerved her earlier.

After another hour of tossing and turning, she finally gave up on getting any sleep, took a shower and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. She made herself a cup of strong coffee and wandered through the apartment to make sure she’d overlooked none of her own possessions when packing. Finally she sat down on the sofa and within minutes, despite the coffee, she was sound asleep.

Mallory was awakened by the pounding on her door. “Hey, lady, anybody in there?” Justin shouted with far more enthusiasm than was called for at—she glanced at her watch—barely 7:00 a.m. She was still yawning when she opened the door.

He looked disgustingly wide awake for a man who’d been on duty all night. He also had a box of doughnuts in his hand. Mallory reached for them like a drowning woman grasping for a lifeline.

“A kiss first,” he insisted and pulled her close with his free arm. His lips captured and wooed her until she was breathless and thoroughly awake. He studied her with satisfaction. “Much better,” he approved. “For a minute there, I thought you might not make it today. Did you sleep in those clothes?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” she said, grabbing the box and choosing a jelly-filled doughnut. Strawberry jam oozed out her mouth as she bit down and she caught it with her tongue. Justin seemed fascinated by the gesture. “Not that it should make any difference. I wasn’t exactly dressing for style today, anyway.”

“I wasn’t commenting on the state of your clothes, my dear. It was obvious that I woke you, it took you only a minute or so to get to the door, therefore you must have slept in your clothes.”

Mallory glowered at him. “I hate deductive reasoning at this hour.”

“I thought you were
a morning person.”

“I am a morning person, when I have had eight hours of sleep. When I have had virtually no sleep, I am a grouchy person. Ask Rachel. She got a dose of my grumpiness the other day after we spent the night in the hospital cafeteria.”

“I’ll try to remember that, next time I’m tempted to keep you awake too late. Now what needs to be done?”

“Couldn’t you just sit down for five minutes and rest? All that energy is making me nervous.”

“I could sit down,” he said agreeably, perching on the sofa, too close to her. His thigh rested along hers, and heat arced between the two of them. “However, if I stay here in this precise position for very long, one of two things will happen. I will either rip those clothes off your body to the delight of Rachel and her husband, who should be arriving any minute, or I will fall asleep. Remember, I’ve been up all night, too.”

“Good point,” she said. “You can start putting the boxes into the car.”

“I thought you’d see the wisdom of keeping me moving,” he said with a decided trace of disappointment. “Any particular boxes first?”

“Nope. They’re all marked, so it doesn’t matter.”

Rachel and Hal arrived as Justin was taking out the second load of boxes, and the activity began in earnest. To Mallory’s amazement, it took barely an hour to load up all three cars.

“You all go on to the new place,” Rachel suggested. “I’ll stay here and vacuum and do a little of the cleaning. Hal can come back to get me.”

“You’re an angel,” Mallory told her. “As soon as we’ve unloaded everything at the new place, I’ll come back to help.”

“Don’t you dare.
You and Justin start working over there. Hal and I will finish up here and drop the keys off with the rental office.”

Mallory led the caravan to her new apartment. She started up the steps, Justin on her heels. Hal seemed to have found a dozen things to do in the car.

“Why do I feel as though I should be carrying you across the threshold?” Justin said lightly as she turned the key in the lock.

Mallory’s gaze caught with his. “Good question.”

Suddenly he swept her into his arms. “If it feels right, do it, that’s my motto,” he said as he carried her in.

“Since when?” she demanded, laughing. “I think the lack of sleep is playing mind tricks on you.”

“You don’t like the new, improved Justin Whitmore?” He rocked her back and forth in the air as though readying himself to toss her right back out the door.

“I love him. I love him,” she vowed solemnly. The swaying movement stopped, and she was locked against his chest.

“That’s better,” he said softly, his lips coming down to close gently over hers. “Much better.”

Heat swirled through her, and the aching need for Justin that she had felt yesterday came back in a rush. Had it not been for the thought of Hal waiting outside, she would have followed through on that need. Unfortunately, a subtle cough whisked away the last remnant of temptation.

“Okay, you guys, if we get these boxes in here, I’ll be out of your way and you can carry on,” Hal said with a conspiratorial grin. “I’ll even keep Rachel away.”

“A man of taste and discretion,” Justin said approvingly.

Mallory shook her
head. “You’ll never keep Rachel away. The minute she guesses there is something she should be kept away from, she’ll be over here.”

Hal winked at her. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll promise her that afternoon in a motel she’s always hinting around about.”

“Whatever’s going on around here this morning must be catching,” Justin said. “I could probably win a Nobel Prize if I identified and cured it.”

“Never, not if you cured it,” Mallory countered. “This is one disease that should probably spread. A little more love in the world, and we wouldn’t have war.”

Justin quirked an eyebrow at her and went out to start unloading. When it was done, Hal left and Mallory and Justin distributed the boxes to the appropriate rooms.

“What now?” Justin asked.

“I’ll put things away, if you’ll wax the floors.”

He looked at her incredulously. “For this, Hal left us alone?”

She patted his cheek. “I know it’s a sorry substitute for what you had in mind, but if we don’t get it done now, it’ll be that much harder once the furniture’s in place.”

“Not really. Once the furniture’s in, there’ll be that much less floor to wax.”

“Sorry. That’s not the way it works.”

“What do I know? I’ve never waxed a floor in my entire life.”

“You’re a neurosurgeon. Surely you can read the label on the wax and follow
the directions.”

“Okay,” he grumbled. “They’re your floors. Just one thing, though. I’m warning you now that I don’t do windows.”

“That’s okay, love. I’ve already done them.” She handed him the wax and a mop. “Go to it.”

It was only a short time later when Mallory heard a plaintive call from the other part of the apartment. She walked through the living room and down the hall toward the bedrooms.

“Where are you?”

“In here.”

“In where?”

“The master bedroom, I guess.”

“Is this a trick?”

“Would I trick you?”

“It’s been known to happen.”

“Mallory, just get in here and tell me what to do.”

She found him in the far corner of the room, sitting down.

“Don’t step on the floor,” he shouted when she started toward him.

“What’s wrong?”

He glared at her. “I waxed everything, just like you told me.”

“It looks terrific.”

“Thank you. One thing, though.” Mallory waited. “How the hell do I get out of here?”

She tried to keep a straight face. She really did, but it was impossible. Her lips twitched, then broke into a grin. Then came the laughter. Justin’s scowl grew more fierce.

“It’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is. You should just see yourself.”

“If I could get to
a mirror, I’d take a look. Now get me out of here.”

“No can do. You’ll have to wait till the floor dries, unless, of course, you’d like to tiptoe across it and redo all the parts you step on.”

“I’ll sit.”

“Just be thankful it isn’t raining.”

“Why?”

“On a damp day, this could take forever to dry.”

“That little piece of news has absolutely made my morning. Now go get me a book and throw it over here.”

Mallory regarded him warily. “Are you sure you didn’t plan this to get out of doing the rest of the waxing?”

He grinned at her. “You’ll never know, will you?”

By the time the movers arrived, the floor had dried enough for Justin to come out of the bedroom. Thanks to her planning the day before, she knew exactly where she wanted every piece of furniture, and she directed the influx of her old familiar belongings like a choreographer. Everything was in place by late afternoon and already it felt like home. She kept wandering through the rooms, touching the wood, rubbing her fingers across the fabric of her chairs, testing the bed.

“Now that looks like a good idea,” Justin said when he caught her bouncing on the edge of the king-size mattress.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” she said, jumping to her feet. “You’re not getting out of any more work that way.” He held out his hand. “Then come with me.”

She put her hand in his and allowed him to lead her into the living room, where the carpet had been unrolled in front of the fireplace. While she’d been wandering through the apartment, Justin had
built a fire to ward off the early spring chill. He had also opened a bottle of wine and gotten two glasses from a box in the kitchen.

“I thought we should have a toast to your new home.”