Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set (18 page)

“When Jackson was born, I felt whole for the first time in my life.  He was my world. I died along with him, closing off my heart. I couldn’t deal with life anymore. I threw myself into my work. Any relationships I had were on my terms. It worked for me for a while, it was what I needed.”

“But then…” I started, wanting to hold him. I could feel his emotion pouring out. We had never been this honest with each other.

“Then, I walked into a bar in Chicago and the rug was pulled out from under me. There you were, sitting on a barstool with that prim skirt, looking gorgeous as hell and totally out of your element. I wasn’t looking for love that night, but it found me all the same. You are everything to me, Kitten. So much more than I ever deserved.”

I sat up and turned to face him, taking his cheeks in my hands. “I wasn’t really looking for you, either, more the idea of a Mr. Right. You were not it. With all your money and controlling ways. I felt so out of place. But you saw me, you always saw me. You’ve brought me back to life, Logan. Made me want things again. I love you so much for the man that you are and the future I can see for us. I want it all. I want to give you children. I know I can never erase the pain of Jackson’s loss and I wouldn’t want to replace him for you. But, I can give you a piece of me and you together.”

“I want that, too, baby. I want it all.” He pressed a hand to the back of my neck and kissed me. “We’ll make our own future and set our own rules. Whatever happened before us doesn’t matter. But promise me one thing.” He leaned away from me, his eyes serious.

“Of course.” I nodded.

“Never run again. Even if things get crazy. Never run. I can’t deal with that. I can’t think without you next to me. You can be mad, or hate me, but never leave me.”

“I know it was a mistake to run before. But I had to get out of there, Logan. I had to. I can’t promise I’ll never walk out during an argument because that’s how I process things. I need space sometimes to think clearly. And with you, I can never think clearly. Your presence alone consumes me.” I felt brave. This was the me who had been missing since Scott screwed me over so badly.

“Fair enough. I promise I can give you space when you need it.” He kissed me softly.

I yawned, my mind finally at ease. Pouring out one’s soul can take it out of you.

“Am I boring you, Kitten?” Amusement danced in his eyes.

“Sorry, it’s late, and I haven’t been sleeping much. My mind has been on overload.” I shrugged.

“Do you feel better now?”

“So much better. I feel like I’m finally living the life that I’m supposed to be living.”

“Good.” He kissed me again. “Let’s go back to bed then and worry about everything else in the morning.”

I nodded and allowed him to lead me back into the bedroom where we snuggled up together.

SHAILEEN’S WEDDING WAS AT THE
end of the week. I had more than my share of things to get done before I could think about leaving the office unattended for two weeks.

My Chicago assistant, Evan, was not as on the ball as Brooke had been, but I was making do. It was probably for the best that Brooke hadn’t come; Grace didn’t really enjoy the way Brooke flirted or dressed.

“Mr. McFadden, Miss DeLeo is on line two for you.” Evan’s voice cut through the intercom.

“Thanks, put her through, please.” I picked up the phone, smiling in anticipation of Grace’s voice.

“Hey.” This was not the DeLeo sister I was hoping for.

“Faith. What can I do for you?”

“Sorry to bug you at work,” she sounded hesitant.

“It’s no trouble. What’s up?” I was intrigued, Faith was never hesitant.

“So, I don’t know how to even say this. Well, remember how Smith and I met in New York?” she blurted out in a rush.

“I do.” I smiled into the phone. This was a different side of Faith.

“Well, we’ve kind of been talking a lot. And well, he’s asked me to come with him to California for your friend’s wedding.”

“Did he now?” I sat up in my chair. This was news to me. Smith Janner bringing a date to a wedding.

“Yeah.”

“So, why are you calling me about it?” I asked, leaning back in my chair.

“I just wanted to see if it would be weird if I went with him.”

“Not for me, it wouldn’t be. Have you spoken with Grace about this little revelation?” My tone amused.

“No,” she sighed. “You know how she can be sometimes. I don’t want her to read more into this than is really there.”

“What is this? Is it serious between you?”

“I honestly don’t know. Do you remember me talking about a guy I met while I was there?”

“Yeah.” My interest was piqued.

“He was the guy. We met in a bar by chance. He took me home, and we spent the night together. I was shocked when he walked up with you at the restaurant.”

“I think you need to talk to Grace about this, get her opinion. I think it’s great, Smith could use someone like you to call him out on his bullshit.” This day was getting increasingly better by the second.

She laughed. “I don’t know what to think about it at this point. I’ll talk to Grace. Thanks for talking to me.”

“Faith, you can always call me or drop in. I’m here whenever you need me. Any of you DeLeo women, for that matter.”

“You’re a good guy, Logan,” she said before she hung up.

Smith and Faith, this was going to be interesting. I leaned back in my chair and tapped the pen in my hand on the desk. I knew I was going to call him, the only question was how much crap was I going to give him. I made the decision and dialed the phone in stabbing motions with my pen.

When he answered, I jumped all over him. “Was there anything you needed to tell me?” I laughed.

“I take it Faith spoke to you?” he asked, his tone resigned.

“She did. How long has this been going on?” I tried to smother the laughter in my voice.

“Since New York. Any spare chance I have, really.”

“Who would have thought you of all people would be in a relationship.” The smile on my face was a mile wide.

“Shut it,” he growled into the phone.

“You know, I don’t think I will. Smith Janner, settling down with one woman. Has hell frozen over?” This was way too much fun, I could almost see why he had enjoyed giving me such a hard time.

“Give me a break here man,” he pleaded.

“Like you gave me one?” I countered.

“Fair enough. Okay, bring it on. I think I can take it.”

“Do you see this going somewhere?” I was genuinely curious. I leaned back in my chair, the phone cradled in between my ear and shoulder.

“I don’t know.” I could imagine him sitting at his desk pulling his hair out because he wasn’t used to having feelings.

“Bringing a girl to a wedding is a big step, especially your best friend’s wedding. It’s saying something that you even asked her to go.”

“I like her a lot. More than I should. She’s so brash.”

“You mean she’s like you.” I laughed. Smith was a straight shooter, always said what he thought and to hell with the consequences.

“Is that why I like her?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Ask yourself this, if you couldn’t ever see her again, how would you feel?” I knew for damn sure that’s how I felt about Grace. There was no such thing as a life without her anymore.

There was a moment of silence. “Shitty.”

“See, now aren’t you regretting giving me so much crap about moving here for Grace? Who knew it would hit you just as hard?”

“Is this what love feels like? I’ve never felt it before.”

“It’s odd, right? The feeling of wanting to out jump out of your skin if you can’t see her? When are you coming to Chicago? I assume you will be traveling together?”

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” I called.

“I’m here now.” Smith walked through my door and dropped into one of the chairs I had on the other side of my desk.

I dropped the phone in its cradle and grinned at him. “So, you do have it bad, don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” He cocked his head to the side.

“You’re here now when you don’t have to be for another three days.” I gave him a pointed look.

“Okay, yeah, I have it bad. Whatever. Stop talking about it already. What are you, a chick now?” He shook his head.

“No way, I’m not letting this drop. You deserve a little of what you dished out.” I jabbed a finger at him.

“I know you’re right, but I’d really rather you didn’t give me crap. I’m feeling fragile,” he smirked at me.

“Right, I’ll believe that never. When are you seeing her?” I rolled my eyes at him.

“I just left her. She was on the phone with you in the car with me on the way here.” He unsuccessfully tried to smother the smile on his face.

“You better hope that her sisters like you. Without them, you’ll be shit out of luck,” I said seriously, leaning forward on my desk.

“So, I’ve heard. Any pointers?” He drummed his fingers on his leg. His anxiety was palpable.

“Be honest. They can smell bullshit from a mile away. The fact that Faith likes you will be a plus, but you’ll need to prove that you’re worthy of dating a DeLeo daughter. Love will like you for sure, she’s a lot like Faith. Hope, not so sure, but she’s in a rough spot.” My tone softened at the mention of Hope.

“Faith told me. What a dick. Who does that?” He looked angry.

Smith and I had a similar upbringing and had the same thoughts on infidelity. It was probably why we both had stayed single for so long.

“Has Faith mentioned when your big unveiling will be?”

“My unveiling, huh? No, she hasn’t mentioned when she wants me to meet everyone.” He shook his head.

“Well, in my case it was an ambush. So be on your game.”

“Is it really so bad?” He looked nervous.

“No, well, yes. But you’ll be okay. Once they like you, you’ll be golden.”

“Come on, be a pal and take me out to lunch. I haven’t seen much past the inside of my hotel room.” He grinned.

SO MUCH WORK, NOT ENOUGH
time in the day to get it done. I sat at my desk with a pencil haphazardly stuck through my bun and another in my mouth. I didn’t hear Faith come in, I was lost in the haze of concentration.

She cleared her throat, and I almost jumped out of my skin.

“Sorry, I thought you heard me. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“So, what brings you by?” I studied her. She looked nervous, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Um, I have something to talk to you about.” She sat down in one of my chairs.

I leaned back from my desk and motioned for her to continue.

“Okay, so remember my mystery guy from New York?” she said hesitantly.

“I do.” I was excited to hear where this was going.

“It was Smith,” she blurted.

“What? No, that can’t be right. You mentioned him before Smith joined us for dinner.” I was confused.

“I met him in a bar. I was caught in the rain and ducked into the first place I saw. He was there, and well, we hooked up.”

“Wow. I mean, really, wow.” My eyes were wide.

“I like him, honey. I mean really like him.” Her tone softened.

“How many times have you seen him?”

“A lot. He’s been coming here at least once a week.”

“Once a week? Why didn’t you tell me this before now?”

“I don’t know. I was nervous about him. I didn’t think you would approve.” She dropped her eyes.

Me, not approve? Since when did she care about my thoughts on the guys she was hooking up with?

“I like Smith a lot, Faith,” I said carefully. I just wasn’t sure if I liked him for my sister.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, because he invited me to come to Shaileen’s wedding with him, and I said yes.”

“Wow.”

“You keep saying that.” She smiled weakly.

“You don’t need my permission to date someone, Faith,” I said gently.

“I know that,” she snapped. “Sorry, I’m just sensitive about this because he’s the first guy I’ve really liked in a long time. I need you to be okay with this.” She leaned forward and put her hands on my desk.

“I’m totally okay with it.” I smiled brightly. Inside, I was hoping it wasn’t a lie. I wanted to believe this would work out for them. “Besides, it will be fun to have someone I know there.”

“Good. I was so worried you would say you thought this was a bad idea.” She looked relieved. For once, I saw my sister as someone other than the ultra-confidant person she wanted everyone to believe she was.

My phone rang, I looked and it was Logan.

“Hey, gorgeous.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hey, yourself. What’s up?” I grinned.

“Want to get lunch?”

I looked at my sister. “I’m with Faith right now.”

“Small world, I’m with Smith.” His amusement at the situation was evident.

“Are you now?” I looked at my sister. “We’ll be downstairs in a few.”

“Wonderful. See you soon. Love you.”

“Love you, too, baby.” I hung up.

“We’re going to lunch with Logan and Smith.” Her eyes lit up at the mention of Smith’s name.

“You really like him?” I cocked my head to the side.

“Yeah, I really do.” Her smile was like the sun, radiant and warm.

I pushed aside my worries and grabbed my stuff so we could meet the guys.

Logan and Smith were leaned against the side of the car, arms crossed and huge smiles on their faces when we walked out of the building.

Faith blushed when Smith pulled her in for a kiss. This was a whole new side of her.

“Kitten, you look amazing.” Logan brushed his lips against mine, sending a shiver up my spine. “I especially love your hair accessory.” He pulled the pencil out of my bun.