Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set (4 page)

“Can you find her again?” she questioned.

I grinned. “I never lost her. I know where she is.”

“Then why are you here with me, instead of there with her?”

“Because I'm terrified to find out if what I felt was real or not,” I said softly.

“Did she ask you to stay?”

“No. She begged me to ask her not to leave.” Just saying the words hurt. This was not good at all.

“It was real.”

“How do you know? I let her leave, Shai, what if I go to her and she tells me to go to hell?”

“I just know, honey. Ask yourself this—will you be able to go the rest of your life without knowing for sure if this could have been something?”

“I don’t know.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. This was exactly why I didn’t do strings.

“You've never been this way about someone, not even…”

“Don’t say her name.” My tone was sharper than it should have been. “I’m sorry, I just can’t talk about her.” I softened.

“I know honey. I was there through it all.” She patted my leg. “I just think you need to give this a chance and see where it goes. You owe it to yourself. You deserve so much more than what you allow.” She put a hand on my cheek. “I used to think that somewhere down the line, you and I would find each other again, when we were both ready.”

I started to speak, but she silenced me with a finger.

“That was just a young girl’s fantasy. We were never meant for each other. I love you, more than I should at times, but it’s there. Over time that love changed to something else, it morphed into something non-emotional, something more platonic. I think you’re truly remarkable, and you are worth so much more. Your money means nothing, all of it, the power, it means nothing if you don’t have someone to come home to at night.”

“I love you too, Shai, and I used to wish that I could love you the way you deserved. I’m happy you found someone, and you know I’ll be Uncle Logan to your kids.”

“And they will love you as much as I do.” She put a hand on her stomach.

I hadn’t noticed the bump before, nor had I seen the ring on her finger. For the first time, I could see how happy she was.

“Come on, let’s go find Smith and Alex.” She held a hand out for me to help her up.

I arched a brow in silent question.

“I told them we needed a minute.” She pulled me into a hug. “I love you.” She kissed my cheek.

“I know you do. I love you, too. Now let’s go so I can meet your fiancé.” I pressed my lips to hers gently. My Shai was all grown up.

“GRACE? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
to me?” Faith snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“What? Sorry.”

“I said Hope is on her way up and then we have to run if we’re going to make it to the airport in time to meet Charity’s flight.”

I was so excited to see her again. She’d been away studying at Oxford for the past two years in England. She was coming home for the summer, and we were elated.

“Come on, get the lead out,” Faith ordered.

“I’m coming; I’ll meet you downstairs—I just need to find my shoes.”

Hope talked nonstop the whole way to the airport.

“Has it been a while since you’ve had adult interaction?” Faith laughed as we got out of the car.

“No, why?” Hope had a quizzical expression on her face.

“You literally talked the entire time.”

“I did not,” she scoffed, looking offended.

“You really did.” I patted her arm. “It’s okay, though, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sorry. John’s been working so much lately, and I’ve been home with the baby by myself. I guess I didn’t realize how starved for attention I was.” She smiled sheepishly.

“You know I’m always only a phone call away,” I whispered as we walked into the airport.

“I know you are. You're busy with work, too, though.”

For the first time, I noticed that my sister looked sad. Maybe domestic bliss wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

“Come on, I don’t want to miss her coming down the escalator,” Faith called out from ahead of us.

Turned out that us hurrying didn’t matter, Charity’s flight was delayed by two hours.

“So, do we leave and come back or stay?” I asked the others.

“We may as well stay. We can get magazines and food and meet back here to wait,” Hope mused.

So we all split up in search of food and magazines. I was perusing the magazine rack when a familiar face jumped out at me from the cover of
Forbes
. My heart stopped. There he was, in full color, smiling at me under the headline “The Billionaire Bachelor”. Logan.

I bought the magazine and sat in the first open seat I could find, flipping to his story and reading it through, twice. His last name was McFadden, and he was apparently the sole heir to some huge corporation that owned about a zillion other companies.

I scoured each page of the story, looking at pictures of him with various women at charity events—the ballet, the opera, and all sorts of other snooty rich people events. They were all blonde and cut from the same mold; apparently he had a “type”. I for sure didn’t fit that mold. I wasn’t tall or statuesque.

Seeing him was like a punch to the gut, even if it was only on paper. It reaffirmed that I was not, in fact, over him in any way. Logan McFadden. His last name, I could look for him now if I wanted to. Did I want to? Was I willing to find him and risk him rejecting me?

“Hey, we’ve been looking all over for you.” Hope plopped down in the empty chair next to me, her brown eyes worried.

“Sorry. I found this and sort of lost track of everything.”

“What is this?” She flipped to see the cover of the periodical.

“Logan,” I whispered.

“What?” Her jaw dropped, and she studied his picture. Naturally, she knew about my brief encounter, but not all the details.

“It’s an article about him and his life. Just seeing his face again…” I felt my composure waning.

“Wow, he’s a hottie.” Hope peered at him.

“I know,” I groaned.

“Like, really hot. You never said he was this hot.” She looked closer.

“Yeah, he’s insanely hot,” I said glumly

Faith found us a few minutes later.

“You have to find him; you know that, right?” Faith proclaimed.

“What? Don't be crazy.”

“Grace, seriously, you have been awful since that night. You need to do this, to see if there is something there.”

“What am I supposed to do? Show up at his office in New York and say, ‘Hey, remember me? We had a one-night stand three months ago, and I can’t stop thinking about you?’ That would be nuts.” Just the thought of doing that made me sick to my stomach.

“What if he feels the same way, though?” Hope chimed in—the voice of reason, as usual.

“What if he doesn’t?” Could I do this? Could I fly across the country, chasing my destiny? The thought of him rejecting me again made my stomach twist.

All thoughts of Logan were erased by the impending arrival of Charity’s flight from England. As soon as we saw her tall blond head coming down the escalator, all of us screamed her name and ran to tackle her.

“It’s so good to be home.” She hugged me tightly, while we waited for Hope to bring the car around. “The UK was amazing, but there’s nothing like being home. I missed all you crazy bitches.”

“That’s right, you did,” Faith chimed in.

“Okay, so what’s been going on? Fill me in on everything.”

“Grace is in love,” Faith said quickly.

“What? Who is he? When can I meet him?” Charity talked a mile a minute.

“I’m not in love.” I hid my smile behind my hands

“Fine, Grace is in lust,” Faith said sarcastically.

“Seriously, when can I meet him?” Charity bounced on her toes.

“Never,” I grumbled.

Charity looked from me to Faith for a moment. “Okay, spill it.”

Once we were in the car, I filled her in on the whole situation.

“Wow, I’m a little surprised since you are so not the one-night stand kind of girl. You’re a hearts-and-flowers relationship kind of girl.”

“I know I am. The thing with Logan was a one-time thing; I’ll never do something like it again. I ended up worse for the wear. Enough about me, though, tell us about you and everything that’s been going on.” I squeezed her hand. My baby sister was back.

“School was challenging, which was exactly what I needed. The workload was insane, like no sleep ever.”

“Did you escape the library long enough to have a little bit of fun?” Hope called from the front seat.

“I did.” Charity’s eyes sparkled.

“Ooh, Charity met someone.” Faith grinned.

“I did. His name is Jude.” She smiled sweetly.

“How very British.” Faith laughed.

“He is very British. And amazing and handsome,” she gushed.

As much as I didn’t want to, I envied her. She had found someone who made her heart beat faster, and he felt the same way. They had something real.

The next couple of days were spent all together at Hope’s house. It was one big pajama party. We laughed and caught up with each other’s lives. The DeLeo sisters were finally back together—everything was right with the world.

Charity finally decided to stay with Faith and me for the night. After Hope went home and Faith went out for the night, we hunkered in to watch movies and talk.

“Tell me more about your mystery man.” Charity curled her feet under her legs on the couch next to me and put a Twizzler in her mouth.

“God Char, I wish you could have met him.” I sighed. “He made me feel alive for the first time in a long time.”

“Then why are you not going to go and find him again?” she prodded, throwing a Twizzler at me.

“He already let me leave once. I don’t know if I can live through that again.” I put a pillow over my face.

“Stop being so afraid all the time. What if he feels the exact same way you do?”

“I want to believe that. With all my heart I want to believe that.” My voice was thick with emotion.

“Why do you think it’s not true?”

“If he felt the same as me, would he have let me leave?”

“Maybe. Think about this, what if he does feel the same way, but it scared him?” She gestured with a licorice stick.

“Logan can have any woman in the world, Charity. Why would he want me?”

“Shut up. I’m not going to listen to this nonsense anymore. Scott was a dick, we all knew it right from the start. Stop letting him ruin your life when he’s not even in it anymore.” She looked angry.

This was the second time in a few days that my sisters had brought up Scott. The ex from hell. The man who broke my heart into tiny pieces. I was glad he wasn’t in my life anymore, even though the damage he inflicted was still healing.

“I really think you owe it to yourself to go. You’ll always wonder about him if you don’t.” She smiled.

“I’ll think about it.” That was the truth, I would most likely do nothing but think about it for the next few days.

FAITH WAITED A COUPLE OF
weeks before she brought up Logan again. She and I were out at lunch, prior to an afternoon of shopping.

“You need to go see Logan, Grace.” She slid something across the table.

I opened the envelope and saw a plane ticket to New York, leaving in two days. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“Nope. Hope and I pitched in and got it. You need to do this. You will never be happy unless you explore what might be there. You know I’m right, Grace.”

“I know you are right, but it’s so scary. He’s this amazingly handsome, incredibly wealthy man who could have any woman he wanted. If he had wanted me, he could have asked me to stay, or even for my number. But he didn’t. He didn’t even say goodbye—he just let me walk away.”

Faith shook her head. “Don’t sell yourself short, cupcake, you're a hottie. He would be lucky to have you in his life. And haven’t you ever wondered if maybe he was scared of what he felt, too?”

I chewed at my lower lip. I had wondered about it—in between being pissed off and really sad. Had he felt it, too?

“Two days. That doesn’t give me any time to psych myself up for this. Are you coming with?”

“Hell yes, I’m coming. Do you think I would send you to New York by yourself? I’m not, however, going to go with you to meet him. That is all you. So, the question is, are you in?”

“Yes, I’m in. I think this is crazy, and I’m probably going to make a fool of myself in front of the most eligible bachelor in the United States, but let’s do it!”

“I was so hoping you would say that,” she beamed at me.

“You realize this is totally nuts, right?” I twisted my bracelet nervously.

“It is, but you have to do it.”

“I know I do.” I sighed.

“Now, let’s talk fashion. What are you going to wear when you see him?”

We spent a full hour going over all the details for our trip to New York. She and I would fly out on Wednesday evening, and I would go find Logan on Thursday, at some point. My stomach was officially in knots.

Faith dragged me through countless stores, making me try on various slutty dresses and delicious heels that were way too high to be anything but awful to walk in. But I loved them anyway.

“What do you think of these?” I walked carefully in a pair of sky high black heels.

“They make your ass look amazing. You want your ass to look amazing when you see him again, don't you?”

I sighed. “Yes, I really do.”

In the end, I got two new dresses, a skirt and blouse, and three pairs of heels. I was going to look amazing. Even if my heart got smashed to pieces, I would at least look good when it happened.

Later that night, I was over at Hope’s house sitting on the floor with Grayson while Hope made dinner.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” she called over her shoulder at me.

“I’m so nervous. What if it was all in my head? He probably does that sort of thing all the time, why should I have been any different to him?”

“I don’t really know the answer to that. But you owe it to yourself to find out if it was real.”

“My head knows you’re totally right, but my heart is terrified to be smashed to pieces. He’s amazing, the whole damn package. Sexy, funny, and great in bed.” I sighed unhappily.

“Don’t forget rich beyond all reason,” Hope chimed in.

“Yeah, but I knew he was rich before,” I shot back.