Never Mind The Botox: Rachel (35 page)

‘I know. Two children under two − we must be mad,’ said Rowan, laughing.

Rachel could tell that Rowan was genuinely thrilled.

‘It must have been all that extra attention you’ve been paying,’ said Rachel, raising her eyebrows in amusement.

‘Something like that,’ said Rowan. ‘At least it made me wake up and realise how lucky I am. Laura has been on much better form and I’ve even been looking after Naomi on my own. Getting it all wrong still, no doubt, but having far more fun with her than I expected.’

‘She is really very cute,’ said Rachel, remembering her defrosted food horror day with Naomi with real affection.

‘Yes, she is. I’ve got a few recent photos on my phone. Do you want to see them?’ Rowan asked.

Rachel grinned. It was funny to see Rowan playing the proud dad. ‘Go on then,’ she said.

Rachel made appropriately admiring noises at the pictures of Naomi that were in fact a bit dark and nothing very special.

‘Have you told Mum and Dad yet?’ Rachel asked.

‘No, not yet. We thought we would wait a bit. You’re the first person we’ve told actually,’

‘Wow, I’m touched. But as you know, I’m very good at keeping secrets,’ said Rachel, tapping the side of her nose.

‘Yes, you are,’ said Rowan. ‘And thank goodness for that!’

Rachel smiled at her brother. A new baby, how exciting! It seemed like things were finally getting back on track for him and Laura.

Chapter 26

By Friday evening, Rachel was really excited about the sailing trip. She’d dug out a white skirted mac that went brilliantly with her new white trousers and had spent ages going through her wardrobe choosing something to change into for the disco. She’d also packed herself a grab bag, carefully choosing a brightly striped canvas beach bag that zipped at the top. In it she’d packed everything she could think she would need in an emergency: phone, money, her iPod (in case it took a while to get rescued), two handy-sized packs of tissues, some headache tablets, a packet of biscuits, a big bag of sweets (to keep spirits up), a bottle of water, some hairbands and a small towel. Rachel looked at her neatly packed bag and smiled. Her father would be proud of her − nothing better than being prepared, ‘just in case’. Once she’d finished packing the rest of her things, she had a long bath and went to bed early.

The next morning Rachel stepped out of her car at the marina and looked around. Rows and rows of boat masts bobbed gently in the wind, making a low jangling noise, like a giant wind-chime. The marina was surrounded by newly built white and grey apartments with large glass fronts, many with balconies overlooking the water. She checked her reflection in the car window, belting her mac tightly around her waist and pushing her sunglasses up onto her head to complete her casual, but brilliantly nautical outfit.

As she walked towards the boats she could see a large group of people congregating next to several identical sailing boats. It didn’t take long to spot Sue Martin. She was standing on the steps down to the pontoon holding a clipboard and shouting instructions at people on one of the boats. Rachel looked at her in surprise. She seemed to be wearing a pair of very unflattering dungarees with a long-sleeved top underneath. As she got closer she could see that they were in fact waterproof dungarees. Rachel looked around and, to her horror, all she could see was a mass of people in various different combinations of brightly coloured waterproof clothing, busying themselves with boat preparations. There wasn’t a single pair of white flares in sight.

‘Rachel, hi, over here, come and register,’ shouted Sue from her makeshift office on the steps.

Rachel walked over to Sue, feeling completely ridiculous in her boating get up. She was totally overdressed. She looked down at Sue’s welly-like sailing shoes and then at her own navy ballet pumps and cringed. What a fuck up.

Sue looked at her. ‘Did you bring some clothes to change into?’

‘Only for the disco later,’ said Rachel. God, this was embarrassing.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Sue breezily. ‘I’m sure there will be some things you can borrow. You’re on boat number three, over there with Luke.’

Sue pointed towards a boat that was moored out in the water against two other boats.

‘How do I, er, get out to it?’ Rachel asked.

Sue grinned at her. ‘You climb across the other two boats.’

‘Ah right, thanks,’ said Rachel.

She started clambering across the first of the boats, smiling and nodding to the crews already on board, trying to look nonchalant. She climbed down into the cockpit area of the first boat with her rucksack and grab bag swinging precariously from side to side as she went. As she climbed back out the other side towards the second boat she knelt on a neatly coiled wet rope that left brown whiplash stains across the front of her pristine white trousers and her navy pumps slipped about like someone had covered the soles with baby oil.

‘Fuck it,’ said Rachel in frustration as she slipped onto her knees for about the tenth time.

‘Here, let me help you,’ said a voice from above her. ‘I’m Luke, by the way, your skipper for today.’

Rachel looked up at the outstretched arm. Luke had short cropped hair and a very square jaw that was lightly covered with day old stubble. He was wearing a pair of red waterproof trousers and a tightly fitted red and navy striped top.

‘Thanks, I’m Rachel,’ she said, slipping again as he pulled her onto the boat. ‘Sorry, not exactly got the right shoes.’

‘Or anything else for that matter,’ said Luke, looking her up and down and laughing. ‘You’re going to be bloody freezing.’

Rachel stared at Luke indignantly. There was no need to laugh at her quite so quickly. ‘I thought the forecast was for sun?’

‘It is, but it’s going to be windy too. The wind chill can make it feel much colder,’ said Luke.

‘Oh I’m sure I’ll be fine,’ said Rachel, trying to look relaxed as she manoeuvred herself onto a seat.

‘Do you know the others?’ said Luke, nodding at the three other people already onboard.

‘No, I’m afraid I don’t, but we are quite a big company,’ said Rachel.

‘Let me introduce you then,’ said Luke.

Luke introduced Rachel to James, Will and Sonya, all of whom looked to Rachel like proper sailing types. They certainly had all the gear anyway, although Will claimed to be a ‘virtual beginner’.

‘Oh look, here’s the safety team coming to give us a briefing,’ said Luke, as two people jumped nimbly on board. Rachel recognised them as the couple she’d heard chatting in the IT helpdesk queue in the week. She stared at them. She would have thought that at least the woman would have been in flares. She’d definitely heard her say that she’d already packed them. It was so unfair.

Rachel sat and listened carefully to the safety briefing, trying to ignore the amused glances at her flapping white mac and now grubby white flares. Always wear your life jacket and listen to the skipper in case of an emergency seemed to be the long and short of it.

‘Right, anyone got any questions before we get going?’ Luke asked once the safety team had moved on to the next boat.

‘Where shall I put my grab bag?’ Rachel asked.

Luke looked at her and then around on the floor. ‘I thought the grab bags were already on board,’ he said. ‘The safety team put one on earlier.’ He lifted up one of the seats in the cockpit and opened a large locker underneath. ‘Yeah, it’s in here. I thought so.’

‘I also packed one myself,’ said Rachel, keen to show that despite her impractical dress she had at least done something sensible.

‘Did you?’ Luke looked surprised. ‘Where is it?’

Rachel held up her canvas beach bag. Luke raised his eyebrows and grinned at her. Sonya stifled a laugh.

‘It looks a bit small,’ said Luke. ‘And besides, we can only take one grab bag in an emergency. Ours has things in it like a VHF radio, an anchor for the life raft, distress flares, a GPS signalman, water and rations for the crew, fishing equipment, torches, blankets, that sort of thing.’ He looked enquiringly at Rachel’s less than bulging shoulder bag. ‘And yours?’

Distress flares! Rachel began dying quietly inside. How was she to know that she’d been listening to the safety team?

‘Oh, well, er, mine is, umm, more personal than that. You know, just a few things that I like to have with me. Obviously it’s not for actual emergencies, more for if we, well, just need to, you know, get on and off quickly,’ Rachel stammered, trying not to go red.

‘Oh right, great,’ said Luke, smiling at her in amusement. ‘Why don’t you put it here, next to the helm. That way you can get to it any time you need to. Right, shall we get going? I just need two of you to help me cast off. James and Sonya, can you do the side ropes for me and bring the fenders in.’

Rachel sat down miserably and watched Luke start the engine and steer the boat out of the marina. This trip was meant to be making her feel better, helping her recharge her batteries, but instead she just felt out of place and humiliated. And these know-it-all sporty types were starting to get on her nerves.

‘It’ll take us about twenty minutes to motor out to the race course,’ said Luke. ‘Not much to do until then, so why don’t you all just sit down and relax for a bit. There are some beers in the fridge if anyone would like one.’

Beer! Now that sounded better, thought Rachel.

‘I’ll get them,’ said Rachel, practically leaping down to the fridge in one jump.

She handed round beers to everyone except Luke, who didn’t want one. She began to relax as she sat sipping her beer. The sun was warm on her back and the boat was quietly lapping its way through the water. As they passed the headland and went out into the open waters of the Solent, the wind picked up and the size of the waves increased markedly.

‘Right, time to put the sails up,’ said Luke.

He spent a few minutes talking each person through what he wanted them to do. Rachel just had one rope to pull up out of its clasp, which Luke told her was known as a cleat, whenever he shouted ‘Ready about’. Will would pull the rope in on the other side of the boat at the same time and that would swing one of the front sails round when they changed direction. It didn’t seem too hard.

As soon as the sails went up the total demeanour of the boat changed. It seemed to crash far more against the swell of the waves and started tipping heavily to one side, which Rachel didn’t like at all. And, just as Luke had said she would, she started to feel cold. She could see the other boats sailing up and down nearby, their crews leaping around the boats like brightly coloured grasshoppers, getting ready for the start of the race, but she had no idea which way they were supposed to be heading.

A loud bang made Rachel jump.

‘Five minute gun,’ shouted Luke. ‘Let’s head for the start line. Ready about!’

Rachel yanked her rope out of the cleat and was about to let it loose when Luke shouted, ‘Not yet, Rachel. Wait until the nose is round.’

Rachel clung on to her rope, twisting it round her hands and leaning backwards until Luke nodded at her to let it go. The sail flapped round and then went taut on the other side of the boat. The next few minutes were so hectic that Rachel didn’t have time to think. Luke turned the boat round over and over again, trying to get the perfect start position. There was lots of shouting of ‘water’ and ‘starboard’, as the boats all got quite close to each other. Rachel had no idea what was going on but she found the drama and excitement of the start totally exhilarating.

‘Well done, Luke, great start,’ shouted Sonya as all of the boats eventually started heading in the same direction. As the boat powered along towards the first race marker, leaning hard over in the strong winds, the water began splashing over the sides. It splashed onto Rachel’s face, streaking her mascara, and ran over the edge where she was sitting, soaking her trousers. After a few minutes she began to shiver.

‘James, can you take the helm a minute? Just steer towards the mark; we don’t need to tack again,’ said Luke and he came and sat down next to Rachel. ‘Your lips have gone blue,’ he said. ‘Is that mac waterproof?’

Rachel felt the water seeping in through the seams of the mac and shook her head.

Luke looked down at her wet trousers. ‘Jeez, you’re soaking already. You can borrow my spares. They’ll be a bit big, but at least you’ll be dry. There’s a grey duffle bag below deck. In it are some tracksuit bottoms, a sweatshirt and some waterproof trousers. You should put some socks on too. They’re a bit knackered, I’m afraid, but at least they’re clean.’

‘Won’t you need them?’ Rachel asked.

‘I’m not planning on falling in today,’ said Luke, grinning. ‘And besides, if we really need more dry clothes, the rescue boat will have some.’

Rachel went down below deck and found the bag. She took out Luke’s clothes, hurriedly stuffing back in the boxer shorts that fell out at the same time. She took off her wet trousers and put on Luke’s tracksuit bottoms. They were much too big, so Rachel took the belt off her white mac and put it round the top of the trousers, folding the waistband over the top. They looked ridiculous but at least they stayed up. She then put on the sweatshirt and the waterproof trousers with dungaree style straps, rolling up the sleeves of the sweatshirt and the legs of the trousers several times so she could get her hands and feet out. Finally she put on Luke’s light brown socks and squeezed her feet back into her navy pumps, completing perfectly her clown-like appearance. But there was little point being embarrassed now; she’d made a total fool of herself so many times already it couldn’t get much worse.