New Leaf (25 page)

“Aren’t you scared?”

“No. I have horses and a cow. I’m used to them.”

“What other things do you save?”

Barney sorely wished that he could save one very cute little girl who was wrapping his heart around her little finger. “Have you ever seen baby chickens?”

She nodded and frowned with a distant expression on her small face. “Mommy took me to a store once that had baby chicks in a big, long bucket.”

“A trough,” Barney clarified. “At feed stores where they sell chicks, they keep the babies warm in deep troughs with a heat lamp. When people buy chicks, they bring them home and do something similar, but they don’t always have a box or trough that’s deep enough, and sometimes the baby chicks escape.”

Sarah had stopped eating, her gaze fixed on him. “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh is right,” Barney agreed. “One night I got a call from a lady who was keeping baby chicks in
her bathtub. One of them got loose and climbed into the cupboard under her vanity.”

“What’s a vanity?”

“In bathrooms, a vanity is a cabinet, normally with a sink, that has a mirror or medicine cabinet above it. This lady’s vanity had a sink, which meant that she had water pipes inside her vanity cabinet. Plumbers cut holes in the wall to fit pipes through for sinks, and they often leave a larger hole than the diameter of the pipe. The lady’s escaped chick somehow climbed through the hole around the pipe and ended up inside the wall.

“The lady didn’t know what to do. She could hear the chick peeping inside her wall, but she had no way to get the baby back out. So she called the sheriff’s department, and I just happened to be on duty.”

“Did you save the baby chick?”

“I did. But I had to listen with my ear against the Sheetrock to figure out where the chick was, and then I had to saw a great big hole in the lady’s wall to reach inside and catch the chick. I put it back in the tub with all the other chicks and told the lady she needed a big trough and that she should put wire over the top of it to keep her chicks from escaping again.”

“Was she mad about the hole in her wall?”

Barney laughed. “Well, fixing holes in walls doesn’t fall under my job description, so she had to hire someone to come out and do the repairs. I’m sure she wasn’t happy when she got the bill.”

Sarah wiped her mouth with a section of paper towel that had been in her sack. “Well, what the hell
did she expect? You had to make a big hole to reach in and get the baby.”

“There’s another word you should try not to say,” Barney observed. “Hell, I mean. Have you heard me say it?”

“No, but I’ve heard lots of other people say it.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, because five-year-old girls shouldn’t use that word.”

Sarah shrugged. “I know. Grammy says she’ll never wash my mouth out with soap, but sometimes she wants to.” She cocked her head to give Barney a questioning look. “If I come to see my mommy at her house someday, maybe I can go with you sometime to rescue a kitten.”

For that privilege, Barney would be willing to deposit a kitten at the top of a tree so Sarah could watch him risk breaking his neck to save it. “It’s a date, little lady. I’d love to have company on a kitten-rescue mission.”

Sarah put her half-eaten lunch back in the bag. “I’m going to sit with my mommy and grandpa for a while. I like you better than I did, but I still don’t like you lots.”

Barney was glad to have made some progress, even if only a little. “Do you think you could come to like me better if I came for lunch on Tuesdays? You could still sit far away from me. All we’d do is talk.”

Sarah considered him with a solemn gaze. “What if I don’t always want to sit with you?”

“I’ll understand. You don’t have to sit with me. I’d
just like to be available to visit with you in case you’d like to sit with me.”

“Why?”

Barney replied, “I love your mommy. Your mommy loves you. I think it would make her very happy if you and I could be friends. Maybe not best friends, or anything like that. Just friend friends.”

Sarah mulled that over. “Okay. You can come on Tuesdays.” She raised a tiny finger. “But if you’re an asshole even one single time, I’ll never sit with you again.”

Barney watched his stepdaughter flounce away, swinging her lunch sack at her side. “Oh, Taffy,” he whispered, “you’ve got your work cut out for you with that little twerp, and so have I.”

After the lecture in the auditorium, Barney made the long drive to and from Erickson every Tuesday. Taffeta wished she could accompany him, but she drove over by herself for visitations with her daughter in order to allow Barney and Sarah to grow acquainted on their own terms. Sometimes Barney came home looking deflated because Sarah had chosen to sit with her teacher to eat lunch. Other times, he walked into the house beaming from ear to ear and regaled Taffeta with accounts of his talks with Sarah.

She still cussed like a sailor, he told Taffeta one night, but the nose stud had finally vanished. Another night, he related that Sarah hadn’t uttered one bad word during the entire meal. Another night he walked in with tears in his eyes. As Taffeta waited for him to speak, believing that something horrible had happened, she watched his Adam’s apple bob as he struggled to talk.

His mouth contorted. His strong features twisted. The tears he battled not to shed spilled over his lower lashes onto his sun-weathered cheeks. “Today
she asked me if we could be best friends,” he pushed out. And then he grabbed Taffeta into his arms, bent his head to press his face against her hair, and started to sob. “Jesus, Taffy, those w-were the most beau-beautiful words I e-ever heard. Sh-she wants m-me to be h-her best fr-friend. Do you underst-stand how m-much that m-means to me?”

One of the most beautiful gifts in Taffeta’s life was to know just exactly how much Sarah’s offer of friendship, the best-friend kind, mattered to this big, skilled law officer who could take down a grown man lickety-split and pin him to the floor. That kind of war was a matter of course for him in his line of work. Overcoming the hatred and fear of a little girl was, in his opinion, the greatest victory of his life.

Knowing how much Barney loved her—knowing that somehow that love he felt had extended to her daughter—meant everything to Taffeta. She wept with him. They sobbed, clenched in each other’s embrace, and swayed like two intertwined saplings being buffeted by a strong wind.

When both of them finally recovered from the storm of emotion, Barney cradled Taffeta in his arms, still swaying slightly, and said, “What does being best friends with a little girl mean? Will I have to wear pink ribbons in my hair and nail polish with polka dots?”

Taffeta started to laugh, and then so did he. They finally collapsed onto chairs at the table and held their sides until their mirth subsided. Barney held
up a big, broad hand. “I think clear polish might work. I could live with that.”

Taffeta’s mouth started to tremble. “You will not be required to wear nail polish of any kind, Barney. You’re a man, and being a strong male role model in her life is the most important thing that she needs. No ribbons, no sparkles. She only needs for you to be
you
. She’ll love you just for who you are. Trust me on this.”

He held her gaze with tears still swimming in his eyes. “I’ll even wear lipstick for her, I swear to God. You cannot imagine how it felt when she looked up at me with those huge brown eyes and asked if I’d be her best friend. Not just friend friends, but best friends. She stressed the difference.”

•   •   •

During one of her visits to the Gentry home in Erickson, Taffeta was told by Cameron that he had petitioned the court right after her first visit to grant her unsupervised visitations with her daughter. He cautioned her not to expect a swift ruling. The month of May slipped away into June, and June sped by until it was July. Taffeta worked in her shop every day and went home to be with her wonderful husband at night, except for when he pulled a double shift so he could always have Tuesdays off. It seemed to her that she would never have her daughter for a visitation in her own home, let alone regain custody. That saddened her.

But life went on, demanding that she run her business, pay the bills, shop for groceries, clean the
house, and cook. Barney always helped with the household chores, just as she went out to help him with the chickens and livestock. Sometimes depression threatened to bog her down, but she always managed to shrug it off. She had so many blessings to be thankful for, the most wonderful one being Barney. He loved her so much. Being with him was such a gift. Whenever she saw him, her heart blossomed with joy, and judging from the way he looked at her, he felt the same way.

It was good. No, it was wonderful.

But until she got her daughter back, it would never be perfect.

Her visits with Sarah were fun, and Taffeta looked forward to them. But there were also hurdles to jump whenever she kept company with her daughter. Sarah seldom used bad language now, but she still slipped sometimes and shocked Taffeta with a filthy word. Sarah also still grew sassy with adults and didn’t show them proper respect. Slowly Taffeta assumed more and more parental responsibility, calling Sarah onto the carpet for a scold to correct her behavior instead of leaving the entire burden of discipline on Cameron’s shoulders. Grace, weakened and sick from chemo, no longer had the strength to deal with Sarah at all, and the friend who came daily to be a grandmother substitute felt uncomfortable about correcting Sarah’s manners.

Taffeta had come to accept that she wouldn’t soon be awarded custody. Before that could happen, the appellate court had to overturn her child abuse conviction, and at that level in the judicial hierarchy,
things seemed to move slowly. When—and if—Taffeta was pronounced innocent, she could file for a hearing with the court in Erickson to regain custody.

One evening, she told Barney, “I’m afraid Sarah will be eighteen and graduating from high school before I can have her come live with me.”

Barney hugged her close. “I know all this waiting is very hard. I also know being patient has to be really difficult. Maybe it will be easier when the Erickson court finally grants you the right to have unsupervised visitations with Sarah. At least then, you’ll be able to have her here, in our home environment.”

Taffeta yearned with all her heart for that day to arrive, but after waiting for so long, she feared that the Erickson court might never grant her that privilege.

•   •   •

The following week, Taffeta was behind the counter at her shop, making a list of supplements that she needed to order, when Barney walked in with Sarah in tow.

“Surprise!” he said. “Cameron pulled strings to hurry things up, got you unsupervised visitation, and came to the department with a very special present. He wanted me to deliver her here so we can celebrate as a family.”

“Hi, Mommy!” Sarah, wearing a blaze of bright yellow, dashed behind the counter. “I get to stay with you for a whole
week
! Even longer if I want!
Grammy says my grandpa will come and get me if I get homesick, but I don’t think I will.”

Taffeta dropped to her knees and wrapped both arms around her little girl. This had to be a dream. In a moment, she’d wake up.

“How come you are crying?” Sarah asked. “Aren’t you glad I’m here?”

Taffeta gave a wet laugh. “I’m crying because I’m so happy! You’re the very best present anyone ever gave me!”

Over the top of the child’s head, Barney said, “Cameron says that she’s missing vacation Bible school, but that’s just fine because she attends a private Christian school nine months a year. When he got the word that you’d been granted unsupervised visitation, he packed her a suitcase, yanked her out of Bible school, and drove her here. Until regular school reconvenes, you can have her for as long as you like as long as she doesn’t get homesick.”

A lump had taken up residence at the base of Taffeta’s throat, making it difficult for her to speak. She silently scolded herself for acting like a ninny, collected her composure, and hurriedly prepared to close her shop for the day, maybe for the entire week. She could scarcely believe Grace and Cameron’s generosity and made a mental note to call them later to say thank you.

But for now she could focus on only Sarah.

As she collected her purse and fished for her car keys, Barney said, “No way am I letting you drive home, honey. You’re shaking like a leaf.”

Taffeta realized that she actually was trembling from head to toe. “You’re right. I probably shouldn’t drive.”

“Besides,” Barney said, tousling Sarah’s dark curls, “how often do I get to chauffeur two gorgeous ladies?”

Sarah giggled. “I’m not a lady yet.”

“Oh well, a beautiful lady and a gorgeous little girl, then.”

Once outside, Barney took Sarah’s hand as they walked along the sidewalk to his truck. Taffeta noticed that he shortened his steps to accommodate the child’s shorter stride. She bit back a smile, thinking what a wonderful father he would be.

Instead of heading straight home, Barney treated them to lunch at Dizzy’s Roundtable Restaurant. Sarah was fascinated by the revolving dining area, which Taffeta knew had been Barney’s intent.

“Do people really get dizzy on this damned thing?” Sarah asked him.

“Watch your language, missy,” Barney said firmly. “As for your question, I don’t know. But I don’t think so. It goes too slow. Do you feel dizzy?”

Sarah’s curls bounced as she shook her head. “Nope. I only feel hungry.”

Once they got to Barney’s house, Sarah was equally fascinated by Barney’s farm animals. She chortled over the chickens and tried to get the rooster to crow. Barney let her help feed the horses and Mary Lou. Sarah noticed the cow’s huge stomach and asked why it was so fat.

“We think she’s about to have a baby calf,” Barney said.

“And it’s in her tummy?” Sarah asked.

Barney sent Taffeta a look that begged her to take over.

Taffeta bit back a grin. “All female mammals carry their babies inside them,” Taffeta told her daughter. “They have a special place called a womb where the babies are safe, warm, and fed until they grow big enough to be born.”

As children will, Sarah accepted that explanation without further comment and moved on to ask questions about the horses. Why did they have elbows on their back legs and not on their front ones? Why were their manes and tales so long, and the rest of their hair was short? How could they eat cookies that were so hard that they cracked people’s teeth?

The child scampered around the farm with what seemed like boundless energy and protested when Taffeta said it was time to go inside and make dinner.

“But this is so fun, and I’m not hungry!”

Taffeta was sorely tempted to give in and spoil her daughter rotten. But in the end, she knew that would be a disservice to Sarah. “You can help me and Barney cook,” she offered instead.

Sarah peered up at Barney as the three of them walked to the house. “Do you and my mommy live together? My mommy said once that you moved out.”

“We decided that it was a mistake for me to move out,” Barney replied.

“How come?”

“We’re married, and we love each other very much. Married people are supposed to be together. We missed each other too much to stay apart.”

Sarah peered up at Taffeta. “You said I was most important! So how come did you let him come back when I still didn’t like him?”

Taffeta chose her words carefully. “Right after your father took you back to your grandparents, you were doing and saying things that little girls shouldn’t. I needed Barney’s advice on how to be the best mommy I can be, and since he’s legally your stepfather, I also wanted his help to raise you. So he and I talked, and we decided that we needed to offer you a
real
family, with both a daddy and a mommy.”

Taffeta expected Sarah to protest or feel that she’d been hoodwinked. Instead she gave Barney an inquisitive look. “Does that mean you’re my new daddy?”

Barney shrugged. “Do you need a new daddy?”

Sarah nodded. “The one I’ve got doesn’t like me.”

“Well, then, I’ll apply for the job,” Barney said. “I like you. I like you a lot.”

Sarah bounced ahead of them up the porch steps. “Do you have a dog?”

“No,” Barney confessed.

Sarah struggled to open the door. Barney lent a hand, and the three of them spilled into the kitchen.

“How come don’t you have a dog?” Sarah demanded.

Barney leaned down to her eye level. “I was waiting for you to help me pick one out.”

Sarah clapped her hands and jumped in place. “Yay! I want a great big one with long hair!”

“Will you be happy with a puppy that will grow to be a big dog with long hair?” Barney asked.

“I’ll be very happy with a puppy,” Sarah assured him. “We’ll have to clean up after it and be very ’sponsible, though. My grandpa says puppies pee and poop on the floor. That’s how come he’s making me wait until I’m older to get a dog.”

Barney grinned. “Well, you strike me as being a pretty responsible little girl, and your mommy and I can help you train our puppy to go potty outside.”

Sarah bounced up and down again as if she had springs on the soles of her shoes.

After a simple dinner of macaroni and cheese with a side of broccoli, Taffeta gave Sarah a bath and helped her put on the pajamas that Cameron had put in the child’s suitcase. For Taffeta, fulfilling the role of mother again felt incredible. God had sent her a miracle.
No,
she corrected herself.
God sent me two miracles, my daughter and the most wonderful man on earth
. She cuddled with Sarah in the guest room bed to tell her stories. It was sheer heaven to be with her daughter again. Sarah began to yawn and blink her heavy eyelids. Taffeta found herself stifling yawns as well and wondered if it was true that yawning was contagious.

“I love you, Mommy,” Sarah murmured. “I ’member you. When I was little, you put ribbons in my hair.”

Tears swam in Taffeta’s eyes. Another miracle. Her daughter remembered some of the special times they’d shared. Maybe she would never recall everything, but they had a starting point upon which to build a relationship.

•   •   •

When Barney stepped to the guest room doorway to check on his wife and daughter—yes, he meant to take Sarah’s invitation to be her new daddy very seriously—he found the two of them wound around each other like yarn in a skein. Both of them were sound asleep. He rested his shoulder against the doorframe, smiling to himself.