New Species 12 Darkness (10 page)

He turned away. “I don’t want a lecture.”

Fair enough
. “What do you want?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Kat scooted a little closer but not enough to touch him. “Yes. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”

He stared straight ahead. “I want to forget.”

She could understand that.

“But Fury won’t let this go. He’s going to keep pushing until I tell him how they died. I don’t want him to hate me.”

“Why would he?”

“I was there.” He paused, taking a few deep breaths. “He knows that but not all of it. I was asked to write a summary report but didn’t include many details.”

“Is it too tough to talk about? That’s understandable.”

Darkness was silent for so long that she thought he’d totally shut her out. She peered out at the night, just sitting by him. He took a deep breath.

“We were kept in tents next to each other during the training.” He paused, his hands rubbing his pants over his thighs. “It was the first time we were made aware of each other’s existence and our blood connection. They made us do things.” His voice changed, deepened and turned raspy. “We did them. They said the humans we were ordered to kill were enemies, rebels who murdered innocents. They were well armed but were no match against us.”

Her stomach roiled a bit as her imagination filled in more blanks. She just hoped they hadn’t been US soldiers.

He seemed to guess where her thoughts had turned. “They didn’t speak our language. There were camps of them in the mountains. We hit at night. I didn’t feel so bad after the third time. We found the remains of a male child. They’d mutilated and murdered him. He couldn’t have been more than twelve.”

Kat blinked back tears, staring at the pond too. The sight of that poor kid’s body must have been horrific. The urge to reach over and curl her fingers over Darkness’ hand, still rubbing his thigh, struck her but she resisted.

“We had no choice.” He cleared his throat. “If one of us disobeyed, they’d have killed the others. They were my brothers and we wanted to survive. It’s against our nature to give up. We’re stubborn.”

“That’s a good thing. Sometimes that will keep you going no matter what.”

Silence stretched. “One night they ordered us to sneak into a camp and kill everyone. We got there but there were no armed males. It was only females and children.” His voice deepened into a snarl. “They were terrified when they saw us.”

Her gut twisted. She didn’t really want to hear any more. She liked him too much. “You don’t have to tell me this.”

“We refused to kill them.”

She turned her head to stare at him, their eyes meeting. Relief washed through her. “What happened?”

“The humans in charge of the project ordered us to go back and kill all of them.” His chin lifted and his handsome face was clearly visible in the moonlight. He was suffering. “We refused again.”

She had a sinking sensation that she wasn’t going to like what happened next.

“Number Four didn’t feel pain. It was too fast.” He paused. “
Boom
!”

His sudden loud outburst startled her.

“That was how quickly he died when they detonated his collar.”

Tears filled her eyes, understanding they’d murdered his brother.

“It didn’t take much of a charge to separate his head from his shoulders.”

Jesus
. She reached over. Her fingertips traced the back of his hand, so warm and larger than hers. She wanted to comfort him.

“They ordered us again to go kill everyone in that camp. I looked at my brothers and saw the same emotion in their eyes that must have been in mine. We refused.”

She guessed what was coming.

“Number Three closed his eyes and it was over. I saw fear in his expression though. He felt that before he died.”

“I’m…so sorry,” she whispered.

His hand twisted under hers and he laced long fingers through her smaller ones, holding her hand. He looked away to stare into the night again.

“They demanded again that we kill. Number Two stepped forward and said he’d do it. His survival instincts were strong and he was so enraged that he no longer cared who died. He just wanted to kill something out of revenge. It didn’t matter to him anymore if they were innocent. They were human. That was enough. I could see he’d snapped.”

She couldn’t blame his brother but it was horrific, knowing that Darkness had been a party to killing innocent people, despite being forced. It was the worst scenario to ever expect someone to be in.

He grew silent and she watched him until he looked back at her and suddenly leaned in closer. “Do you want to know why you should walk in the opposite direction when you see me?”

“You had no choice, Darkness. It was a kill-or-be-killed situation.”

“I snapped his neck with my bare hands.” His voice came out a snarl. “I couldn’t allow my brother to kill babies and helpless females. I will never forget the look in his eyes when I lunged forward and he realized what I was about to do. I saw betrayal and shock in them.” He released her hand. “I didn’t hesitate. I knew they’d kill me before I could take him out if my reflexes weren’t faster than the human with the remote for my collar.”

Kat blinked back tears, her chest tight with emotion that threatened to choke her. She wanted to tell him he did the right thing but she was afraid she’d start to cry if she did. It took everything she had not to fall apart. It broke her heart and made her respect him even more.

He lifted both hands with his palms facing her. “I clean them but the blood and deaths of others are stained here. I never forget.” He rolled away, gracefully getting to his feet. He kept his back to her. “Do you think Fury will still want to be a part of my life when he finds out I killed one of our brothers?”

She got to her knees, then to her feet. She trembled all over, emotionally overwrought. “You did the right thing and I think he’d understand,” she finally got out. “Why did they allow you to live?”

“You caught that. I knew you were smart. It was a test.” His tone came out raspy. “They needed to find out if we’d follow orders or die first. They didn’t count on the fact that I was willing to kill my own brother to save others. The test was deemed a failure and I was sent back to Mercile to the same fate as the other Species but I had to suffer the guilt of what I’d done.”

It was worse than cruel. “A failure of what kind of test?”

“To see if they could make us mindless killers by keeping us under their control. It didn’t work. They believed we didn’t have souls but they were wrong.”

“I’m so damn sorry, Darkness.”

He shrugged. “The past can’t be changed.” He turned his head but didn’t look at her, just stared into the night, his features in profile. “I’ll return you to your cottage to make sure you don’t get into trouble. You know you’re not allowed to roam Homeland without an escort. Let’s go.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”

He turned to stare at her. “Return to your cottage, Kat. Don’t follow me ever again or you might catch me in a moment when I’m not feeling so talkative. I don’t want you to be hurt if I’m in a defensive mood. That’s what caused that fight you saw.”

“I don’t believe you’re dangerous to me.”

He ran his fingers through his hair before he fisted his hands at his sides. “You’d be wrong.”

“You wouldn’t hurt a woman. You said so yourself.”

She could sense the danger. It hung in the air thickly as if it were a scent or a sensation, almost tangible. She refused to back down though. It was probably stupid but she did trust him with her life. He was tortured by his past but he was a good man.

“I’ve killed a female before.”

The news should have surprised her more but she remembered the vibe she’d gotten when he’d interrogated her and what she’d called him on after her class. “What did she do to you?”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want you so bad sometimes I have to fight myself not to take you.”

Her heart raced. She was attracted to him too but noticed he’d changed the subject. Part of her wanted to push for an answer about that woman but she was afraid he’d shut her out again. “We’re talking sex, right?” She wanted to be sure they were on the same page.

His gaze lowered down her body before jerking up to hold her curious stare. “I’m not mate material.”

“What does that mean?”

“Some of my kind have taken humans as mates. They aren’t as tormented inside as I am. They adjusted to freedom better and can provide those females with positive emotions and tenderness. I have neither. I am restless and wouldn’t take to a stable relationship well. I don’t have a heart to give. I don’t do commitment.”

The air froze inside her lungs until the jealousy passed. “You mean you sleep around with other women?”

His jaw clenched, the muscle taut. He hesitated. “I don’t seek female companionship. I scare most of them. They see me as too cold. I’m saying I would never offer anything more than physical pleasure.”

He was hot. She totally disagreed with the female New Species assessment if that’s what they really thought of him. “Understood. You’re not looking for anything long-term.”

“I don’t stay in one place for long. I transfer between Homeland and Reservation often. I will visit the Wild Zone for days or weeks at a time without bothering to stay inside the cabins provided there. I enjoy sleeping outdoors. Mates need a full-time male who is always there to protect them. That won’t ever be me.”

Message received
. He was offering a one-night stand. She took a deep breath and stepped closer to him. “I’m kind of good at taking care of myself and I’m not looking for anything long-term either. I’m married to my job. I travel a lot too.”

“Are you married to it right now?”

“I’m not working at this moment. This is my own time.”

His clenched fingers opened and he crossed his arms over his chest, regarding her with a frown. “You’re human.”

“I am.”

“They wish for more than to just share sex with a male.”

Amused, she smiled. “Are you an expert on them? If so, here’s a lesson. We’re not all the same.”

He wet his lips with his tongue. “You want to fuck me?”

She took another step closer, had to lift her chin to keep staring into his eyes, and knew she was playing with fire. He was blunt. She did want him, though, and had since they’d first met. There wasn’t a time she could recall of ever having been more attracted to a man.

“You like direct, don’t you?”

“Yes.” His voice deepened.

“Okay. I want you, Darkness. I’m not looking for an engagement ring or a lifetime commitment. I’m bad with the whole relationship thing. Tried it and failed miserably. Men tend to resent my job and my independence after a while. They are also irritated when they know I could take them in a fight.”

“I’d win if we tussled.”

She glanced at his powerful arms and well-built body, agreeing. She lifted her hand and placed it on his forearm. His skin was hot to the touch, just like him. “You don’t scare me.”

He slowly unfolded his arms and firm, large hands encased her hips. One jerk and she was flattened against his chest roughly enough to make her gasp. Their bodies pressed together. The bulge against her belly assured her he was interested in her too.

“This is one game you don’t want to play.”

“I’m not playing.”

He lowered his head while staring at her face. She wished she could see his beautiful eyes better in the dim night. The scent of his masculine cologne, or whatever it was that smelled so good, teased her nose. The urge to get closer became strong.

“You should tell me no while you can.”

“I don’t want to.”

He drew in a ragged breath, his chest invading her space and pressing against her breasts. “I’ll take you. Do you understand?”

“Your place or mine? Let’s go.”

He glanced around and his hold on her loosened. “Yours. The patrols will be by here soon.” He held her gaze. “Or I’d take you where you stand.”

Sexy.
She’d totally do him on the grass but wasn’t about to admit that. “Let’s go.”

He stepped back and his hands dropped away. “I come with conditions, Kat.”

“What are they?”

He hesitated. “You do what I say when it comes to sex.”

“You’re one of those.” She felt a little disappointed. “I’m not the Master-and-slave type. Sorry but I won’t drop to my knees on command to blow you or enjoy being smacked.”

“That’s not what I meant. I’m going to tie your hands to the headboard so you can’t touch me. Will you agree to that?”

“Why?”

He hesitated. “Remember when I had you in interrogation? I would have lost control of the situation if you’d had your hands free. That’s part of the terms. There will be no hitting involved but I’m not one of your humans. I just want to fuck you while I’m in control of it. It’s safer for both of us that way. Don’t ever forget what I said to you about an out-of-control male.”

Everything they’d shared inside that interrogation room flashed through her mind. “You want to repeat what happened between us before but this time you plan to finish what you start?”

“Yes. That’s half of my terms.”

“What’s the other half?”

He lowered his head and stared into her eyes. “Don’t lie to me this time. Everything that comes out of your mouth will be the truth when I have you naked or don’t say anything at all.”

His intense stare reminded her of why she was really there. That really dampened her mood. “Why would you want to take me to bed if you think I’m going to lie to you? That’s what you’re implying.”

“This is just about sex. Trust is earned but we’re strangers. I’m making that a term, Kat. No lies between us when we’re naked. Lie to me any other time and I won’t take it personally. You never want me to feel betrayed by you. Do you understand? It would be dangerous.”

She did and that scared her. He had made it clear that he suspected she was at Homeland for other reasons than to teach her classes. It was there between them, larger than life.

“I understand and accept the terms.”

“Also, this stays between you and me only. No one is to know what happens between us sexually. Do you agree?”