No Matter What (148 page)

Reece stood up, pushing the chair back under the table as he went over to the coffee machine.

“No.
 
She won’t eat; she won’t open the door so I can only assume she’s got water up there because she’s going to make herself ill if she hasn’t.
 
And no, she won’t even see her babies.”
 
He poured himself a cup of coffee and held one out to Kenny, who shook his head.
 
“Martha’s taking them home today.
 
We should have all been going home today, Kenny.
 
But
India
’s refusing to go anywhere and I can’t leave her here on her own in this state.
 
The kids need stability though.
 
They need to go back to
L.A.
 
Although what I’m going to tell them about their mum I don’t know.”

Kenny pushed a hand through his hair, unable to believe all this was happening.
 
Michael Walsh had a lot to answer for.
 
He’d done some shit in his time but this was something else.
 
Did he have any idea just how much damage he could have caused?

“Did you know about her and Ray?” Kenny asked.
 

Reece leaned back against the counter top and took a sip of the hot black coffee.
 
“No.
 
I didn’t.
 
I can’t believe she went through all of that and told nobody, Kenny.
 
How must she have been feeling?
 
And Ray ... he must have been going through it too.
 
In his own way.”
 
Reece sighed heavily, throwing his head back and closing his eyes for a second.
 
“It’s such a bloody mess!
 
Why didn’t she just tell someone?”

“Her head was all over the place, Reece.
 
It was a tough time for her as it was.”

Reece stared down into his coffee.
 
Everything just felt so surreal.
 
He was trying his best to make everything ok for the kids because they had no idea of the dramas going on around them.
 
But it was hard work and he was feeling the strain more than he cared to show.

“Jesus, Reece.
 
It’s been three days now,” Kenny said, breaking into Reece’s thoughts.
 
“She’s been up there for three days and somebody needs to get through to her.
 
We can’t just leave her there.”

“Do you not think I’ve tried?” Reece was slightly agitated now.
 
He knew all of this.
 
He knew they couldn’t leave her there but what could he do?
 
“I’ve tried everything, believe me.
 
But she just won’t respond.”

“Then I’ll kick the fucking door in.”

Kenny started to walk out of the room but Reece ran over and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
 
“Is that really the best way to handle this?”

“It seems apparent it’s the
only
way, Reece.
 
If she won’t come out and talk to anyone then she’s leaving me no other choice.”

Reece let go of his arm but Kenny stayed where he was, sighing heavily as he leaned back against the wall, kicking out at it in frustration.
 
“Shit, Reece, this is fucking unbelievable!
 
Are we just gonna let Michael get away with this?”

Reece turned away and walked back over to the kitchen table.
 
Kenny watched his body language, watched him closely as his shoulders almost tensed up.

“Reece?
 
What’s going on?”

Reece didn’t turn round at first, not until Kenny asked him again.

“What’s happening here, Reece?”

He slowly turned around to look at Kenny.
 
“He’s coming over here.
 
Soon.”

“What?
 
Michael’s coming
here
?
 
You’re letting him into this house?
 
Are you fucking crazy?
 
After what he’s done?”

“He’s still Ethan’s father, Kenny, and he wants to say goodbye to him before Martha takes him back to
L.A.
 
Michael’s not going back to The States just yet and he wants to see his son.
 
And you know how
India
feels about Ethan’s contact with his dad.”

“That was then, Reece, for fucks sake, things have changed.
 
How do you know
what
she’s feeling now?”

“How
can
I know, Kenny, when she won’t talk to me?
 
So I’m not stopping my grandson from seeing his father, no matter what he’s done, ok?
 
 
Ethan knows nothing of the turmoil and that’s the way it stays.
 
So yes, he’s coming here and I don’t like it any more than you do but I’m putting Ethan first.
 
God knows his mother doesn’t want to see him so let’s give him his father at least.
 
And as for that little girl, she needs her father too.
 
How can
India
be so selfish?
 
Has she any idea what she’s putting those babies through?”

Kenny could see the strain in Reece’s face.
 
Once again he was taking on everything and so far he’d handled it all extremely well, given the circumstances.
 
Who was
he
to start throwing his weight about when Reece had it all as under control as it possibly could be right now?

“I’m going to talk to her,” Kenny said, starting to walk out of the room.

“Kenny ...”

He turned around and looked at Reece.

“Just be careful, Kenny.
 
Please.
 
She’s so unhappy right now ... she’s so fragile.”

“I just want to make sure she’s ok.
 
I need to do that.
 
Don’t I?”

Reece nodded before Kenny turned away, almost running up the winding staircase to
India
’s room.
 
When he got there he started banging hard on the door.

“
India
?
 
It’s Kenny!
 
Come on, open the door!
 
Open the door or I’ll kick it down, and you know I will!
 
I’ll do it!
 
You’ve got ten seconds, babe, ten seconds then I’m kicking it down!”

He waited, leaning back against the wall, listening for sounds of movement inside and, as soon as he heard the key turn in the lock, he immediately grabbed the handle and opened the door.

India
looked up at him as he came into the room and his heart almost broke at the sight of her.
 
She was sitting in the centre of the huge bed, her knees drawn up to her chest, her eyes red and sore from the obvious crying she’d been doing, her face stained with tears.
 
She was wearing a shirt that he assumed was JJ’s and she was constantly fiddling with her wedding ring, her tired and swollen eyes empty and sad. So sad.
 
He’d never seen her look so low before and it hit him hard.

“You look like shit,
India
.”

She looked up at him again as he sat down beside her, gently touching her arm.
 
She was cold, freezing almost.

“You’re going to make yourself ill, do you know that?”

“I don’t care,” she said, staring down at her wedding ring, slowly turning her wrist round to look at her
JJ
tattoo.

“Well, you might like to know that the rest of us
do
care, and what you’re doing here could quite easily be seen as selfish.
 
Don’t you think?”

She slowly turned to look at him, her eyes so expressionless it was almost frightening.
 
“I don’t care, Kenny.
 
All I care about is Joe and he won’t even pick up the ‘phone and talk to me.
 
He doesn’t want to know and I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything without him.
 
I can’t.
 
I don’t want to.”

“
India
, come on, you’re scaring me, baby.
 
I don’t want to hear you talking like that.
 
You’re upset ...”

She looked at him again and this time there was a flash of anger in those dead, almost impassive eyes.

“Yes, I’m upset, Kenny.
 
I’m fucking upset!
 
I love him and he won’t talk to me, he won’t listen to me and I can’t handle that, I can’t ... I can’t handle that.”

More silent tears started falling down her already stained cheeks and Kenny felt helpless.
 
He was out of his depth here; he didn’t know what to do.
 
He’d never seen her like this before.
 
Not even after Terry’s death.
 
She’d been upset then, yes, of course she had, but she’d let people in, eventually.
 
She’d let them be with her, she’d let them comfort her.
 
This time she’d put up an even bigger barrier and he couldn’t get past it.

“Your dad’s worried about you,
India
.
 
He needs to know you’re ok.
 
We all do.”

She said nothing, she just continued to stare at her wedding ring as she turned it round and round on her finger.

“Come on, give me something here, babe, work with me.
 
All I want to do is help you.”

“You can’t help me, Kenny.
 
How can you help me?”
 
She looked at him.
 
“Can you make Joe come back to me?
 
Can you make him listen to me?”

“No ...”

“Then you can’t help me.”

He felt any control he had over this situation slipping away from him.
 
She’d just shut down.
 
She’d completely shut down.

“And what about the kids,
India
?
 
They need you.”

“They don’t need me.
 
Not like this.
 
They’ll be fine with mum and dad.”

“They’re going back to The States today, do you know that?
 
Martha’s taking them home,
India
.
 
Don’t you want to see them before they go?”

She shook her head.
 
Just thinking of Ellie and how much she looked like her daddy made her heart break all over again and Kenny could see the pain in her face, so strong he almost felt it too.

“I need to be with Joe.
 
I just need to be with him so much, Kenny, and this is killing me.
 
I don’t know what to do.
 
I just feel lost ...” She suddenly stopped talking, looking towards the closed bedroom door then back at Kenny.
 
“That’s Michael’s voice … out there, that’s Michael’s voice.”

“
India
, hang on babe …”

India
jumped off the bed and Kenny ran after her, trying to grab her arm before she flung open the door but he was too late.
 
She was face to face with her

ex-husband and there was nothing anybody could do now.

“You fucking bastard!” she screamed, pushing Michael so hard he stumbled backwards.
 
“You fucking evil bastard!
 
Do you know what you’ve done?
 
Do you?”

Michael regained his balance, grabbing onto the banister beside him, reaching out to
India
but she stepped backwards, away from him.

“
India
, come on ...” Kenny said, trying to take her hand but she pushed him away.

“Leave it, Kenny!”
 
She looked at Michael again, feeling nothing but hate as she stared at the man who’d wrecked her life with one selfish act.
 
“Have you any idea what you’ve done?
 
You
made him go,
you
made him leave and I hate you for that, I fucking hate you!”
 
Her voice was still raised and she ran at him again, lashing out with her arms and fists, stopping only when Kenny pulled her away, tears still streaming down her face and Michael just looked at her.
 
He’d done this and it wasn’t what he’d wanted to do.
 
He hadn’t wanted to see her in this much pain, he really hadn’t.
 
But he hadn’t been thinking straight, he hadn’t been in a good place, and seeing her like this was a punishment he didn’t want to have to go through, it was too painful.

She was looking at him now, Kenny holding her back whilst her father watched on with the sad and tired eyes of a man who couldn’t bear to see his daughter go through all of this, and Michael felt like the bastard she’d told him he was.
 
How could he be anything else when he’d done this to her?
 
To the woman he still loved so much.